Lamisha Serf-Walls

I Got The Message, “Let Go and It Will Grow”

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In light of being completely and 100% authentic with you lovely readers I wanted to share something that happened a few weeks ago.  It is something that I have only shared with 2 people for fear others might think I’m crazy and while the “crazy” part is likely true,  I think it’s an important message to share with you.

A few weeks ago I was dealing with some major fear, anxiety, and frustration around what was or wasn’t happening in my business.  I created my business Facebook page, I set up a pay what you can offer and created my mailing list sign-up and they were going nowhere.  Add to that the anxiety of what may or may not be coming next for me job-wise and you can imagine I was a mess.  Even as a life coach, I still find myself fighting back the doubt sometimes.

So there I was, trying desperately through anxious-action to make things happen.  (When will I ever learn??) I was researching, reading, writing, and trying to come up with a plan.  A solid, no-nonsense, fool-proof plan to bring in the right clients.  I could feel the stress building and my Dream Crusher was coming in loud and clear.

I heard her say, “You have NO idea what you are doing.”, “You don’t know anything about business.”, “You should really just find another job and be done with it.”, “You have a family to help take care of for goodness sake.” “You are a fraud!”

She wasn’t being very nice and while I could have continued to let that voice take over my thoughts and cause me to give up, I didn’t.  Instead I meditated.

I knew I had to quiet the fearful thoughts that were flowing through my mind so I sat down, closed my eyes, and let them go.

My 15 minute meditation felt much longer and much deeper than what I am used to and I was not at all prepared for what happened next.  Just as my thoughts floated away, I saw a beautiful butterfly in my mind’s eye with two fingers holding onto one of the wings.  The other wing was furiously flapping as the butterfly was trying to get away.  In that moment I heard “Let go and it will grow.”

What?!butterfly

I meditate at least 5 times a week, sometimes more and during my morning meditations, I very rarely hear or see anything.  I have heard experiences where some people get great inspiration and insight from their meditations, but I don’t experience it quite as clear.  That is until that moment.

A few days later, after hearing the message 2-3 more times (not in meditation), I really felt the significance.

The fluttering and frantic butterfly was me and the fingers holding one of the butterflies wings was also me.  I was the one holding myself back.  Instead of following my intuition and inspiration and allowing that to lead me to the next thing (the way I coach others), I was trying too hard to make something happen.  I was acting out of fear instead of inspiration.  I allowed the doubt, fear, and frustration to send me into a tizzy that resulted in a lot of needy action.

I wasn’t thinking clearly.

I wasn’t following my own advice.

I wasn’t listening to my intuition.

Until that moment.

The message “Let go and it will grow.” has come back to me time and time again.  When I find myself struggling to find a solution or plan right this moment, I know I am trying too hard.  When I am trying to force things to work a very specific way, I know I have lost my faith.  When I am too focused on what I feel is going wrong instead of seeing what is going right, I have lost my way.  When I am too focused on blog views, new followers, new likes on Facebook, and the lack of clients, I am forgetting what is important.

My intuition tells me that letting go of the outcome and detaching from whatever I believe should be the end result is going to help things along.  When I let go of the butterfly and allow it the freedom to fly, I free up energy that can be used for other things.  I know this to be true because I have seen it happen over and over again in other areas of my life.

With a strong vision, belief in myself, and my work, things will keep moving forward. 

Do you have something you need to be easy about instead of trying so damn hard?  Take a step back for a while and do things you truly enjoy.  You just might be amazed at what happens next.

 

Lessons Learned: Business Building, Worry, and Meditation

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Each time I write one of these posts, I am more amazed at the evolution that is taking place in my personally and in my life.  I am an avid reader and student of life, so I have always wanted to analyze situations and dig a little deeper to find the lessons in most situations, but somehow articulating them here on my blog helps me to focus on them even more.  I hope you find value in them as well.

With that said let’s get to the lessons shall we?

Lesson:  Like building anything, building a business happens in layers and sometimes piece-by-piece.

When I envisioned my coaching business, I saw a booming business with an abundance of one-on-one clients, workshops, seminars, workbooks, books, retreats, etc.  What I did not see was all the behind the coaching stuff.  I didn’t know what I didn’t know and am quickly learning that building a business takes time and it comes in layers.  Much like bricklayers lay each brick on top of the last, I am building my business.  I learned this week that not only is it ok for it to be this way, it’s normal.  Just as I am evolving and changing, my business will do the same and as long as I add to it layer-by-layer, I can enjoy the process as it unfolds.  Enjoying the journey is the most important part!

