Lamisha Serf-Walls

To Do or Not Do…That Is The Question

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Most goal setting techniques involve setting a list of steps and then acting on those steps one at a time.  It makes sense in some cases to do things that way, but that isn’t always the best method I am realizing.  Sometimes it is important to take some time away from “doing” and to allow your previous actions to take shape and to allow the Universe to work some magic.

I recently finished Marlise Karlin’s book The Power of Peace in You and in it she describes igniting the power of stillness and peace within and living from that space to discover a life better than you imagined.  You can read my full review here, but one quote I found that really hit me is one that discusses doing vs not doing as a way to accomplish your dreams.

“Often, the best thing to do is…nothing at all, allowing space for inspiration by leaving a void.  It is here, in this essential non-doing, where you release attachment to the outcome-that the miraculous emerges to show you a different pathway for getting where you want to go.  You can’t tap into the Energy field of inspired solutions or discover the unforeseen if you are always racing to get it done at all costs.” Marlise Karlin in The Power of Peace in You

This quote has proven to provide a profound shift in my thinking regarding attaining my goals and dreams.  I have since moved (albeit slowly) from a place of doing to a place of non-doing in some situations and while it has been somewhat uncomfortable there, I am learning that there is certainly some value in it.  The key for me is knowing when to do and not do.

I suppose like anything in life, this is a matter of balance.  Just like a farmer can’t continuously plant seeds in the same space over and over again and expect his crop to grow overnight, I must learn to be content with letting my own dream crop grow.  Sometimes that means allowing my ideas, creations, and thoughts to ferment before I do anything with them.   For instance, when I started this blog, I went through a long period of thinking, pondering, creating, and allowing the right name, niche, idea to come to me.  And when it finally did, there was no question as to whether I should act or not act.  Maybe that is the key.

Plant your seeds of imagination and plant as many as you come up with, but be patient as you allow them to take shape or die out because the ones that are meant to be will be.  When you provide the space of non-doing, you allow miracles to happen because let’s face it, if you are always trying to do, do, do, the Universe has no time to work on your behalf.  But, if you are like me, you might wonder what you are supposed to do in the time you are not working on your goals.  My answer (one I often need to remember myself)? Have fun.

When you are not actively working on your goals and you are providing a space for them to breathe and grow, do something fun.  Catch up on a hobby you have missed.  Read a good book, get outside in nature, have coffee with a friend.  Life is meant to be enjoyed and if you are working on your goals all the time, no matter how happy they make you, you are likely to burn out.

So what are you doing or not doing right now in regards to your dreams and life goals?

How I’m Building My Life Coaching Dream

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In my last post I talked about my current midnight hustle and how my life coach training may have to be put on hold longer than I originally had planned, however I wanted to give you a little bit of insight into how I am keeping my focus strong on my dream of inspiring and changing lives through coaching.

I decided just before starting this blog, that I wanted to do something now that would  not only support my journey to becoming a life coach, but also keep me inspired, motivated, and focused on my vision.  Since I am very much a do-er, I wanted something that I could do besides sit and daydream about “one day when”.  Over time the list of things I am doing to prepare for my business has grown and I am delighted to share them with you in hopes that you find a bit of inspiration to take action on part of your dreams, even if you have to wait for other pieces to fall into place.

So far here is what I am doing to prepare, plan, and focus on my business:

Research -When I first realized I wanted to be a life coach, I had no idea where to begin, so naturally I enlisted the help of the internet and did as much research as possible.  I wanted to see how other coaches had gotten started, where they studied, and what they were doing.  I even spent some time interviewing people who were in the coaching business.  This piece has been essential and while I did most of my research in the very beginning, I still do a bit here and there as I begin thinking about what I want my business to look like.

Blog – As my excitement grew, I felt like I had to do more than just read about coaching.  I realized I was already coaching friends, family, and co-workers in one way or another, so why not use my writing to reach out and inspire others?  After many months of intentionally planning the focus for my blog, in October 2012 I started writing.  I decided my blog would eventually turn into a portion of my business page and what better way to launch a business than to have readers to launch it to?

Brainstorm – This seems like a no-brainer, but I have spent some time over the last year simply writing down ideas, thoughts, possible business names, and things I would like to offer within my coaching.  In fact, I have a notebook dedicated to my business ideas and the best part about it is I just let my creativity flow.  I don’t limit anything that I write or judge it as good or bad, I simply brainstorm.  Who knows what it might turn into?

