Lamisha Serf-Walls

Major Epiphany & Life Lesson for You

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photo credit: Upward via photopin (license)
photo credit: Upward via photopin (license)

 

I’ve been a bit MIA lately and there’s a reason for that.

In the last 2 weeks I’ve felt a bit off kilter in my journey.  I felt the shift happen after I came back from a wonderful vacation and started to feel like there was a transformation that I was indeed preparing for.  What that transformation included, I wasn’t sure, but I knew something was coming.

And sure enough it was.

I’ve had these moments before when I go through a major life upheaval with emotions running high and lots of blocks and beliefs that need released.  It’s a process for me and one that I understand very well even if it feels like shit while I’m ‘in’ it.  But, what I always know is that on the other side of this upheaval there is always light, purpose, and expansion that I couldn’t have if it hadn’t been for the upheaval.  For those moments I am grateful.

Last week I was in the throes of it and finally decided to announce it to my Love Your Life Tribe Facebook group because I wanted to be authentic, honest, and I wanted everyone to know that no one is perfect.  EVERYONE goes through these moments and despite the discomfort of the process, it always works out in the end.

Thank goodness the fog is beginning to clear and I am finally being able to see the lesson here and I am passing it along to you.

My major epiphany & life lesson for you is in: Letting Go.

I am one of those people who tends to be a bit of a control freak.  I like to think I am the one running things and making magic happen in my life (sorry Universe), when in actuality I am just following the nudges of my intuition and the Universe.  However, in the moments when I am struggling with making something happen (i.e. meeting financial goals, figuring out how to do something etc.) I go into overdrive and try, try, try, until I can’t possibly try anymore.

And when that doesn’t work (which it usually doesn’t) I go into the mode of thinking I MUST be doing something wrong (because if not, then it would all be fine right) and then I TRY AGAIN.

Looking back I can see how it might be like me banging my head on a door that won’t open thinking that if I just bang on it hard enough, POOF it will magically open.

Yep, doesn’t work like that.

So the key in those moments (or in the less dramatic moments when you aren’t sure which way to go and you know how all of this works) you let go of the NEED for things to change right then and there and keep moving on your merry way.

Now, that’s hard to do if you are dealing with money because how exactly do you go on your merry way when bills are due?

I’ve learned the hard way that you just have to TRUST.  LET GO & TRUST that it’s all going to work out and in actual fact it IS working out for you even if you can’t see how or when or why it is.

Trust is a funny thing because it means you have to simply let go of the thing you are worrying about and go with the flow of life.  And what takes that up another notch is to be HAPPY & JOYFUL in spite of the given challenge.

Last week, that is the last thing I wanted to hear.

I was struggling (in my mind) and I didn’t want to hear any woo-woo message about letting go and letting the Universe (or God) take care of things for me.  As much as I KNOW that to be true, I wasn’t in a place to hear that.  I had to go through the frustration and the emotion of it all to finally get there….

And I finally made it this weekend when I was getting messages left and right on letting go and simply allowing life to unfold and being JOYFUL through the process.  Funny how that works huh?

The one quote in particular that literally shifted everything for me was this:

“The dichotomy is that for true healing to occur, I must let go of the need to be healed and just enjoy and trust in the ride that is life.” Anita Moorjani from Dying To Be Me

The truth is you can enter just about any word in place the word “healing” and the statement would still be true.  Abundance, love, peace, etc. all follow the same formula.

When you let go of the need to have something and just enjoy and trust in the journey of life, things transform and the very thing you let go of, comes back to you.

Letting go of the need is necessary to manifest your desires and being joyful in the process of life is what life is all about.

And that leads me to simply asking myself this, “How can I enjoy the moment right here, right now?” and then acting accordingly.

Simple truths with magnificent power.

My question for you is this…what do you need to let go of right now?

If what you need to let go of is the feeling of being stuck, check out my free audio 5 Ways to Break Free From Stuck below.

Break Free(1)

Moving Through the Storm and Into the Sunrise

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photo credit: Hamed Saber via photopin cc

Last week I shared a few videos on how to add a bit more self-care into every single day.  It seems fitting since this week I need not only a little, but it seems quite a lot.

I am moving through a period of transformation not just in my business, but also in my personal life.  I am uncovering another layer of who I am and learning to be with whatever comes up which for me can be a pretty emotional process.  You see, I am realizing that some of the lessons I thought I learned (and incidentally mastered) are resurfacing for deeper clearing and healing.  It’s like going through college and taking Psych 101 and moving onto Psych 205.  More info, more processing, more to integrate into everyday living.

