Lamisha Serf-Walls

This is What I Know…

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I don’t know it all and can’t seem to learn enough, but here are a few things I know about you, me, and the dreams we want to achieve…

  • Everything and I mean EVERYTHING you want to achieve begins with a thought so allow yourself the time and space to daydream, visualize, and use your imagination to craft the most amazing scenarios of what your life can be. That is where the creative process begins, with a simple thought.
  • There is no dream that is too big to achieve.  Seriously, if you would’ve told me 10 years ago that I would eventually start my own business and be working with clients, I would’ve laughed at you.  At that point in my life the dream was too big to even consider, but I now know whatever you want to do, you can. Period.
  • You have a gift and it is meant to be used, given, shared, and highlighted in this life.  Use it, gift it, apply it, but whatever you do, don’t waste it.  Life is too precious to leave your song unsung, your book unwritten, or your dreams undone.  Stop questioning if you are good enough, special enough, or gifted enough to do it.  You absolutely are!
  • You are meant to do great things, thrive, and enjoy life.  It’s what life is all about.  So, stop questioning your worth, let go of the stories you keep telling yourself about why or how or when you will be able to do XYZ and just do it!
  • No matter where you are in your life, there will always be another excuse to wait.  There is no “perfect” time to do anything.  The best time is to start today.
  • Simple steps turn into big hits of inspiration that open doors of opportunities you never knew were possible.  Even the most miniscule act can create enough momentum to provide more progress than you know.
  • Your intuition is your guidance and when you are tapped into it, it will guide you along your path almost effortlessly.  The formula? Do what feels good and right and perfect…for YOU.
  • You don’t have to know the “how”, the “when” or the “why” right now.  Just trust that you will know the steps to take when the time is right and I promise you will be amazed at the resources, time, money, and contacts that arrive exactly when you need them.
  • Magic is real and so is your dream.  Believe in it, trust in it, and have faith that it is coming together even when you can’t see the physical signs.
  • You are supported always, 100% of the time.  There are people, friends, coaches, mentors, and others that will form your tribe to encourage and uplift you when you need it.
  • Taking a leap of faith allows the net to appear for you.  It is amazing what positive expectations can do.  It is true for me and it is true for you.  Try it. Trust it. Do it.
  • Have fun!  If I have learned nothing else on this journey it is to have fun and let loose.  Being playful opens you to receive an abundance of inspiration, opportunities, and energy to accomplish your dreams.  So don’t waste your days sitting in an office trying to make something happen.  Give yourself some doodle space. 🙂

What have you learned about yourself and your dreams this year?  Are you interested in learning more about what coaching is and how it can help you achieve your dreams?  I am offering free 60-minute sessions to any and all new clients to work on any issue, challenge, dream, goal, etc. in December and January and the slots are filling up fast.  If you are interested, contact me here to schedule your session.  I promise you won’t be sorry you did!

The Real Deal: Part 2

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A few months ago I shared a post titled The Real Deal.  It was my confession to you (and myself) that I am not perfect and I am in fact human.  (Contrary to how I may act sometimes. 🙂  )

Well consider this part two of that post.large__4182902199

Over the last two days I have been struggling with a lot of questions, doubts, concerns, and overall worry about the future.  A few comments from a friend that were meant to be helpful actually uncovered some deep insecurities and fear within myself that I thought I was managing by putting on a happy face and staying positive.

You see, when I started this life coaching business venture, I had one plan in mind.  I was going to build it from the bottom little-by-little and I fully believed that what I didn’t know about the business end of things I would figure out along the way.  When I got word that I would be losing my current job, I took it as a sign that I should dive more fully into my business and continue building it piece-by-piece and that things would rapidly take off.  For the first time in my life I wasn’t worried about the future.  I didn’t have to know how it was going to happen or what would come next and I certainly wasn’t worried about money.  (If you know me personally, you know that is a HUGE thing for me to say.)

I had faith and I was trusting the process.

Then I received some rather blunt, yet constructive comments about my business and all of my faith and trust flew out the window.  A million “I can’t…” thoughts flew into my mind accompanied by other dream crushing statements that seemed to multiply by the moment.  I was doubting myself, my business, and my future.  I was frustrated, stuck, and lost.  I didn’t know what action to take (if any) and I felt like a failure.

It sucked.  It was ugly.  But, it was necessary.

