Lamisha Serf-Walls

A Lesson In Working Smarter, Not Harder

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Life has a way of getting pretty busy.  When you have a full-time work, freelance work, and a family to care for losing one hour like we did this weekend can seem like a disaster waiting to happen.  My full-time work is picking up (not by my choice) and my freelance work is also increasing (to my delight), as well as a recent increase in home-improvement tasks for our home is making for a somewhat hectic schedule…until now.

I have always been a list maker and great and delegating tasks, but when it comes to my own work, I can sometimes find myself flailing to keep up.  But I have since decided it is time for me to work smarter and not harder.  The biggest issue I have found recently was trying to figure out what to do with my 8 hrs of “free” time in the mornings each week.  I tried balancing it between home responsibilities and freelance work, however the home responsibilities usually won out.  The writing work would get done on lunch breaks and a few hours before bed making for a very long day and less sleep.  Two things I don’t enjoy all that much.  And since I will be adding other personal writing to my schedule (writing my first children’s book series, in addition to starting a life coaching business down the road, I figured it is best if I learn to manage my time a bit more effectively now, rather than later.

What I did?

I decided what items I needed to keep in my schedule.  One was my lunch break.  I have been having “working” lunches far too much and have missed out on several opportunities to get outside to take a walk which is causing some issue with my exercise routine (because now it is non-existent).  So I am taking my lunch breaks back.  I also found that at night-time after getting the little one to bed, the last thing I want to do is work for an additional 2 hours.  So I am taking that time back as well and allowing myself some added reading time in addition to potentially getting to bed earlier.  So when will I be doing my writing work?  In the morning.

I haven’t always been a morning person, but since my full-time job schedule has changed I have 2 days a week where I don’t begin work until 11 am providing me with an added 3 hours to do other things.  The “other things” have mostly been house related, but I am thinking that time might better be used with writing work especially when I have several projects to finish.  So, I am dedicating my mornings to whatever writing work I have and making it a point not to work on writing projects at night.

Family time, house projects, and other home related tasks will be set for the weekends.  While we do get some family time in the evenings, it isn’t nearly as much as we would like so we try to make the most of it on our weekends.  And since it isn’t fun to work 6-7 days a week, I am using the weekend as a break from writing.  Family is important to me and spending as much time with my partner and our son is something I don’t get to do nearly enough and I am not going to sacrifice that precious time for my work.

So, my new schedule begins this week.  I will provide an update next week to let you know the differences I have found not only in my efficiency, but also my stress levels.  I am optimistic to say the least.  I think this new plan will work out great and I will not only be more focused, but more relaxed and more healthy overall.

What do you do to keep a balanced home/work life?

Lessons In Layers

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I have had an epiphany this past week and it is one that I believe I have begun to develop over the years, but for some reason this it is hitting me now.  Maybe it is because I have been doing a lot of internal work, thinking, ruminating, and wondering about life and my journey in this life.

I just realized lessons aren’t learned in distinct moments, but instead occur in layers over time.

It seems I have had many “aha” moments throughout my life only to find myself repeating the same “aha” only to a different degree or in a different situation.  A friend of mine posted something a few months back about learning and re-learning lessons and I told her I thought of learning in the form of college courses.  Instead of learning Patience (period), we learn Patience 101 and Patience 202 etc.  It seems that there are various situations that we can learn the same lesson and yet it still feels new.  And since I tend to have a lot of “aha” moments, I would like to think I am learning them on another level as opposed to believing I am just too stubborn to learn.

As I have come to this Lessons In Layers theory, I began thinking of the lessons that I feel I have learned at least on the surface level.  For instance, thoughts become things, positive thoughts=positive experiences, patience, letting go, allowing life to flow, etc.  I truly believe those are things I have learned, or at least understand on some level and yet I find myself in situations where I realize them in entirely new ways.  It can be both exciting and frustrating depending on how you view it (yet another layer) and yet I feel the same way about personal growth.

