Lamisha Serf-Walls

Follow The Joy

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Last month I read a post from Jess Lively that really inspired me.  I put the thought into my mental memory bank for later retrieval and after the last two days of my day job I was reminded of this post about a concept of “pretiring”.  Check out her post here.

Jess discusses how she plans to give herself permission each day to do things that she enjoys and to follow her heart to what feels good.  My initial thought was…”you can do that?”.  As I thought about it more, it made so much sense to me.  How different would your world look if you followed your intuition/gut/spidey senses and did the things that made you feel good even just a little bit.  I am a realistic person much more than I like to admit, and the reality for me is that I have a family to help support and I can’t just up and quit my day job to follow my heart.  But I can begin feeling out my writing gigs and only responding to the ones the resonate with me.  I can only write the things that feel natural and organic, and not try to fit into any one box.  The truth is, I don’t belong in a box, I like to wear far too many hats to sit in one place for too long.

I have been inspired to begin doing more things that feel right as opposed to the things I feel I should do, although there are many shoulds that I can’t get away from.  (I should get up for work to pay the bills until my side gigs turn into something that can support myself and my family etc. )

I have read a lot about following your heart and fulfilling your life purpose and from what others are saying, the more you do that authentically, the more you will see opportunities come into focus and you allow your path to unfold for you.  It is at this point that your life’s work doesn’t feel like work, it feels like joy.  So, I am doing just that.  Doing the things that feel good and bring me joy.  What a concept right?

**Disclaimer** Do not be fooled by fear.  Fear has a funny way of making something feel wrong when really it is just trying to limit what you are doing. I too have to be careful when fear comes around because I often mistake it for my gut telling me that something isn’t right, when in actuality it is trying to keep me where I am.  Use your judgement and feel how fear feels for yourself.  It may be different for everyone, but I urge you not to let a fear of failure to stop you from moving towards your dreams.

So, what if you did more of what feels right to you and followed your joy more?  What would your life look like?  I am sure it would look (and feel) much different from how it does now.  I invite you to do something each day that inspires you, excites you, and lights the flame of desire for your dreams.  The more you do, the more you will find to be excited about.  I’d love to hear what you plan on doing more of!

Being Ok With Things Unfinished

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With the holidays lurking just around the corner, I feel like there is so much to do and not enough time to complete everything.  In the last few weeks, I have felt like I am playing a lot of catch-up on work stuff, personal stuff, and holiday stuff.  When I begin to feel like things are unfinished, I have to just….breathe.

I am one of those people who enjoys being busy, but only when I am actually getting things accomplished.  I love looking at my to do list and seeing that it is DONE.  Very rarely do I actually accomplish everything on my list, so I often find myself in a constant state of things unfinished, but it doesn’t stop great feeling of putting a check mark next to the things that are complete.

In this process of lists, intentions, and often frustrating circumstances of many, (many) things being undone, I am learning that I can’t do it all, all of the time.  The reality is that I can’t do everything that I want to be done in one day, and very rarely can I get it all done in a week.  Life happens and with a 2-year old, two homes, two dogs, a full-time job, and my midnight hustle (a fun way to say my freelance writing work), life happens A LOT!  So, I may never get it all done, and sometimes I might have to say no to a couple of things for my sanity, but I am learning (yay!), that it is ok.

You don’t get an extra reward for rushing through life doing, doing, doing, you get the most out of life from simply being. So as I venture into my evening with a crippling list of to-do’s, I’m going to intentionally let some things go, because I would much rather indulge in a little bit of down-time, than stress about what I can’t get done.

What is left unfinished in your world that you are ok with, if even for the moment?

Gratitude: Music and Writing

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This week the two things I am grateful for are things that have impacted my life in so many ways.  They have been used as a means of expression, healing, and continue to add to my life as a whole.  And like many of the things I am grateful for each week, they are things that I often have overlooked.

This week I am grateful for music.  In the last year my musical tastes have changed quite a bit and I found myself not listening to music as much as I have in the past.  This week however, I was reminded of the impact music has had on my life.  I tend to listen to music based on my current mood or sometimes as a way to invoke a sense of relaxation and my musical tastes depend on those moods.  This week however, I started listening to artists I listened to many years ago and was instantly reminded of the circumstances I was going through when a certain CD was on repeat.  It is amazing how quickly I am brought back to specific moment in time through the lyrics of a particular song.

I am also grateful for music because for almost 15 years I used it as a means of expression through dance, and a means of creation as I choreographed specific pieces for groups I worked with.  For a long time music and dance was my life.  I was always listening to a song through the ears of an artist, seeing the choreography appear in my mind’s eye.  It was (and still is, though right now it lies dormant), such a large part of my life and without music and dance, I am not sure where I would be.  My love for music has been renewed this week and I am so grateful for all that it has done for me over the years and I hope to create many more memories that I can later recall through music.

The other thing I am grateful for is my writing.  Much like music, writing has always been a part of my life, though early on in life, I had no idea that it would be something I wanted to do.  Looking back, I always excelled in English, as I found it easy to express myself through the written word, and can remember how proud I was in Middle School, when one of my pieces was published in our local paper.  As the years passed, my writing would ebb and flow.  Sometimes I would write poetry, sometimes I would simply keep a journal, but looking back on it now, I realize my writing was a means of healing for me.  Since then my writing has evolved and I suspect it will continue to change over time, and as it does I will remain grateful for this wonderful means of expression.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

 

Don’t Forget To Dream

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In the last month or so I have spoken to two friends that I have known for several years.  Both are a bit older than myself and find that they have reached a point in life that they need a change.  After talking to them and asking them questions about why they feel the way they do, I came to the conclusion that they have lost the ability to dream.

