Lamisha Serf-Walls

Where’s Your Doodle Space?

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I am so happy to be back on the blog today after a much-needed and much enjoyed few days off.  In fact, just before taking a few days off for Thanksgiving, I had a discussion with my life coach about just how important it is to create space in order to relax, regroup, and allow the thoughts, ideas, and inspiration to flow.  My coach called this space my “margin”.  You know like the margins on a piece of paper.

Being a visual learner it seemed like a perfect analogy for what I was not doing very well.  Instead of allowing myself extra space to fill in with fun thoughts, ideas, and doodles, I have been writing on every single, teeny, tiny space that is provided.  And then after I have tired myself out with all the extra “stuff”, I find myself annoyed, tired, and frustrated that I am having a hard time filling it in with doodles.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/linderesa/7925910376/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/linderesa/7925910376/

Why can’t I write, doodle, and create beautiful things??? Umm, maybe it’s because I was filling my space with a bunch of filler stuff that just made me feel (momentarily) like I had completed some monumental task…(ahem-laundry?).  The truth is that while I felt for a moment like I had accomplished a great deal, I wasn’t allowing myself to have fun.  I wasn’t being playful or allowing myself to relax.  So, what better time to relax than when family is in town for a holiday?

I decided that during my Thanksgiving time off I was not going to worry about work, writing, or anything else that I felt needed to be done.  I was going to allow myself the time and space to just enjoy the time off.  Simply put-it was awesome!!!

Did I come up with some magical ideas to take my business to another level or come up with an amazing book idea?  Nope. I just enjoyed time with my family, watched a few holiday movies (which I LOVE), and I read a bit.  I slept, ate, and enjoyed life.  In fact, most of my 4 days off was my “margin” time and it was incredible.

And you want to hear something funny?  I tell my clients to do the exact same thing, yet as a coach it can be difficult to remember.

It’s easy to set an intention and go-go-go until it is done, but that can often lead to a quick burn-out.  Instead of living your dream like it’s a sprint, enjoy the marathon.  It’s not about how quickly you get this done, because you will only come up with something else to accomplish next.  Instead of focusing on the end result, focus on enjoying the path and watching it unfold.  If that means making space for your doodles and allowing yourself the time to be playful and fun, do it!  I promise you will feel happier, healthier, and more inspired than ever before and you might even move closer to your dreams in new and exciting ways.

Today I encourage you to put down your to-do list, turn off your phone, log out of your email, and follow your heart to create a bit of doodle space.  I assure you it is well worth your time, even if you find yourself just relaxing outdoors or reading a good book.  Allow your intuition to guide you as to how to fill it in and if you can, implement a bit of room in your schedule for magical surprises to pop up…ya never know when a new one will appear. 🙂
photo credit: Linderesa via photopin cc

Got Time?

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My, how quickly things change.  I went from being less than motivated to a fast and furious flurry of activity in a matter of 24 hours!  Not only was my inspiration sparked, but I was able to dig in and get busy on my list of things to be done and boy did it feel great…that is until time began to feel restrictive.Time

I know I am not alone in this.  It seems over the years we have spent more time adding things to our schedule because we just want to do it all right now!  I am very guilty of that being a “yes” person and all.  I find myself quickly saying yes to new projects, responsibilities, events etc., only to find I am a bit stressed at the thought of doing it all.  Especially if some of those things don’t necessarily line up with what I want for the moment.

It seems the more we pack our schedule full of “stuff”, the less time we have for doing the things we love.  For exploring new ventures or taking time for our dreams.  In fact, the second highest answer I got for why people aren’t living the life of their dreams is that they don’t have the time…or better yet they can’t find it.

Time is not meant to be found.  You can’t go looking in nooks and crannies of the sofa for more time to do something.  It’s not exactly how that works.  I have heard the saying “carve out the time” as if you were carving a pumpkin.  It sounds a bit labor intensive to me, but it is how we live these days.

