Lamisha Serf-Walls

Making Peace With Your Starting Point

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peace

Have you ever had the experience of being in a situation, job, relationship, or circumstance that you simply wanted to get out of?  Maybe you wanted it to move in another direction or you wanted to have a different outcome.  Simply put, you were in one place, but you desperately wanted to be in another without knowing how to get there.

I think we all have had that experience.  I know I have had that many times especially when it came to my job.  At one point (not too long ago) I was working for a company that was ok, but I couldn’t get over how demeaning, mean, and completely unfair my boss was.  My daily focus was how much I wanted to leave that place and yet no matter how many resumes I sent out I couldn’t seem to land another job.  At one point my focus for what I wanted next was so diminished I would have taken anything just to leave the toxic environment I was working in.  Unfortunately I couldn’t just quit with nothing else lined up so I stayed.

I was on the job hunt for over a year all the while I woke up each morning with anxiety and dread as I made my way into work.  I couldn’t get over how uncomfortable the place was.  Then one day something happened.  I stopped looking for another job.  I don’t know if it was out of pure frustration or because I had accepted my fate, but I stopped.  I decided to find something to do in addition to my work there that would make me happy.

That thing was writing.

I began writing greeting cards and dabbled with some freelance work that I have continued 3 years later and I am so happy I did.  Not only was I more inspired to write, but I had somehow made peace with where I was.  Not too long after that point my horrific boss (though she was nice as a person) left the company.

Poof! One day she was gone.  I thought that was the absolute best thing that could happen, but it gets better.

A few months later I received a call from a former co-worker with a potential job offer.  A job I hadn’t even been looking for!  A job that turned out to be more money than I was making and would allow me to work from home.  I had always toyed with the idea of working from home, but I had no idea how that would be possible.  Not only that, but it turned out to be the perfect scenario since my partner and I knew we would be moving in the next few months out-of-state.  I knew if I didn’t have a job lined up I would have to stay behind to keep my job and now I didn’t have to do that at all.  My job moved with me!

It turned out to be the perfect situation and in it I learned a very valuable lesson.

When you make peace with your starting point, the Universe can work on your behalf to bring things to you that will move you toward your heart’s desire no matter how big it seems. 

The moral of this story is this…

Stop struggling with where you are now for it is just your starting point.  Make peace with it and find some way to appreciate and enjoy where you are now.  When you do, you will be amazed at the opportunities that unfold before your very eyes.  Opportunities you may never have thought possible.

Gratitude: Beginning and Ending With Peace

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This week has been a week of lessons.  Lessons about work, personal life, and finding balance with it all.  Along with those lessons came a much-needed epiphany of which I am grateful.  That epiphany is the importance of beginning and ending with peace.

This week was a little crazy in terms of my schedule and getting everything accomplished, but I began my week with a pause.  Knowing all I had to accomplish and ready to take it all on.  I took a deep breath and dove in and while the middle of the week got a little hairy, I am back to the place I started.  Peaceful.

It seems beginning each day with peace in my meditation practice sets the tone for the rest of the day and if things tend to get a little crazy, I can find my center again at the end of the day with more meditation, yoga, or some quiet time.  Beginning and ending with peace is essential for me to be the best me.  I am so grateful for that realization.

I believe I can apply the same concept to beginning and ending my week.  I can begin each week with an intention for how the week will go in terms of my schedule, work, and appointments.  As things come up (and I am sure they will) I can handle them accordingly.  In the event things get a bit busy or overwhelming, I can find my center and balance by ending the week with some mindful reflection, similar to what I do with my gratitude posts each week.

There is something about the idea of beginning and ending with peace that I think will ultimately bring more peace to the time in between.  As I am mindful of the beginning of each day and at the end of each day, I believe the peace will become a habit and as a result, I will feel much more centered and balanced.

I hope you too begin and end your weekend with peace.  Have a great weekend!

Meditation Challenge Update: Day 44

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Today is day 44 of my 100 day meditation challenge and I have a confession to make.  I missed one day entirely.  I don’t know how I did it, or where my mind was, but I missed it completely.  I didn’t even realize something was wrong until the next day.  And even though the challenge is to do 100 consecutive days of meditation, I am not giving up.  I will continue my meditation not only for the challenge, but also because of the many benefits I am feeling because of it.

So far here is what I have noticed:

  • I am much calmer throughout my day
  • I am feeling more centered and balanced (though I could use more of each)
  • I go with the flow much more after my meditation
  • I am breathing through daily challenges
  • I feel less stressed

I noticed something else about my meditation practice today and that is what time of day is best for me to meditation. The first several days I was sort of fitting it in whenever I could.  During my work days it seemed logical to do it before work as a nice transition into the day, but after today I now know that meditating before the workday begins is optimal for me.

