Lamisha Serf-Walls

Letter To My Future Self 2013

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I have a confession to make.  I had the best intentions to get this letter completed in the first or second week of the year, but time got away from me.  Life happened both at work and at home and things just got plain busy, however I made a commitment to myself (and to you) that I would write this letter and so I have chosen to share (and write) it here.  There is a part of me that believes it wasn’t pure lack of planning and busyness that caused me to wait, but maybe a deeper knowing in what I wanted to say in the letter had to brew awhile before it was ready.  Well, ready or not, here it is…

Dear Lamisha,

When I look at the woman standing before me I am amazed.  Not only in the confidence you exude, but also the pure peace that emanates from your being.  The woman I knew in 2012 is long gone and a newer, more peaceful and centered woman stands before me, transformed.  I wish I could tell you that this transformation happened overnight, but you know better than that.  This transformation has taken place in much the same way all changes take place.  Step-by-step.  But it all started with your theme of the year.  Do you remember?  To simply be open.  To some it is vague, but for you it was a true lesson and the starting point of this transformation.

You see, by your willingness to be open to what life, the Universe, God, etc. has to offer and letting go of your control where you needed to, you welcomed in a trust you have never known before.  A trust that all is happening in the right time, for the right reasons, and this journey you are on is a wonderful adventure when you are open.  And it can be fun too!

Do you remember what your letter looked like for 2012?  Of course you do, it was cluttered with income amounts, possessions you wanted to have, and specific expectations that the old you wanted too much to control and yet very little on that list came to be and why is that?  Could it be you didn’t let go of the wheel enough to allow things to happen in their own time?  Possibly, or more likely it was all part of your path to get you here.  To the state of peace in allowing life to flow.

Please don’t think that ‘peace’ is your only accomplishment for this year, though it is your greatest, there are many other very exciting opportunities, situations, and adventures that you were open to.  Sure your blog following has grown, your book idea is no longer just an idea, your midnight hustle has developed into a more substantial income, and your life coach dream is taking flight, but even if all of that hadn’t happened and peace is all that was gained this year…it would be enough.  Because within peace lies the space to allow the magic of your dreams to come true.  And though I want to share with you every teeny, tiny, delightful morsel of your best year yet, and to warn you of some potential challenges, I will leave it to you to explore and enjoy.  Just know that as you move, evolve, and grow this year, you are transforming step-by-step into the peacefully grounded woman standing before me.

Enjoy the ride!

Do The (Midnight) Hustle

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Over the last few years I have come in contact with a handful of innovators looking to start (or recently started) their own businesses in various ways.  Some people were following their creative hearts, while others were simply looking for a way to be their own boss and spend more time with their families, but regardless of what these people were doing, one thing was common amongst them, the midnight hustle.

If you don’t know what that is let me explain.  The midnight hustle is the way many new business owners, creators, and innovators make their business dreams a reality.  Let’s face it, not many of us have the riches to simply quit our day jobs to follow our dreams without cultivating and growing our business on the side and by “on the side”, it likely means during the midnight hours when other people are sleeping, hence the name midnight hustle.  And with that midnight hustling often comes late nights, less sleep, hard work, and hopefully amazing inspiration to keep you moving toward your dreams so you can one day quit your day job and enjoy the fruits of your labor doing something that you truly enjoy.  And while I am far from quitting my day job, I am experiencing a bit of my own hustle as I reach beyond my comfort zone into new opportunities and new territory.  It’s exciting and terrifying all at the same time.

I have talked a little bit about my dream of starting my own life coaching business, but the truth is my dream isn’t to start the business per se, it is really to help people through my business.  I thought the path would be fairly straight forward, but I am finding that I may be taking a bit more of the scenic route as opposed to the straight shot as I go with the flow of life.  The programs I have found in the last year haven’t really touched me in the way that makes me think, “Yes this is the ONE!”, so I have been researching various programs in hopes to find the one that best fits my purpose and calling.  I think I have finally found it.  (YAY!) But, with it comes a pretty hefty price tag, one that is about double the price of the last program I was going to settle on.  So, it looks like the actual training may be put off longer than expected, but as you well know I am not one to sit around and do nothing and being the jack of many trades that I am, I am following an equally creative and exciting interest, writing.

