Lamisha Serf-Walls

The Ever-Evolving Dream=No Wrong Choices

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wrongchoices

 

It seems the world we live in today involves a ton of black/white issues.

Right vs Wrong

Good vs Bad

Yes vs No

This vs That

There is judgement in every seemingly wrong choice we make and the more we analyze our choices so we won’t make the ‘wrong’ choice, we paralyze ourselves from choosing at all.

Is it just me?

I have lived for far too long trying to make the best choices in all areas of my life that often times result in a ton of stress, strife, and guilt wondering if whatever choice I finally decided on was the right one.

It’s exhausting, draining, and just down right a waste of time.

Lucky for me, I am learning this lesson as I put it more into practice.

The truth of life is there are no wrong choices, in anything.  There are simply choices that will lead you down one path or another.  Forks in the road that may lead to amazing experiences, lessons, and gifts you wouldn’t have experienced otherwise.  Winding roads that may not make for a direct route to your dreams, but will deliver you to other dreams you hadn’t even thought of.

That is life.

And what a beautiful life it is.

You see, as far as your dreams are concerned, there are no wrong choices, bad times, poor actions, or failure.  There are simply choices that will help you and your dreams evolve.  There are paths that may send you into a forest of lessons, magic, miracles, and connections you never thought possible.  Each step you take will move you further along your path and each step will be perfect in its own right.  There are no wrong turns or choices.  There are just turns and choices that will move you along your path.

I say all of this to remind you that your dreams will grow, evolve, and change shape at times and everything that happens is perfect for YOU.  So sit back, relax, and make choices based on what feels right for you and know that even if it doesn’t bring you the outcome you first desired, that doesn’t mean it’s wrong or bad.  It’ just is what it is…another step, another lesson, another choice point for you in life.

When you take the emotional charge and judgement of right/wrong and good/bad and this/that, things not only feel easier, but your path will unfold in a more beautiful, flowing, and perfect way.

Remember everything is working out for you right here, right now.

Do you find yourself hanging onto right/wrong choices?  If so, what do you feel if you accept every step as perfect in all ways?  I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

 

The Comparison Pitfall

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Comparison

It seems that comparisons have become commonplace in our society and have somehow become the ruler by which all other things are measured.  For instance, if you are a new actress or author, the media makes every attempt to put you in a box with others that are like you.  It makes sense that we have gotten used to this metric and have since taken to measuring our own successes and experiences by those of others in a similar situation, however I can’t help but feel like this has become a huge detriment to our ability to stand out and find success in our uniqueness.

The truth is we all have our own gifts we bring to the world and while some say everything has already been done, we bring our own flavor and experiences to everything we do.  No two writers, actors, business owners, coaches, or athletes are the same, so why do we constantly compare ourselves to others in order to define our greatness?  When did it become so important for us to keep up with the Joneses in our attributes, successes, and bank accounts?

Beginning

I’m not sure when this became commonplace, because to be honest it has been a common theme in my life.  Everything from my dance background in high school to my current business plans have been surrounded by the idea that I had to live up to someone else’s measure of success or else I would be deemed a failure.  I know I am not alone in this and yet I know better.

I know that what I do in my business, what I offer by way of my own coaching, and my writing are all extensions of my own creative mind.  A mind that is like none other and a mind that brings a unique essence and life experience with it.  If I know better intellectually, why do I/we continually compare our gifts and talents to those of others?

The answer?  Because that is what we have been taught by society, by our teachers, and many of us by our parents because they were taught the same thing.

The great thing about learning something is that with a little re-framing and re-learning we can change those habits into something different.  We can move away from thinking that in order to find our worth or define our greatness that we must measure up to the number of published articles, the thousands of dollars in sales, or the number of clients someone else has.

Your worth and greatness are only defined by your own unique gifts.  And I am here to tell you that no matter how “professional” or “successful” someone else appears, they weren’t always that way AND they don’t have your unique life experience and flavor you bring to your craft.  That is yours alone.

So the next time you find yourself comparing yourself to someone and feeling less than the next guy, remember you are worthy of living the life of your dreams and only YOU can bring your magnificent gifts to this world.  Never forget that!

Beta Isn’t So Bad…

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Perfect

When it comes to doing things we are passionate about, many of us strive for optimal perfection.  We work, analyze, plan, and strategically lay out the action steps and pieces that need to come together for our vision to be just right.  As it begins to take shape we may notice areas that need more work, attention, and focus only to find our vision of perfection is always slightly out of reach.  There is always something else that can be added, tweaked, and changed to make it better and if you are like me, you may find yourself pondering how to make it better or frozen as you wait for the perfect idea to make it well, perfect.

I found myself in the perfectionist conundrum over the last few weeks as I began over thinking the necessary pieces that need to fall into place in order to have the perfect launch for my business.  In my mind I had to have what many other coaches offered on their websites in order to do it the right way and to be successful and while I knew that comparing my business vision with others was a sure-fire way to lose my confidence, I still felt like certain pieces had to be just right before I could move forward.

I realized I was very wrong.

As I was reading this weekend, I stumbled across an idea that was exactly what I needed to read at that moment.  In a book called The Gift of Adversity by Norman E. Rosenthal, M.D., I read a chapter that focused on the idea of perfection.  According to Rosenthal, most things don’t have to be perfect to do what you want them to do.  For instance, many companies will knowingly release a product that still has some bugs to be worked out as long as the bugs don’t compromise the integrity of the product known as a beta version.  The beta version is somewhat of a tester that can be improved along the way.  That is why we have so many versions of apps, phones, and computers.  No matter what product you have purchased it is likely a work in progress since developers are always working on the next best thing.

You may be asking yourself how this applies to your dreams and my business vision.

Well, here’s how I see it.  My business (and ultimately your dreams, goals, and aspirations) are always in transition.  Life is nothing but a constant change of events and circumstances, so nothing ever remains the same.  With that said, as I create my business intentions, services, and products I now realize whatever I create will not be what I offer for the entire life of my business.  Just as I will continue to evolve as a person, so will my ideas, creations, and my business.

So, if what I begin with isn’t exactly perfect, that’s ok.  I am sure there will be some mistakes and lessons along the way, but I will also learn a lot as my business progresses and I will likely learn many lessons I couldn’t learn if I wasn’t simply taking the leap.  In fact, I have always been far better at on the job training that pre-training with the expectation that I just know it all.  So, why should this be any different?

It shouldn’t.

I would venture a guess you too have struggled with your own progression toward your dreams/goals because you feel not ready enough.  Maybe you feel like you need more classes, more training, more knowledge, or more life experience.  Well I am here to tell you that’s not true.  You will learn far more by moving toward your goals than you will sitting back and planning them.  If you are inspired to do something, do it whether it feels perfect or not.

Beta versions aren’t all that bad, because when you think about it, aren’t we all just beta versions growing, learning, and evolving all the time?