Lamisha Serf-Walls

Bold Declarations to the Universe & Potential Aftermath

by

As you know last week I made some pretty bold declarations about not having a Plan B.  Well, as I am quickly finding, when you make big, bold declarations to the Universe, there can be a bit of an aftermath effect that comes.  It’s a recent theme I am seeing not only with myself, but with my clients as well.  Click the link below to find out what I am talking about and let me know, have you experienced something similar?  If so, how did you handle it?

 

P.S.

If you made a recent declaration to get your business into brilliant shape in a heart-centered way, then I encourage you to check out the 90 Days to Biz Brilliance group coaching program.  This is an opportunity to connect, share, and grow your business with other heart-centered women who know what it’s like to be where you are.  There is also still time to get signed up for the bonus self-study program Invest in Yourself before it is available for purchase.  Are you ready?

The Big, Ugly, Green-Eyed Monster

by

We have all had this experience at one time or another right?  You have an amazing dream, you work hard for it, you have a passion that runs deep, yet you keep running up against brick walls and speed bumps.  And then as you open your Facebook page to drown your sorrows in some mindless news feed scrolling, you see the amazing things everyone else is doing. (What?!)

You see business posts about how someone just made a bajillion dollars within their very first day of launching a new program.  Someone else just had a baby and is now rockin’ a beach body with 6-pack abs and don’t get me started on the other people taking amazing vacations, getting job promotions, and landing free tickets to their favorite show.  All the while you feel like pulling your hair out because you can’t get your website to look right, your clients won’t call you back, and your dog just puked on the rug.  (Insert a string of expletives here.)

You wonder how it can be so easy for everyone else and not for you.  You question what you are doing wrong and as shallow as it might sound, you want what they have…and you want it yesterday!

Can I tell you a secret?envy

You are not alone.  Everyone has had their own experience with the big, ugly, green-eyed monster, especially when things feel like they are taking a turn for the worst. I’ve been there and the reason I am writing this post now, is because I found my own green-eyed monster poking it’s ugly head out a bit recently and I don’t like it.

Step one in dealing with the monster is recognizing it.  Step two is realizing that everyone has their own version and you are not alone.  Step three, dismantle it.

But how?

I think we all know that the face we put on Facebook and other social media platforms isn’t always 100% accurate right?  I mean, sure people post their best statuses and best pictures during times when things are going well, but that doesn’t accurately depict what is really going on in their lives.  And even if their lives are all shiny diamonds and gorgeous rainbows, there really is no reason to compare.

Take your big dream for example.  It’s YOURS.  It’s unique, exciting, and dipped in all your amazing-ness because it is your dream, not someone elses.  Their path to success isn’t going to be the same for you and let’s be honest, how they define success might not be the same either.  For one person success is being able to live a minimalist lifestyle with their family at home while another is being able to travel the world on a whim.  Your dreams, your goals, your success, are all yours.  You get to dictate what it looks like, how it feels, and what that means to you.

That sounds all fine and good but when it feels like things are going nowhere and your dreams have grown stagnant, their lives sound really good.  So what about that?

In my own experience (just this past week), I have had to identify where the green-eyed monster was coming from.  Is it really about what they have or is it a lack that you feel regardless of the comparison?  Is it because they are so much further than you or are you worrying about something that has yet to come?

Understanding the core issue to envy is key, but it can be hard to pinpoint especially when you are in the throes of it.  Here are a few things to remember when dealing with your own big, ugly, green-eyed monster:

  • “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Theodore Roosevelt – This is by far one of my favorite quotes because it is so true.  We don’t know much about what other people have going on or what it took for them to get to where they are today.  It isn’t fair to you and your dreams to compare your progress, journey, or pain point to someone else.  Be easy with yourself and trust that things are working out exactly as they should.
  • Bring yourself back to this moment.- Every time we focus on a future (or past) moment in time, we are not allowing ourselves to truly be in this moment.  Envy is the same.  When we are looking at what others have and we don’t or when we are wishing, wanting, and desiring to be anywhere other than where we are, there is opportunity for a disconnect.  But, when we are in this moment and can accept it just as it is, then there is no comparison or room for envy.
  • Trust– A big part of making your dreams become a reality comes down to trust.  Trusting your intuition, your gift, and your path and reminding yourself that you will have all the things you need to make your dreams come true in due time.  There may be lessons to learn, people to meet, or opportunities to accept that will lead you to the very next step and being envious how it worked out for someone else is a waste of energy.  Trust the process.
  • Celebrate the success of others– I understand sometimes the last thing you want to do is celebrate the success of another especially when you are struggling with your own dreams, but what if seeing the success of others is somehow letting you know that not only is success possible, but that yours is on the horizon.  What if that could provide a bit of inspiration instead of envy for you to keep going?  Wouldn’t that be something?  Instead of wallowing in the world of envy, you could be congratulating and celebrating with others as you trust that your own success will come when the time is right.