The truth is I have always enjoyed writing but I have just recently begun to make some money from it and it is becoming a bit of a midnight hustle for me.  While I only have one regular gig right now, I am learning that the key to having one or many midnight hustles is balance and knowing your limit, both things I am working on right now.  I am very aware of the amount of time I have in my days (and nights) to complete writing projects and am working on a bit of a writing schedule that will allow me to continue to share my journey here on my blog (because I love it so much), and to still complete writing projects in a timely manner.  My hope is that my current midnight hustle will help support the training I need for life coaching and things will seamlessly flow with one another leading to (one day) quitting my day job to do something I love.  But, until that day comes I am going to consciously balance my time to include self-care, meditation, and family because life shouldn’t be all about work, it should be fun too.

Do you have a midnight hustle? If so what is it?

End of Year Tradition: Letter to Future-Self

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Last year I was reading through various inspirational blogs and found several that discussed different new year traditions.  One tradition was mentioned on not one, but two blogs and I was intrigued enough to try it out.  The concept was presented first on Jess Lively’s blog and then again on the When I Grow Up Coach blog and after reading both, I couldn’t contain my excitement and decided to try it out.

The basic concept is to write a letter to your future self describing and reflecting on the coming year as if it has already happened.  When I completed my letter for the first time at the beginning of this year, I was so excited to start.  I had many visions of what I wanted to accomplish and I included everything from the writing opportunities I wanted to obtain, to the way I wanted to decorate my house.  After I had written the letter, I tucked it away only to be read twice in the coming year.  Once about 6 months out and then again at the end of the year.  I (not so) patiently waited for all of my dreams to come true.  Unfortunately they didn’t come true in the way I thought they would.

Some of the items did materialize for 2012, but looking back on it, I realize my focus was very rigid.  I wanted very specific things to happen and when they didn’t, I found myself very frustrated and I wondered if the whole “future letter” was a waste of time.  Now that we have reached the end of 2012 and I am contemplating writing the letter again, I have decided that I will indeed write it again, but I suspect that it will have a bit of a different feel to it.

Instead of setting mostly rigid expectations for the year ahead, I am going to be a bit more balanced in my approach.  And considering my theme for the year ahead is to “be open” to whatever may come, I believe I will not only be able to handle whatever comes my way, but I also hope that many more dreams in my letter will come to fruition.

So, during the first week of 2013, I will once again sit down to write a letter to myself describing 2013 as if it was coming to an end.  I look forward to getting my thoughts on paper and dreaming big for the year ahead, but if all of my dreams don’t come to pass, then I know I will be open to whatever comes in it’s place.

If you were going to write a letter to yourself what would you include in your reflection of 2013?

End of Year Tradition: Theme of the Year

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Vision of being open.

I have heard of many people using different methods to reflect on the past year as well as make plans for the new year and as I continue to flow with life and make plans for future, I have decided to set a theme for 2013.  I thought it would be a good way to set a specific focus for the year ahead and as I move through each day of 2013 if need be, I can look back at this post and remind myself of my intention and focus for 2013.

With that being said my theme for 2013 is: Be Open.  I want to be open to whatever opportunities, challenges, and changes that may present themselves in 2013 and to take those things in stride.  Instead of fighting the current and resisting ‘what is’, I want to be open to the lessons I may learn and the growing that may come from the changes and challenges in the coming year.

