Lamisha Serf-Walls

Unexpected Opportunities For Growth

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Today, the first day of 2013, I had expectations that I would spend day dreaming. I envisioned today would be filled with relaxed moments, reflection, and loose planning for the year ahead. But what I experienced was far from relaxation.

I began my day feeling a bit off kilter. I couldn’t pinpoint what the problem was exactly, but I could tell something felt off. Instead of feeling energized about the newness of the year, I was feeling lethargic and a bit on edge. Throughout the day I found myself reacting rather intensely or over reacting in some cases to seemingly small things. My patience was wearing thin and I realized my frustrations were coming from my lack of flow with the events of the day and my lack of perceived control. And while the aspects of the day that were outside of my “control” are not important, I had a pretty strong epiphany by the end of the day.

As 2012 came to a close I decided to choose a theme for this year that would help me keep my focus this year. Incidentally my theme for this year is to be open and by that I mean open to not only the good things, but the challenges and lessons as well. I realized today that I was not only asking for opportunities to remember to be open but in some ways I had attracted these opportunities to flow and be open to life.

Simply deciding to be open or be more patient doesn’t necessarily mean there is an instant change. In fact, any growth or change takes place over time and lasting change happens when we choose to respond to situations in a different way over and over again. What I soon realized is that the challenges I was having today was simply an opportunity to respond differently. This was the beginning of my year of being open.

I believe when I chose the theme for this year I sent a message to the Universe that I am now ready for opportunities to choose to be open, to choose differently than I have in the past. And while I didn’t expect to have my theme challenged on the first day of the year, I firmly believe it is through these moments I will be able to continue to grow and become better at being open and flowing with life, not only in the good times, but also in the challenging times.

End of Year Tradition: Theme of the Year

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Vision of being open.

I have heard of many people using different methods to reflect on the past year as well as make plans for the new year and as I continue to flow with life and make plans for future, I have decided to set a theme for 2013.  I thought it would be a good way to set a specific focus for the year ahead and as I move through each day of 2013 if need be, I can look back at this post and remind myself of my intention and focus for 2013.

With that being said my theme for 2013 is: Be Open.  I want to be open to whatever opportunities, challenges, and changes that may present themselves in 2013 and to take those things in stride.  Instead of fighting the current and resisting ‘what is’, I want to be open to the lessons I may learn and the growing that may come from the changes and challenges in the coming year.

That is not to say that I am going to just let life happen to me in 2013.  In fact my plan is quite the opposite.  I am setting goals and intentions for the coming year, but instead of asserting my “control” over what I think should happen, I am going to flow with what actually happens and be open to it all.  This is a huge change for me as I often find myself disappointed that things don’t go exactly as planned.  So, while I am not flying completely blind with no plan in 2013, I will simply be open to whatever changes may come.  My hope is that in my effort to let go a bit more and flow with all that life entails, I will continue to find peace in every situation no matter what it is.

I would love to hear from you. What would you say your theme is for 2013?

Reflection: Surviving to Thriving

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I often find myself sitting in contemplation, reflecting on a certain situation, thought, or book I have read recently.  It isn’t abnormal for me to turn inward for a few days as I think about whatever it is that has given me reason to reflect, and a few weeks ago someone said something to me that got me thinking.  In a conversation I was having about a particular challenge I was dealing with someone said “No matter what you have encountered in your life, no matter how hard it may have seemed, you have always survived.”  In the moment that comment didn’t seem like much, but in the last few weeks I have been reminded of that comment over and over again.

Many times when we are stuck in a rut or dealing with a particular challenge, it is easy to feel like our world is crumbling and everything is falling down on us.  The negative aspects of life seem to be highlighted and we can easily be convinced that we are failing at whatever it is we are attempting to do.  We may think we aren’t good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, and simply don’t measure up to whatever standards we are measuring ourselves by.  It is during those times we believe the illusion that we are destined to fail when the truth is we have made it this far and have been through far worse things in life than this very moment.  And as I have pondered that comment, I realized that yes I have survived every challenge I have encountered and I am better for it.  Of course you couldn’t tell me that in the moment of a complete meltdown, but it is true.

The more I contemplate that thought, the stronger I feel.  I know that I have seen, experienced, felt, and lived some terrible things in life and the “challenges” I experience now are nothing compared to them.  And beyond all that I am here.  I am stronger, wiser, and honestly more creative than ever because of my past and the challenges I have faced.  So yes, I have always survived.  Yes, I will make it through the next proverbial storm. And yes, I am still growing, but I am moving into a phase of my life that is more than just surviving.  I am moving into a phase of life where I thrive.