So here I am in the center of what I call for my clients a ‘blissful breakthrough‘ though I am not quite at the bliss yet.  I’m still in the uncovering, releasing, and accepting phase.  Loosening old thoughts that have been lodged in my psyche for as long as I can remember.  Letting go of the crud that has weighed me down over the years and releasing the expectation that the world must shift in order for me to stay present, be successful, and happy.

As far as shifts go, I know them well.  I have gone through many periods of growth followed by long periods of plateau and here I am in the growth phase once again.  And in my experience after the emotional upheaval that may come, the silence, and the shift comes incredible clarity.

It’s almost like being in the middle of a treacherous storm.  Heavy rain, powerful wind, and old debris falling away only to be followed by the most amazing sunrise that only comes after a powerful storm.

The storm is your breakthrough.  The sunrise is your bliss.  Moments like these remind me why I am able to do the work I do.  It’s because I get it.  I’ve been there and am still learning, growing, and evolving.

As for the current lesson, I am allowing and not fighting it.  Accepting it and not resisting it because I know what lies on the other side of this and I have a choice.  I can fight it, hide it, and ignore  it or I can accept it, allow it, and choose to see the sunrise again.  I choose the sunrise.  Because even on the darkest day, with heavy rain, and crazy wind, I know the sun will rise again.

And while I am being a bit tight-lipped about the specifics of the lesson and my current situation, I want you to know this: Lessons in life are inevitable, but even with them all you get to decide how you feel, what you do, and what you want out of life.  So decide what you want and be willing to experience the lessons along the way and heal what needs to be healed.  It is there you will find your bliss.

<3 Lamisha

 

Recent Lessons & Major Breakthroughs

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Let your light shine!
Let your light shine!

Being a coach, I am not exempt from life lessons and major breakthroughs that I help my clients through and this past week has been a pretty big week for me.  Not only am I stepping more into who I really am as a business owner and coach, but also who I am as a wife, a mother, and all the other shoes I fill.  It’s both liberating and sometimes downright scary to look at all the things I am doing in my life and where I want to be.  I stand in awe as I look how far I have come and am amazed at the progress while still looking ahead to everything that I want to do.

I wanted to take a moment to share with you my recent life lessons and ‘aha’ moments that have come from my conversations with clients and my dear spiritual soul sisters who have shared their amazing gifts with me.  I hope that by reading this you are able to identify with some (if not all) of the lessons and feel your own transformation and healing begin to take place.

  • Have Fun: This is such a good reminder not just for me but for any of you wonderful business-minded souls who are working, striving, and making moves in the business world.  We are too often caught in the building phase of our empire that we forget what it’s like to truly LIVE and have FUN!  In fact, I was given the assignment to do something fun every single day and I had a hard time thinking of what I would do!  How silly is that?!  Fun is a huge piece of the happy life puzzle and it is what opens us to the magic that is in the world.  So, I ask you: What have you done for fun lately?

 

  • Recognize and Celebrate Your Own Brilliance: As a coach, I am able to immediately see the light and brilliance that my clients have.  I see it, connect with it, and reflect it back to them in ways that they can see and feel it.  It can be far more difficult for me to stand back and view myself in that same way which at times results in doubt, frustration, and dare I say fear? A wonderfully talented soul sister of mine reminded me that I don’t have to compare my talents and gifts with any one else nor do I have to place anyone on a pedestal while viewing myself as ‘below’ them on the totem pole of power and authority.  When we are stepping onto our true path, it can be far too easy to compare ourselves with those around us.  We take note of their success and all that they have conquered while tallying up our ‘successes’ that never seem to amount to much. But when we can step back from our ego and view our life, our accomplishments, and our gifts through fresh eyes, we see that comparison is not necessary.  We are all brilliant in our own way and simply knowing that is the first step to truly seeing it.  I want you to know that you are brilliant as well!  Whether you are an artist, coach, healer, yoga instructor, or you are an amazing parent, partner, animal-lover etc.  YOU are brilliant and have a light and many amazing gifts that the world needs.  See it! Embrace it! Celebrate it! 🙂

 

