Lamisha Serf-Walls

A Little About Me and Why I Do What I Do

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When I was younger I remember growing up watching my mother struggle to take care of myself, my sister, and my little brother.  At the time I knew it was hard, but I had no idea how strong she had to be to get through the many trials and tribulations she did until I was much older.

I remember watching her work whatever job she needed to in order to make ends meet and no matter how tough it got, she always found a way.  I became a bit of a worrier during those years.  Sad that my mom had to work as hard as she did and always wondering what I could do to help out.  It was then I became an avid problem-solver.  I can remember watching my mom want something bigger and better for herself and for my siblings and I. The something bigger was to pursue a career in the medical field.

Several times she attempted to go back to school, but as you can imagine, juggling kids, full-time work, and life all on your own can be tough.  There never seemed to be enough time or money to do what she had always dreamt of doing, yet she didn’t stop.

Each time she tried the same things stopped her from moving forward.  Simply put things just got too hard.  She had to let go of her dream because her reality was calling to her so loud she couldn’t ignore it.  It’s hard to ignore bills, multiple jobs, and children.

As I watched this play out, I decided the answer would be for me to go to college, get a degree, and get a good job.  I didn’t even know what that meant, but I suppose as long as I had enough money to pay the bills and could care for myself that is what mattered most.

I never thought about what my passion was or even what I would really like to do.  In fact, it wasn’t until I had changed my major to Exercise Science with an emphasis in Fitness did I see how a person could have such passion for their field.  I had an instructor who loved fitness.  She was more than your typical fitness enthusiast, she was a fitness educator.  She loved her job and it showed when she spoke.  Her face would light up, her eyes would twinkle, and she would be full of so much energy I couldn’t help but think maybe she had too much caffeine.  Turns out she just really loved what she did.

I finally decided to drop the emphasis part of my degree, because I simply didn’t feel the same passion as my instructor.  In fact, the day I told her that I didn’t love it as much as she did, I think she was a little taken back.  While surprised she understood that I didn’t feel the same way about her beloved career, but when asked what I was truly passionate about, I didn’t have an answer.  And instead of trying to figure it out, I simply finished the program I was in without the emphasis and graduated on time.  Soon after I found an administrative assistant position with a great company which would become the first “just a job” with many more to follow.

Meanwhile, my mom made her way back to school.  She moved through her nursing program and the challenges it presented.  I watched as she worked a full-time job and studied all while taking care of my little brother who was still at home.

She worked hard.  She worked a lot.  But a few years ago she finally achieved her dream of becoming a Registered Nurse and enjoys each and every patient she has because this is her passion.  This is her calling.

As for me, I realized after a few too many “just a jobs” that the little part of me that was interested by life coaching in college (while I was listening to a lecture for my exercise instructor class) was really the beginning of knowing what my calling would be.

Through all of that here is what I learned:

  • I learned that we each have a passion and a purpose, something that really gets us excited about life and whatever that thing is for you, is what you should be doing.
  • I learned that it is never too late to do what you want to do in this world.  Life may be short, but this very moment is the most time you will ever have to accomplish your dreams.  So start now.
  • I learned that job=money and passion=purpose and that if you follow your heart, the money will come.
  • I learned that no matter how big, how crazy, how wild, or how unattainable a dream may seem it is ALWAYS possible.  You just have to take the first tiny step and watch how the Universe supports you in your plight.
  • And finally, I learned that no matter who you are, where you came from, or how stuck you may feel in your current reality, there is always a way to make your dreams a reality.

And because of all of those things I learned, I am living a life I once dreamt, helping you to do the same and for me that is a dream come true.

You know who I really love to help?  Women who may fall into the “just a job” rut and are looking to find work that they truly enjoy.  Work that makes them smile, gives them purpose, and energizes them because it is the work they were meant to do.  I also love working with women who are going through one of life’s big transitions, you know the ones that leave you asking the question: So what’s next?  Whether you are newly retired, an empty-nester, or you just feel like your life is in a rut, I can help you get unstuck and on your way to making the rest of your life, the BEST of your life.