Lesson:  Worry is worthless. worry

Wow, if I had a nickel for every time I have reminded myself of this fact, I would be rich.  This week in the middle of being blessed with an abundance of writing projects in addition to my day job and my business building, I had a little bit of worry about how I could get it all done.  My mind ran wild as I calculated the number of hours it would take to get everything done.  I was even trying to ration the time so each project got a portion of my time to get it all done.  I quickly learned that the time I spent worrying could be better spent doing something else.  Once I let go of the “how”, I got busy and did what I could with the time I had.  While I didn’t get everything done that I wanted to, I made progress and I wasn’t nearly as stressed.  I count that as a win.  If you are worrying about anything right now, just let it go because it really is worthless.

Lesson: Meditation is my medicine.

Since I have begun a more regular meditation practice (at least 5 days a week) the results have been amazing.  I have been far more calm, less stressed, more focused, and generally more balanced in my thinking/being.  In the last two weeks (especially this week) I have allowed my many responsibilities take precedent over my meditation practice.  While I could feel the stress and frustrations beginning to return, I kept trying to convince myself that I just didn’t have the time.  The Universe decided to prove to me I did have the time.

meditateYesterday after dropping my son off at daycare, I decided to treat myself to a cup of coffee and pay for the person behind me as a nice start to the day.  Upon returning home, I was on my way out the door to take the dogs for a little walk and all I could think of was how little time I had in the morning to tackle my to-do list.  Walking out the door and locking it behind me, I realized what I thought were keys in my pocket were not.  Luckily it was my phone and I was able to call my partner so she could come let me back in.  So what do you do when it’s 7am and you are locked out of the house?  I guess you could do many things, but I decided to watch the sunrise and spend some time meditating outdoors.  I then took myself and the dogs for a stroll around the neighborhood.

When I was able to get back inside, I felt calmer, more peaceful, and ready to tackle the day.  Now I know that meditation is my medicine or more like a vitamin nourishing my soul and protecting me from becoming unbalanced.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend and find some time to get outdoors and enjoy the beautiful colors and weather where you are.  And if you have never meditated, try it out and see if you feel some of the same centering effects I do.

Thanks for reading!

Meditation Challenge: Update

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I would love to be able to begin this post with a celebration for Day #83 of my consecutive 100 day mediation challenge, however I cannot.  I not only missed one day somewhere in the first 50 days of meditation, but this past weekend I missed about 3 more.  (Insert disappointed face here.)

While there is a part of me that is slightly disappointed that I missed so many days in a row, a larger part of me is proud for only missing a total of 4 days in the 83 that I have been practicing.  I recognize that to be a mighty accomplishment for myself.  Especially since I wanted to start a meditation practice for many years and could never stick to it.  Now I know I can and despite my disappointment for missing so many days, I have learned a great deal about myself and my practice.

I have learned:

  • The type of meditation I do depends on my mood.  Sometimes I like guided meditations, while other times I do my own to music or in complete silence.  None of them is the right way or better than the other.  I simply listen to what I need in the moment and proceed with what feels right for me.
  • The ideal amount of time for me on a daily basis is about 15-20 minutes in one sitting and it feels really great to do a morning and evening meditation.
  • My patience for the ups and downs of everyday life is much better when I have meditated on that particular day and I feel a more calm sense of peace after I meditate.
  • I am definitely more optimistic and positive in the moment and spend much less time focusing on what hasn’t yet materialized in my future.  It is true that meditation is a mindful practice for the moment, at least for me.
  • Meditation has become a habit for me, not just a ritual or a challenge.  It is a habit I have wanted to create for many years, but never thought I had the time or the focus to do it, and now I have.

With that said I realize missing 4 days of meditating is not the end of the world and while I may not have made it to the 100 consecutive days of meditating like I wanted in the beginning, I have learned a lot in the process not only about meditation in general, but how it applies to my life and my practice.

I have also decided to begin a new 100 day meditation challenge (officially starting April 1st for ease of calculating days), but this time the motivation for the challenge is to simply reap the benefits of meditation on a daily basis while reaching (and surpassing) my goal of 100 days.  Much like healthy eating and exercising, meditation is a daily practice meant to be a lifestyle change, not something you do only when you feel frazzled.  So with that ultimate purpose in mind I will begin again.

