Lamisha Serf-Walls

Ease Into It

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The other day I set an intention to get my fitness and meditation practices back on track, and yesterday was my first day back.  I was happy to find nice weather outside as I began my extended walk/jog on my lunch break and that optimistic feeling might have caused me to over-estimate my current fitness level.

As I began I warmed up a bit by walking and with the sun shining down on me boy was I feeling good. I felt so good that I broke out into a jog, thinking I could at least jog half of the total distance.  I was wrong.  I found very quickly that I am much more out of shape than I thought and realized I should probably walk before I run.  And as you may already know  patience is not my forte, and sometimes I have a difficult time easing into things.  As I huffed and puffed, I decided to listen to my body and walk the remainder of the distance, but instead of berating myself and judging my lack of progress, I used it as an opportunity to really enjoy my surroundings.  It turned out to be a very lovely walk, leaving me feeling energetic and focused for the rest of my day, a sure sign that exercise and fresh air does wonders for the mind and body.  I also realized that had I not listened to my body, I would have felt very differently about my new fitness regime and over the course of the day I kept thinking…you have to ease into it.

That thought stuck with me because while it applies to my health and fitness plans, it also relates to my dreams as well.  I often find myself passionate and excited about a new project or idea and I want to dive in head first and I have found that if I do the unfortunate result is burn out.  (My two previous attempts at blogging is a great example.)  And while my passion and drive may never cease (at least I hope it doesn’t), I am reminded that in order for my dreams and goals to last, I have to ease into them.

What does that mean?

In regards to my life coaching career it means allowing myself the space to learn along the way, to plan for unforeseen challenges, and enjoy the ride.  There’s a concept I often forget…enjoying the ride.  I have often been so focused (and frustrated) on getting there, that I have found myself dismissing my little victories along the way and forgetting that the journey is really the best part.  And though I will be extremely proud, excited, and feeling over the moon once my business really takes off, I will feel that way because of all the things I did to get there.  The planning, writing, saving, creating, and all the other wonderful things that go into building a business are all things I want to truly experience and if I were to jump in head first, I might miss everything it takes to get there.

I don’t want to miss that.

I want to take it one step at a time (did I just say that?) in order to not only do it the right way, but the right way for me.  It may not be the way everyone else would do it, but then again I am not everyone else.  I am me.  I am passionate about helping people.  I am creative and I am absolutely in love with the idea of helping people achieve their own dreams and as I learn what it takes to achieve mine, I will be that much better at helping someone else.  Those are the things that excite me and allow me to take a step back and say “I will do this”.

So I have decided that while my passion is what fuels my ideas, creations, and my life, it’s something I want to last and so I will be patient.  I will enjoy the journey as it unfolds, be present in each experience, and keep my vision alive, both for my dream of being a life coach, and my intention of getting my health back on track.  But above all else, I am learning more and more, that life is a wonderful journey, and if you can’t enjoy the journey, the destination won’t mean all that much anyways.

Links that Inspire

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I am always looking for blogs, books, or other material that inspires me to keep moving forward on my path to achieving my dreams and I thought I would share a few with you, in hopes that you may be equally inspired.

When I first began my research on life coaches I found an awesome life coach that not only had a clear vision, but an awesome personality to share with the world. Her passion is contagious, her intentions are clear, and her purpose is ever evolving. I have followed the When I Grow Up Coach (Michelle Ward) for almost two years now and I have watched her business evolve as she has been forced to focus on her own health due to being diagnosed, treated, and in remission of breast cancer. I loved her energy before she was diagnosed and her fortitude and “go with the flow” attitude has done nothing but grow since then. There is no better way to put it than to say she is “amazeballs” a term she uses frequently on her own blog. For her story, her amazing energy, and to find out more about her life coaching business check her out here.

Another blog I stumbled upon in the last year or so is a blog all about designing a life with intention. Jess Lively is a designer and small business consultant that is helping people build their business with intention, something she has done since she started her jewelry line at age 15. I am inspired by her ability to live her life in a way that is very intentional and methodical. Doing what works for her and her husband even if it goes against the proverbial grain. I can relate to her in so many ways, and I am encouraged to continue on my path, even when it doesn’t go along with the majority, and build my life based around the intentions I have set for myself and my family. Our lives are our own, and no one says that you should live it like everyone else. Jess Lively is a perfect example of living life with intention and I am constantly inspired to continue to create and hone my own life intentions the more I read about her journey. I hope you find her equally as inspiring.

