Lamisha Serf-Walls

Identifying Your Gift

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Last week I wrote a post about finding your gift, embracing it, and sharing it with the world and I wanted to go a little deeper into those three pieces.

I have come across many people in the world who don’t believe they have much to give in this world and are honestly blind to the wonderful gifts they have and use everyday.  Sure, they have interests and hobbies, but nothing they deem is of value to the world.

If you are one of those people, know that you DO have a gift to share and if you aren’t sure how to find it, read on.

While traditional society can make a big deal about doctors, lawyers, famous musicians, and artists, the truth is most of us don’t fall into any of those categories.  In fact, each gift we have, even if it is similar to someone else, is unique to us because of our life experiences.  No two singers, actors, dancers, writers, editors, boat-makers, professional golfers, or anyone else has the same experience to share with the world.  Each perspective is unique and beautiful and adds amazing value to the world because no matter how hard we try, we can’t all reach every single person with our gifts.

So how do you find what your gift might be?Gift

  • Think about what you do naturally.  What comes easy to you?  What are you known for in your social circles?  Maybe it’s communicating, organizing, styling, fixing things, etc.  It doesn’t have to be one single thing.  It can (and is likely to) be many things.
  • Think about what you enjoy doing.  Many times our thing is something we love to do.  For me, it is inspiring, writing, and helping people get unstuck along with many other things I enjoy doing.  What is it for you?
  • Ask around.  See what your parents, teachers, friends, co-workers, and employers say about you.  Many times other people can see your gifts much more clearly than we can because of our perspective and sometimes the lack of confidence that comes with it.
  • Get rid of the “shoulds”.  Far too often we have an idea of what we “should” be doing in life.  “I should do something more professional, worthwhile, more important” etc.  Let go of what others believe you should become and think of who you are.  Who do you want to become?

My last bit of advice is to be easy about it all.  The joy of life is that we can pick and choose and revamp and edit our lives as we see fit.  If one thing doesn’t feel right, we can try something else.  If we make a mistake, no biggie, we can try and try again.  Don’t allow these exercises to be so big and scary that you find yourself intimidated.  Just go with the flow and see where your thoughts take you.

Also, remember that as human beings we grow, change, and evolve, so the passion you had two years ago may not be the same.  You may also find you have many things you enjoy doing, but to different degrees.  For instance, I was once a part-time choreographer/dance coach for competitive high school teams.  It is something that is near and dear to my heart and while I am not doing much with that particular gift at the moment, that doesn’t mean I will never tap into it again.  I am simply allowing another part of myself shine and that is totally ok.

Take some time to answer the questions above and feel free to share in the comments section.  I would love to know what gifts you discover!

 

Lessons Learned in Attitude, Faith, and Signs

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I don’t know about you, but this week has offered me many opportunities for growth which also means it has had it’s fair share of challenges…and by fair share I mean A LOT.  However, I would like to think I have taken each one in stride and learned a little along the way.

Lesson: Attitude is everything. Attitude

In the last week my family and I have been in a car accident (everyone is ok thank goodness), I found out the company I work for full-time is eliminating my position in the next 3 months, and our washer died-all of which happened before we were heading out-of-town for a nice relaxing weekend away.  While any one of these occurrences could have sent me into an anxiety-ridden-tizzy, I took each one as it came and tried to focus on the good.  I couldn’t change the fact that we had tons of paperwork to deal with due to the accident, but I could be grateful we were all safe.  I couldn’t beg to stay with my current company, but I am able to be grateful that they gave me 3 months notice.  I can’t fix the washer on my own, but we can figure out a way to make it work.  Did it seem like the Universe was delivering a huge storm of gloom this past week, yes, but in changing my attitude even just a little, I was able to see the bright side.  Did I get there immediately?  No.  After a little bit of shock and some tears I decided the only thing I could change was my attitude and that is just what I did.

Lesson: If you have faith that everything will work out for the best, nothing can stop you.

