Lamisha Serf-Walls

A Lesson in Leaning Back

by

photo credit: symphony of love via photopin cc
photo credit: symphony of love via photopin cc

I’ll be the first to admit when I want something, I can become hyper-focused on it. (Ok maybe a little obsessed.)

I think about it.  I visualize it. I analyze it. I talk about it.

I often jump into action mode quickly and can sometimes forget to listen to my heart.

When it comes to my business and my goals, I often lunge forward when what I truly need to do is lean back and trust.

Today I was reminded of the importance of leaning back.

I’ve been working a bit on expansion in my life and in my business and part of that means reaching outside my comfort zone.

I’m taking risks and stepping into the spotlight so much more than I have before.  It’s exciting, exhilarating, and honestly it feels so right. 

But, in the midst of taking inspired action and clearing my own BS, I sometimes come to a point when I get too focused on the outcome.

I want results and I want them…last week.

The result?

Lots of resistance, disappointment, feelings of lack, and taking forced action as opposed to inspired. (It’s not pretty.)

But, lucky for me I have an amazing support system including my own business coach who reminds me when it’s time to just lean back.

So, what is leaning back really?

To put it simply, it’s trusting the process and staying the course.  It’s detaching from the results and knowing that everything is working out perfectly.  It also means that you know that whatever it is you are trying to manifest or achieve is already done.

It’s happening now.  The money, relationship, career, and clients you want are on the way.  When you stay the course and know it is all coming to you now, you don’t have to worry. You can just enjoy the ride.

I’ll give you another example of what happens when you lean back.

A friend of mine was having a few slow weeks in her business.  She was doing the work and trying hard to figure things out.  She was in action all the time, until one day when she decided she needed a break.  Both her mind & body needed a reprieve from all the action so she took a few days off. She lounged around in her comfy clothes and allowed herself some time to just rest.  In the middle of her second day of rest, she gets a call from a new client.

Leaning back allows the energy you have put into motion to do the work for you. 

No more pushing, prodding, or forcing things to happen.

So if you find yourself feeling anxious and are being busy for the sake of being busy.  Try a different approach.

Just lean back. Let go. Let it flow, and remember you have the power to create & enjoy the life of your dreams.  Sometimes that means letting go of the reins so the powers of the Universe can work for you.

Do you feel like you are forcing a particular area of your life right now?  If so, what is it? Share in the comments below and commit to leaning back for a few days.

P.S.  Have you signed up for my VIP list?  If not you can do so here.  I have some fun giveaways & exclusive offers that I am working on for the next few months that are only accessible to my VIP List so get signed up so you don’t miss out. 

Gratitude: Reflection and New Beginnings

by

This week I spent a lot of time in a hotel room with a rambunctious 2-year-old and in between chasing him around and trying to keep him entertained, I spent some time reflecting on this past year and thinking of the new year ahead.  This week I am grateful for reflection and new beginnings.

At the end of each year I tend to think back to the past 12 months and reflect on how far I have come.  I like to think about the challenges I have made it through and my accomplishments.  This past year has been one of many ups and downs, yet as the year is coming to a close I have found most of my growth has occurred in the last 2 months or so.  I don’t know exactly why that is, but I am glad that I have grown and changed this past year the way I have.  I have found that I am more patient with changes in everyday life and am more open to the flow of life, both very important areas of growth for me personally.  All in all it has made for a more peaceful end to the year and takes me to my next gratitude item.

At the end of each year after I reflect on the past year, I also look forward to the year ahead.  I like to think about the things I want to change and new goals for the year ahead.  I like to dream and dream big.  Last year I decided to put together a dream board for 2012.  I put together pictures and words that I looked at everyday in an attempt to fit my year together like a puzzle.  Things I wanted more of in my life, accomplishments I wanted to achieve, and even more general items were depicted on my dream board and I can honestly say it gave me a lot of motivation for the year ahead.  I haven’t decided how I will dream big for 2013 and whether I will make another dream board or not, but I will definitely spend some time as this year comes to a close thinking of the newness that lies ahead.

Some believe that today was to be the end of the world and while I never believed that to be true, I do believe we are at a point in history that is important for all of us.  We are at a point of transition.  A transition from fear, hate, and separation to love and co-creation.  I hope that each and every one of us will take some time to reflect on what we can do to work together to make this world a better place, to reach out and co-create a world of peace and love together as one.  I read a quote today that I love so much and thought I would share it here.

“The lamps are different, But the light is the same.” Rumi  May we move into 2013 with a sense of knowing that we hold within us the same light and love to change the world.  What will you do to change the world?

Being Ok With Things Unfinished

by

With the holidays lurking just around the corner, I feel like there is so much to do and not enough time to complete everything.  In the last few weeks, I have felt like I am playing a lot of catch-up on work stuff, personal stuff, and holiday stuff.  When I begin to feel like things are unfinished, I have to just….breathe.

I am one of those people who enjoys being busy, but only when I am actually getting things accomplished.  I love looking at my to do list and seeing that it is DONE.  Very rarely do I actually accomplish everything on my list, so I often find myself in a constant state of things unfinished, but it doesn’t stop great feeling of putting a check mark next to the things that are complete.

In this process of lists, intentions, and often frustrating circumstances of many, (many) things being undone, I am learning that I can’t do it all, all of the time.  The reality is that I can’t do everything that I want to be done in one day, and very rarely can I get it all done in a week.  Life happens and with a 2-year old, two homes, two dogs, a full-time job, and my midnight hustle (a fun way to say my freelance writing work), life happens A LOT!  So, I may never get it all done, and sometimes I might have to say no to a couple of things for my sanity, but I am learning (yay!), that it is ok.