A phase of life where my dreams transform my reality faster than I can dream it, and my life is wonderful.  Not wonderful because everything is fine and dandy, but wonderful because I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am strong enough to handle whatever comes my way.  I am learning life lessons and embracing change more than I have ever before and if you know me ( and many of you do), you know this is no small feat.  And as I write this I know I may need to be reminded of my strength and my ability to thrive when life throws me a particularly difficult situation and during those moments I will read this post and remember the strength that lies within.

 

In The Moment Living-And It’s Benefits

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I hope everyone had a lovely holiday and enjoyed time with family and friends.  I had a very nice time with my little family, just the three of us and as we spent our time together my heart was filled with an immense sense of gratitude.  Gratitude for being in the moment and embracing the love that we share on a daily basis.

Today I have a sense of peace in my life, right now.  I realized this morning that many days I have some worry that is taking up space in my mind and causing me to miss this moment, but today I have nothing but peace.  I must admit it is really nice.  Maybe it is because I don’t return to work until tomorrow and there is nothing really pressing that I have to do today.  Maybe I am floating on the sugar high of the goodies I ate yesterday or maybe I am once again learning to live in the moment more and more.  One thing I know for sure is there are many benefits to being in the moment, some of which I am experiencing right this moment.

Besides the peace and lack of worry, I am finding that I am more open to this very moment.  I can see the beauty that surrounds me and can actively practice gratitude in the moment as opposed to practicing gratitude after the fact.  I am more aware of the blessings in my life and can see the positive in each situation I am presented with when I am not preoccupied with the future.

When I am in the moment, life seems to flow.

I noticed this in the last week when I received notification that another one of my poems was selected to be published in an anthology.  Not only was I not expecting to hear anything from the publishers until sometime early in 2013, I was so fulfilled in the moment with how life was going, that I wasn’t stressed about the results of my writing at all.  I was simply allowing life to flow.  I had let go of my desire to control and stress over the outcome of my writing and was pleasantly surprised with publication and payment for one of my poems.  In addition to that, I have landed 2 freelance writing gigs in the last month or so.

I know that just letting go of the outcome of a situation doesn’t create opportunities by itself, but taking action and then being open to the outcome (no matter what it is) has definitely helped me to not only live in the moment, but has resulted in some really great surprises.  I hope that my “in the moment living” becomes a regular practice as I move into 2013 and that I continue to reap the benefits of allowing life to flow, because truth be told, I am much happier when I am flowing with the current as opposed to fighting it.

 

 

Gratitude: Reflection and New Beginnings

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This week I spent a lot of time in a hotel room with a rambunctious 2-year-old and in between chasing him around and trying to keep him entertained, I spent some time reflecting on this past year and thinking of the new year ahead.  This week I am grateful for reflection and new beginnings.

At the end of each year I tend to think back to the past 12 months and reflect on how far I have come.  I like to think about the challenges I have made it through and my accomplishments.  This past year has been one of many ups and downs, yet as the year is coming to a close I have found most of my growth has occurred in the last 2 months or so.  I don’t know exactly why that is, but I am glad that I have grown and changed this past year the way I have.  I have found that I am more patient with changes in everyday life and am more open to the flow of life, both very important areas of growth for me personally.  All in all it has made for a more peaceful end to the year and takes me to my next gratitude item.

At the end of each year after I reflect on the past year, I also look forward to the year ahead.  I like to think about the things I want to change and new goals for the year ahead.  I like to dream and dream big.  Last year I decided to put together a dream board for 2012.  I put together pictures and words that I looked at everyday in an attempt to fit my year together like a puzzle.  Things I wanted more of in my life, accomplishments I wanted to achieve, and even more general items were depicted on my dream board and I can honestly say it gave me a lot of motivation for the year ahead.  I haven’t decided how I will dream big for 2013 and whether I will make another dream board or not, but I will definitely spend some time as this year comes to a close thinking of the newness that lies ahead.

Some believe that today was to be the end of the world and while I never believed that to be true, I do believe we are at a point in history that is important for all of us.  We are at a point of transition.  A transition from fear, hate, and separation to love and co-creation.  I hope that each and every one of us will take some time to reflect on what we can do to work together to make this world a better place, to reach out and co-create a world of peace and love together as one.  I read a quote today that I love so much and thought I would share it here.

“The lamps are different, But the light is the same.” Rumi  May we move into 2013 with a sense of knowing that we hold within us the same light and love to change the world.  What will you do to change the world?