Lamisha Serf-Walls

Confession Time: I Didn’t Listen To My Heart…and I Failed (sort of)

by

What's(1)

To be honest with you, I have been dreading writing this post.  Part of me knew I had to do some processing mentally and emotionally before I could put anything in writing and the other part of me was just plain embarrassed.

Embarrassed of looking like a fraud, a scam, a loser and my worst fear…a FAILURE.

So what did I fail at exactly?

I failed at listening to my intuition when it told me something wasn’t a good fit.

I failed at recognizing the signs that reinforced something wasn’t a good fit.

I failed at standing in my power to declare to myself and YOU that it’s ok to pull the plug on something that isn’t a good fit.

So what is this elusive ‘thing’ that isn’t a good fit?

The 90-Days To Biz Brilliance program.

Yep, the program I was so excited about (initially before the signs) and the same program I put off releasing twice for various reasons (because I clearly ignored the signs.)

The short story is this.  I fell into the trap of thinking that other people know me better than myself and while some of my clients are female entrepreneurs, I am not a ‘business coach’.  Here’s where it gets a little confusing even for me.  The biz brilliance program is actually full of amazing content, support, information, and practices to handle the stuff that comes up when you are creating a business, but it is also good for people NOT in business.

I was excited about the program.  I shared it with you and in various other networks happily.  I loved the feeling of the program, but something I couldn’t quite put my finger on felt off.  The more I shared, the more off it felt.  And when the feeling got to be too much, I knew that it wasn’t going to fly, but I was too afraid to pull the plug for fear of looking unprofessional.  I didn’t want anyone to think any less of me and to see me the way I was seeing me in that moment…a failure.

But despite all of that this is what I have learned:

  • I now know what the off feeling feels like in my body and I can use that in the future
  • I took a HUGE step to create a program that has good bones and can be used in another way…later
  • I am not a failure
  • I now have more clarity about what isn’t a good fit for me, which is equally as important as knowing what is
  • Life (and my business) goes on despite this bump in the road
  • Listening to my intuition and inner wisdom is always the best way

It is imperative to trust that tiny whisper within that tells you something isn’t right and the nudge you get to go in a particular direction.  Learn to listen to yourself and let go of the other stuff that doesn’t feel right for you.  Tap into your intuition on a daily basis and allow it to guide you forward.  It takes practice, I know especially when you are in business and there are so formulas for ‘success’.  Your success will come to you in a way that feels right and fits your path.

Another big thing this experience taught me is that trying is succeeding in its own right, so keep trying.  Keep experimenting and keep going.  Do you know how many times Albert Einstein ‘failed’ in his experiments before he got one ‘right’?  If one of the most amazing scientific geniuses in history can ‘fail’ a few times to get to something incredible, then don’t you think we can too?

Life is about experience, so remember that as you try and try (and try) again.  Don’t forget to trust too.  Trust is a big part of the process.  Knowing that you will get to where you are going as long as you keep going.

 

0001-2

P.S. We are entering the last 4 months of the year (where does the time go!) and I know there are dreams and goals that you have been procrastinating on.  It’s time to get a Jump Start don’t you think? My 1-month Jump Start package is available to help you take big action and get moving immediately toward your dreams.  Haven’t you waited long enough?  Get signed up for your free 30-minute consultation to get started for September. 

Taking My Own Advice With Tiny Steps or Big Leaps

by

Have you ever found yourself giving advice to someone else and seeing the picture so clearly, only to realize the very advice you are giving is advice you can/should implement in your own life?  That happened to me today and while the advice was far from prophetic it hit me like a ton of bricks just a few hours ago…I should be listening to myself!

A co-worker had recently mentioned feeling stuck in life, wanting to change multiple areas of her life at once.  With so much to do it seemed overwhelming, yet the yearning, the need, and the desire to change each area was still there, but the time to do it all wasn’t.  In that moment the solution seemed so clear.  It was as if I was looking straight through a clear glass of water and the solution was on the other side staring back at me.  It was simple or so it seemed.

