Lamisha Serf-Walls

“Do It All Right Now”-Syndrome

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In the last two weeks or so I have had many conversations with fellow dreams who have so many things they want to accomplish and either aren’t sure where to begin or just have to do it all right now. 

I can relate.medium_4242711301

I can be a bit (ahem) impatient at times especially when it comes to my dreams.  I want to help all the women in the world  make their dreams come true, but setting a goal like that is paralyzing.

It’s much easier to accomplish when you take it one step at a time.  After all, this journey is not meant to be a sprint right?  It’s meant to be the most amazing marathon (wait are marathon’s fun, I’ve never done one).  Anyways you get my point.

We aren’t here to do it all right now.  And if we were, by trying to do it all right away, we miss the magical moments and wondrous hours of pure bliss knowing we did it.

So, if you find yourself suffering from “Do It All Right Now”-Syndrome, try a few of my tips below:

    • Breathe- Take nice slow deep breaths to and focus on the moment.  If I have learned anything in yoga it is that we don’t breathe deeply enough in our day-to-day tasks, so just breathe.
    • Focus- Find one thing that you can do right now.  It’s probably going to seem small, but the size of the action doesn’t matter, remember your dreams happen with consistent inspired action and progress.
    • Meditate- I know, I know.  I say this all the time, but I promise it helps.  Take a break and re-center yourself with a meditative walk or guided meditation.  It will not only call the “must act now” vibes, but also help you clear your head so you can take it one step at a time.
    • Remember- Your path is meant to be a journey and if you are so busy moving through the moments just to get to the next you miss an entire barrage of lessons, joy, and experiences you can’t get anywhere else.  So, slow down and know that you will get to it all, but you don’t have to do it all right this very second.

photo credit: brixton via photopin cc

If you find yourself trying to untangle the web of ideas, action steps, and things you want to do right now and need some help, contact me.  I am a master and helping you find clarity in your dreams and can help you ease into your action steps one at a time so you can enjoy the amazing journey that is before you.  Isn’t the what life is all about?  Doing what you love and taking the time to enjoy it.  There is no better time than the present!   

When You Have The Case of the “Have To-s”

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In the past few weeks, I have noticed more and more people have the case of the “have to-s”.

The case of the “have to’s” is a feeling that there is so much to be done and so little time to do it.  It’s brings a sense of obligation, but not necessarily motivation to complete certain tasks.  It is the feeling you might get when you go to a job you hate and do work that you just have to do to get paid.

Yuck!

We have all been there and many of us are there more frequently than not even when we are doing things to help build our vision for the future.  I know this because I have been there.

In the past few weeks, my list of “have to-s” seems to have grown.  I have emails to send, calls to make, articles and blog posts to write, and appointments to schedule and when the momentum gets moving so quickly and I find myself struggling to catch up, I feel drained, uninspired, and just plain blah!

Have you been there?

busyI’m sure you have.  Heck, you might be there right now, but I assure you, you don’t have to stay there forever.  I have found a few things to help a bit when you find yourself dreading all the things you just have to do.

  • Take A Break– What??? Yes, I know that your list is as long as your leg and you just don’t have time to take a break, but I assure you, you need it.  When things get moving so fast and your head is spinning and you are struggling to complete any one task, you need to take a break.   Take 5 minutes and get some fresh air.  Close your eyes and do some deep breathing exercises or take a little walk.  Whatever you do, just get away from it for a moment so you can come back refreshed.  It doesn’t sound like a lot, but it does wonders!
  • Change Your Language– Instead of thinking of the things on your list as obligations and things you have to do, reframe them to things you get to do!  The words we use have energy in them and “I have to go to work today” feels heavier than ” I get to go to work today”.  While you might not think that going to work is a very uplifting thing, there are many benefits you get from going to work, i.e. a paycheck.  So, if nothing else, think of the money you ‘get to earn’.  A simple change in your words can help change how you feel…true story!
  • Passion First– Something I talk about in my newsletter this month is passion vs productivity (if you haven’t signed up for my VIP List, you totally should).  Sometimes keeping your inspiration alive is as simple as starting your day with something that feeds your soul.  This might be a task you do for your side biz or a bit of writing or craft work.  Whatever it is, start the day with something you LOVE to do.  It can help your day flow better and turn your ‘have to-s’ into ‘want to-s’.
  • Simplify and Be Easy– A question I have had to ask myself many times is, do I really need to do that right this second or have I just set up an unrealistic expectation of myself?  Chances are if you are wanting to do 100 things in 24 hours and still sleep and eat etc. you might have overcommitted yourself.  Simplify things a bit.  So what you wanted to blog 5 days a week and you only have time for 2 this week because you are working on another project.  The world isn’t going to end, your readers aren’t going to leave you, and I promise things will be ok.  Let some things off your plate and make some doodle space for yourself.  Life is far too short to just be busy for busy-sake.