Do you want to know more about how we can work together?  Contact me to sign-up for your free coaching session.  I am so ready to help you create an amazing life with passion and purpose!

Inspiration From Monsters and Cavemen…Who Knew?!

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Generally my family and I implement “family movie night” at least once a week as a way to relax and regroup after a long week.  This week we had a bit of a movie marathon and watched Monster University and The Croods, both of which I highly recommend (especially if you have children).  For the most part, family movie night is a chance to get away from whatever may be on my mind from the week before, yet there are times when the movies hit a chord within me so strongly that it sends my mind into a flutter of inspiration.

This Saturday was one of those nights.

Inspiration #1

While watching Monster University I was inspired by the message that we can each use our unique gifts and perspectives to do similar work and it is our unique experiences that make that work not only different, but amazing.

What does that really mean?

Regardless of how many people we feel are doing exactly the same thing that we want to do (only in our mind much better), we each bring our own set of talents, gifts, and experiences to the table.  No one else is better or worse than us, they are just different and different is ok.  In fact, it’s better than ok, it’s great!  Different means we can extend our reach to a group of people others can’t reach simply because of who we are.

This comes up a lot with my clients.  So many people, (myself included) view what other people are doing in the same genre as ourselves as doing it bigger and better that we find ourselves comparing apples to oranges.  Sure you can have two writers who have a similar style, but the truth is each is unique and amazing in their own way.  The same goes for two business owners, coaches, stylists, or whatever your dream might entail. Don’t let the success of another put a damper on your amazing gift.

YOU have a gift that can reach people that the other person can’t, so stand in your power and celebrate the wonderful things you bring to the table!

So the next time you start questioning your dream because you feel like you couldn’t possibly live up to someone you believe is doing it better, remember the little lesson from Monster University.  Better yet, watch the movie and see if you experience the same inspiration I did.

Inspiration #2

I expected the next movie to be more entertaining than insightful, but I couldn’t help but notice some interesting themes.

The first theme is one I have heard and dealt with several times in my lifetime.  Fear of the unknown.  When we fear what we do not know and allow it to stop us from stepping outside of our comfort zone, we become caged birds (or in this case caged cavemen).  We become too fearful of taking risks that we don’t really live and experience the precious gift of life.

One quote that stood out to me came from the teenage daughter as she was talking about her dad’s philosophy on staying safe:

“That wasn’t living!  That was just…not dying!  There’s a difference!”

How many of us have lived in this way before?  Merely surviving a life that may be uncomfortable and not all that great, but too fearful of what could go wrong in the future to take that step to do something bigger.

Surviving isn’t thriving.  Living a life with your dreams tucked down in your soul never to see the light of day isn’t living life to it’s fullest and I assure you it is not what you were given this precious time to do.

You were meant to love life, explore, and experience it.  Feel it, devour the juicy tidbits of amazingness.  To identify your gifts and share them with the world.  You were meant to be happy!  So if you aren’t happy right now, is it because you are fearful of stepping outside your comfort zone?  Fearful that the next thing might be worse than now?

What if it isn’t?  What if it is bigger, better, and more amazing than you ever dreamed?  Would one single, scarey step be worth it?

Another theme that came up was the idea of “following the light to tomorrow”.  Essentially it means to just keep going.Light

When things get tough as they sometimes do, remembering your dreams and why you started to begin with can help you just keep going.  Continue moving forward toward the light of tomorrow with your dreams alive and you can do anything.  Just keep going.

So, if you aren’t living the life of your dreams and you are too worried about others doing something better than you, are you ready to take the step to move forward?  Ready to live your gifts and share them with the world? Ready to do more that just merely survive?

If so, contact me to find out more information on getting ready to make 2014 the best year yet!  I want to offer you a chance to get a head start on your dreams and to make some big things happen next year.  If you are ready, I have a special treat for you!!! Send me an email today to find out more information on your FREE session and if you choose to work with me after our free session and get started this month, I am offering packages at a discounted rate (to go along with my gratitude and giving theme).  You don’t want to miss this!!!

Got Time?