The last inspirational person/site I want to share with you is Lilou Mace and her Juicy Living Tour project. I happened to find one of Lilou’s many youtube videos when I was doing some research on the Law of Attraction. I was immediately drawn to her energetic personality and zest for life and became instantly inspired to create that same sense of adventure in my own life. Lilou Mace is an amazing visionary. She shares videos of interviews she conducts all over the world with people who are all working to co-create a world that is more peaceful and loving and shares their stories of how they are changing the world one day at a time. Her spiritual essence is contagious and my motivation is renewed each time I watch one of her videos. Moving from losing a job to finally achieving her dreams, she reminds me of the importance of faith. Having the faith to believe my dreams will become reality even if I can’t see the exact path right now, and as my journey unfolds, she reminds me to live in each moment fully (a lesson I am continually learning every day). I invite you to check out her Juicy Living Tour project and see how your own motivation and inspiration is affected.

I hope you find some inspiration in the links I have shared above, and even if they aren’t exactly in line with your own interests, I hope they show you that anything is possible, no matter what your dreams may be.

What are some links, blogs, or books that inspire you and keep you moving forward?

***Please note all information listed above are my own opinions and I have not been provided any compensation for sharing the links, businesses, or people listed in this post.***

What can you do now???

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It isn’t often that dreams happen overnight.  If it were that easy, everyone would have accomplished their dreams long ago.  The reality is that any goal, dream, or aspiration takes time, patience, planning, and a lot of hard work.  I have often felt stuck or frustrated because my dreams weren’t materializing as quickly as I would like and it seemed that even taking the first step was more difficult than I thought it would be.  So I often ask myself the question, “What do you do when you are waiting for the pieces to fall into place?”

What can you do NOW?

The first thing I did when I realized (and realized again) that life coaching was the path for me, was a lot of research.  I looked at websites for different life coaches to see what it was all about, even though I had a vague understanding of what the job entailed, I wanted to see how others were doing it.  So I scoured the internet for as many life coach as I could find.  This just happened to be right around the time we were planning on moving to SC, so I thought it would be a good opportunity to see if there were any life coaches in the area we were moving to and see if maybe they could use some help in their business.  I learned very quickly life coaching isn’t really that type of business.  I did, however find one woman who was willing to speak with me regarding her experience with her business and the training she went through before starting her business.  After speaking with her I thought I would feel inspired and motivated to keep moving forward, but what I felt was the exact opposite.  I realized the first person I spoke to was in it purely for the money, ironically enough it can be a tough business to be in for the money.

While I was slightly discouraged, the passion for helping people achieve their dreams didn’t stop.  So I kept talking about my dream with some of my friends and realized my best friend knew not one, but two life coaches.  She was able to connect me with one that was able to explain to me her process, training, and overall business and the conversation was wonderful.  I left the conversation feeling more empowered, more excited, and more motivated than I had been before.  I was on my way.

Many months passed with our move and settling into a new area and I began to feel stuck again.  Now I knew what I was meant to do, and I really just wanted to jump right in and do it.  I was mentally ready to begin my training courses, however I had no idea what programs would be best, what the cost would entail etc.  So the next logical step was to research the programs and find the best one for me.  It took me a few weeks to read through the different program options and weigh all of the pros and cons, but I finally found the program for me.  The next step would be to get the money together to begin the courses so I could keep moving forward, but one of my goals along this process is to limit any new debt and to ensure that when I begin my programming I have paid off as much as possible.  Incurring new debt for this purpose was not something I wanted to do.  So, I made a decision to spend some time paying down some of my debt first, and then beginning my program a bit later.  A task that requires a lot of patience and faith.

So that is where I am today.  Part of beginning this blog was the result of the thought…What can I do NOW??  I needed to be able to reach out to people to motivate, inspire, and empower them even if I couldn’t do it through life coaching…yet.  It has certainly allowed me to feel better about moving forward, bit by bit, to reach my goals and while there are still some days when I want to just throw my plans to the side and dive right in, I know that my planning and patience will benefit me in the long run.

The moral of this story is this: Even if you feel you can’t jump right into your goal, find something you can do today that will put you a little bit closer to it and keep you inspired to continue moving forward.  If you want to write a book (one of my dreams), maybe you can begin with writing one page a day.  What ever your dream may be, thee is always something you can do today.  You just have to figure out what that is.

I am a reformed believer that there is always something you can do to put you closer to your goals no matter how far away they may seem.  Each step makes a huge difference and will keep you on right track.

My question for you today is this: What can you do today to put you a little bit closer to your dream?

