Lamisha Serf-Walls

Major Epiphany & Life Lesson for You

by

photo credit: Upward via photopin (license)
photo credit: Upward via photopin (license)

 

I’ve been a bit MIA lately and there’s a reason for that.

In the last 2 weeks I’ve felt a bit off kilter in my journey.  I felt the shift happen after I came back from a wonderful vacation and started to feel like there was a transformation that I was indeed preparing for.  What that transformation included, I wasn’t sure, but I knew something was coming.

And sure enough it was.

I’ve had these moments before when I go through a major life upheaval with emotions running high and lots of blocks and beliefs that need released.  It’s a process for me and one that I understand very well even if it feels like shit while I’m ‘in’ it.  But, what I always know is that on the other side of this upheaval there is always light, purpose, and expansion that I couldn’t have if it hadn’t been for the upheaval.  For those moments I am grateful.

Last week I was in the throes of it and finally decided to announce it to my Love Your Life Tribe Facebook group because I wanted to be authentic, honest, and I wanted everyone to know that no one is perfect.  EVERYONE goes through these moments and despite the discomfort of the process, it always works out in the end.

Thank goodness the fog is beginning to clear and I am finally being able to see the lesson here and I am passing it along to you.

My major epiphany & life lesson for you is in: Letting Go.

I am one of those people who tends to be a bit of a control freak.  I like to think I am the one running things and making magic happen in my life (sorry Universe), when in actuality I am just following the nudges of my intuition and the Universe.  However, in the moments when I am struggling with making something happen (i.e. meeting financial goals, figuring out how to do something etc.) I go into overdrive and try, try, try, until I can’t possibly try anymore.

And when that doesn’t work (which it usually doesn’t) I go into the mode of thinking I MUST be doing something wrong (because if not, then it would all be fine right) and then I TRY AGAIN.

Looking back I can see how it might be like me banging my head on a door that won’t open thinking that if I just bang on it hard enough, POOF it will magically open.

Yep, doesn’t work like that.

So the key in those moments (or in the less dramatic moments when you aren’t sure which way to go and you know how all of this works) you let go of the NEED for things to change right then and there and keep moving on your merry way.

Now, that’s hard to do if you are dealing with money because how exactly do you go on your merry way when bills are due?

I’ve learned the hard way that you just have to TRUST.  LET GO & TRUST that it’s all going to work out and in actual fact it IS working out for you even if you can’t see how or when or why it is.

Trust is a funny thing because it means you have to simply let go of the thing you are worrying about and go with the flow of life.  And what takes that up another notch is to be HAPPY & JOYFUL in spite of the given challenge.

Last week, that is the last thing I wanted to hear.

I was struggling (in my mind) and I didn’t want to hear any woo-woo message about letting go and letting the Universe (or God) take care of things for me.  As much as I KNOW that to be true, I wasn’t in a place to hear that.  I had to go through the frustration and the emotion of it all to finally get there….

And I finally made it this weekend when I was getting messages left and right on letting go and simply allowing life to unfold and being JOYFUL through the process.  Funny how that works huh?

The one quote in particular that literally shifted everything for me was this:

“The dichotomy is that for true healing to occur, I must let go of the need to be healed and just enjoy and trust in the ride that is life.” Anita Moorjani from Dying To Be Me

The truth is you can enter just about any word in place the word “healing” and the statement would still be true.  Abundance, love, peace, etc. all follow the same formula.

When you let go of the need to have something and just enjoy and trust in the journey of life, things transform and the very thing you let go of, comes back to you.

Letting go of the need is necessary to manifest your desires and being joyful in the process of life is what life is all about.

And that leads me to simply asking myself this, “How can I enjoy the moment right here, right now?” and then acting accordingly.

Simple truths with magnificent power.

My question for you is this…what do you need to let go of right now?

If what you need to let go of is the feeling of being stuck, check out my free audio 5 Ways to Break Free From Stuck below.