Collect Information – A few months ago I started a folder in my email entitled “Business”.  In it I collect newsletters, blogs, advice, and other information that I receive from various websites I subscribe to and my intuition tells me this is going to be very beneficial later.  Much of the advice may not apply to me right now, but it is something I can use in the future.  For instance the last one I received today was from Jess Lively in her “Wish I Knew Wednesday” post about dealing with worry and doubt as it applies to business.  I highly recommend being added to her newsletter if you are thinking of starting or have your own business and want some advice from someone who has been running her own business since she was 15.  And since I didn’t study business in college and am a newbie to being my own boss one day, I will take all the advice I can get.

Learning– One other item I am doing a little bit of is studying other coaches and their methods as well as gaining valuable insight from a free training program a dear friend sent me.  I love learning and the more information and knowledge I have before I actually launch my business, the more confidant I will be.  So I am taking full advantage of any information I stumble upon that may add to my training (even before training), or my business knowledge.

Allowing – I had to add this tidbit of info because while it seems that I am actively planning and building my dream, that isn’t exactly the case.  I am simply allowing things to unfold organically.  Conversations lead to research and research leads to books with tons of information etc.  I am keeping an open mind and following the flow of life.  I know in due time my dream will become real

So in a nutshell that is how I am planning for my business that I have yet to create.  My vision is growing more realistic, vibrant, and exciting everyday and I can’t wait for the day I get to experience it.  The truth is it’s far more than a vision, this is my dream on a journey to becoming reality.

 

Away From the Flock

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You’ve heard the saying “birds of a feather flock together” or  “misery loves company”, I was living those sayings for awhile and not in a good way.  For a long time I found myself drawn to people who could commiserate with my misery, particularly in the workplace.  I found myself in a job that I didn’t love, working for a boss that was manipulative, frustrating, and simply unfair.  Many of my coworkers felt the same way, so each day we would spend our breaks complaining about our work lives, though not many of us were doing anything about it.  I soon realized this was not healthy thing for me, and it was keeping me in a very negative mood most days and I just didn’t like the person I was becoming.  I would like to say I came to that realization on my own, but I didn’t.  My partner helped me realize I was allowing the negativity to affect me as a person.  Not only was it affecting me, but I was bringing my anger and frustration home, which was not something I wanted to do.  So after many months of thinking “I can’t help it”,  I made some changes.

 
I began seeing my job for what it was, a job, not a career.  While that thought alone didn’t fix my problematic boss situation, or keep me from being frustrated day in and day out, it was a start.  The next thing I did was limit the time I spent complaining and started focusing on the positive aspects of my position.  I began thinking of what the future may hold for me and what lesson I was supposed to be learning.  I had been looking for another job on and off for about 2 years and had difficulty finding the “right” position which I attributed that to the lesson I still had to learn in my current position.  I didn’t immediately know what the lesson was since I was so focused on the negativity, but then something happened…I changed my attitude.

Once I changed my attitude about my situation my situation changed.  It was like magic!  Within a few months I was asked to apply for a position with another company that seemingly fell out of the sky.  I wasn’t actively looking for another job at the time, but this position fit perfectly with my family life and the impending move we had planned in the coming months.  I couldn’t believe it!  Just when I had stopped looking for the things to complain about, and stopped flocking with the negative crowd, my reality changed and it changed for the better.  Lesson learned…or so I thought.

Lately I have been feeling a pull towards the future me.  The one that has her own business, sets her own hours, and is doing the work that she loves.  A version of me that seems so very far away and at times the thought can be frustrating.  Add to that the stress and frustration at work and I found myself beginning to move towards the flock of negativity again.  Not. Good. News.  With that said there is a flip side to this and that is, I am aware of it.
I am very aware of the road I am beginning to travel down, and I remember very clearly what happened the last time I was on this road.  So I am choosing to turn around and head down a more productive, more positive, more optimistic path.  One of faith.

I have faith that I am being challenged right now for a reason, and while I don’t know what that reason is, I know it will lead me to something better.  I just have to believe not only in myself, but in my dream.  And I am going to do just that.

I intend to be more aware of my complaining and limit it as much as possible so I don’t follow the flock down a road I have already traveled.  I already know what is at the end, and it is not pretty.  I choose to embrace the positive aspects of life and have faith that those positives will multiply.  I’ve seen it happen before, and I know it will happen again with a little faith.
What about you? How do you stay positive, even when your outer circumstances are less than ideal?