Lamisha Serf-Walls

For Love or Money

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I have thought a lot about satisfaction in the workplace in recent years and can’t help but wonder how many people are actually doing work that they love?  My guess is not too many.

For many years I have surveyed (for my own interest) different people who I have worked with and asked them how happy they are in their job.  Most of them look at me quizzically, not understanding the question.  It seems a large portion of our population has succumbed to the thought that the work that you do is just that…work.  Work is not meant to be enjoyed, not meant to be fun, and is simply a means to an end.  The end being paying bills, saving for retirement, and taking care of everyday expenses etc.  And even though I just recently (in the last 2 years or so), have come to the realization regarding the work I am meant to do, the idea that work is just work has never been something that sat well with me.  In fact I realize now, all the time I had been asking different people if they enjoyed their work, I was trying to figure out how they got there.  The challenge is that I never found one person that said, “Yes, I love this!”  That is not to say those people aren’t out there, I am sure there are many people who enjoy their work, I just haven’t spoken to them.

 
I understand for the most part why a lot of people aren’t doing work that they love.  It stems partially from the society that we live in that requires us to make a decision in our college years to determine what we want to do for the rest of our lives.  The reality is that what we choose during college doesn’t always translate into work after college(says the writer who has a Bachelors in Exercise Science and a Masters in Psychology, but isn’t doing either of those things and is looking for a new career).  For instance, I had an interest in fitness, but didn’t know where I wanted to go with it after college.  By the time I realized it probably wasn’t something I would enjoy for the long haul, I already had too many credit hours to switch to something else, and I didn’t even know what I wanted to switch to.  I wanted/needed to graduate so I stuck with the fitness degree.  Fast forward a few years and you would find me enrolling in a Masters program for Psychology with an idea of helping people.  Still unsure of the path I would take, I finished the degree and finally (a few years after that) found my calling.  I was meant to be a life coach.

I think another reason many people don’t follow their dream career is because sometimes dreams don’t seem “practical”.  I had a friend in college who was (and still is) a wonderful artist.  She was accepted into a prestigious art program not far from her home and because her mother didn’t think that art could pay the bills, she was forced into a career in business and finance, a far cry from the creative outlet she was looking for.

I have often thought about the conundrum of doing work for love or for money and wondered how many people have ever really thought about the work that they do.  Most people probably do their work for the income it brings in, even if it isn’t as much as they would like to make from it.  In an economy that still seems unsteady, it seems irresponsible, frivolous, and some may say just plain stupid to give up a “sure thing” job to dive head first into a dream that you may never achieve.  I beg to differ.  While I am absolutely a numbers gal and can be very practical when it comes to money and finances, I am also a dreamer, creator, and artist.

I was meant to do work that I love.

Looking back I now realize a part of me has always pushed me into work that I love be it choreography, being a dance teacher and coach, but most of all talking to people and motivating them to do the things they love.  I have always been doing this, only now am I seeing it from the stand point of a career.  A career that would make me excited to get up everyday.  Something that would allow me to help others and to push people to realize their dreams and have the courage to achieve them.  For me it hasn’t ever been about money.  I have taken “jobs” just because I need to pay the bills, but I have a bigger vision in mind.  I want to do the work that makes my heart sing.  For me it’s more about the love of what I do than the money I make doing it.  Sure, I have bills to pay, retirement to save for, and a family to help support, but I know that if I am doing the work that I love, it will all work out.  It won’t happen magically in a year or two and it will take some hard work, financial planning, and dedication to my career, but if I can do work that I love, it is icing on the cake.

So let me ask you this…do you do what you do for love or for money?  And if it isn’t for love, can you do what you love as a career?  It might require a bit of outside the box thinking, but I am sure there is a way.

Make Room For Your Dreams

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I read a post last night from a friend regarding her experience of the “stuff” that is weighing her down and her intentions of letting it go.  It reminded me of something I have been thinking about for a few weeks now, as I have been making attempts to also clear out the old, to make room for the new (whatever that entails).

Have you ever heard the saying that when you open your hand to let go, it is also open to receive?  It can also be said that you must first let go of a little bit of your control to allow your dreams to manifest.  I think the same goes for making space, both literally and mentally, for your dreams to come true.  We often forget that in order to bring something new into our lives, we have to let go of the things that no longer serve us, be it behaviors, beliefs, or tangible objects that are blocking our ability to receive the resources we need to move forward.  Sometimes those beliefs, objects, or behaviors are all that we know and letting go of what we have always known for something that we can’t yet see is a scary venture.  I know, I have been there before.

The truth is our dreams are not guaranteed, but then again you could say that about anything in life.  The best we can do is have faith in ourselves and trust that we are not traveling this path by chance.  We are instead making a choice to live a life full of experiences, adventure and fulfilling our deepest desires and many times we must be willing to walk into the unknown to do it and sometimes that means letting go of the things that no longer serve your current reality to make room for the life you dream of.

