Lamisha Serf-Walls

Follow The Joy

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Last month I read a post from Jess Lively that really inspired me.  I put the thought into my mental memory bank for later retrieval and after the last two days of my day job I was reminded of this post about a concept of “pretiring”.  Check out her post here.

Jess discusses how she plans to give herself permission each day to do things that she enjoys and to follow her heart to what feels good.  My initial thought was…”you can do that?”.  As I thought about it more, it made so much sense to me.  How different would your world look if you followed your intuition/gut/spidey senses and did the things that made you feel good even just a little bit.  I am a realistic person much more than I like to admit, and the reality for me is that I have a family to help support and I can’t just up and quit my day job to follow my heart.  But I can begin feeling out my writing gigs and only responding to the ones the resonate with me.  I can only write the things that feel natural and organic, and not try to fit into any one box.  The truth is, I don’t belong in a box, I like to wear far too many hats to sit in one place for too long.

I have been inspired to begin doing more things that feel right as opposed to the things I feel I should do, although there are many shoulds that I can’t get away from.  (I should get up for work to pay the bills until my side gigs turn into something that can support myself and my family etc. )

I have read a lot about following your heart and fulfilling your life purpose and from what others are saying, the more you do that authentically, the more you will see opportunities come into focus and you allow your path to unfold for you.  It is at this point that your life’s work doesn’t feel like work, it feels like joy.  So, I am doing just that.  Doing the things that feel good and bring me joy.  What a concept right?

**Disclaimer** Do not be fooled by fear.  Fear has a funny way of making something feel wrong when really it is just trying to limit what you are doing. I too have to be careful when fear comes around because I often mistake it for my gut telling me that something isn’t right, when in actuality it is trying to keep me where I am.  Use your judgement and feel how fear feels for yourself.  It may be different for everyone, but I urge you not to let a fear of failure to stop you from moving towards your dreams.

So, what if you did more of what feels right to you and followed your joy more?  What would your life look like?  I am sure it would look (and feel) much different from how it does now.  I invite you to do something each day that inspires you, excites you, and lights the flame of desire for your dreams.  The more you do, the more you will find to be excited about.  I’d love to hear what you plan on doing more of!

Being Ok With Things Unfinished

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With the holidays lurking just around the corner, I feel like there is so much to do and not enough time to complete everything.  In the last few weeks, I have felt like I am playing a lot of catch-up on work stuff, personal stuff, and holiday stuff.  When I begin to feel like things are unfinished, I have to just….breathe.

I am one of those people who enjoys being busy, but only when I am actually getting things accomplished.  I love looking at my to do list and seeing that it is DONE.  Very rarely do I actually accomplish everything on my list, so I often find myself in a constant state of things unfinished, but it doesn’t stop great feeling of putting a check mark next to the things that are complete.

In this process of lists, intentions, and often frustrating circumstances of many, (many) things being undone, I am learning that I can’t do it all, all of the time.  The reality is that I can’t do everything that I want to be done in one day, and very rarely can I get it all done in a week.  Life happens and with a 2-year old, two homes, two dogs, a full-time job, and my midnight hustle (a fun way to say my freelance writing work), life happens A LOT!  So, I may never get it all done, and sometimes I might have to say no to a couple of things for my sanity, but I am learning (yay!), that it is ok.

You don’t get an extra reward for rushing through life doing, doing, doing, you get the most out of life from simply being. So as I venture into my evening with a crippling list of to-do’s, I’m going to intentionally let some things go, because I would much rather indulge in a little bit of down-time, than stress about what I can’t get done.

What is left unfinished in your world that you are ok with, if even for the moment?

Expect The Unexpected

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Whenever I have heard the phrase “Expect the Unexpected”, it has always been in a negative way, meaning always be prepared for the worst.  For many years I lived waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop and when things in life got too good, I became leery.  Looking around every corner for the disaster to hit and by golly each time I looked for it, it showed up!  Lately, I have begun thinking of the unexpected as gifts of wonder, beauty, and generally more positive opportunities and experiences.

 

Today, “Expect the Unexpected” leaves me wondering what wonderful blessings are lurking around the corner and it gets me excited about life.  What a great feeling that is!

My transition from expecting negative to expecting positive didn’t happen overnight.  It was a gradual progression that happened over many years.  It actually came because I realized that every time I started expecting a disaster, one would appear, yet on the off-chance I was excited about life and excited for a new opportunity to reveal itself, an opportunity would also pop up.  After years of trial and error (unbeknownst to me), I realized what I expect, I get (to some degree).

Over the last month, I have been opening my eyes and my heart to whatever opportunities may come.  I have thought this thought even in times of uncertainty, and decided that whatever happens I will accept the opportunity and be open to it.  I will accept it with open arms and be grateful for I know there is a reason for it in my life right now, even if I don’t know the why.  Last week I wrote about getting over my self-doubt and moving from psyching myself out, to psyching myself up about a potential writing opportunity and at that point I decided I was going to do my best and if it worked out I would be grateful, and if it didn’t, I would still be grateful yet remain open for whatever new opportunities may come.  What I didn’t know was how quickly that opportunity would appear.  While I am still waiting to hear back from the first writing opportunity, I am currently working on another one!