Break Free(1)

I Got The Message, “Let Go and It Will Grow”

by

In light of being completely and 100% authentic with you lovely readers I wanted to share something that happened a few weeks ago.  It is something that I have only shared with 2 people for fear others might think I’m crazy and while the “crazy” part is likely true,  I think it’s an important message to share with you.

A few weeks ago I was dealing with some major fear, anxiety, and frustration around what was or wasn’t happening in my business.  I created my business Facebook page, I set up a pay what you can offer and created my mailing list sign-up and they were going nowhere.  Add to that the anxiety of what may or may not be coming next for me job-wise and you can imagine I was a mess.  Even as a life coach, I still find myself fighting back the doubt sometimes.

So there I was, trying desperately through anxious-action to make things happen.  (When will I ever learn??) I was researching, reading, writing, and trying to come up with a plan.  A solid, no-nonsense, fool-proof plan to bring in the right clients.  I could feel the stress building and my Dream Crusher was coming in loud and clear.

I heard her say, “You have NO idea what you are doing.”, “You don’t know anything about business.”, “You should really just find another job and be done with it.”, “You have a family to help take care of for goodness sake.” “You are a fraud!”

She wasn’t being very nice and while I could have continued to let that voice take over my thoughts and cause me to give up, I didn’t.  Instead I meditated.

I knew I had to quiet the fearful thoughts that were flowing through my mind so I sat down, closed my eyes, and let them go.

My 15 minute meditation felt much longer and much deeper than what I am used to and I was not at all prepared for what happened next.  Just as my thoughts floated away, I saw a beautiful butterfly in my mind’s eye with two fingers holding onto one of the wings.  The other wing was furiously flapping as the butterfly was trying to get away.  In that moment I heard “Let go and it will grow.”

What?!butterfly

I meditate at least 5 times a week, sometimes more and during my morning meditations, I very rarely hear or see anything.  I have heard experiences where some people get great inspiration and insight from their meditations, but I don’t experience it quite as clear.  That is until that moment.

A few days later, after hearing the message 2-3 more times (not in meditation), I really felt the significance.

The fluttering and frantic butterfly was me and the fingers holding one of the butterflies wings was also me.  I was the one holding myself back.  Instead of following my intuition and inspiration and allowing that to lead me to the next thing (the way I coach others), I was trying too hard to make something happen.  I was acting out of fear instead of inspiration.  I allowed the doubt, fear, and frustration to send me into a tizzy that resulted in a lot of needy action.

I wasn’t thinking clearly.

I wasn’t following my own advice.

I wasn’t listening to my intuition.

Until that moment.

The message “Let go and it will grow.” has come back to me time and time again.  When I find myself struggling to find a solution or plan right this moment, I know I am trying too hard.  When I am trying to force things to work a very specific way, I know I have lost my faith.  When I am too focused on what I feel is going wrong instead of seeing what is going right, I have lost my way.  When I am too focused on blog views, new followers, new likes on Facebook, and the lack of clients, I am forgetting what is important.

My intuition tells me that letting go of the outcome and detaching from whatever I believe should be the end result is going to help things along.  When I let go of the butterfly and allow it the freedom to fly, I free up energy that can be used for other things.  I know this to be true because I have seen it happen over and over again in other areas of my life.

With a strong vision, belief in myself, and my work, things will keep moving forward. 

Do you have something you need to be easy about instead of trying so damn hard?  Take a step back for a while and do things you truly enjoy.  You just might be amazed at what happens next.

 

Flowing vs Forcing

by

After my big announcement yesterday I had a difficult time sleeping last night.  I don’t know if it was the excitement of sharing the big news or if it was my mind running wild with all kinds of ideas and insights.  One thing is for sure though, my inspiration is high and I am so excited about moving forward with my dreams, I can hardly stand it.  I am trying to stay in the inspirational mindset and not allow myself to float away on a sea of questions that seem to be popping up here and there.

Questions like:

How are you going to get clients?