Not meeting a goal doesn’t automatically mean failure, sometimes it is just a reminder to take a moment to reset and begin again.

What are you hitting the “reset” button for today?

Playing Catch Up: A Little Update

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I know it has been several days since my last post and I thought I would provide a bit of an update before I get back to “real” posts (whatever that means).  Last week I had a lot of great surprises and some realizations that I wanted to put together into one post to share and then life happened, so consider this your update.

I wanted to mention my gratitude for a few realizations last week because I wanted to remember the positive aspects of last week especially since this week has been a bit of a whirlwind.  With that said the two things I was really and truly grateful for last week were surprises and riches.

Last week I received a variety of surprises and while many times those can be thought of as dreaded inconveniences, there are also those delightful surprises that come out of the blue and those are the kind I am referring to.  Not only did I receive notification of another greeting card being accepted for review, but my partner received a promotion she was looking forward to and my work schedule changed.  The change was something I certainly wasn’t expecting, but appreciate because it provides more time and connection with my family throughout the week.

The other thing I was grateful for was the idea of riches.  I am not talking riches in the form of money, but in the many other forms it can take.  When I began thinking of all of the wonderful aspects of my life that are not tangible and monetary, I realized I have so much to be grateful for on a daily basis and it has nothing to do with the amount of money in the bank.  Friends, family, love, creativity, spirituality, and gratitude are all part of my riches that I am so grateful for in my day-to-day life.  And while I may often forget it, I wanted to bring my attention to it for the moment and for future moments when I am feeling a little down and need a reminder.

So those were my gratitude moments from last week.  Now for an update on the children’s book start date…

Unfortunately the day I set to begin writing my children’s book (yesterday) did not go as planned.  We have had a few days of chaos with a sick little one at home and that has changed plans, schedules, and routines a bit causing us to move things around to make room for what is important in the moment.  (Wasn’t I just grateful for surprises??)  So, I have not yet begun my children’s book since we have been playing catch up with work, house stuff, and life in general, but I will be getting back to it.  More on that later.

And for my last update, I am proud to say in the midst of chaos, surprises, and the amazing riches I have in my life I have maintained my meditation practice.  Not only have I been able to maintain my practice, but on some days I have even been able to do two 15 minute meditation sessions per day.  One in the morning and one in the evening which has been wonderful for my patience and sanity.

So there you have it, a summary post catching you up on some of the latest and greatest in my world.  I promise to have more “real” posts for you in the coming days, but until then I am off to play catch-up on some tasks for work and home.

Have a wonderful day!

Meditation Challenge Update: Day 44

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Today is day 44 of my 100 day meditation challenge and I have a confession to make.  I missed one day entirely.  I don’t know how I did it, or where my mind was, but I missed it completely.  I didn’t even realize something was wrong until the next day.  And even though the challenge is to do 100 consecutive days of meditation, I am not giving up.  I will continue my meditation not only for the challenge, but also because of the many benefits I am feeling because of it.

So far here is what I have noticed:

  • I am much calmer throughout my day
  • I am feeling more centered and balanced (though I could use more of each)
  • I go with the flow much more after my meditation
  • I am breathing through daily challenges
  • I feel less stressed

I noticed something else about my meditation practice today and that is what time of day is best for me to meditation. The first several days I was sort of fitting it in whenever I could.  During my work days it seemed logical to do it before work as a nice transition into the day, but after today I now know that meditating before the workday begins is optimal for me.

I had a few errands I wanted to run this morning before work and instead of meditating before going out, I thought I could work it in before work.  As you can imagine time got away from me and I made it back in just enough time to get clocked in.  I realized I had to squeeze my meditation in later.  The mere idea of “squeezing” it in made me a little stressed and on edge.  I managed to take some time during my lunch to get it done, however at that point it was much more difficult to become relaxed.

I also noticed my workday before meditating was simply off kilter.  I felt scattered and had difficulty focusing on what I needed to accomplish and now I know meditating in the morning is best for me.  Not only that but I think it is time for me to increase my meditation time.  Currently I have worked up to about 15 mins and I want to extend that within the next 30 days to around 20 mins or more.  I look forward to sharing the differences I experience with an extended morning practice.

I am also open to any suggestions you may have from your own meditation practice.  What works for you?