Lamisha Serf-Walls

This or That: What To Do At a Crossroad

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crossroad

Happy Tuesday Lovely readers!

How many of you have been in a situation lately or in your life when you have had to make a decision?  I’m not talking “what shall I have for dinner tonight” although for some of us this can prove to be a pretty challenging decision.  I am talking about the BIG decisions.

For instance: Taking one job over another.  Moving ‘there’ or staying right where you are.  Follow your dreams or stay where it’s secure.

In the course of my life I have made many seemingly big decisions and every time I sat down to think them through, I got anxious.  I wanted to make the right decision!  My thoughts were clouded by all the pros and cons and I was overwhelmed by the options and how they would play out in the future.

I was at a crossroads and I didn’t know which way to go.

What I didn’t know then (but I know now), is that we all have an internal-decision-maker.  It’s called the heart.  Ok, maybe not the physical, blood pumping heart, but it’s the intuitive “heart” that can feel its way through situations.  The problem is we forget we have it because we have grown so accustomed to thinking our way through issues, we immediately try to do what is logical.  If you are like me, you may have found the logical route to be more than a bit rocky and instead downright miserable.

The work I do with clients is to help get them out of their heads and into their hearts.  Instead of thinking through the pros and cons of a situation, I want them to feel their way forward.  Our bodies are amazing and they can provide a lot of information about the decisions and choices we make on a daily basis.  I find that the ‘wrong’ choices (or at least not the best choice for me in the moment) feels restrictive to me.  My chest tightens and things just feel heavy overall.  However, when I make a choice from my heart and it is the ‘right’ choice, I feel expansive and an opening occurs in my chest.  I feel uplifted and light.  Those are my markers, but you may feel differently.  The key is tapping into your body every now and again (I suggest daily) to get to know the feelings that come up as you make your decisions.  It could help you immensely as you move forward along your path.

Now, I don’t believe in making ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ choices (even though sometimes it feels like there is one or the other).  I believe that every choice we make along our paths is an opportunity for growth, learning, and experience.  Whether you feel you have made the ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ decision, there is always an opportunity for you to move forward and make your dreams a reality.  Always.

But, in order to get there and enjoy it to the best of your ability, you must learn to tap into your intuitive heart and feel your way forward.  And that is why I have created something called Crossroad Coaching.  

Crossroad Coaching is for when you have those moments of uncertainty and you are unsure of which way to go.  You have a decision to make and are having trouble discerning what is best for you, right now.  That is where I come in.  I can help you tap into your intuitive heart and help you work out where the kinks might be, so you can feel good about your decision.  I want you to feel comfortable and confident in the decisions you make and I want you to step boldly into your future with the light, bright, and expansive feeling you have when you know everything is working out exactly as it should.  If you are interested in how Crossroad Coaching works, feel free to contact me and we can chat about your specific situation.

And should you find yourself questioning whether to follow your dreams now or later, take a look at this awesome video from Marie Forleo where she gives some insight to a reader who has a decision to make of her own.

Your Gift, Your Dream, Your Path

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If I have learned anything in the last few years, it is that we all have gifts to give to the world and if we are lucky enough to realize them, we have the opportunity to make them into our dreams.  With that dream comes a path that will teach us amazing lessons along the way.

The person you were when you first realized your gift is not the same person you will be when you apply it to your dreams.

You will change.The Bamboo Forest and some great Twitter Lists to follow

Your path might too.

And as much change, lessons, amazing insights, and growth you go through, at the core you will be the same.

At your core, in your heart, and in the midst of your creative soul, you will be the same.

That passion and love you are sending out into the world has always been with you on some level.  It may have started as just a tiny seedling of interest, inspiration, and hope that eventually developed some roots of importance and passion.  Through storms of confusion and frustrating questions of “how” things would turn out, you have held true to your path, your calling, and your gift.

The path to creating the life of your dreams is yours and as you travel it you get to decipher what lines up with your vision and what does not.  And every “mistake”, “mis-step”, and “failure” is really an opportunity to learn and grow.

So take the first step on your path with positive expectation and open arms for all that you are going to discover about yourself and the world around you, for nothing will provide a more amazing journey than you setting out to make your dreams become reality.