I had a few errands I wanted to run this morning before work and instead of meditating before going out, I thought I could work it in before work.  As you can imagine time got away from me and I made it back in just enough time to get clocked in.  I realized I had to squeeze my meditation in later.  The mere idea of “squeezing” it in made me a little stressed and on edge.  I managed to take some time during my lunch to get it done, however at that point it was much more difficult to become relaxed.

I also noticed my workday before meditating was simply off kilter.  I felt scattered and had difficulty focusing on what I needed to accomplish and now I know meditating in the morning is best for me.  Not only that but I think it is time for me to increase my meditation time.  Currently I have worked up to about 15 mins and I want to extend that within the next 30 days to around 20 mins or more.  I look forward to sharing the differences I experience with an extended morning practice.

I am also open to any suggestions you may have from your own meditation practice.  What works for you?

To Do or Not Do…That Is The Question

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Most goal setting techniques involve setting a list of steps and then acting on those steps one at a time.  It makes sense in some cases to do things that way, but that isn’t always the best method I am realizing.  Sometimes it is important to take some time away from “doing” and to allow your previous actions to take shape and to allow the Universe to work some magic.

I recently finished Marlise Karlin’s book The Power of Peace in You and in it she describes igniting the power of stillness and peace within and living from that space to discover a life better than you imagined.  You can read my full review here, but one quote I found that really hit me is one that discusses doing vs not doing as a way to accomplish your dreams.

“Often, the best thing to do is…nothing at all, allowing space for inspiration by leaving a void.  It is here, in this essential non-doing, where you release attachment to the outcome-that the miraculous emerges to show you a different pathway for getting where you want to go.  You can’t tap into the Energy field of inspired solutions or discover the unforeseen if you are always racing to get it done at all costs.” Marlise Karlin in The Power of Peace in You

This quote has proven to provide a profound shift in my thinking regarding attaining my goals and dreams.  I have since moved (albeit slowly) from a place of doing to a place of non-doing in some situations and while it has been somewhat uncomfortable there, I am learning that there is certainly some value in it.  The key for me is knowing when to do and not do.

I suppose like anything in life, this is a matter of balance.  Just like a farmer can’t continuously plant seeds in the same space over and over again and expect his crop to grow overnight, I must learn to be content with letting my own dream crop grow.  Sometimes that means allowing my ideas, creations, and thoughts to ferment before I do anything with them.   For instance, when I started this blog, I went through a long period of thinking, pondering, creating, and allowing the right name, niche, idea to come to me.  And when it finally did, there was no question as to whether I should act or not act.  Maybe that is the key.

Plant your seeds of imagination and plant as many as you come up with, but be patient as you allow them to take shape or die out because the ones that are meant to be will be.  When you provide the space of non-doing, you allow miracles to happen because let’s face it, if you are always trying to do, do, do, the Universe has no time to work on your behalf.  But, if you are like me, you might wonder what you are supposed to do in the time you are not working on your goals.  My answer (one I often need to remember myself)? Have fun.

When you are not actively working on your goals and you are providing a space for them to breathe and grow, do something fun.  Catch up on a hobby you have missed.  Read a good book, get outside in nature, have coffee with a friend.  Life is meant to be enjoyed and if you are working on your goals all the time, no matter how happy they make you, you are likely to burn out.

So what are you doing or not doing right now in regards to your dreams and life goals?

Dreams Of Past and Present

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I spent much of today in reflection.  I reflected on what this day means to us because of one brave, amazing man and his fight for freedom so many years ago.  What it means today as we welcome in the second term for a President that has a vision much like that of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., a vision of equality, love, cooperation, and freedom for all.  I soon realized that the vision these two men shared is (as Dr. King so eloquently stated in his famous speech) a dream.  A dream of freedom that is unfolding before our very eyes and I am humbled, inspired, and proud to live during a time in history where dreams for our collective good are getting closer to being our reality and I am reminded that no dream is too big or too small to accomplish.

We each have our own personal dreams that we wish to fulfill in our lifetime and yet these men have dreams that reach far beyond the individual.  They have dreams that span the entire country and effect us as a whole to make this great land a better place.  One that is more peaceful, equal, and fair.  One that brings us together in unity and blurs the lines that divide us and I am grateful.  Grateful beyond words for the courage, vision, and fortitude to keep going when things get tough and never letting go of that dream.  We can all learn something from these amazing leaders about dreaming…no matter what your dream is, never let it go.  Keep fighting, striving, believing, and moving toward your vision step-by-step, because the worst thing you can do is give up on something that means so much.  What if Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had given up?  Where would we be today?