FaithMoments after I received the news about my full-time job, I broke down into tears.  There was a distinct feeling of “what am I going to do?” coupled with a feeling of overwhelming calm.  It sounds weird I know, but it was almost as if, part of me knew without a shadow of a doubt that this moment was the beginning of something far greater than the job I had.  I gave myself a few minutes to feel the worry for the future and afterwards, I felt the faith and trust in my heart that all would be just fine.  And while I have had moments of “I wonder how, or when, or what…”, my faith is there keeping me moving in the right direction.

Lessons:  If you are open, the Universe will deliver signs that let you know you are on the right track.

I have talked about inspirational nuggets that serve as gentle nudges leading us to the next step in our journey and while I didn’t receive any specific signs of where to turn next, I did receive (what I believe to be) signs that everything is going to be just fine.

Right after hearing the news about my full-time position being eliminated, I had an appointment to go to.  On the way I was talking to a friend about my faith in the process and how I just knew this was opening my world to something far greater than I could imagine.  As I was going on about what may be in my future, I saw a field of probably 100 white birds that I had never seen before.  There were so many, I had to take notice and as I did, I saw one was perched on the fence close to the street.  He seemed to be watching my car drive by.  I told my friend about what I had just seen and she said this was my confirmation that all was going to be ok and I had a feeling she was right.  A bit later when I drove by again the bird was still perched on the fence and he caught my eye again.  At this point I was convinced there was some sort of message or sign.

Photo from: www.jrcompton.com
Photo from: www.jrcompton.com

Now I am all about symbolic meaning, synchronicities, no coincidences etc. and this felt like one of those moments so I was eager to know what type of bird it was and any symbolic meaning behind it.

I found that the bird was either an Egret or a Heron and they symbolize peace, going with the flow, patience, prosperity, good luck, self-reliance etc.  I was amazed and comforted, but most of all excited for what the future holds for me.  As it unfolds, I will continue to be open to the signs, symbols, and inspirational nuggets that will guide the way.

So, that is what I have learned this week.  What have you learned?

From Faith To Fear And Back Again

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I know I typically begin the week with either my Inspiration Round-up or Dreamer Highlight, but in light of keeping it real with you lovely readers, I decided to start the week this post instead.  It is something I have been dealing with in the past few weeks and I am sure many of you have (or will) go through it as well.

I spent most of June and July imagining, envisioning, and creating my coaching framework as well as figuring out how I would present the information to potential clients.  The process was very easy-going and high-flying as everything was so exciting.  I didn’t feel a sense of urgency to get things completed by a certain date because I was simply following my inspiration to the very next step.  I had this intuitive knowing that August 1st would be when I open practice up to take new clients.  I had an idea that once I did, clients would come to me and would immediately want to get started.  I even went so far as to set a goal for how many new clients I wanted to book by the end of the month.

We are halfway through the month and I am not anywhere near my goal.  Fear

Bummer.

Actually it hit me much harder than just a “bummer” moment.  In fact, I have found myself deep in the throes of doubtful thinking, fear, and disbelief. My self-talk was running rampant as I condescendingly asked myself “How could you actually believe it would take off so easily?”

This was an admittedly ugly place to be for sure.

As I began moving through the muck of self-doubt, I realized I had allowed fear to take the place of the light, easy-going faith I had as I created my coaching model seemingly effortlessly.  Through that process I kept reassuring myself (read my Ego) that I didn’t have to have it mapped out as to how, when, and who would want to work with me.  I just knew that as long as I do what I love and stay true to myself the people who are meant to work with me will.

While I might have doubted how quickly I would book clients, I never once questioned that life coaching is what I am meant to do.

This weekend I did some thinking about my client goal for this month and couldn’t help but wonder if I had made a mistake by having a number I wanted to hit for the month.  Instead of focusing on writing blog posts, working with my current awesome clients, and creating resources for my readers, I found myself keeping score of how many clients I had (or didn’t have).  And while we are taught in the traditional/logical business world to set goals, map out a plan, and execute, I am beginning to see that might not be the best tactic for me.  My philosophy does center around following my inspiration and the general goal setting is not all that inspirational for me.

So, I am happy to say I have moved through the muck and am moving back into trusting this process.  I honestly believe and know that if you do what you love, the rest will fall into place, so that is exactly what I plan on doing.