I asked one of my friends the question I have asked many people regarding if money were not an issue what would she want to do, and I was astounded at her response.  She didn’t know.  She had no way of identifying what brings her joy or what she would want to do next in life.  A few weeks later, I was talking to my other friend and the conversation went in the same direction.  This friend even asked me “Am I too old to dream?” After telling her “Of course not, you are never too old to dream.”, she confided in me she didn’t know how to dream.  She had always been focused on getting by and simply making it to the next day, that she never allowed herself to think too far into the future.  While I believe living in the moment is a beautiful thing, dreaming is what makes life magical. 

I fear that many people in the world have lost their ability to dream at some point or another as they are overcome by their current reality.  Their current state of being has overpowered their ability to be open to possibilities and limited their ability to see the world through a child’s eyes again.  A world where there are no restrictions, no boundaries, and nothing stopping you from dreaming of the best life possible.  Sometimes we grow up knowing that bills have to be paid and so we must work and are often told to get our head out of the clouds and come back to reality.  If you ask me, losing the ability to dream is one of the most detrimental parts of being an adult.

The good news is that you can begin to dream again.  Just as I told both of my friends, just because you lose sight of it for a while, doesn’t mean it’s gone forever.  You simply have to flex your imagination and begin to see the world differently.  For some people dreaming doesn’t have to be winning the lottery or striking it rich somehow.  For many, dreaming means doing work that they love, making a difference in the lives of others, and simply being the best person they can be.  And if you have lost your ability to dream, you might wonder where to begin.

My first suggestion is to begin seeing the magic that is already around you, some of which you may be overlooking.  Keep a little notebook of magical moments and write them down as you experience them.  Maybe you want to keep a gratitude or beauty journal where you write down all the things you observe that strike you as beautiful or list items everyday that you are grateful for.  The key is to get out of your head and into the world.  Become an observer of your surroundings and look at the world through different eyes.  Enjoy the twinkling Christmas lights, notice the beautiful colors of the sunrise or the sunset at night, enjoy looking up at the stars at night and feel the abundant magic that lies within all of these things.  The more you begin to notice the magic of everyday life, the easier it will be for you to believe that you can employ that same magic in your own life.

The more you notice the magic around you, the more you will begin to feel the joy that comes with it.  The appreciation for the things, people, circumstances, and brilliance that are already around you.  Use that joy to begin thinking of other things that bring you joy and write it down.  In your perfect world what does happiness look like for you?  Describe it, feel it, taste it, smell it, and see it.  That is what dreams are made of.  They are magical visualizations full of vibrant feelings that employ all of your senses.  Dreams light the fire inside you to move forward and to not only believe your dream is possible, but to know it is.  Sure it might seem crazy to someone else, but this is your dream.  Dream it, feel it, and then go out and get it.

Life isn’t meant to be difficult.  Sure there are times when we all struggle with certain circumstances in life, but I truly believe life is meant to be enjoyed.  So find your joy again.  Find it, feel it, and keep it.  And as you venture through your day, and make your plans for 2013, don’t forget to dream!

Winds Of Change

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My how the winds of change sweep in so quickly, or so it has seemed recently.  I mentioned last week how I had some good feelings about the rest of the year.  I felt like something was on the verge of happening in my writing world and it was going to be great.  I also mentioned that what I thought was going to happen didn’t.  With that said the winds of change are blowing and they are blowing in an unexpected, unforeseen opportunity that will help me move forward towards beginning my life coach training program.

What is it you ask?

This week I was notified of a change in some of my work responsibilities at my day job that will mean more work, more hours, but some extra income as well.  Doesn’t sound like a good change does it? Actually it is a good thing because the added income will be just what I need to move towards setting a date to begin my life coach training (more on that later).  It is also a reason to celebrate because I feel like I am truly making progress and progress is always a good thing.

I am also seeing change  in a new light.

Change and I have never been friends, in fact change is something that I both crave and fear.  Not knowing where my path may lead fills me with both excitement and dread as I begin to think of all of the possibilities that can come from it.  I guess it also depends on what type of change we are talking about, but this type of change that allows me to move forward towards my dreams is a change I am ready to make.  And while the added income will be great, there are some other trade offs I have to be willing to make in the short-term.

One of which is more work and potentially more stress.  More items on my to-do list that will require more organization and balance of my time.  Add to that weekend hours that I am not used to and the potential for a very chaotic, stress-filled experience.  But, since I know this ahead of time I am choosing to be proactive in my efforts.  Planning my time accordingly and remembering the benefits of this current sacrifice.  More money and more savings mean I can begin my training much sooner.

In addition to that, the more time I spend in a job that I don’t love is more motivation to work on getting my ducks in a row to begin my journey towards my life coaching business.  This may be a mini step and a little sacrifice, but in my book it is also a huge opportunity to move forward.  And for that I am thankful as I welcome the winds of change, for they are not only changing this moment, but have the opportunity to change the rest of my life.

Maybe change isn’t so bad after all.