Like lack of money, lack of time for some people is a major challenge when it comes to moving forward with their dreams.  Some people feel that they have so many responsibilities that it might be selfish to take time away from those things to do something that they want to do.  While I understand where those thoughts might come from, I respectfully disagree.

I think it is much more harmful for us to not do the things we love and the things that are important for us.  I decided to follow my dreams for a variety of reasons, but one of them was so I could teach my son that he can and should do it too.  Whatever he decides is his life’s calling and passion, he should find a way to do that.  Does it mean I have to “find time” to do it?

Not exactly.

Here are a few tips in making time for your dreams.  Some of these are things I implement and others I have taken from working with various clients.

  • Sent an intention to do things you love to do, even if you don’t specifically plan for this time, the intention itself can open doors to more time
  • Get a clear vision of what you would do with the given time.  If you don’t know what you would do with it, chances are you aren’t going to be able to make time.
  • Be okay saying “No” sometimes.  I know this is a big one for me.  Saying “No” to things that don’t resonate with you or that don’t add value to your life is not only ok to do, but it is a must if you are going to be moving forward with your dreams.  Remember you can’t just dig up a bunch of free time.
  • Say “Yes” to your dreams.  This is a big one too.  Know that your dreams are important to you.  Feel the pull and the inspiration to do them.  Allow that pull to grab you and take you where it may because it just might create the exact amount of time you need to do it.
  • Hire a coach.  Working through some of the other challenges that may hold you back can help you see where you can make the time to do the things you love.
  • Take note of what you are doing with your time.  Are you spending a ton of time on Facebook and other social media sites that can suck the life right out of you? Perhaps you want to try a bit of 15-Minute Magic to help limit your social media time.
  • Ask yourself what you want to do often.  I know there are many of us that don’t necessarily want to go to work everyday, but if that is true, take a small step forward to change that.  Being mindful of what you really want to do as opposed to doing things because you have to do them can make all the difference in the world.
  • Spend some time away to visualize, dream big, and immerse yourself in inspirational surroundings.  This gives your mind a break and allows you to loosely focus on your goals.  You can often allow that lovely, easy, inspired feeling to carry you back to your daily life and you might find that you are more able to let some things go.
  • Hire help.  In addition to hiring a coach, you might think about hiring a babysitter, a maid, or someone else to come in and assist you every now and again to provide you the uninterrupted time you need to follow through with your inspired action.

The biggest thing to remember here is to take responsibility for your dreams.  Give them a chance to grow into something truly beautiful for you.  I always say we dream for a reason and that reason is not to make us feel badly about our circumstances.  Our dreams are the precursor to change in our lives.  They cause us to make some much-needed changes, to think outside the box, and to enjoy this thing called life.

Don’t allow your dreams to lie dormant anymore.  No more excuses about why you can’t do it, because you most certainly can and once you make that declaration, watch as the pieces, signs, contacts, money, time, and everything else you may need begin to fall into place.

What are you waiting for???

Missing Link-Imagination

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I recently took a poll of my Facebook friends to find out what it was exactly that they felt they needed to tackle their ‘ultimate dream’.  I wanted to find out what my potential clients are struggling with so I can create more resources, programs, and content to assist them.  The responses were interesting to say the least because what they were lacking falls into one of three categories: resources (time, money, space), belief in self (courage, confidence), or knowing where to start.  I knew as soon as I read their comments that I was on to something because these were many of the things I struggled with in the last 2 years as I contemplated how I was going to begin my life coaching business.

While all of the responses fell into one of the three categories, most people said the lack of time, money, or space to create their ‘ultimate dream’, was the thing they were missing.  This isn’t all that surprising when you figure how many people are juggling a multitude of responsibilities and are simply trying to keep up with their busy schedules.  From what I gathered, a lot of the people who responded in this way had some idea of how to couragemake their dream a reality, but they only saw one way to make it happen.