The first piece of advice is nothing we haven’t heard before.  When you feel overwhelmed, break the big stuff down into little pieces and do it one step at a time.  My particular advice was this.  Find something you can do each week no matter how small or insignificant it seems and do at least one thing each week that will move you closer to your dreams.  Set it on your calendar, make a date with yourself, schedule it in your phone if you have to.  It doesn’t matter how you do it, just do it.

Time seems to be a hot commodity in our world.  There never seems to be enough for what we want and need to do but if you are always looking for free time you won’t find it, you have to make time for things that are important.  Sometimes that means getting rid of other things, or moving things around a bit so they fit, but however you choose to do it, you must make the time.  Once you have set this date with yourself to work on your dreams/goals/aspirations etc. keep it.  The momentum will build one step at a time and you will find yourself inspired, motivated and full of passion to continue to make tiny steps or big leaps toward your dreams.

My second piece of advice was to be kind to yourself.  When it comes to goals and dreams, things rarely go exactly as planned and mistakes happen.  In fact they have to happen in order for us to learn.  So when you make a mistake or choose something over your weekly task, it’s ok.  See it, accept it, and do better next time.  You won’t get any closer to your dreams by rehashing your mistakes over and over again.  Know that wherever you are headed takes time and many lessons and accept the lessons with open arms.

Sound like good advice?  I thought it was.  🙂  A few hours later I was wondering how I will ever find the time to write this children’s book I want to work on this year and almost immediately my advice played back in my head.  “You have to make time for what you want…”

This time I am listening and whether my tasks each week are tiny steps or big leaps one thing is for sure, I am making moves to make my dreams my reality and that is what this journey is all about.

What will your tiny step be this week?

 

 

I Am Listening…

by

This week has been one of those weeks, yet again.  It seems like time is speeding up and the number of things that must get done are adding up too and while I could very well freak out about what isn’t getting done, or get anxious about the long list, I am not.  Thanks to my meditation practice, I am staying pretty balanced in my mood and doing what I can each day.  With that said, I am human and I still recognize there is much to be done this week, but right now, I am simply listening.

I am listening to my body, my mind, and my inner voice and letting it guide me through my days.  My body is saying “rest” and I am sure it means I need more sleep.  And though I know I could stay up to get through the last few chapters of a book I am reading so I can get some writing done for it, I will not.  I will listen, and sleep.  My mind is telling me to step back, slow down, and breathe.  So I am.  I have taken far more deep breaths today than I can remember in the last week, simply to focus and center myself.  I am listening.

My inner voice seems to have a lot to say about all the “busyness” that is going on this week.  “Let it go. ”  “It’s not worth it.” “It can wait.”  This voice is gently guiding me to do what is best for me right now and to take care of myself and I am listening.  My inner voice is also providing an unlimited number of creative ideas that I truly can’t wait to begin.  When will that be? I am not sure, but one thing I know is that as long as I am listening and following the little nudges here and there, it will all come together in the right time and space for me.  Until then, I am listening.

What do you need to listen to right now?

My Monarch Messenger

by

This past weekend as my partner was leaving to run some errands, she noticed we had a beautiful visitor just outside the front door.  A monarch butterfly had landed on our mums and decided to stay awhile, several hours to be exact.  Every once and awhile it would fly out to the front yard, around our tree and back again. When she showed me the picture she had taken, I was intrigued.

I have seen many butterflies recently on walks around our neighborhood.  I have seen all yellow ones, black ones, and even gorgeous black and yellow ones quite frequently, and every time I see a new one, I smile.  I am reminded of the transformation that takes place inside the cocoon in order for this gorgeous creature to emerge.  Since I have been seeing more and more butterflies recently, I have found it to be a confirmation of my own transformation taking place and a message that I am not alone on my journey. (Something I know to be true, but a little reminder every now and then doesn’t hurt.)

Though I have seen several butterflies recently there were two things that made this particular butterfly stand out to me.  One is that it was a monarch butterfly and in the year we have lived here, I have never seen a monarch butterfly, let alone have one visit us for such a long time.  The other thing that made this butterfly stand out to me is the length of time it stayed perched on our flowers, flying away every once in a while only to return to its original place.  I couldn’t help but think there was some sort of symbolism or message that we were supposed to get.  And since I know there are no such things as coincidences, I wanted to find out the message from our monarch.