You don’t get an extra reward for rushing through life doing, doing, doing, you get the most out of life from simply being. So as I venture into my evening with a crippling list of to-do’s, I’m going to intentionally let some things go, because I would much rather indulge in a little bit of down-time, than stress about what I can’t get done.

What is left unfinished in your world that you are ok with, if even for the moment?

Winds Of Change

by

My how the winds of change sweep in so quickly, or so it has seemed recently.  I mentioned last week how I had some good feelings about the rest of the year.  I felt like something was on the verge of happening in my writing world and it was going to be great.  I also mentioned that what I thought was going to happen didn’t.  With that said the winds of change are blowing and they are blowing in an unexpected, unforeseen opportunity that will help me move forward towards beginning my life coach training program.

What is it you ask?

This week I was notified of a change in some of my work responsibilities at my day job that will mean more work, more hours, but some extra income as well.  Doesn’t sound like a good change does it? Actually it is a good thing because the added income will be just what I need to move towards setting a date to begin my life coach training (more on that later).  It is also a reason to celebrate because I feel like I am truly making progress and progress is always a good thing.

I am also seeing change  in a new light.

Change and I have never been friends, in fact change is something that I both crave and fear.  Not knowing where my path may lead fills me with both excitement and dread as I begin to think of all of the possibilities that can come from it.  I guess it also depends on what type of change we are talking about, but this type of change that allows me to move forward towards my dreams is a change I am ready to make.  And while the added income will be great, there are some other trade offs I have to be willing to make in the short-term.

One of which is more work and potentially more stress.  More items on my to-do list that will require more organization and balance of my time.  Add to that weekend hours that I am not used to and the potential for a very chaotic, stress-filled experience.  But, since I know this ahead of time I am choosing to be proactive in my efforts.  Planning my time accordingly and remembering the benefits of this current sacrifice.  More money and more savings mean I can begin my training much sooner.

In addition to that, the more time I spend in a job that I don’t love is more motivation to work on getting my ducks in a row to begin my journey towards my life coaching business.  This may be a mini step and a little sacrifice, but in my book it is also a huge opportunity to move forward.  And for that I am thankful as I welcome the winds of change, for they are not only changing this moment, but have the opportunity to change the rest of my life.

Maybe change isn’t so bad after all.

Success Redefined

by

I have made it just past a month since starting this blog (woohoo!) and I am very proud.  Not only have I stuck with my writing every week day, but I have also managed to keep my creativity flowing and I have found that I am never lacking in material or ideas.  Success!!

Or is it?

When I started using WordPress as a platform for my blog, I was (and still am) very excited about how easy it is to use.  For a newbie like myself it was easy to set up and start blogging, and while there are still many things to learn, I feel confident with what I post each day.  In addition to the easy set up, I found (rather quickly) there is some great statistical information you can get in one click of your mouse.  Information about how many people viewed your posted, what country they are from, the number of “likes” for each post, and how many followers you have.  And being the numbers gal that I am, sometimes I find myself obsessing about the numbers.  How many views do I have today?  How many “likes” do I have?  Any new followers?

Crazy right?

I know I just started this magnificently creative, and courageous journey and though I keep telling myself that “every new blog takes time to grow”, I feel a little disappointed in the numbers.  If one of my posts doesn’t have many likes or views, I am starting to wonder about my content.  Is it boring?  Did I post too late or too early?  Should I have certain topics on certain days? Questions that are taking my focus away from my flow of creativity and joy in my writing.  And since I started this blog for two reasons, (to inspire, empower, and motivate others to achieve their dreams as well as to have a creative outlet for my thoughts), I realized that getting the most likes or followers on my blog is not as important and should not be my main focus.

Easy to say, not as easy to do.

So I am redefining success as it pertains to my blog.  Creating a blog and sticking with it was one of my dreams and here I am blogging about it.  I am enjoying the creativity, thoughts, and muses that come about in my daily life because of my blog and am happy to share with others in hopes that as they venture towards their goals, they will know that they are not alone in their journey.  I am enjoying the journey, the connection with other bloggers, and my own space to share my thoughts, visions, words, etc.  I’d say that is a success, a mini success maybe, but a success none the less.  And as my blog continues to grow (and it will), my definition of success may also change.  One day, I might set a goal for a certain number of followers/likes/blog awards etc., but I’m not there yet.  As for today, I am enjoying the process of creating something that matters to me.  And while I will still check out the numbers and statistics (because I’m curious), I will not allow my confidence to waver if I don’t have as much traffic, or “likes”, because while they are great, they are not the reason I am on this journey.  Those things do not define me as a blogger, writer, creator or person, but in time as I continue to make progress in my writing and blogging, those things will grow naturally.  It just takes time and patience. 

That is the great thing about goals.  When you create your dreams or goals, you get to decide what is successful and what isn’t.  For instance, if you are looking to lose a certain amount of weight, you are bound to have a bunch of little successes along the way and it is important to celebrate them as you go.  It builds the momentum and positive energy you will need to stay the course and reach your ultimate goal.  Same thing goes for any goal really.  If you are starting a business, celebrate when you decide on the name of that business.  Celebrate when you find the space for that business.  Celebrate when you have 2 clients, or when you have 10.

The main thing to remember is to celebrate the journey because it is there that you will find many little successes that once built upon, create the life you once dreamt.

Think about it.  How do you define success as it pertains to your most current dream?  I would love to know.