Lamisha Serf-Walls

From Faith To Fear And Back Again

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I know I typically begin the week with either my Inspiration Round-up or Dreamer Highlight, but in light of keeping it real with you lovely readers, I decided to start the week this post instead.  It is something I have been dealing with in the past few weeks and I am sure many of you have (or will) go through it as well.

I spent most of June and July imagining, envisioning, and creating my coaching framework as well as figuring out how I would present the information to potential clients.  The process was very easy-going and high-flying as everything was so exciting.  I didn’t feel a sense of urgency to get things completed by a certain date because I was simply following my inspiration to the very next step.  I had this intuitive knowing that August 1st would be when I open practice up to take new clients.  I had an idea that once I did, clients would come to me and would immediately want to get started.  I even went so far as to set a goal for how many new clients I wanted to book by the end of the month.

We are halfway through the month and I am not anywhere near my goal.  Fear

Bummer.

Actually it hit me much harder than just a “bummer” moment.  In fact, I have found myself deep in the throes of doubtful thinking, fear, and disbelief. My self-talk was running rampant as I condescendingly asked myself “How could you actually believe it would take off so easily?”

This was an admittedly ugly place to be for sure.

As I began moving through the muck of self-doubt, I realized I had allowed fear to take the place of the light, easy-going faith I had as I created my coaching model seemingly effortlessly.  Through that process I kept reassuring myself (read my Ego) that I didn’t have to have it mapped out as to how, when, and who would want to work with me.  I just knew that as long as I do what I love and stay true to myself the people who are meant to work with me will.

While I might have doubted how quickly I would book clients, I never once questioned that life coaching is what I am meant to do.

This weekend I did some thinking about my client goal for this month and couldn’t help but wonder if I had made a mistake by having a number I wanted to hit for the month.  Instead of focusing on writing blog posts, working with my current awesome clients, and creating resources for my readers, I found myself keeping score of how many clients I had (or didn’t have).  And while we are taught in the traditional/logical business world to set goals, map out a plan, and execute, I am beginning to see that might not be the best tactic for me.  My philosophy does center around following my inspiration and the general goal setting is not all that inspirational for me.

So, I am happy to say I have moved through the muck and am moving back into trusting this process.  I honestly believe and know that if you do what you love, the rest will fall into place, so that is exactly what I plan on doing.

In the past two weeks I have moved from a place of faith in the process to fear and back again and I must say it feels so much better.

Do I think I will always be high-flying and trust the process?  Probably not, but I now know it is not where I have to stay.  I can allow my Ego to have her say before I kindly tell her to relax and trust the process.  And what is even better than that?  I can use my personal experience to help my clients who may be struggling with the same thing.

Where do you have doubts in your life?  I am interested to know how you deal with your own doubts, please feel free to share below!

 

Gratitude: Life Purpose and Inspirational Clients

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This week has been a bit hairy, but in between juggling many tasks, I felt something I have been longing to feel for years.

A feeling of “Yes, THIS is what I am meant to do!”

I have always known that I wanted to be a life coach at honestly thought I would be pretty good at it, but this week I received the ooey-gooey feeling of exhilaration mixed with joy mixed with inspiration that let me know, this is my purpose.

image from michelleparsons.com
image from michelleparsons.com

I wish I could tell you the exact moment it hit, but I can’t.  I honestly think it was a culmination of working with two incredible clients this week who both had some major breakthroughs.  I had a feeling of awe, wonder, and excitement for their growth and am honored to be able to work with such wonderful women.  I also realized that with each new session we complete, I am also learning and evolving into a better coach.  I constantly leave my sessions feeling inspired, amazed, and content with the work I am doing.

If you told me a year ago I would be a life coach, and I would be enjoying the work that I do so much that I have a hard time falling asleep, I wouldn’t have believed you.  At that time I didn’t know it was possible.  I didn’t know, what I didn’t know.

I had no idea it was possible to simply follow your heart and allow the pieces to fall into place.  I didn’t know there was another path to the most logical and sensible path I kept revisiting.  I didn’t know I had the power to create a life and career that I both loved and appreciated daily.