One step is all it takes to get you to the next.  Why not start now?
photo credit: Stuck in Customs via photopin cc

Authenticity and Intuition

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Everyone who sets out on a new path into a future that is unknown experiences bouts of fear, insecurity, excitement, and a variety of other feelings that come with the territory.  It’s normal.  It’s expected and it’s sometimes necessary to learn extremely important lessons.  Do you know how I know this?  Because I have had to learn some pretty big lessons in authenticity and intuition.

You see, when you start something new you might look around to others for their help and expertise in various decisions and choices you are making.  Being a newbie in whatever field you are in, it is often suggested to have a mentor to provide guidance and insight into what you are doing.  It’s also great to have a second eye on new projects or things that you are working on in order to help you grow your skill set.  It doesn’t matter what your dream might be, but if it’s new, there will likely be some growing pains along the way.

But, what happens when you begin outsourcing decisions and opinions to a degree that you lose faith in your own ability to choose what is right and wrong for you?  What happens when you lose the little bit of confidence you had to begin with?

What happens is you lose the connection with your intuition and your authentic self, which can be detrimental to dream and your wavering confidence.

But wait a minute Lamisha, didn’t you say that it’s okay to ask for help and assistance when we are reaching for our dreams and that we don’t have to do it alone???

Yes I did say that and I still stand by that statement, BUT it is also important to stay true to who you are and to stay connected to your intuition.  Advice, insight, and assistance are all fine and good, but when it doesn’t feel right and goes against who you are, take note.  Whatever the suggestion is might not be what is right for you in that moment.

I don’t expect my clients (or myself for that matter) to know everything there is to know in order to accomplish their dreams, but I encourage them to listen to their intuition and use it as guidance for the choices they make.  Does that mean that if a suggestion is scary they don’t do it?

Not necessarily.  It can take some work to learn to differentiate between fear and intuition, but once you figure it out, you can begin feeling your way to the future life of your dreams.

It also doesn’t mean you won’t ever have to experience challenging lessons along the way.  Sometimes our intuition will lead us to exactly what we need to learn and experience, so take it as a gift and a lesson.

I guess what I am saying is to trust yourself.  Believe in your dream and trust that the path will light up for you and the steps, advice, inspiration, and action steps on your path will come when they are meant to.  If it just doesn’t feel right and you feel like you are creating someone else’s idea of your dream, then that’s not for you.  Take a step back and remember what your dream is and set the intention on being open to the steps that will keep your dream authentic for you. We all have experienced those “gut feelings” now and again, so tap into your intuition and I assure you it won’t lead you astray.

Feeling The Pull, But Need A Push

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I recently read a book called The Gift of Adversity and in it was a story about how the author (Norman Rosenthal, M.D.) was in a work environment that was just “ok”.  He had a feeling he wanted to do something more, to make a change, and expand upon what he had learned at this given place of employment.  Instead of following this feeling, he stayed and after some time he realized with new management and new structuring, he was essentially being pushed out.  He then remembered the words of a colleague who had been trying to recruit him for another position.

“In order to leave, you need both a push and a pull.  Right now, you have no push.”led by dreams

How many of us can say that about taking that step into the life of our dreams?  Sometimes our dreams pull at us quietly like a young child tugging at our hand to gently guide us into another room to play.  As the pull gets stronger it can feel like a magnetic force pulling us into the future, yet our feet remain planted on the ground.

Why is that?

I think it is because we have settled into our reality for what it is.  We have become friends with our lives as they are and think to ourselves “It’s not so bad.”  But a “not so bad” life also doesn’t mean it’s passionate, exciting, and fulfilling.

I have heard people say they feel guilty about wanting what they want.  Selfish for wanting something more than what they have.  Mothers wanting a moment of peace, feeling guilty when they get it or feeling bad when they decide to do something that will fulfill their deepest desires like writing a book or starting a business.