So there you have it!  A few tips to help when you are fighting off a case of the ‘have to-s’.

***Have you signed up for my Very Inspiring Giveaway yet?  If not, do so here!  I promise this book will change your life and will be one that uplifts and inspires you.  Only a few days left to sign up!!***

When You Just Want To Give Up…And A Free Gift

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For some people, a life coach is thought of as a personal cheerleader who is always happy, always inspiring, and always pushing you to turn that frown upside down even when things feel difficult.  The thing is, life can feel difficult sometimes and if life can feel that way, so can your dreams.

While I like to think I am in some ways a motivator and an inspirational voice to my clients, sometimes things just feel impossible.  I know that.  I get it.  I have experienced it.

Who hasn’t been in that space where you doubt why you started this journey to begin with.  When life keeps throwing curve balls your way and you aren’t sure which side is up, how can you do anything other than lose faith in your dreams???

It happens.  It sucks, but it happens.givingup

Our current reality is what we see and feel every day.  Each time we punch the clock, check our account balance, or ponder how to find time to do that thing we really need to do to make progress, reality is staring us in the eye.  Heck, sometimes it’s jumping up and down saying, “You can’t get rid of me!!!” And it is during those times that our inspiration hits rock bottom.  The Dream Crusher starts in on us telling us things that just aren’t true.

“You’re a fraud!”

“You will never write that book.”

“You just aren’t meant to do that.”

“You aren’t smart enough, strong enough, pretty enough, clear enough, professional enough…”

You get the idea.

It is in that moment you want to just give up altogether.  You think about throwing in the towel and raising your white flag because it all just seems too hard!!!

If you are in that place right now, I want you to know that you are not alone.

Every successful person in the world has at one time or another (likely many times), felt like they were never going to get there.  They have had their Dream Crusher sweep in and steal their dreams, leading them to believe it just isn’t meant to be.  They have heard the same voices and wanted to throw in the flag.  They have wondered why they keep going and have thought about just quitting altogether.

Only they don’t.

Instead, they take a step back.  Breathe a little, regroup, revise, revisit plans, and allow their inspiration to return.  They meet with friends who believe in their vision.  They sleep.  They go for walks.  They get some exercise and by golly they get back up and keep going.

They remember why they had this dream to begin with.  They remember how far they have come to make it happen.  They remember the passion and drive that brought them to where they are today.  But most of all, they remember the faith they had to get started in the first place and remind themselves that while they don’t have the answers now, they don’t have to have it all figured out at once.  It’s going to happen.  In fact, it already is happening before their very eyes.  They are learning what kind of strength and fortitude they truly have.

And so can you.

So if you are ever find yourself just wanting to give up, just breathe, relax, and remember why you started to begin with.  Your vision, your power, your purpose, your passion is why you started and those are the things that will keep you going.

For those of you looking for some concrete practices on keeping your dream alive, sign up for my mailing list (so you get first dibs on product launches, new offerings, and free stuff) and snag your free copy of 20 Ways To Keep Your Dream Alive.  I promise you won’t be sorry you did!

Seeking Balance Amongst the Chaos

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I have to admit that I am generally a person of extremes.  When it comes to my time commitments, I generally have found myself either super busy or super bored.  I don’t do it intentionally, but it happens more often than not and I find myself desperately seeking excitement or desperately seeking peace and I am almost never in a space where I feel balanced.

That is going to change very soon.

I currently have a full plate and while much of the fullness is the result of my own expectations and choices, I still have a lot going on.  In addition to finishing up my last 7 weeks of my current full-time job (eek!), I am also taking on a bit more freelance work, building my business layer-by-layer, coaching a few clients, and tending to my family.  Did I mention I am also looking for other work on and off and trying to figure out where I will end up come January 2014?  Needless to say my schedule is full.

I am proud to say I haven’t reached a point of total overwhelm, but sometimes I feel like I am aimlessly juggling noodles which if you haven’t tried is not an easy task.

I know that many of you are going through similar challenges.  You are venturing into the land of your dreams while still handling your current responsibilities so it can get a little crazy.  The good news is it doesn’t have to be all or nothing.  Below I have come up with a few tips to help create more balance and to ease the chaos.  These are steps that I plan on implementing and I hope you find them helpful too!

