There are many times in life when you have to simply ignore the anxious ramblings in your head that ask you if you are good enough, strong enough, smart enough, ______(fill in the blank) enough and like Nike says “Just Do It”. Get rid of the negative self-talk, and the voice in your head that says you aren’t enough in whatever capacity and do what scares you anyways. If you psych yourself out and you get cold feet and walk away simply because you are afraid, you will never know what the outcome could have been. Simply put, if you don’t ask, the answer is always no.
As a writer most writing gigs don’t fall from the sky (I wish they did), but instead you must do your research, submit query letters, and apply, apply, apply, that is if you want to get paid. And this writer despite the joy I get from writing this blog, would like to have more paid writing opportunities to add to my publishing portfolio. So, I apply and most days after applying, I wait only to find that if you aren’t chosen for the gig, you never hear from the person ever again. Sometimes that is better than hearing a flat-out no, but I guess that depends who you ask. But, on the off-chance I get a response and they are asking for more information like I did this weekend, I begin to psych myself out, especially if it is something even the slightest bit out of my comfort zone.
The voice in my head begins its rambling of panic asking if I am good enough, and goodness forbid they ask me for a sample piece, then my mental chatter goes into overtime. ‘Can I do this?’ ‘What if it isn’t good enough?’ ‘What if they say no?’ To which I respond sometimes, but psyching myself out entirely and end up not getting the gig.
Not this time!
I applied for a gig that I thought would be fun and interesting. I genuinely want the gig, and it’s paid! (win-win all around) It is something I knew I could do before applying, so why am I questioning it now? Because that is how I work sometimes, not a good way to work, but the way I work none the less. The difference is that instead of psyching myself out, I am psyching myself up. I am going to write the sample, and give it my all because I know I can do it. Not in a cocky, I am better than you kind of way, but the type of knowing that stands out as courageous confidence. This writing gig is small, but if I want to fulfill my dream of being a published writer in various genres and eventually publish a book, this is a good step in that direction.
I am moving out of my head and into my heart. The heart that knows that I can do this. The heart that has the confidence, the joy, and the courage to do something different even if it scares me a little, and in spite of the potential rejection, I am going to continue to move forward applying for other writing gigs that may scare me. And if the chips fall and I am not selected for this particular writing gig, then it just wasn’t meant to be, and there will be another one (or two or three) out there for me and I look forward to those as well.
Moving forward confidently and courageously toward my dreams without all the negative mental chatter.