  • Take Risks: This one is a HUGE message I have been getting in the last few weeks but I only recognized it last week.  Most of my life I have had this internal fight inside of myself.  Logic vs Dreams, Stability vs Freedom, Comfort vs Adventure.  I haven’t ever really been the risk-taker in life and have spent much of my life taking calculated risks while worrying about the best decision to make to keep things ‘stable’.  Since I started my business I have been playing it safe too which translates to playing small.  I have put my toe in the water of uncertainty and slowly eased in when what my heart really wants to do (and what my soul is aching to do) is dive in clothes and all!  I have been in my own way and while it may not seem like that on the outside, there are many ways it is manifesting in my life.  Procrastination, timidness, fear, and more uncertainty.  But here is the flip side of all that.  I KNOW that in order for me to be wildly successful and do all the work I am truly meant to do, I must stop with the fear, stop with the calculated risks and listen to my heart again.  The same heart that told me to leap into my business.  The same heart that said, I don’t know how but I will figure it out.  The same heart that at one point told me to move over 300 miles away from my home, my friends, and my family for love.  THAT is the heart I am listening to.  So risks I shall take and I encourage you to do the same.  So what if you don’t have all your ducks in a row, some ducks may show up to the party fashionably late, but that doesn’t stop the party.  Jump! Leap! Dive in and watch what happens to your life!

 

  • Ask For Help: I don’t know if this is because I am the oldest child or if I have developed a sense of ‘I can do it all myself’ syndrome, but somewhere along the way I decided I didn’t need help.  Not only that, but even if I did, I wouldn’t ask for it. And I am not exactly talking about asking my fellow neighbors and friends for help, I’m talking asking the Universe and the Divine for assistance.  I am a firm believer that part of what makes our amazing lives so great is the amount of support we receive from other realms.  Call it Heaven, God, Goddess, Angels, the Universe, or whatever it is you believe in, but I know that we are not meant to travel along our paths alone and yet there are times I don’t ask for help. So, I am getting back to my daily connection with Spirit (both mine and the Universal Spirit of all things) through meditation and prayer to bring that wonderfully supportive energy back into my life and business.  We don’t have to do everything on our own, nor do we have to know how, who, what, when, and all the extra details that go with it.  We can simply ask and be open to receive the answer.  It’s that simple! So, what could you use a little help with that you have been doing all on your own?  Ask, and you shall receive!

I hope that my recent breakthroughs and life lessons resonate with you and open your eyes to your very own blissful breakthroughs.  The more I grow, learn, and evolve, the more I realize life is a series of lessons that further uncover our greatness, beauty, and purpose.

May you have a bit of fun, recognize your own brilliance and light, take a few risks, dream big, and ask for help from the amazing and always loving Universe today and always.  Things are changing and life is too good to stay in one place and play small.  Reach beyond your comfort zone daily and expand into every corner of your greatness and watch as your life transforms into the most amazing ride you never thought possible.

Sending you lots of love,

Lamisha

Being Here, Instead of There

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I find that I learn life lessons far better through experience as opposed to theory and this past weekend, I found myself learning a life lesson that I have known in theory for many years, but am only now beginning to bring it into my experience by one of the wisest teachers I know….my three year old son.

You see the misconception that many people have about parenting is that the parent is the “know all” to the child.  Parents are supposed to teach all the important life lessons since theoretically we have learned them all ourselves and while that may be true for some things, I find I learn far more from my son, than I have taught him in the last 3 years of his life.  The most recent lesson came yesterday when he absolutely refused to take his nap.  (If you are a parent, you know exactly what I am talking about.)

The lesson he taught me: Be.Here.Now.behere

The struggle began with my preconceived, preplanned expectation of what I wanted to accomplish during nap time yesterday.  I had some work to do and it seemed that nap time was a good time to dig in and get some things done before the big game.  My son had plans of his own.  Mainly to avoid sleep at all costs and to teach Momma a very important lesson about life.

Every time I tried to put my little one down for his nap, he fought me.  Being the parent, I thought I knew what was best for him and could tell that he was in fact tired.  It was my duty to get him down so he could rest his weary head, right?  Maybe.  Upon further reflection today, I realized what I was really trying to do was get him to fall in line with my expectations so I could have a bit of a rest and get some (in my mind very important) things done.

Instead of listening to what he truly needed, I was focused on all the things I needed to do, but wasn’t able to.  I was watching the hours tick by and was planning for the disaster that would occur if he didn’t take his nap.  Cranky kid, cranky Momma, and no work done.  Sadly and selfishly, my thoughts were not on what my son needed from me in that moment, but on what I needed him to do so I could move on with the rest of my schedule.