  1. Brain dump- Write down every single thing you need to do.  You may choose to do this daily, weekly, or monthly but the key is to get every thing down on paper so you don’t have to remember it all.  You might want to divide the list into categories.  For instance, you might have Work, Business, Home, etc. and list all the tasks you need to complete and by when (if there is a deadline).
  2. Learn to say NO– Too often we find ourselves saying yes to every invitation and opportunity that comes up even when it is something we don’t really want to do. It’s ok to say no sometimes.  Heck it’s ok to say no a lot of the time if it isn’t in line with what you want for your life.  Before you go adding another item to your list, think about whether it will add value to your life and your vision.  If it is simply a time filler, say no and move onto something that you are inspired to do.
  3. Cut the fat- Go through the list you just created and figure out what you can get rid of.  Are there things that someone else can do for you?  For instance, if you have on your list to “fall clean” for the holidays, maybe you can hire someone to come in and do that for you.  Get creative and figure out what you can drop now and more importantly think of the things you can put in its place that are more enjoyable and more aligned with your vision.  If you can be writing two chapters for your upcoming novel in the time it takes to clean your house from top to bottom, by all means hire someone!
  4. Listen to your body- I have learned that when I am overwhelmed with the tasks I have to do I often feel tension and stress in the center of my chest.  When I start feeling that way I know I need to take a step back and relax.  Sometimes I go for a walk, meditate, or take a nap.  The key is to notice how your body responds to stress and not only listen, but respond to what you need in that moment.  I guarantee if you listen you will find you need to take a break.
  5. Ask yourself what do you WANT to do- This may seem counter-intuitive when you have a lot going on, but doing something that you truly want to do can give you enough energy to get through 2-3 more tasks on your list.  If you aren’t used to asking yourself what you want to do, set scheduled check-in times.  Stop what you are doing, be still, and feel for the answer.  Are you hungry?  Thirsty?  Tired? Antsy? What do you want to do?  You might be surprised at what you get.
  6. Have fun- This one is a big one.  Despite all the things we put on our plate even after we cut the fat, we need to make sure to make room for fun.  Do things that you want to do simply because you enjoy them.  Do you want to go to a museum or a concert?  Feel like going dancing?  Do it!  You might just find that following your inspiration to just enjoy yourself may lead you to the very next piece you need to keep moving forward.

I hope some of the tips above help you find balance as you move forward on your journey.  Do you have a practice that you do that wasn’t included?  Feel free to share in the comments section.  I would love to hear about how you find balance in your everyday life.

As for me, I am going to listen to my body and get some much-needed rest.

 

Have you been thinking about your intentions for the New Year and want some assistance getting clear about our dreams?  Let’s chat about how I can help you get a jump start on your vision for the future.  There is no time like the present to start.  Contact me to find how you can get started. 

Guidance, Info, and Resources Oh My!

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guidanceAs you continue (or begin as it may be) your path to living the life you once dreamt, you may find yourself in need of guidance, information, and resources to help you along the way.  You may need to know more about setting up a blog, html coding, the legalities of business, how to write a book proposal, or any number of things.  The amount of what you don’t know may feel overwhelming, but never fear because there are many people in the world who have been where you are, are willing to share what they know, and even provide it to you for FREE!!

Asking yourself how to get started or continue your path of things you don’t know?

Here are a few tips to get you started:

  • Reach out to your network. You never know how far your network can reach until you ask.  Tell your friends, family, and co-workers what you are working on.  Ask them if they know of anyone that does _______.  Chances are you will find someone who knows someone who knows about what you are working on.  You have the ability to get some wonderful information simply by reaching out to the people you interact with everyday.
  • Find people doing what you want to do and see if you can pick their brain for information.  When I began looking for information about life coaching, I realized my best friend knew not one, but two coaches that were willing to chat with me about what I wanted to do.  I also “cold-called” a coach in the area that I was moving to, to see if she was willing to give me some information about how she got started.  Turns out, there are more people out there willing to help you…all you have to do is ask!
  • Don’t just ask one person.  This has been paramount for me.  The first life coach I contacted for information actually put a little damper on my joy as she expressed her frustration with her work.  While I was glad she was sharing both the up and the down sides to life coaching, I felt she was more discouraging than anything, but I didn’t let that stop me.  I spoke to another coach (who later became a good friend and client), who has been so helpful through the process. If you find a person that you don’t jive with, no worries, find someone else and just ask!
  • The Internet is full of great info.  There is a ton of information available online and while sometimes it can be a little overwhelming, if you follow your gut you will find exactly what you are looking for. You would be surprised how many bloggers, entrepreneurs, coaches, etc. are willing to offer resources on their websites for free.  You can find a ton of great stuff out there including worksheets, meditations, workbooks, guides, and good ‘ole helpful advice without spending a dime!
  • Hire a coach. You knew I was going to add this one right?  While life coaches don’t know everything, I have found that my clients find the right information, people, and resources they need as we move along in our work together with ease.  It seems that the more we talk about their bigger vision, the easier it becomes to manifest the very next step to take and that is the magic of following your inspiration to create the life of your dreams.  (And I’m not just saying to hire a coach because I am a coach, I am saying to think about it because it really is an amazing and fun journey to go from not knowing to knowing exactly what you are meant to do.

I am currently working on my own resources and programming to better serve my clients and could use your help.  I have put together a short survey and would love it if you would take a few minutes to complete it (anonymously of course).  The information you share will help me create the best resources to you in the coming months.  Thank you in advance for your time!

Click here to take survey