What I now know is that the insecurities and hidden fear that bubbled up were there all along.  I was simply trying to cover them up.  I didn’t want to admit that there were things I didn’t know and my emotional reaction to a friend and mentors constructive comments gave me the opportunity to face them head on.  I had the option to continue to wallow in self-doubt and worry or take a step back and re-evaluate things.

While there are many things that I have yet to learn, I know this:  I LOVE coaching and I’m good at what I do because of experiences like this.  I know where my clients are coming from when they feel lost, stuck, and unsure of what to do next.  I understand how it feels when things don’t go as planned.  But, I also know what it means to keep going and to keep your dream alive.

Aside from learning to deal with the fear and insecurities that came up in this situation, I have also learned the importance of standing in your power and trusting your intuition.  Just because someone shares their insights and thoughts with you does not mean you have to do anything with it, especially if it doesn’t resonate with you.  You get to choose whether to use the information or discard it.  It’s your choice.

Trust your dreams.  Trust the process, even when it doesn’t go the way you expected.  But most of all trust yourself!

Onward and upward!!!

photo credit: patricklanigan via photopin cc

Lessons Learned In: Unplugging & Balance

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Well friends, the weekend is coming to an end and as I end this (partial) unplugged weekend, I learned some very valuable lessons that I want to share with you.

Lesson: Unplugging from technology may be difficult, but it is well worth the time and effort for the amount of peace and serenity it provides.

I have to say that when I set the intention to spend the weekend “unplugged” I hadn’t put much thought behind it.  I knew I needed some time away from the constant feed of emails, constant Facebook feeds, and the endless supply of information simply because I spend so much time through the week connected for my day job, my business, and my side gigs, I often am left feeling depleted and frazzled.  I thought it would be easy to leave the phone behind and not scramble to check my emails every time I had a new notification.  I was wrong.  It was much more difficult than I thought.  Though on Friday, just after making my declaration in my last post, I took a book outside and sat in the mild South Carolina weather and read for about 20 minutes and I couldn’t help but feel free.  I felt the tension ease in my shoulders and a growing sense of peace fall over me as I collapsed into the nothingness that became my Friday evening.

As the weekend wore on, I had an on/off relationship with peace.  While the frazzled feeling never returned, I checked my email a few times as well as my Facebook page, though not nearly as often as I would have.  I was making progress.  Today, was by far the best since I was able to disconnect almost completely and only picked up the computer now to write this post.  What I found about this semi-unplugged time was that it is far more a habit than I realized and it is something I could stand to give up every once in a while.  In fact, I intend to be more mindful of my email/Facebook checking even throughout the week as it can end up being a drain of not only my energy, but also my time.

Another thing I realized about this time is that I was far less focused on measurements of various things such as website statistics and Facebook likes.  Things that when you think about it are nothing but numbers.  It can be far too easy to fall into the trap of thinking that certain numbers (or lack there of) mean one’s success or failure.  Taking time away from those measurements has definitely allowed me to relax about business related things as well.  All-in-all, this intention taught me that it is not only healthy, but necessary to take time away from things every once in a while to allow you to reconnect with nature, family, and friends.  It’s nice to let go of our online lives for a bit so we don’t miss what life is all about.

Lesson:  Work/life balance is even more important when you own your own business.

Since I have been juggling many responsibilities for the past few months, I have begun to feel a drain on my energy and my capacity to focus on certain things.  Not only have I placed more focus on my business and put more effort into ways to market myself and get new clients, but I have also increased my freelance writing work as well.  In the process of all this work I began to lose my sense of ease and flow.  I was so focused on doing the next thing and figuring out how to move forward that I forgot to just relax, breathe, and flow with life.  Sounds kinda airy-fairy, I know but I realized even in the early stages of my business how crucial it is for me to maintain a good work/life balance.

So, as I embraced the idea of being “unplugged” this weekend, I was eager to get out and do something just for fun with no thought to what I “should” be doing.  In fact, I didn’t do any work all weekend long which is a first for me at least recently.  I am teaching myself to get into the practice of not only taking time away from technology every now and then, but also to do things for fun.  Life is meant to be enjoyed right?

How was your weekend?  Did you unplug and enjoy time with friends and family?

Lessons Learned: Business Building, Worry, and Meditation

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Each time I write one of these posts, I am more amazed at the evolution that is taking place in my personally and in my life.  I am an avid reader and student of life, so I have always wanted to analyze situations and dig a little deeper to find the lessons in most situations, but somehow articulating them here on my blog helps me to focus on them even more.  I hope you find value in them as well.

With that said let’s get to the lessons shall we?