We have all experienced our own version of the green-eyed monster, so if you find yourself feeling a bit envious, just be easy with yourself.  Your time will come and your journey will be amazing, in its own way.  For now, just relax, regroup, trust the process, and remember why your dream is so important to begin with.  And if all else fails, stay off of social media sites, chances are you could use a little unplugged time anyways.

**February is the month for love or it could be your month to get started on your big dreams.  Sign up for my newsletter to be added to my VIP list so you are the first to find out about free calls and new group coaching I will be launching very soon.  And if you have been thinking about leaping into the life of your dreams and want some help on your journey, contact me to schedule a consultation.  I would love to find out more about how I can help you make 2014 your best year yet!**

So Many Ideas…Where To Begin?

by

In the past few weeks I have had several conversations with potential clients about their dreams and the multitude of ideas they have flowing through their minds at any given moment.  With so many ideas and so much creativity, they are finding themselves paralyzed and unsure of what to tackle first.  It is sort of like seeing your to-do list with 15 different things on it and not really knowing where to begin, so you just don’t do anything.

Have you been there before?

I think it is something that happens to many of us when overwhelm sets in.  Just taking that first step can be scary and is enough to cause you to ignore it and procrastinate even more.

So where do you start?

I find it much easier to start with the small stuff and use that to build momentum for the bigger things.

But what if it all feels like ‘big stuff’?

That is a valid question considering when we first set out to accomplish our dreams, they can often feel like huge mountains to get over, but if you can take a step back for a moment and look at the bigger picture, you might be able to make out a tiny first step.  If you still are having trouble, hiring a coach or chatting with someone about your ideas can help put your thoughts to rest a bit more so you can take the first step.smallsteps

The truth is, what you do in that first step matters less than the fact that you just begin.  When I took the leap to begin my coaching practice, my early first steps entailed a ton of research.  I looked at coaching programs, various coaches, credentials, coaching philosophies, and even contacted two coaches to talk to them about the work they do.  Some of my other small steps included just writing down all of my ideas, coming up with a name for my website, and getting a bare bones website up and running.  Some of those steps took mere moments to complete while others took upwards of a week or more, but every time I sat down to work on it, I felt like I was making progress and that led to more momentum.

Still need help deciding what those first steps might be?  Check out the examples below.

  • You want to start a website, but are unsure of how to set it up or if there will be any interest.  Small step:  Set up a FB page first.  It’s easy to do and you can build your community there before you launch your site.
  • You have some artwork, crafts, or handmade jewelry that you want to sell, but the idea of setting up an Etsy account makes you break into a cold sweat.  Small step: Find a local craft fair to sell your stuff through or talk to your friends and family members about what you are making. You can also set up a FB page for your crafts and sell it that way.
  • You want to become a yoga instructor, write about yoga, and open your own yoga/meditation center, but you aren’t sure about how the yoga training works, how much it costs, and are overwhelmed with the idea of doing it all and question whether you can.  Small Step: Ask one of your yoga instructors some questions about their training experience and how they did it.  Pick their brain regarding some of your ideas and utilize the vast amount of experience and info they can provide to you.

The truth is no matter how many dreams/goals you have accomplished, there are always going to be more, so take it step-by-step and start small.  And if you find yourself at a loss for where to begin and what to do to get started, feel free to set up an introductory coaching session with me.  I am happy to chat with you about untangling the web of ideas you have in your head that might be keeping your paralyzed.  In fact, I love helping clients break their big, bold dreams into bite size steps that result in a big win!  Let me help you do the same.

If you are interested in what coaching can do for you please sign up for your introductory session here.  Also, don’t forget that my very Inspired Giveaway will be ending TOMORROW so head over here to sign up for your chance to win a copy of Inspired & Unstoppable by Tama Kieves.