In the past two weeks I have moved from a place of faith in the process to fear and back again and I must say it feels so much better.

Do I think I will always be high-flying and trust the process?  Probably not, but I now know it is not where I have to stay.  I can allow my Ego to have her say before I kindly tell her to relax and trust the process.  And what is even better than that?  I can use my personal experience to help my clients who may be struggling with the same thing.

Where do you have doubts in your life?  I am interested to know how you deal with your own doubts, please feel free to share below!

 

The Real Deal…

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When I first set out to create my blog, I had this idea to keep most posts upbeat and positive.  I wanted this to be a place of inspiration, motivation, and information to help people move confidently in the direction of their dreams.  I wanted it to be a space of uplifting posts, quotes, and tips to help readers focus on the positive.  As a life coach, I thought it was my duty to keep things light, bright, and positive all the time.

I was wrong.

What I think makes me good at what I do is the fact that I am human and I struggle with many of the same issues my clients do.  I have bad days full of frustration, doubt, and sometimes fear.  I have had my experience with the Dream Crusher on more than one occasion, and there are days when I need to be reminded that I have the power and ability to live the life of my dreams.

I am not perfect.  Authenticity

I don’t always pounce out of bed with a beaming smile and positive attitude.  Sometimes I try too hard and more often than not, I need to take a step back from the immediate issue and look at the bigger picture.  My life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows.  I often struggle with disappointment and worry as I move through my journey and instead of sharing those moments with you, I have remained silent.

There have been many days when I wanted to share something uplifting, but I simply wasn’t in that state of mind and instead of sharing with you my perspective and how I am learning to deal with various situations, I write nothing at all.  I have allowed my idea of being a super-human up-lifter get in the way of sharing my authentic self with you.  For that I am sorry.

Does it make me any less of a coach to confess that I don’t always have it together?  I don’t think so.  In fact, I think it makes me a more effective coach because I know what it is like to have down moments in life.  We all do.  And while I admit to having my fair share of struggles, I also have a variety of tools that I use to help combat those not-so-positive moments and they are tools that I want to share with you.

The truth is I love what I do.  I love working with people and helping them follow their inspiration to live the life of their dreams, but I don’t want to misrepresent myself in the process.  I am an up-lifter that sometimes needs to be uplifted and I’m ok with that, because isn’t that what life is all about?  It’s not about being perfect, it’s about learning, sharing, and experiencing life as much as possible.  And I have to say, if it wasn’t for the struggles I have (and will) encounter in life, I wouldn’t be able to help my clients deal with their own, because sometimes you have to go through it to understand it.

 

Gratitude: Progress and Motherhood

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gratitude

Too often when we are on this journey called life, we are so focused on the ultimate outcome of various goals that we miss the beautiful progression along the way.  The stepping-stones that lead us up the mountain to our dreams are what keep us going.  They too must be celebrated.

With that said, I am so very grateful for progress.  In just a few conversations this week I have received some much-needed knowledge that is one of the many stepping-stones along my journey.  The information I received came in the natural flow of conversation with a friend and I love how those little inspirational nuggets pop up so organically.  It seems that when you take a breather from trying to figure it all out, you make the most progress and I am so grateful for the wonderful progress I made this week.  I look forward to continuing my journey with more breathes in between to allow more of the details to fill in naturally.  I don’t have to have it all figured out now, and neither do you.  Just be grateful for the wonderful flow and progress of life.  It’s the flow that makes life so sweet.

In addition to being grateful for progress this week, I am also so very grateful for the journey of motherhood.  While Mother’s Day is typically a time for appreciating the mothers in our lives, I find that it is also a time where mothers are grateful for having the incredible opportunity of mothering a child.  I find that it is an incredible blessing that I don’t take for granted.  Time flies when you are having fun and it seems that before you know it little ones are towering over you.  Luckily enough my little one is far from towering over me, but he certainly is growing like a little weed.  Knowing that time doesn’t exactly slow down, I am savoring the wonderful moments we have together now.

I hope you find many things to savor and be grateful for this weekend and a very Happy Mother’s Day to all of the moms out there!