Life never ceases to amaze me.

If you know me, you know that when I get my heart set on something it is often hard for me to let it go and I often find myself disappointed when it doesn’t work out as I had envisioned it to be, but this time I tried something different.  I decided that I am going to be open to what comes and let go of my control a bit more and have faith.  Faith that I am on the right path that will lead me to my dreams.  Trust in myself and confidence in my gifts.  And with a grateful heart and an open mind, I am sure to have many more wonderful opportunities come about.  That is not to say I should become complacent because we all know that action is part of making your dreams a reality.  But instead of dreaming and then worrying about the how, when, why, etc., I am going to dream and allow it to fly.  I am going to do what I can, and then trust that if it is meant to be, it will be.

I am learning that sometimes when the other shoe drops it’s a good thing. Sometimes it is exactly what you needed, and that proverbial shoe just might be a piece of your dream puzzle.  So be open and expect the unexpected and when the unexpected comes, no matter what form it may be, be grateful, for you never know where it may lead.

More Inspiration: Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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As a writer, I tend to look for inspiration in all sorts of places and many times it comes from other writers.  Today I read a post on Facebook by Oriah Mountain Dreamer entitled The Blessings of Things Gone “Wrong” and if you haven’t read her work, you are in for a treat.  I was just recently introduced to her writing this year, and I am dying to read more.

 

Her post got me thinking of how the things in life that seem to go “wrong” are simply leading us in a different direction, or putting us in a better position for something else.  For instance, being let go from a job, may seem like a terrible thing at first, but when it gives you the opportunity to live your dream then wasn’t the “wrong” really right?  It sheds new light on the frustrations and annoyances in everyday life.  In the moment they may feel yucky and simply like we have a bit of bad luck, but what if we changed our perception of these moments and looked for the blessing in them?

Have you ever been late for a meeting, or delayed for your travels only to later hear of a tragic car accident that occurred around the time you would have been driving?  Or maybe you miss a deadline only to find out there were major errors in your report and you are provided an extension to fix them?  The list could go on and on, but the moral of the story is that no matter how bad something seems, your situation may very well be working in your favor, and you have yet to see the blessing in it.

 
So as we enter into the holiday season, a time that can get even the best of us frazzled and frustrated, look for the blessings in every moment, but especially when things feel like they are going “wrong”.  When you change you perspective, not only your mood, but your reality tends to change as well.

Safe travels to those that are traveling, and if you are like myself and enjoying a nice Thanksgiving at home, enjoy!

From Psych-Out to Psych-Up

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There are many times in life when you have to simply ignore the anxious ramblings in your head that ask you if you are good enough, strong enough, smart enough, ______(fill in the blank) enough and like Nike says “Just Do It”.  Get rid of the negative self-talk, and the voice in your head that says you aren’t enough in whatever capacity and do what scares you anyways.  If you psych yourself out and you get cold feet and walk away simply because you are afraid, you will never know what the outcome could have been.  Simply put, if you don’t ask, the answer is always no.

 

As a writer most writing gigs don’t fall from the sky (I wish they did), but instead you must do your research, submit query letters, and apply, apply, apply, that is if you want to get paid.  And this writer despite the joy I get from writing this blog, would like to have more paid writing opportunities to add to my publishing portfolio.  So, I apply and most days after applying, I wait only to find that if you aren’t chosen for the gig, you never hear from the person ever again.  Sometimes that is better than hearing a flat-out no, but I guess that depends who you ask.  But, on the off-chance I get a response and they are asking for more information like I did this weekend, I begin to psych myself out, especially if it is something even the slightest bit out of my comfort zone.

The voice in my head begins its rambling of panic asking if I am good enough, and goodness forbid they ask me for a sample piece, then my mental chatter goes into overtime.  ‘Can I do this?’ ‘What if it isn’t good enough?’ ‘What if they say no?’  To which I respond sometimes, but psyching myself out entirely and end up not getting the gig.

Not this time!

I applied for a gig that I thought would be fun and interesting.  I genuinely want the gig, and it’s paid! (win-win all around)  It is something I knew I could do before applying, so why am I questioning it now?  Because that is how I work sometimes, not a good way to work, but the way I work none the less.  The difference is that instead of psyching myself out, I am psyching myself up.  I am going to write the sample, and give it my all because I know I can do it.  Not in a cocky, I am better than you kind of way, but the type of knowing that stands out as courageous confidence.  This writing gig is small, but if I want to fulfill my dream of being a published writer in various genres and eventually publish a book, this is a good step in that direction.

I am moving out of my head and into my heart.  The heart that knows that I can do this. The heart that has the confidence, the joy, and the courage to do something different even if it scares me a little, and in spite of the potential rejection, I am going to continue to move forward applying for other writing gigs that may scare me.  And if the chips fall and I am not selected for this particular writing gig, then it just wasn’t meant to be, and there will be another one (or two or three) out there for me and I look forward to those as well.

Moving forward confidently and courageously toward my dreams without all the negative mental chatter.