Many of the responders also said that they were lacking the courage and confidence to make it happen in addition to the resources.  So before even setting out to achieve their ultimate dream, they were felt like they just couldn’t do it.  It seemed just too big to tackle right now.  Interesting…

The last response came from people not really knowing how to begin.  These are people who know what they want to do, but just haven’t put anything into action to find a way to make it happen.  These may be people who feel like their dream is so far out of reality, they can’t even fathom how to make it happen.  In fact, they may not even allow themselves to think about it too much because it is that far out.

So what do all these people have in common?  They are all using their logic to get them from point A to point B.  They are using their memories, knowledge, current reality, and logical thinking in order to figure out how to make their dreams come true and if they come up against a roadblock, many people tend to give up.  I think I have a better way of doing this.  imagination-11

Instead of looking at the reality of your situation (the responsibilities, bills to pay, kids to care for, schedules to keep up with, the fact that you have never had enough money to travel, or you are too afraid to fail etc.) and using that to find the most realistic way of doing things, I encourage you to use your imagination. Out of the box thinking allows you to be open to other possibilities of how your dream may come to fruition.  Instead of seeing a straight and narrow path to your goal or dream, you see a beautiful web of possibilities with fun stuff all along the way!  It’s there that you begin to feel the magic.

When you tap into your imagination and follow what feels good and right for you, the journey is enjoyable too.  You aren’t constantly taking score of where you are in relationship to where you want to be, but instead are enjoying the little nuggets along the way.  One piece leads to the next and to the next and before you know it you have unlocked your potential to create the ultimate dream regardless of what that entails.

There are an infinite number of possibilities to creating the life of your dreams and by hanging onto the one most likely way (in your mind), you are blocking out all the rest.  The only true limitation in achieving the life of your dreams, is the illusion you can’t do it, don’t have the means, or that it’s just too good for you, because the truth is you can have all you need.

Are you ready?

A Lesson In Working Smarter, Not Harder

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Life has a way of getting pretty busy.  When you have a full-time work, freelance work, and a family to care for losing one hour like we did this weekend can seem like a disaster waiting to happen.  My full-time work is picking up (not by my choice) and my freelance work is also increasing (to my delight), as well as a recent increase in home-improvement tasks for our home is making for a somewhat hectic schedule…until now.

I have always been a list maker and great and delegating tasks, but when it comes to my own work, I can sometimes find myself flailing to keep up.  But I have since decided it is time for me to work smarter and not harder.  The biggest issue I have found recently was trying to figure out what to do with my 8 hrs of “free” time in the mornings each week.  I tried balancing it between home responsibilities and freelance work, however the home responsibilities usually won out.  The writing work would get done on lunch breaks and a few hours before bed making for a very long day and less sleep.  Two things I don’t enjoy all that much.  And since I will be adding other personal writing to my schedule (writing my first children’s book series, in addition to starting a life coaching business down the road, I figured it is best if I learn to manage my time a bit more effectively now, rather than later.

What I did?

I decided what items I needed to keep in my schedule.  One was my lunch break.  I have been having “working” lunches far too much and have missed out on several opportunities to get outside to take a walk which is causing some issue with my exercise routine (because now it is non-existent).  So I am taking my lunch breaks back.  I also found that at night-time after getting the little one to bed, the last thing I want to do is work for an additional 2 hours.  So I am taking that time back as well and allowing myself some added reading time in addition to potentially getting to bed earlier.  So when will I be doing my writing work?  In the morning.

I haven’t always been a morning person, but since my full-time job schedule has changed I have 2 days a week where I don’t begin work until 11 am providing me with an added 3 hours to do other things.  The “other things” have mostly been house related, but I am thinking that time might better be used with writing work especially when I have several projects to finish.  So, I am dedicating my mornings to whatever writing work I have and making it a point not to work on writing projects at night.

Family time, house projects, and other home related tasks will be set for the weekends.  While we do get some family time in the evenings, it isn’t nearly as much as we would like so we try to make the most of it on our weekends.  And since it isn’t fun to work 6-7 days a week, I am using the weekend as a break from writing.  Family is important to me and spending as much time with my partner and our son is something I don’t get to do nearly enough and I am not going to sacrifice that precious time for my work.