I have always been much better at letting go of physical things than I am with letting go of my control (or perceived control as it may be).  I often find myself at the end of each season looking into my closet and donating items that no longer fit or things I haven’t worn in over a year.  I would much rather have the added space than the item I won’t use again.  When it comes to letting go of my expectations of myself or the beliefs I hold true about how my dreams should manifest, I am a bit more reluctant to let go.  Maybe it is because I am such a planner and when I get set on one plan, I begin to limit other possibilities.  Recently I have been thinking of what “stuff” I might need to let go of in order to receive the flow of energy, resources, and other contacts I need in order to make my dreams come true.

How can I make room for my dreams?

The first thing that comes to mind is time.  I hear people talking (myself included) about the lack of time they have, when really it is more about how you allocate your time.  Do you spend it doing things that will help benefit your dreams and goals or do you use it doing things that you feel you have to do?  Why not free up some time to do the things that will bring you closer to your dreams, no matter what it is?  For me this includes writing almost everyday.  I could become a much better writer if I committed to writing a little bit everyday and I could make the time if I got up only 30 minutes earlier each day.

Another thing I could do is clear out the belief that my dreams have to manifest based on the exact plan I have come up with.  My plan stems from what I believe is most feasible and realistic in achieving my dreams.  It is how I have come to know the world and my own abilities within it.  I know that by doing this I am not allowing the other innumerable possibilities to be an option.  My focus is so set on how I want it to happen, that I am quite possibly missing signs that could lead me in a direction I haven’t thought about.  I am by no means an expert in all the wonderful possibilities that my dreams could manifest, so how can I believe that there is only one way to do it?

I can’t.

I must be able to let go of the notion that I have it all planned out.  Sometimes, (actually most times) I don’t have the only way to do something and I frequently don’t even know the best way to do things.  When I let go of the idea that there is only one way to create my dreams, many more options present themselves.  The key is letting go and having faith that my dreams will come to fruition even if it isn’t the way I thought it would.  If I continue to believe in myself and my abilities and open my hands to release a bit of my control, my energy is then free to flow to the other possibilities that come my way.

So how can you make room for your dreams?  Do your dreams require you to pare down your belongings so you can travel the world for a year?  Maybe you want to start that business you have always wanted, but it means you have to free up some time, money, and space for that business to come alive.  Whatever dreams you have, what can you do to make room for them?

Gratitude: Democracy and Books

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As I continue to do my daily (and weekly) gratitude practices, I am finding not only am I beyond blessed in my life, but I may be taking far too much for granted.  I am much better at noticing the little things that make my life easier, more beautiful, and sometimes just plain interesting.  I guess you could say I am much more aware of the little joys in life and it allows for a happier disposition over all.  Additionally the frustrating things in life (you know like waiting in a long line for 3 hours to vote-type of things) don’t seem as frustrating when you look at all of the wonderful blessings around you.  So without further ado, here is my latest installment of gratitude.

 

This week I am grateful for democracy.  With the election this week, my dedication and appreciation of democracy was taken to a whole new level.  I have been much more aware and involved with politics this year than ever before and the main reason is because I am thinking beyond my own limited vision of life and future.  I am thinking of the life of my son and other children to come.  The decisions I make today have an impact on the future of this country and ultimately the life of my children and grandchildren.  I was reminded of that this week as I stood in a ridiculously long line to cast my vote.  Yes the line was long, and I spent one of the three hours it took me to vote outside in the cold, but all the while I was very aware and thankful to have the opportunity to cast my vote.  I was proud to see so many people turn out regardless of who they were voting for, because too often people believe their voice, their vote, and their opinion doesn’t matter.  But if you don’t cast your vote, use your voice, etc., then it will never matter.  I am both humbled and grateful for the democracy we have in this country and the continued progress we are making.  Don’t get me wrong we still have far to go and the system is far from perfect, but we are far better off in many ways than hundreds of countries around the world and for that I am grateful.  With a grateful heart for what is, I have high hopes that we will continue to move as a country towards a more united nation with equality for all and that I will live long enough to see it.

I am also grateful for books.  I love the adventures, knowledge, and occasional reprieve from everyday life you can get by simply opening the pages of a good book.  Not to downplay technology and the new readers that are out there, but I love reading books I can hold and carry with me.  In the last two years there hasn’t been a time when I wasn’t in the middle of 2 or 3 books at a time, enjoying every moment of it.  It is one of the things I do to escape the stresses of life, to learn and grow as a person, and to relax.  There is nothing better than a warm snuggly blanket, rainfall outside, and a good book.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and find some down time yourself, no matter how you choose to spend it.

Winds Of Change

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My how the winds of change sweep in so quickly, or so it has seemed recently.  I mentioned last week how I had some good feelings about the rest of the year.  I felt like something was on the verge of happening in my writing world and it was going to be great.  I also mentioned that what I thought was going to happen didn’t.  With that said the winds of change are blowing and they are blowing in an unexpected, unforeseen opportunity that will help me move forward towards beginning my life coach training program.