I just didn’t know…

My guess is that many of you feel the same way.  You may not see the way out of a particular job or know how to get things rolling with your dream life.  Maybe all the reasons you think you can’t do it right now seem logical, but I bet if you tapped into your heart and could hear what it had to say, you would realize there are a million ways your dream can come true.  The logical option is only one.

My life purpose is to help people follow their hearts to live the life of their dreams.  It is to facilitate and co-create an amazing journey where clients leave their sessions feeling refreshed, revitalized, and inspired to keep going.

If you are interested in what coaching can do for you, feel free to contact me at lamisha@lifeoncedreamt.com to set up a FREE 30-minute intro session.  I would love to chat with you!

Life Coach: Guide Not Guru

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guidance

A few months ago I heard one of my favorite radio personalities scoff at life coaches as some airy-fairy-hippy-thing that no one really needs.  He went on to explain how he didn’t understand the concept and that only really confused people needed a coach to live their lives.  It was in that moment I realized there are probably many people in the world that don’t know what life coaching is and have some assumptions about coaching that aren’t entirely true (or just simply wrong).  I thought it would be good to share my definition of a life coach and what exactly I do when I work with a client.

According to The Free Dictionary “a life coach is a person whose job is to improve the quality of his or her client’s life, by offering advice on professional and personal matters, such as career, health, personal relationships, etc.”

The idea that it is my job to improve my clients lives couldn’t be further from what I do.  In my work, I work with the client to help them identify challenges, frustrations, fears, etc. that may be limiting them in their lives.  From there we work together to come up with action steps, exercises etc. that will assist them in overcoming these factors and ultimately lead them to accomplish their goals/dreams.

I don’t like to think of myself as a guru of anything because it leads to the idea that I know it all, and I don’t.  What I like to think of myself as is a guide.  I help clients find their inner power to create the life of their dreams, by following the inspired path and their hearts.  I may provide homework, offer suggestions, and ask questions to dig deeper on any given issue, but ultimately it is up to my client’s to take the action steps necessary to achieve their dreams.  I am simply a guide to assist in the journey.

While I do have my own philosophy that I use for coaching, it is only one of many methods available.  I trust that the clients that are drawn to me and my work are meant to work with me while others may choose another coach, and that is okay.

If you would like more information about what I do or are interested in scheduling a free introductory session please visit “My Story” or email me at lamisha@lifeoncedreamt.com.

 

My Coaching Philosophy-The Inspired Path

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inspiration2

I find it interesting how many of us live in our heads.  Our thoughts take over as we analyze our life options and choices to a point that we almost become obsessive.  We weigh the pros and cons of our choices in order to make the right decision, all the while forgetting and simply ignoring how we feel.  We have become so disconnected from our hearts that we often don’t even allow our feelings to register.  We dismiss them as nothing more than an inconvenience to getting things done, but what if instead of making choices with our analytical monkey brains, we took a moment to feel each option?

In the past I have made my decisions based on logic and analysis.  I graduated high school knowing that the next logical step was college.  When I selected a major I decided on something that was feasible and somewhat interesting, though I had no idea what I truly wanted to do and when I found something that really hit an inspirational nerve with me, I ignored it.  I continued down that path of “logical” thinking and decision-making for many years, though there were moments when I followed my heart and ignored my head.  In those moments, there was no weighing my options, I simply knew what I needed to do yet more often than not, I worried, analyzed, and weighed my logical options.  Options that seemed somewhat safe.

When I decided to set out on my own and throw myself a curve ball in my career plans, I developed a coaching model that is primarily based out of inspiration and how we feel.  I found that in my own choices to not follow the logical path, I felt alive, inspired, and made incredible progress toward my dreams.  I encourage my clients to do the same.

Follow your heart, your passion, and your bliss and if the logical path feels right, do that too.

We are moving beyond a world of people who are punching the clock to simply survive and into a world of creative souls fulfilling their deepest desires.  My goal is to help those creative souls trust their instinct and their inspiration to do something that makes their heart sing.  Life isn’t meant to be a struggle full of headaches and speed bumps.  It’s meant to be enjoyed, experienced, embraced, and by golly it’s supposed to be FUN.

If you find yourself questioning your life purpose are wondering where your passion lies, just follow your heart and do things that make you happy.