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My, how quickly things change.  I went from being less than motivated to a fast and furious flurry of activity in a matter of 24 hours!  Not only was my inspiration sparked, but I was able to dig in and get busy on my list of things to be done and boy did it feel great…that is until time began to feel restrictive.Time

I know I am not alone in this.  It seems over the years we have spent more time adding things to our schedule because we just want to do it all right now!  I am very guilty of that being a “yes” person and all.  I find myself quickly saying yes to new projects, responsibilities, events etc., only to find I am a bit stressed at the thought of doing it all.  Especially if some of those things don’t necessarily line up with what I want for the moment.

It seems the more we pack our schedule full of “stuff”, the less time we have for doing the things we love.  For exploring new ventures or taking time for our dreams.  In fact, the second highest answer I got for why people aren’t living the life of their dreams is that they don’t have the time…or better yet they can’t find it.

Time is not meant to be found.  You can’t go looking in nooks and crannies of the sofa for more time to do something.  It’s not exactly how that works.  I have heard the saying “carve out the time” as if you were carving a pumpkin.  It sounds a bit labor intensive to me, but it is how we live these days.

Like lack of money, lack of time for some people is a major challenge when it comes to moving forward with their dreams.  Some people feel that they have so many responsibilities that it might be selfish to take time away from those things to do something that they want to do.  While I understand where those thoughts might come from, I respectfully disagree.

I think it is much more harmful for us to not do the things we love and the things that are important for us.  I decided to follow my dreams for a variety of reasons, but one of them was so I could teach my son that he can and should do it too.  Whatever he decides is his life’s calling and passion, he should find a way to do that.  Does it mean I have to “find time” to do it?

Not exactly.

Here are a few tips in making time for your dreams.  Some of these are things I implement and others I have taken from working with various clients.

  • Sent an intention to do things you love to do, even if you don’t specifically plan for this time, the intention itself can open doors to more time
  • Get a clear vision of what you would do with the given time.  If you don’t know what you would do with it, chances are you aren’t going to be able to make time.
  • Be okay saying “No” sometimes.  I know this is a big one for me.  Saying “No” to things that don’t resonate with you or that don’t add value to your life is not only ok to do, but it is a must if you are going to be moving forward with your dreams.  Remember you can’t just dig up a bunch of free time.
  • Say “Yes” to your dreams.  This is a big one too.  Know that your dreams are important to you.  Feel the pull and the inspiration to do them.  Allow that pull to grab you and take you where it may because it just might create the exact amount of time you need to do it.
  • Hire a coach.  Working through some of the other challenges that may hold you back can help you see where you can make the time to do the things you love.
  • Take note of what you are doing with your time.  Are you spending a ton of time on Facebook and other social media sites that can suck the life right out of you? Perhaps you want to try a bit of 15-Minute Magic to help limit your social media time.
  • Ask yourself what you want to do often.  I know there are many of us that don’t necessarily want to go to work everyday, but if that is true, take a small step forward to change that.  Being mindful of what you really want to do as opposed to doing things because you have to do them can make all the difference in the world.
  • Spend some time away to visualize, dream big, and immerse yourself in inspirational surroundings.  This gives your mind a break and allows you to loosely focus on your goals.  You can often allow that lovely, easy, inspired feeling to carry you back to your daily life and you might find that you are more able to let some things go.
  • Hire help.  In addition to hiring a coach, you might think about hiring a babysitter, a maid, or someone else to come in and assist you every now and again to provide you the uninterrupted time you need to follow through with your inspired action.

The biggest thing to remember here is to take responsibility for your dreams.  Give them a chance to grow into something truly beautiful for you.  I always say we dream for a reason and that reason is not to make us feel badly about our circumstances.  Our dreams are the precursor to change in our lives.  They cause us to make some much-needed changes, to think outside the box, and to enjoy this thing called life.

Don’t allow your dreams to lie dormant anymore.  No more excuses about why you can’t do it, because you most certainly can and once you make that declaration, watch as the pieces, signs, contacts, money, time, and everything else you may need begin to fall into place.

What are you waiting for???