At one point in my life (more recent than I care to admit), I thought growing and evolving personally and spiritually was not only a journey, but one that actually had an end (before death of course).  I thought I could hurry up and learn these lessons in order to get to a life of unfettered bliss.  Some part of myself thought that my happiness would begin once all my dreams came true and I would finally be able to live happily ever after.  And being the go-getter that I am, I found myself doing all I could to get there, only to find I was losing this beautiful journey by being caught up in a non-existent destination.  If it wasn’t for a very dear, very wise friend of mine telling me (more than once) that life is about the journey and growth is happening all the time, I would likely still be pushing my way to the end..wherever that may be.

So where am I today?  I am not at the end at all and I am ok with that, for the most part.  I have accepted the fact that I am growing everyday and learning lessons in various layers, in various situations and times.  I am learning to flow with life and sometimes I need a gentle reminder while other times I need a good bonk on the head to revive this important lesson.  The most important part of where I am right now in life is my journey.  I am coming to a place of presence in both mind, body, and spirit to how magnificent life is no matter what is going on.  And while this is a lesson that will come and go, I am ok with taking it slow sometimes.  Sometimes we just need to absorb our experiences with our entire being before we take another step and give thanks for the journey.  I am learning that the journey is the best part…

Trusting The Journey

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This time last year I was full of excited energy making plans for the coming year and reading anything I could my hands on that would tell me how to make my new dreams come true. I had set my intentions with affirmations, meditations, and by writing my letter to my future self, but I wanted something that would give me a sure-fire way to make it happen. Well needless to say I spent much of 2012 trying to make things happen only to find that when you let go and simply flow with life, not only is life more enjoyable, but things seem to fall into place. (And yes it took me almost a year to come to that realization, though sometimes I still struggle with the letting go part of it.)

Today I was reminded of something I heard (and read several times last year) from Michael Losier, the self-proclaimed Law of Attraction how-to guy. In explaining how the law of attraction works he mentioned that it isn’t our responsibility to figure out “how” something is going to happen, but instead for us to allow it to unfold by setting our intention, matching the feeling of the thing we wish to create or attract and simply let it go. For a control freak, over analytical, must know how everything will work out worrier like myself-I couldn’t get a handle on the letting go and allowing part. Instead I found myself focusing so intently on the thing I wanted to create, manifest, and/or attract that I was not only missing the present moment, but I was constantly noticing the thing that still wasn’t there yet. I felt like a failure.

The good news is I am getting better and today as I reminded myself to be open and trust that things are unfolding in perfect timing, it hit me. The journey to your dreams is very much the same as the journey to any other destination in life.

Inspirational wallpaper by Jess Lively @JessLively.com
Inspirational wallpaper by Jess Lively @JessLively.com

When we set our intention to go to a particular destination, say to someplace exotic, we may have a loose understanding of how we will get there, but we don’t likely know every detail that we will encounter along the way, nor do we worry too much about it. Instead we trust that with our intention set and ticket in hand, one way or another we will get to our destination even if there are delays along the way. Sure your flight may be delayed, or you may have to take a different road, but more often than not you get there safely and when you take a path other than the one you set for yourself, you may find it was the best way to get there anyway.

The key is to allow the path to unfold as you go and to be open to the signposts along the way. They aren’t always going to be big billboards with flashing lights telling you what to do and where to go, sometimes it comes in the form of a whisper from deep within yourself. Sometimes your signposts are little nuggets of information, words, sayings, pictures, or people you meet that gently guide you to your destination and the more open you are and the more you trust that you will reach your destination, the pieces seem to effortlessly fall into place.

So what about the detours, roadblocks, and other things that slow us down?? Well those are just lessons that keep us growing and evolving. But when you trust your intentions, and your path, there really are no roadblocks, they are simply another way to your dreams.  And as I continue to open myself to where ever my path leads, I will continue to trust the whispers, inklings, and signposts along the way, because no matter what I have planned my way isn’t always the best way.

Reflection: Surviving to Thriving

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I often find myself sitting in contemplation, reflecting on a certain situation, thought, or book I have read recently.  It isn’t abnormal for me to turn inward for a few days as I think about whatever it is that has given me reason to reflect, and a few weeks ago someone said something to me that got me thinking.  In a conversation I was having about a particular challenge I was dealing with someone said “No matter what you have encountered in your life, no matter how hard it may have seemed, you have always survived.”  In the moment that comment didn’t seem like much, but in the last few weeks I have been reminded of that comment over and over again.