It’s just a phase

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Recently bedtime in my house has been anything but peaceful as my partner and I have struggled to get our 2-year-old to fall asleep in his own bed.  Our night-time routine begins just like every other night with a bath, story, and cuddles, and after the lights go out we spend the next 2-2 1/2 hours trying to coax our little one to sleep.  Each night I try to figure him out as I wonder if maybe he just isn’t tired or he napped too long that day and each night as I ask my partner (the logical one in our house) for a solution she reminds me as she has many times before..it’s just a phase.

That thought stuck with me tonight as I tried desperately to find the solution (again) to our bedtime challenge and as my mind wandered and I allowed the words to sink in, I realized we are all going through our own phases.

Our lives are composed of a chain of phases starting from the time we are born up through adulthood.  Some phases come and go, while others stick around for much longer and there are times when people tend to get stuck in one particular phase for the rest of their lives without growing into the next.

It’s all a part of life.

Many times in my life I have felt stuck, wanting so badly to move forward without knowing how or why.  I have been frustrated, confused, angry, and just plain worn out from the fight between where I am and where I want to be.  I have often felt like I was standing in one place as I watched my dreams float on by, wondering if I could ever get unstuck and catch up with them.  Looking back what was really happening is that I didn’t know I was going through a phase and while I’m not entirely sure what that particular phase was, I now know if I had embraced it as opposed to fighting it, I probably would have moved through it much faster than I actually did.

This year alone I have felt stuck more times than I care to count in regards to moving forward with my life coach training.  It felt that the resources and money just weren’t there, yet every avenue I attempted in order to create the income I needed were leaving me empty-handed and confused.  I began questioning my path and wondered if the Universe was simply leading me in a different direction.  When I listened to my heart, I found I wasn’t being lead in a different direction entirely.  Instead I realized there were a few other things I needed to do before I could continue on my path.

I realized that this is just a phase.  Just as my 2-year-old will learn to fall asleep on his own, I too will get the resources together to begin my life coach training and move into a new phase. Somehow just realizing it is a phase makes me feel better about it and allows me to feel less stuck.

You have probably gone through (or are going through) your own phases.  Maybe you too felt stuck in one place as you continued to fight your way forward toward something you wanted in your life and it has left you feeling confused, frustrated, and just plain tired.

The thing about phases is you don’t always know the name, or how long they will last, but if you go with the flow instead of fighting it, it just might pass by faster than you think.  Don’t allow a plateau in your growth to spoil your inspiration or motivation for achieving your dreams and most of all don’t question what you know in your heart you are meant to do.

Sometimes instead of saying not this, the Universe is simply saying not yet.  

What brings you joy?

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If money wasn’t an issue and you could do anything as your career or job, what would it be?

I have probably asked that question to 100 different people.  Sometimes I ask out of pure curiosity, while other times I am hoping to inspire.  Most of the people I ask are miserable at their current job and yet they feel as if they have no other choice.  It is easy to feel that way, especially in this economy where jobs are scarce and you feel lucky just to be working.  Typically the answers I get are thought of as hobbies or interests, but if you dig a little deeper they are things these individuals would do simply for the joy it brings them.

Once I get an answer to the first question, I follow-up with this.  Well why aren’t you doing that?  I generally get a laundry list of reasons why they can’t, won’t, don’t have the time/money/resources etc. to do the things that bring them joy.  It is at that moment I realize most people aren’t doing things that they love because they have grown to believe that it isn’t worthwhile.  Some believe doing something for the simple joy of it is a waste of time and might just be a little selfish.

I couldn’t disagree more.  I believe we are all meant to do the things that bring us joy and the more we do it, the happier we are.  So why do we believe that our happiness is wrong?

If someone asked me the same question I have asked so many (and believe me I have asked myself many times), I would say this: I want to help people find their joy and inspire, empower, and encourage them to do the things they didn’t think they could do.  I have done this in many ways throughout my life through coaching high school kids, encouraging my friends and co-workers, but I decided I wanted something more.  I am now choosing to allow my joy to become my career as a life coach, (in the not too distant future), and I can’t wait to go to “work” loving what I do every single day. (I will share more about how I decided that life coaching was for me in another post, stay tuned.)

I believe in doing things that bring us joy and happiness.  I believe in the magical essence of dreams fulfilled and wishes coming true, but most of all, I believe each one of us have the ability and opportunity to do the things make us happy, but like with everything else in life, it is a choice.  You make the choice to give yourself permission to be happy.  You make the choice to dream.  You make the choice to set an intention to do work you love and believe that the money and everything else that is needed will follow.  What do you choose?  A guaranteed mediocre future, or the unknown with more possibilities for happiness than you can even imagine?

With that said my question to you is this…If money wasn’t an issue and you could do anything as your career/job, what would it be and are you doing it?  Leave me a comment, I would love to know!