Our weekend visitor

Here is what I found from www.zimbio.com.  “Monarchs bring the message of courage: have courage, walk with courage, make changes in courage.  This butterfly travels huge distances on their annual migration following the same route as many birds.  Humans do not have the courage, generally, to travel to unknown places with the conviction of faith that the Monarchs have.  That is the other part of the message-to have faith.  Monarchs realize that the world is not something they control, and yet they make this huge journey.  Humans feel the need to control everything-people, environment, weather, plants and animals.  The message is to let go and let the journey happen. (from Spirit Animals-the Monarch Butterfly-Missing August 29, 2008)

There are many lines in this seemingly small passage that speak to me, one of which is to walk and make changes with courage.  Change has the ability to excite and scare me all in the same breath, and while my journey forward isn’t always outlined and mapped out for me, courage is a necessity to keep moving forward.

Having faith is another part of the message that really resonated with me.  Despite not knowing what may come around the corner, we all must have faith that it will work out for us no matter what.  Sure maybe our journey didn’t take us the route we thought we should go, but in the end sometimes the route we didn’t think of is much better.  We must keep the faith that all will be revealed at the right time, and we will end up exactly where we should be, even if it isn’t where we thought we would end up.

This takes me to the idea of control.  This piece hit a chord with me more than I would like to admit.  I, like many people I am sure, have this desire to have as much control as possible over the outcomes of my dreams, job, and life in general.  The reality is, I can’t really control everything…though try as I might, it just doesn’t work.  So in order to succeed on any journey we are on in life, we must learn to “let go and let the journey happen”.  I love that so much.

Thank you my monarch messenger for such an amazing gift of your beauty, and the reminder to have courage and faith as I move toward my dreams and just when I feel frustration and resistance setting in, I will learn to let go and allow my journey to happen.

How do you let go and allow your journey to simply unfold?

Go with your gut

by

As a creative soul I love trying new things and thinking outside the box, but one thing is for sure, decisions are not my forte.  In fact they make me tremble with anxiety for the most part, especially those large, potentially life changing decisions that as adults we often have to make.

A few years ago I was looking to get out of the job I was in and into a job that would allow me to actually utilize my Masters degree in Psychology.  The idea of helping young children find a forever home sounded wonderful and I was up for the challenge.  Unfortunately the pay that comes along with that challenge was not even in the ball park of what I needed to survive.  I was offered the position along with the measly salary that came with it.  I had a decision to make.  I could either keep the job I didn’t like with potential for a possible raise, or take a more challenging job for less money.

And so it began…

I made ample lists of pros vs cons, looked at my budget until my eyes crossed, and tried to make sense of my predicament. I agonized over it for about a week, hoping that someone, anyone would give me the right answer as to what I should do.  My partner (as lovely and kind as she is) told me she would support me in whatever decision I made.  That was not the answer I was looking for, albeit sweet and very supportive.

I wanted someone to make the tough choice for me, but I knew it wasn’t going to happen.

I didn’t have much time left when I finally made a decision.  I was not going to take the job that I thought I wanted/needed, and instead stay in my current position while negotiating an additional $4,000 a year.  Even though it seemed like the right choice, I couldn’t help but wonder if I would regret it later.  Looking back now I know I made the right decision.

So why did I doubt myself?

It comes down to trust.  Sometimes I don’t trust myself to make the right decisions and I have a fear of doing something I will regret.  I don’t want to look back and say, I should have taken path B instead of A or vice versa and feel terrible about it later.

I realize there aren’t necessarily right or wrong decisions in life as much as there are two (or more) paths that lead in one direction or another.  Each way may lead down a different road that will inevitably converge later down the line and the best thing you can do is go with your gut.

Trust your intuition, no matter what.

Whether you find yourself making a decision about finances, business, or in how you accomplish your dreams, the most important thing to do is to trust your intuition as it is your internal compass.

If you trust your intuition, you can never go wrong.

********************

I want to hear from you. Do you always listen to your intuition?  Can you tell the difference between your intuitive voice, and the voice of fear?