Thinking about it this morning, I was filled with guilt and the worst kind…Momma-guilt.  The kind that breaks your heart and makes you feel like the worst mother on the planet.  Luckily, I didn’t stay there long before I moved from guilt to curiosity.  What could I learn from this?

Is the lesson that good moms never lose their patience?

Nope.

What I learned is that regardless of what expectations I have set for the day, the week, the month, or the year, shit happens.  Plans don’t work out.  Kids don’t nap.  Cars break down.  It rains. (Though thankfully all that didn’t happen in one day.) And when things don’t go as planned, it’s not only best to just roll with it, it’s imperative.

You see, even with plans and expectations for what I wanted to accomplish yesterday, I could have been fully in the here and now.  And if I was, I would have been better equipped to roll with the punches and find a better way to spend my time.  Instead of thinking about the work I was not doing but desperately needed to do, I could have created some happy memories with my son.

The lesson in all of this is what I have known in theory all along.  Life is lived in the ‘now’.  Not the past or the future.  When we waste our days thinking about what we could’ve, should’ve, or would’ve done or about what has yet to come, we miss the most amazing, magical moments in life.  For me, those moments were with my son.  For you, it might be with your spouse, a friend, or a magical moment that could lead you to the next step of your dream.  And while I would love to say I have mastered this lesson and will always be patient and flow with life, I’m not sure that’s entirely true.

What I do know is that I will be far more mindful of where my thoughts are in the moment.  I will breathe.  I will think, and I will refocus on the present moment, especially when I am with my son.  Because let’s face it, time passes by too quickly and life is too short to worry about work, stress, bills, money, and material things when we have precious children, spouses, friends, pets, family members, etc. around us.

So my question for you is this:  Where are you now?  Here or There???

Be Easy…You’re Still Learning!

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When I was initially inspired to become a life coach, it came at a time when I felt a push to help people do what they really wanted to do, not what they felt they had to do.  In a weird sort of way I was coaching without realizing it and while the different jobs I had that allowed me to talk to people about their “office jobs” or other obligations, I was actually living my purpose, just in a different way.

Since beginning my “official” business (all of a month ago), I have come to realize the coaching piece is what comes naturally to me.  Asking the right questions.  Getting to the core of the issue.  Helping clients take that next step etc. has all been easy, but I am learning a lot about other aspects of running an online business.  And like many of my clients who are just stepping into what they were meant to do, I often find myself getting frustrated or impatient about what I don’t yet know.

I realized today that I am not alone and neither are you.   learning

Not only did I again get a few newsletters delivered right to my inbox with the “how-to” instructions on things I don’t yet know, I also had a chat with a good friend who was going through a similar situation.  (By the way, I highly encourage you to sign up for the free newsletters of your favorite blogs because you can get really great information for free and often in the exact moment you need it.  Keep an eye out because I will have my own newsletter available soon.)

Here’s what I realized:

  • You don’t have to know everything at once in order to begin.  Simply take the tiny steps and follow your inspiration and you will likely find the resources, money, opportunities, connections etc. just come to you right when you need them.  It’s the magic of leading with your inspirational foot.
  • It’s really not fair for you to compare your journey to anyone especially if they have been doing it longer.  They too had to find the answers and figure it out so don’t fret when you find you business Facebook page doesn’t have as many likes as your mentor (ahem, I might be coaching  myself here), or that it is taking a bit longer to find the right publisher for your book.  Keep doing what you love and following your inspiration and you will reap the benefits.
  • This is part of the journey and while we often believe we set goals only to achieve them, the journey should be fun.  If it’s not what’s the point.  So stop worrying and find the joy in learning, growing, and evolving into the new, happier, dream-livin’ YOU!
  • Last but not least, you don’t have to do it alone.  There are coaches, guides, mentors, and ample resources out there for you to access.  We live in a time where all the information we want is accessible to us, so use it.  You don’t have to reinvent the wheel to get to where you want to be.  Let’s come together in community and help each other out.  Together we can do more anyway right?

Be easy with yourself and enjoy the process of learning your craft whatever that may be.  And if there are things that really take the joy out of your journey, pay someone else to do it if you can.  Don’t allow a little accounting, website snafu, or other frustration get the best of you.  There are people in the world following their dreams doing the exact thing you don’t enjoy, so why not let them?

And remember, you don’t have to know it all, be it all, and do it all this very moment, so take a break and give yourself a break!

Do you want to see how I can help you find the resources, money, opportunities, and connections to make your dreams a reality?  Contact me to set up a FREE coaching call, I would love to give you a bit of guidance.