That is not to say that I am going to just let life happen to me in 2013.  In fact my plan is quite the opposite.  I am setting goals and intentions for the coming year, but instead of asserting my “control” over what I think should happen, I am going to flow with what actually happens and be open to it all.  This is a huge change for me as I often find myself disappointed that things don’t go exactly as planned.  So, while I am not flying completely blind with no plan in 2013, I will simply be open to whatever changes may come.  My hope is that in my effort to let go a bit more and flow with all that life entails, I will continue to find peace in every situation no matter what it is.

I would love to hear from you. What would you say your theme is for 2013?

Make Room For Your Dreams

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I read a post last night from a friend regarding her experience of the “stuff” that is weighing her down and her intentions of letting it go.  It reminded me of something I have been thinking about for a few weeks now, as I have been making attempts to also clear out the old, to make room for the new (whatever that entails).

Have you ever heard the saying that when you open your hand to let go, it is also open to receive?  It can also be said that you must first let go of a little bit of your control to allow your dreams to manifest.  I think the same goes for making space, both literally and mentally, for your dreams to come true.  We often forget that in order to bring something new into our lives, we have to let go of the things that no longer serve us, be it behaviors, beliefs, or tangible objects that are blocking our ability to receive the resources we need to move forward.  Sometimes those beliefs, objects, or behaviors are all that we know and letting go of what we have always known for something that we can’t yet see is a scary venture.  I know, I have been there before.

The truth is our dreams are not guaranteed, but then again you could say that about anything in life.  The best we can do is have faith in ourselves and trust that we are not traveling this path by chance.  We are instead making a choice to live a life full of experiences, adventure and fulfilling our deepest desires and many times we must be willing to walk into the unknown to do it and sometimes that means letting go of the things that no longer serve your current reality to make room for the life you dream of.

I have always been much better at letting go of physical things than I am with letting go of my control (or perceived control as it may be).  I often find myself at the end of each season looking into my closet and donating items that no longer fit or things I haven’t worn in over a year.  I would much rather have the added space than the item I won’t use again.  When it comes to letting go of my expectations of myself or the beliefs I hold true about how my dreams should manifest, I am a bit more reluctant to let go.  Maybe it is because I am such a planner and when I get set on one plan, I begin to limit other possibilities.  Recently I have been thinking of what “stuff” I might need to let go of in order to receive the flow of energy, resources, and other contacts I need in order to make my dreams come true.

How can I make room for my dreams?

The first thing that comes to mind is time.  I hear people talking (myself included) about the lack of time they have, when really it is more about how you allocate your time.  Do you spend it doing things that will help benefit your dreams and goals or do you use it doing things that you feel you have to do?  Why not free up some time to do the things that will bring you closer to your dreams, no matter what it is?  For me this includes writing almost everyday.  I could become a much better writer if I committed to writing a little bit everyday and I could make the time if I got up only 30 minutes earlier each day.

Another thing I could do is clear out the belief that my dreams have to manifest based on the exact plan I have come up with.  My plan stems from what I believe is most feasible and realistic in achieving my dreams.  It is how I have come to know the world and my own abilities within it.  I know that by doing this I am not allowing the other innumerable possibilities to be an option.  My focus is so set on how I want it to happen, that I am quite possibly missing signs that could lead me in a direction I haven’t thought about.  I am by no means an expert in all the wonderful possibilities that my dreams could manifest, so how can I believe that there is only one way to do it?

I can’t.

I must be able to let go of the notion that I have it all planned out.  Sometimes, (actually most times) I don’t have the only way to do something and I frequently don’t even know the best way to do things.  When I let go of the idea that there is only one way to create my dreams, many more options present themselves.  The key is letting go and having faith that my dreams will come to fruition even if it isn’t the way I thought it would.  If I continue to believe in myself and my abilities and open my hands to release a bit of my control, my energy is then free to flow to the other possibilities that come my way.

So how can you make room for your dreams?  Do your dreams require you to pare down your belongings so you can travel the world for a year?  Maybe you want to start that business you have always wanted, but it means you have to free up some time, money, and space for that business to come alive.  Whatever dreams you have, what can you do to make room for them?