 

 

Living My Dream

by

Wow what a difference a year makes!  Today is officially the one year anniversary for my blog.  It started as a past-time to keep me inspired and engaged while I waited for the pieces to fall into place for my ultimate dream career.  When I began I didn’t think that a year in I would have launched my business and be on my way to helping others follow their hearts to do the same.  It’s been a pretty amazing journey and looking back I can see how creating this blog was the single step that built the momentum for the rest of it to fall into place.

realityWhen I began, I had this preconceived notion of how my dream would take shape.  In my mind the path was logical, realistic, but boy did it feel hard.  I thought that was how it was supposed to be.  You always hear people talking about working hard, never giving up, and making sacrifices to live the life of their dreams, so I thought sure enough I was on the right path.  The only problem was that the more I wrote, the more my desire grew.  I wanted to feel like I was making progress, right now.  I couldn’t figure out how to reconcile my passion with the idea that I had to save a large sum of money, invest 6 months of my time to do something that I have always been doing.  Wasn’t the realistic way the only way?  In April, I realized the realistic way is only one way to make something happen.

It was then that I took a leap of faith.  By simply declaring (to myself) that I was going to create my own coaching model utilizing my experience, Masters in Psychology, and the many tools I have learned along the way, I took the seemingly small step that helped me create what I have today.  Did I know everything at that moment? Of course not.  But I set the intention and the flood gates of ideas opened and the pieces fell into place.  Before I knew it I had created my coaching model and began working with two guinea pig clients who have made some incredible progress!

Am I still learning?  Yes and boy am I learning a lot!  I am learning the ins and outs of business.  I am learning how to better serve my clients and how to grow into this new dream that I held so close to my heart for over a decade.

So what held me back all these years?  I was bound by reality.  Like the caged bird who knows only how to live, breathe, and survive behind bars, I allowed myself to be contained in the logical world.  I thought everyone worked a job they hated just to make ends meet and that only the lucky/rich/free people were able to do the things they wanted to simply because they loved it.  For many years my actions were driven by the need to fulfill my responsibilities in life.  Bills, work, and taking care of my family were all reasons I succumbed to the idea that I couldn’t live with my head in the clouds any longer.

I was wrong.  dream life

Today, one year into this blogging journey and only a few months into my business, I am excited for what the future holds.  I am eager to help clients break free from their perceived limitations in time, money, space, etc. so they too can feel the freedom of living a life of passion while still taking care of all the other stuff too!  You can have it all!  The time, the joy, the family, the money, the career that sets your soul on fire…all of it!  All it takes is one little step forward to get the momentum going.  And I can tell you from where I stand in my own journey, it is an incredible feeling to be living my dream and while I am still growing, evolving, and learning, I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Don’t wait another minute to live the life you were meant to live, to use the gifts you have to give to the world, and to do what makes you happy.  Life is too short to put your happiness off for another moment.

I would be honored to help you move along your journey to living the life you once dreamt.  Interested in working with me and taking advantage of the incredible pay what you can deal from yesterday?  Send me an email at lamisha@lifeoncedreamt.com or contact me here to get a free 30 minute coaching session to get started.  I promise you won’t be sorry you did.

Intention and Small Actions=Progress

by

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about how quickly things have happened in terms of my dream of becoming a life coach.  Just last night as I worked on getting my new Facebook page up and running, I remembered a time not too long ago when this was just a dream.  My coaching business was a thought, a hope, a desire that felt like it was off in the distance somewhere.  It wasn’t until I took the leap of faith, that it all became real.

In an instant.  universe

I have seen this phenomenon happen over and over again.  It seems that when we make a choice to do something and put even the smallest action into it, things seem to unfold almost magically.  The intention and thought have a way of creating a bit of momentum and even the smallest step adds just enough energy to allow everything to align and progress is made.  Add a little more action and the pieces continually fall into place.

Is this a formula for guaranteed success?  Not necessarily.  There are some things that require more intention, a bit more action, and what seems like a lot of momentum…while you are in it.  I can tell you there have been many times when I feel like I am standing still in terms of progress and then when I look back on it, I realize I have come much further than I realized.  Sometimes you just have to be easy about your dreams.

What I find interesting is how often we hear people talking about setting a goal, creating an action plan, working the action plan, working hard, etc. in order to reach your goals.  I think this method works for some people, but I find myself taking score of what I have yet to accomplish.  I am constantly looking at if I have arrived in order to move on and if I haven’t, I tend to get discouraged.

I find that setting an intention to do, be, or have something sets the energetic wheels in motion and when you follow your inspiration to the next step because it just feels right, there lies another opportunity for progress.  Continue to follow that feeling and you will find yourself much further than you ever thought you could be.

Sometimes you don’t need a step-by-step map of how to get to your dream.  With a vision, an open mind, and a little action, you can trust that your intuition and inspiration will lead you to the very next step.  And if you aren’t sure where to start, just take a tiny step and watch as your path is illuminated little-by-little.

What can you do today to get you to the very next step?  Share in the comments below, I would love to hear your intentions!