When will you start?

How much will you charge?

Are you sure you can do this?

How? How? How?

I am letting go of all of those questions right now and focusing on the current task…building my model.  Instead of worry about all the details, I am taking it one step at a time and allowing my inspiration to lead me and to be honest, my model is coming together faster than I expected.

I am allowing my inspiration to lead me as opposed to my logic.

I am choosing my dreams over what reality tells me.

I am choosing hope over doubt.

I am flowing with my ideas instead of forcing them and I must say it feels great!  Who knew letting go of the how could feel so good?

In The Moment Living-And It’s Benefits

by

I hope everyone had a lovely holiday and enjoyed time with family and friends.  I had a very nice time with my little family, just the three of us and as we spent our time together my heart was filled with an immense sense of gratitude.  Gratitude for being in the moment and embracing the love that we share on a daily basis.

Today I have a sense of peace in my life, right now.  I realized this morning that many days I have some worry that is taking up space in my mind and causing me to miss this moment, but today I have nothing but peace.  I must admit it is really nice.  Maybe it is because I don’t return to work until tomorrow and there is nothing really pressing that I have to do today.  Maybe I am floating on the sugar high of the goodies I ate yesterday or maybe I am once again learning to live in the moment more and more.  One thing I know for sure is there are many benefits to being in the moment, some of which I am experiencing right this moment.

Besides the peace and lack of worry, I am finding that I am more open to this very moment.  I can see the beauty that surrounds me and can actively practice gratitude in the moment as opposed to practicing gratitude after the fact.  I am more aware of the blessings in my life and can see the positive in each situation I am presented with when I am not preoccupied with the future.

When I am in the moment, life seems to flow.

I noticed this in the last week when I received notification that another one of my poems was selected to be published in an anthology.  Not only was I not expecting to hear anything from the publishers until sometime early in 2013, I was so fulfilled in the moment with how life was going, that I wasn’t stressed about the results of my writing at all.  I was simply allowing life to flow.  I had let go of my desire to control and stress over the outcome of my writing and was pleasantly surprised with publication and payment for one of my poems.  In addition to that, I have landed 2 freelance writing gigs in the last month or so.

I know that just letting go of the outcome of a situation doesn’t create opportunities by itself, but taking action and then being open to the outcome (no matter what it is) has definitely helped me to not only live in the moment, but has resulted in some really great surprises.  I hope that my “in the moment living” becomes a regular practice as I move into 2013 and that I continue to reap the benefits of allowing life to flow, because truth be told, I am much happier when I am flowing with the current as opposed to fighting it.

 

 

End of Year Tradition: Letting Go of Stuff

by

With the year coming to a close I have begun thinking about end of year traditions that I want to create and stick to in the coming years.  Things that will not only allow me to reflect on the year that is ending, but also make plans and preparations for the year ahead.  One thing I have decided to do is to purposefully let go of some physical “stuff” that is just taking up space in my home and incidentally in my life.

I actually got the idea from Jess Lively as she practices letting go of up to 100 items that she doesn’t absolutely love or use in her day-to-day life.  While my practice may not equate to exactly 100 items, I do plan on getting rid of clothes, books, and other items that I have moved from place to place with no real “home” for them.  I thought this would be a good idea since I will likely be bringing more “things’ into my space with holiday gifts etc.

But this intentional practice is more than just making room for other “things”.

For me it is about letting go of the clutter in my physical space and in turn my mental space.  I have some pretty lofty goals for the coming year and I will need both the physical space and mental space to be able to effectively achieve them (even if I don’t complete them all).  I have found that letting go of “things” generally helps me breathe easier, both figuratively and literally.  I feel good when I am able to let go of “things” and can see the clear space that is the result and the endless possibilities that space leaves for me.  My hope is that each year I will have less and less to get let go of because my space will be filled with intentional items that not only make me feel good, but add to my life on a daily basis.

Do you have any end of year traditions that you practice?  I would love to hear about some of them.