So, my new schedule begins this week.  I will provide an update next week to let you know the differences I have found not only in my efficiency, but also my stress levels.  I am optimistic to say the least.  I think this new plan will work out great and I will not only be more focused, but more relaxed and more healthy overall.

What do you do to keep a balanced home/work life?

Make Room For Your Dreams

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I read a post last night from a friend regarding her experience of the “stuff” that is weighing her down and her intentions of letting it go.  It reminded me of something I have been thinking about for a few weeks now, as I have been making attempts to also clear out the old, to make room for the new (whatever that entails).

Have you ever heard the saying that when you open your hand to let go, it is also open to receive?  It can also be said that you must first let go of a little bit of your control to allow your dreams to manifest.  I think the same goes for making space, both literally and mentally, for your dreams to come true.  We often forget that in order to bring something new into our lives, we have to let go of the things that no longer serve us, be it behaviors, beliefs, or tangible objects that are blocking our ability to receive the resources we need to move forward.  Sometimes those beliefs, objects, or behaviors are all that we know and letting go of what we have always known for something that we can’t yet see is a scary venture.  I know, I have been there before.

The truth is our dreams are not guaranteed, but then again you could say that about anything in life.  The best we can do is have faith in ourselves and trust that we are not traveling this path by chance.  We are instead making a choice to live a life full of experiences, adventure and fulfilling our deepest desires and many times we must be willing to walk into the unknown to do it and sometimes that means letting go of the things that no longer serve your current reality to make room for the life you dream of.

I have always been much better at letting go of physical things than I am with letting go of my control (or perceived control as it may be).  I often find myself at the end of each season looking into my closet and donating items that no longer fit or things I haven’t worn in over a year.  I would much rather have the added space than the item I won’t use again.  When it comes to letting go of my expectations of myself or the beliefs I hold true about how my dreams should manifest, I am a bit more reluctant to let go.  Maybe it is because I am such a planner and when I get set on one plan, I begin to limit other possibilities.  Recently I have been thinking of what “stuff” I might need to let go of in order to receive the flow of energy, resources, and other contacts I need in order to make my dreams come true.

How can I make room for my dreams?

The first thing that comes to mind is time.  I hear people talking (myself included) about the lack of time they have, when really it is more about how you allocate your time.  Do you spend it doing things that will help benefit your dreams and goals or do you use it doing things that you feel you have to do?  Why not free up some time to do the things that will bring you closer to your dreams, no matter what it is?  For me this includes writing almost everyday.  I could become a much better writer if I committed to writing a little bit everyday and I could make the time if I got up only 30 minutes earlier each day.

Another thing I could do is clear out the belief that my dreams have to manifest based on the exact plan I have come up with.  My plan stems from what I believe is most feasible and realistic in achieving my dreams.  It is how I have come to know the world and my own abilities within it.  I know that by doing this I am not allowing the other innumerable possibilities to be an option.  My focus is so set on how I want it to happen, that I am quite possibly missing signs that could lead me in a direction I haven’t thought about.  I am by no means an expert in all the wonderful possibilities that my dreams could manifest, so how can I believe that there is only one way to do it?

I can’t.

I must be able to let go of the notion that I have it all planned out.  Sometimes, (actually most times) I don’t have the only way to do something and I frequently don’t even know the best way to do things.  When I let go of the idea that there is only one way to create my dreams, many more options present themselves.  The key is letting go and having faith that my dreams will come to fruition even if it isn’t the way I thought it would.  If I continue to believe in myself and my abilities and open my hands to release a bit of my control, my energy is then free to flow to the other possibilities that come my way.

So how can you make room for your dreams?  Do your dreams require you to pare down your belongings so you can travel the world for a year?  Maybe you want to start that business you have always wanted, but it means you have to free up some time, money, and space for that business to come alive.  Whatever dreams you have, what can you do to make room for them?