What is it you ask?

This week I was notified of a change in some of my work responsibilities at my day job that will mean more work, more hours, but some extra income as well.  Doesn’t sound like a good change does it? Actually it is a good thing because the added income will be just what I need to move towards setting a date to begin my life coach training (more on that later).  It is also a reason to celebrate because I feel like I am truly making progress and progress is always a good thing.

I am also seeing change  in a new light.

Change and I have never been friends, in fact change is something that I both crave and fear.  Not knowing where my path may lead fills me with both excitement and dread as I begin to think of all of the possibilities that can come from it.  I guess it also depends on what type of change we are talking about, but this type of change that allows me to move forward towards my dreams is a change I am ready to make.  And while the added income will be great, there are some other trade offs I have to be willing to make in the short-term.

One of which is more work and potentially more stress.  More items on my to-do list that will require more organization and balance of my time.  Add to that weekend hours that I am not used to and the potential for a very chaotic, stress-filled experience.  But, since I know this ahead of time I am choosing to be proactive in my efforts.  Planning my time accordingly and remembering the benefits of this current sacrifice.  More money and more savings mean I can begin my training much sooner.

In addition to that, the more time I spend in a job that I don’t love is more motivation to work on getting my ducks in a row to begin my journey towards my life coaching business.  This may be a mini step and a little sacrifice, but in my book it is also a huge opportunity to move forward.  And for that I am thankful as I welcome the winds of change, for they are not only changing this moment, but have the opportunity to change the rest of my life.

Maybe change isn’t so bad after all.

Success Redefined

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I have made it just past a month since starting this blog (woohoo!) and I am very proud.  Not only have I stuck with my writing every week day, but I have also managed to keep my creativity flowing and I have found that I am never lacking in material or ideas.  Success!!

Or is it?

When I started using WordPress as a platform for my blog, I was (and still am) very excited about how easy it is to use.  For a newbie like myself it was easy to set up and start blogging, and while there are still many things to learn, I feel confident with what I post each day.  In addition to the easy set up, I found (rather quickly) there is some great statistical information you can get in one click of your mouse.  Information about how many people viewed your posted, what country they are from, the number of “likes” for each post, and how many followers you have.  And being the numbers gal that I am, sometimes I find myself obsessing about the numbers.  How many views do I have today?  How many “likes” do I have?  Any new followers?

Crazy right?

I know I just started this magnificently creative, and courageous journey and though I keep telling myself that “every new blog takes time to grow”, I feel a little disappointed in the numbers.  If one of my posts doesn’t have many likes or views, I am starting to wonder about my content.  Is it boring?  Did I post too late or too early?  Should I have certain topics on certain days? Questions that are taking my focus away from my flow of creativity and joy in my writing.  And since I started this blog for two reasons, (to inspire, empower, and motivate others to achieve their dreams as well as to have a creative outlet for my thoughts), I realized that getting the most likes or followers on my blog is not as important and should not be my main focus.

Easy to say, not as easy to do.

So I am redefining success as it pertains to my blog.  Creating a blog and sticking with it was one of my dreams and here I am blogging about it.  I am enjoying the creativity, thoughts, and muses that come about in my daily life because of my blog and am happy to share with others in hopes that as they venture towards their goals, they will know that they are not alone in their journey.  I am enjoying the journey, the connection with other bloggers, and my own space to share my thoughts, visions, words, etc.  I’d say that is a success, a mini success maybe, but a success none the less.  And as my blog continues to grow (and it will), my definition of success may also change.  One day, I might set a goal for a certain number of followers/likes/blog awards etc., but I’m not there yet.  As for today, I am enjoying the process of creating something that matters to me.  And while I will still check out the numbers and statistics (because I’m curious), I will not allow my confidence to waver if I don’t have as much traffic, or “likes”, because while they are great, they are not the reason I am on this journey.  Those things do not define me as a blogger, writer, creator or person, but in time as I continue to make progress in my writing and blogging, those things will grow naturally.  It just takes time and patience. 

That is the great thing about goals.  When you create your dreams or goals, you get to decide what is successful and what isn’t.  For instance, if you are looking to lose a certain amount of weight, you are bound to have a bunch of little successes along the way and it is important to celebrate them as you go.  It builds the momentum and positive energy you will need to stay the course and reach your ultimate goal.  Same thing goes for any goal really.  If you are starting a business, celebrate when you decide on the name of that business.  Celebrate when you find the space for that business.  Celebrate when you have 2 clients, or when you have 10.

The main thing to remember is to celebrate the journey because it is there that you will find many little successes that once built upon, create the life you once dreamt.

Think about it.  How do you define success as it pertains to your most current dream?  I would love to know.