Dreams are not selfish.  They are natural, beautiful, and amazing.  They are the reasons we have all the wonderful technological advances we have.  A dream is just a thought fueled by passion and desire.  Dreaming is what kids do without being taught to do so.  They have wide open imaginations that exist in surround sound and technicolor.  Ask a child what they want to be when they grow up and you will get a multitude of magical answers.  It’s refreshing when you think about it because they think without limits.  They want to flying superheroes by night and comic book authors by day.  They want to save the world and everyone in it, never once thinking if it is possible.  We could learn a lot from them.

So if you have your pull (and I assure you, you do), where is your push?  For me it is knowing my full-time employment will be ending in a few months.  The picture in my head looked a little different when I first thought about how my dreams would manifest.  But who am I to question the push?  It is here and by golly it is exciting!  Am I a little uneasy in the not-knowing?  I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t.  Of course I am!  But I am also excited to see what will come of it and have faith that it is all going to work out.

If you feel the pull, but need a little push to get you going, send me a message and we can get you started with a free coaching session.  Let’s explore the amazing possibilities of what your ultimate dream could become.  Are you ready?

 

Decisions, Decisions Which Will You Choose?

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Everyday we are making hundreds of decisions.  Decisions about what time to wake up, what to wear, what to eat, where to go, how to get there etc.  Some decisions are not huge life-altering choices and are seemingly easier to make.  If I decide to wake up at 5 am as opposed to 5:30 am, I can make that choice rather easily.  When I decide what to eat for lunch, I simply ask myself, “What do I feel like eating?”, and if it is readily available, I will eat that.  Many times these daily decisions require little to no assistance from anyone but ourselves, giving us the freedom to follow our emotions, inspiration, and our own feelings to choose between choice A and choice B.

Then there are the other decisions.

You know, the ones that feel huge, life-altering, oh-my-goodness-I-hope-I-make-the-right-choice, kind of decisions.  Those decisions are much less easy-going and can create a lot of anxiety, frustration, and worry.  Decisions about what house to buy, what career to choose, or what partner is right for us.  These are the decisions we talk to our friends, parents, spouses, and co-workers about in order to ensure we are making the right decision and yet, even with the advice from so many people, we still question some of our choices.  steve_jobs_quotes

I guess you could say many of us believe that someone else knows more about us than we do.  Maybe they are more experienced, more educated, more successful, etc., and in our eyes, they know what is best for us.  The problem with always consulting someone else on major life decisions, we lose our sense of power and freedom.  When we believe someone else knows what is best for us more than we do, we are giving away our power to someone else and in turn can lose our confidence to make choices in the future.

How many of us made a choice for our careers based on someone else’s advice.  Maybe we thought that a certain field would be more profitable or we would be more successful in it, yet we always knew it wasn’t the best place for us.

The truth is some of us (me included) have been taught to believe that there is a right and a wrong decision in life, but there isn’t.  There are simply choices that will lead you down one path or another (or many).  There is no formula that you can use to determine which is right and which is wrong because it is different for every person. 

Bummer huh?

So, how do you know what is the right career path, product, partner, business decision, etc. for you?

The best way is to listen to your intuition.  You know that feeling in your gut that causes you to pick up the phone to call someone just as they were going to call you for something.  That’s the one.  It is also what I call leading with your inspiration.

When you follow the same principles for the big decisions as you do for the little ones, you learn to trust your intuition.  Did you consult with all of your friends and family members before you selected your breakfast this morning?  Probably not.  You most likely followed your intuition or inspiration for what you wanted to eat.

The same goes for making any other decision in life.  Sure, some of the bigger decisions may require some research etc., but if you can quiet your mind and get in touch with what you are feeling, you will be able to feel for the best decision for you.

In my coaching, I work with my clients to help them get more in tune with their inspiration.  I encourage them to follow what feels good to them and to listen to their internal compass (their emotions) to decide what is right for them. As they follow their intuition and lead with their inspiration, amazing opportunities and big shifts happen in what we are working on.

Are you interested in learning how to trust your intuition and follow your inspiration to finally live the life of your dreams? What to know more about how I can help you?  Visit my services page to see how I can help you make major moves toward your dreams.  What are you waiting for?  Send me an email at lamisha@lifeoncedreamt.com to schedule a FREE coaching call.