The logical path isn’t the only path to your dreams though many times it is the most difficult.  Instead of believing there is only one path available, be open to the idea that there are many paths that will lead you to the life of your dreams and if you lead with your heart and follow the inspirational nuggets along the way, any path you take will be wonderful and will likely fill your soul with more happiness than you ever imagined possible.

Still not sure how to get started?  Feel free to contact me at lamisha@lifeoncedreamt.com for more information on how I can help you jump-start your dreams.

P.S.  I will be holding a week of free introductory coaching calls in the coming weeks for those of you interested in working with me, so stay tuned for more information on that soon.  I am so excited to begin working with dreamers like you who want to begin living the life you once dreamt sooner rather than later.

For Love or Money

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I have thought a lot about satisfaction in the workplace in recent years and can’t help but wonder how many people are actually doing work that they love?  My guess is not too many.

For many years I have surveyed (for my own interest) different people who I have worked with and asked them how happy they are in their job.  Most of them look at me quizzically, not understanding the question.  It seems a large portion of our population has succumbed to the thought that the work that you do is just that…work.  Work is not meant to be enjoyed, not meant to be fun, and is simply a means to an end.  The end being paying bills, saving for retirement, and taking care of everyday expenses etc.  And even though I just recently (in the last 2 years or so), have come to the realization regarding the work I am meant to do, the idea that work is just work has never been something that sat well with me.  In fact I realize now, all the time I had been asking different people if they enjoyed their work, I was trying to figure out how they got there.  The challenge is that I never found one person that said, “Yes, I love this!”  That is not to say those people aren’t out there, I am sure there are many people who enjoy their work, I just haven’t spoken to them.

 
I understand for the most part why a lot of people aren’t doing work that they love.  It stems partially from the society that we live in that requires us to make a decision in our college years to determine what we want to do for the rest of our lives.  The reality is that what we choose during college doesn’t always translate into work after college(says the writer who has a Bachelors in Exercise Science and a Masters in Psychology, but isn’t doing either of those things and is looking for a new career).  For instance, I had an interest in fitness, but didn’t know where I wanted to go with it after college.  By the time I realized it probably wasn’t something I would enjoy for the long haul, I already had too many credit hours to switch to something else, and I didn’t even know what I wanted to switch to.  I wanted/needed to graduate so I stuck with the fitness degree.  Fast forward a few years and you would find me enrolling in a Masters program for Psychology with an idea of helping people.  Still unsure of the path I would take, I finished the degree and finally (a few years after that) found my calling.  I was meant to be a life coach.

I think another reason many people don’t follow their dream career is because sometimes dreams don’t seem “practical”.  I had a friend in college who was (and still is) a wonderful artist.  She was accepted into a prestigious art program not far from her home and because her mother didn’t think that art could pay the bills, she was forced into a career in business and finance, a far cry from the creative outlet she was looking for.

I have often thought about the conundrum of doing work for love or for money and wondered how many people have ever really thought about the work that they do.  Most people probably do their work for the income it brings in, even if it isn’t as much as they would like to make from it.  In an economy that still seems unsteady, it seems irresponsible, frivolous, and some may say just plain stupid to give up a “sure thing” job to dive head first into a dream that you may never achieve.  I beg to differ.  While I am absolutely a numbers gal and can be very practical when it comes to money and finances, I am also a dreamer, creator, and artist.

I was meant to do work that I love.

Looking back I now realize a part of me has always pushed me into work that I love be it choreography, being a dance teacher and coach, but most of all talking to people and motivating them to do the things they love.  I have always been doing this, only now am I seeing it from the stand point of a career.  A career that would make me excited to get up everyday.  Something that would allow me to help others and to push people to realize their dreams and have the courage to achieve them.  For me it hasn’t ever been about money.  I have taken “jobs” just because I need to pay the bills, but I have a bigger vision in mind.  I want to do the work that makes my heart sing.  For me it’s more about the love of what I do than the money I make doing it.  Sure, I have bills to pay, retirement to save for, and a family to help support, but I know that if I am doing the work that I love, it will all work out.  It won’t happen magically in a year or two and it will take some hard work, financial planning, and dedication to my career, but if I can do work that I love, it is icing on the cake.

So let me ask you this…do you do what you do for love or for money?  And if it isn’t for love, can you do what you love as a career?  It might require a bit of outside the box thinking, but I am sure there is a way.