Lesson:  Like building anything, building a business happens in layers and sometimes piece-by-piece.

When I envisioned my coaching business, I saw a booming business with an abundance of one-on-one clients, workshops, seminars, workbooks, books, retreats, etc.  What I did not see was all the behind the coaching stuff.  I didn’t know what I didn’t know and am quickly learning that building a business takes time and it comes in layers.  Much like bricklayers lay each brick on top of the last, I am building my business.  I learned this week that not only is it ok for it to be this way, it’s normal.  Just as I am evolving and changing, my business will do the same and as long as I add to it layer-by-layer, I can enjoy the process as it unfolds.  Enjoying the journey is the most important part!

Lesson:  Worry is worthless. worry

Wow, if I had a nickel for every time I have reminded myself of this fact, I would be rich.  This week in the middle of being blessed with an abundance of writing projects in addition to my day job and my business building, I had a little bit of worry about how I could get it all done.  My mind ran wild as I calculated the number of hours it would take to get everything done.  I was even trying to ration the time so each project got a portion of my time to get it all done.  I quickly learned that the time I spent worrying could be better spent doing something else.  Once I let go of the “how”, I got busy and did what I could with the time I had.  While I didn’t get everything done that I wanted to, I made progress and I wasn’t nearly as stressed.  I count that as a win.  If you are worrying about anything right now, just let it go because it really is worthless.

Lesson: Meditation is my medicine.

Since I have begun a more regular meditation practice (at least 5 days a week) the results have been amazing.  I have been far more calm, less stressed, more focused, and generally more balanced in my thinking/being.  In the last two weeks (especially this week) I have allowed my many responsibilities take precedent over my meditation practice.  While I could feel the stress and frustrations beginning to return, I kept trying to convince myself that I just didn’t have the time.  The Universe decided to prove to me I did have the time.

meditateYesterday after dropping my son off at daycare, I decided to treat myself to a cup of coffee and pay for the person behind me as a nice start to the day.  Upon returning home, I was on my way out the door to take the dogs for a little walk and all I could think of was how little time I had in the morning to tackle my to-do list.  Walking out the door and locking it behind me, I realized what I thought were keys in my pocket were not.  Luckily it was my phone and I was able to call my partner so she could come let me back in.  So what do you do when it’s 7am and you are locked out of the house?  I guess you could do many things, but I decided to watch the sunrise and spend some time meditating outdoors.  I then took myself and the dogs for a stroll around the neighborhood.

When I was able to get back inside, I felt calmer, more peaceful, and ready to tackle the day.  Now I know that meditation is my medicine or more like a vitamin nourishing my soul and protecting me from becoming unbalanced.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend and find some time to get outdoors and enjoy the beautiful colors and weather where you are.  And if you have never meditated, try it out and see if you feel some of the same centering effects I do.

Thanks for reading!

Lessons Learned In: Planning and Momentum

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After last week where my son spent the week at home with me while I juggled my day job and side gigs, this week was extremely busy playing catch-up and planning for what is to come in October.  After talking to a coach myself I managed to put my worries that were creeping up early in the month at ease and set a loose plan for what is to come.

Lesson:  Loose planning helps maintain focus.lessons

Earlier in the month I found myself getting a little concerned/worried about the future.  In two months my day job will be ending and I have an incredible opportunity to choose what to do next.  I can either find another 9-5 gig or leap fully into my dream life with my business and writing.  The idea was becoming both exciting and scary.  I found myself feeling many of the same feelings my clients do as they think about the ‘realistic’ situations and scenarios.  With the help of my own coach I was able to come up with a loose plan to help me maintain my focus while still being open to the opportunities that may come.  Having an action list has helped me let go of the “what if” scenarios and to stay focused on my ultimate goal.  Needless to say I am feeling less stressed, positive, and far more productive than I was before.

Lesson:  When you take action, momentum begins to build.

I noticed this week (and in weeks prior), that simple actions and thoughts quickly attracted more of the same.  For instance, my worrisome thoughts led to other worries and negativity, while this week my positive and progress-oriented thoughts led to more of the same.  When I began taking steps to implement my loose plan the momentum and motivation to do more, built and surprisingly enough my energy and inspiration increased.  If that weren’t enough I found more opportunities, information, and wins flowing my way too.  I soon realized that I was applying my own coaching philosophy to this particular situation…it just comes so naturally to me.

As I move into the weekend, I plan on continuing the momentum and enjoying a nice weekend.  I hope you do the same and as always, thanks for reading!