Many times when we are stuck in a rut or dealing with a particular challenge, it is easy to feel like our world is crumbling and everything is falling down on us.  The negative aspects of life seem to be highlighted and we can easily be convinced that we are failing at whatever it is we are attempting to do.  We may think we aren’t good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, and simply don’t measure up to whatever standards we are measuring ourselves by.  It is during those times we believe the illusion that we are destined to fail when the truth is we have made it this far and have been through far worse things in life than this very moment.  And as I have pondered that comment, I realized that yes I have survived every challenge I have encountered and I am better for it.  Of course you couldn’t tell me that in the moment of a complete meltdown, but it is true.

The more I contemplate that thought, the stronger I feel.  I know that I have seen, experienced, felt, and lived some terrible things in life and the “challenges” I experience now are nothing compared to them.  And beyond all that I am here.  I am stronger, wiser, and honestly more creative than ever because of my past and the challenges I have faced.  So yes, I have always survived.  Yes, I will make it through the next proverbial storm. And yes, I am still growing, but I am moving into a phase of my life that is more than just surviving.  I am moving into a phase of life where I thrive.

A phase of life where my dreams transform my reality faster than I can dream it, and my life is wonderful.  Not wonderful because everything is fine and dandy, but wonderful because I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am strong enough to handle whatever comes my way.  I am learning life lessons and embracing change more than I have ever before and if you know me ( and many of you do), you know this is no small feat.  And as I write this I know I may need to be reminded of my strength and my ability to thrive when life throws me a particularly difficult situation and during those moments I will read this post and remember the strength that lies within.

 

My No Plan-Plan

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It has been almost a week since my last post and I am so glad to be back.  The last few days I have been traveling with my family and while I typically hold a certain level of expectation for what we plan on doing each day and have a general plan in mind, this time was different.  This time we couldn’t exactly operate on our own accord since the reason for our travels was work-related for my partner and my son and I were just tagging along.  This week I have quickly learned to let go and I must admit, it has been pretty nice.

Generally I like to know what to expect regarding schedules and routines and quite frankly I really enjoy being able to control it.  (Did I just admit that???) I know I can’t always control what is going on and one of the things that makes life an adventure is the joy of the unexpected.  Learning and growing when things get a little hairy and ultimately learning to go with the flow.  This trip has helped me with that lesson.

While we had a loose understanding of what was going to happen during our trip and had an idea of the schedule (as much as you can when you are dealing with the military), we soon realized that “schedule” was sort of a joke.  Within a matter of 24 hours the plan had changed 4 times and it became very clear that we weren’t going to have as much free time as we previously thought.  If this had happened earlier in the year, the control freak in me would have been agitated, annoyed, and just plain angry that we were now unable to do all the fun things we had planned.  The new “go with the flow” side of me just accepted it and made the plan to have no plan.  Ironic isn’t it?

This whole no plan plan is not something I plan on utilizing in every avenue of my life because I really do have to have a plan for my dreams, goals, and many work related tasks, but learning to flow with the energy of life is a HUGE lesson for me.  If you know me personally you will understand that at times I can be a bit of a drama queen and can get very riled up when things don’t go as planned.  I have lived that way for as long as I can remember and yet now I feel like a new me is emerging.  Maybe it is because the year is coming to an end and I am beginning to think of the possibilities of the new year and what I can do to make it the best year yet.  Though I believe that is partially true, I don’t think I set this no plan plan intentionally.  I think it has simply grown out of my experience on this trip.

Intentional or not, this is a great lesson for me to learn.  It is one lesson I am happy to take with me into 2013 and beyond.  I believe a new me is emerging and I can’t wait to see what the new year brings and as we get closer and closer to 2013 there are some other things I would love to share and discuss with you, so check back often to read about my reflections on this past year and my loose intentions for 2013.  I can’t wait to hear about your intentions.