Lamisha Serf-Walls

Fearless Living…The “How”

by

Let me first apologize to you lovely readers for taking so long to continue my thoughts from last weeks “fear” theme.  Sometimes the things we plan are not the things we must do in the moment and I am learning that more and more each day.  With that said, I am back and I am excited to update you on some recent developments in my world.

I ended last weeks post with a promise as to how I was going to begin living a fearless life as a way to teach my son (and future children) to do the same.  At the time my thoughts were on taking some much-needed action toward my goals and leaving fear in the dust.  Before I do that, let me give you a little insight into why I haven’t been moving forward as much as I would have liked.

I have talked a little bit about my plans to write a children’s book and I set the intention to begin writing on a certain date.  I thought the best way to do it was to jump right in, but I soon realized (after scheduling conflicts) that maybe I should wait until I have more inspiration before I begin writing.  I still stand by that decision, but the more I found myself waiting for the inspiration to hit me, I realized I was also allowing fear to dictate my plans.

I had a moment (or two) where I thought if I don’t start this book, I can’t fail.  But then again if I don’t start it, I can’t succeed either.  So, in order to accomplish my dream of writing a book, I have to write, but in order to write the best book, I have to be inspired.  To be completely honest with you fear was not only dictating my plans for writing a children’s book, but also my plans on starting my business and many of my other dreams.  Looking back, I can see my vision was a bit skewed.  I thought I needed certain pieces to fall into place in order to execute my plan of action.  I realize what that really was, was fear.

I was procrastinating and in a way sabotaging my dreams by not even getting started.  I did a lot of good talking about my dreams, about my plans, about the many things that had to happen first, and then I could start working on my dreams only to find they were excuses.  Excuses not to start for fear of failure.  Excuses not to begin for fear of not being good enough.  Excuses not to dream bigger, for fear my reality wouldn’t live up to the picture in my head.  And when I jumped off the boat of self-pity and self-sabotage, I remembered this…

The best part of our dreams is the journey we take in reaching them.  The mistakes we make, the lessons we learn, and the amazing experiences we have along the way make our lives worth living.  And to be completely honest with you, if all of my dreams came true in the blink of an eye, what fun would it be?  Sure my book series would be a success and my business would be booming, but would I appreciate it as much without the journey?  Probably not.

So, with that said I am accepting the journey ahead of me with open arms and while fear may accompany me a little bit along the way, I vow that I will not allow it to become the captain of this ship.  Instead, I am moving forward with my dreams and as I do, I will go where my inspiration leads me and I hope you do too.

(Tomorrow I will give you a little insight into the inspirational nuggets that have appeared to me in the last few weeks. )

Acting On Inspired Thoughts

by

Recently I have been thinking about my list of dreams and wondering if I should actively be working toward them, or if I should be following my inspiration and see where it takes me.  I have often wondered which is better.  In the business/goal-oriented world, it seems setting a game plan is the best way to move forward while in the art world, leading through inspiration is best.  But what about a person like myself who is a blend of both?

I am learning that if I act on my inspired thoughts, the action feels good.  For instance, as a choreographer I found I did my best work when I was strongly inspired by the music.  I didn’t have to think too much about what I was going to do because I was so inspired, my dances created themselves.  The same thing goes for my writing.  When I feel like I am forcing myself to write about a particular topic, it doesn’t flow very well and I find myself struggling a bit.  This is exactly why I have yet to begin my children’s book.

When I initially had the thought to write a children’s series, I was so inspired and should have taken that time to write down all my ideas and words that were flowing.  And while I told myself I was going to set a date to start writing, it didn’t really work out that way.  I really want to start writing, but am not feeling the passion and fire at the moment, so I suppose it is best for me to wait and allow the fire to come back.

While I tend to believe less in a world of extremes and believe it is best to take a more balanced approach to life, I am beginning to think that acting on inspired thoughts is the way to go.  Sure, I could set a writing schedule in order to get my book written or I could allow the inspiration to flow and act on it when the feeling is right.  Does that make me a lazy procrastinating writer?  I don’t think so, I think it means I am an inspiration driven writer amongst other things.

I have tried to make my vision of being a life coach come to fruition in various ways.  I tried setting a plan to get certain funds in place, to find the right program, etc., but those options haven’t really worked out thus far.  So, I am taking a step back a bit.  I am trusting that if I keep my vision clear about what I want, follow my intuition and inspiration, the pieces will fall into place the way they should.  Instead of working to make things happen, I am flowing with inspired thoughts.  Is it the right thing to do in all areas of my life?  Maybe not.  But, as for where I am right now, it is the right move.

What is the right move for you?  Do you set a plan and execute it accordingly or do you fly by the seat of your pants a bit?  Let me know what works for you!

Resolutions Revisited

by

I have to say I can’t believe March is here already.  It seems like not too long ago I was thinking, dreaming, and intending my year ahead full of wonder, magic, and awe.  Ah how quickly the newness subsides and everyday life takes over.  Laundry, work, bills, and life all go on and sometimes our dreams, goals, and resolutions fall quickly to the background.  I suppose that is why many resolutions fall by the wayside never to come about again until next year…that is unless you revisit them.

Last Friday it hit me that we are now entering the third month of the year and my excitement for 2013 had dropped dramatically.  So much that I wasn’t thinking of my dreams all that often and my passion was waning too.  The realization that I was no longer as excited for what is to come as I was in January really got me thinking.  How could I let all of that excitement and fire just fizzle out?  Where did it go?  More importantly, how do I get it back?

I don’t know if there is a set formula to finding your fire again, but this is what I have come up with so far.

  • Remember your resolutions/dreams/intentions.  Revisit the goals you wrote down, the things you told your friends you wanted to do, but most of all FEEL them.  Feel the fire, passion, and desire you had when you set them.  Revisit your resolutions and make friends with them again.
  • Know that each month (and each day) is new and you can recreate the newness whenever you want.  Maybe at the beginning of each month you want to set a mini celebration for what you accomplished the month before and look forward to what is coming in the next month.  Maybe you wan to journal about all the gooey goodness that you had in the month before while setting your intentions for the month ahead.  Whatever you do remember every day, week, and month provides a new start.
  • Bring back the magic.  When the clock struck 12, you were likely filled with a sense of wonder and magic for what was waiting for you in the coming year.  I can’t tell you how many times I heard or read “2013 is my year” only to find that thought is forgotten a few weeks later.  Bring that magical feeling back to life.  Read inspirational quotes, stories, and blogs.  Find someone you admire and ask them what they do to keep the magic and wonder alive.  Embrace positivity and allow it to fill you up each and everyday.  Sounds corny, but it works.

I hope the steps above help you to breathe life into your resolutions and goals and you enjoy not only the things you planned for, but also the delicious surprises that await you.

Now it’s your turn.  What do you do to keep your resolutions alive?  Let me know!

Profound Inspiration On Authenticity

by

The world we live in can often times make us feel like we have to play a specific role in order to “fit in”.  For misfits like myself it can become a tireless task to be accepted by all groups and to attempt to be like everyone else when deep down we know, we are just us.  Many of us are taught from a young age to merely exist and blend in with those around us.  Sure we want to be successful but at what cost?  The cost of our individuality?

There are many things that connect us as human beings, but a vast number of things that make us unique as well and those things are what make this life experience so amazing. (In my humble opinion.)  The fact that we all have our own experiences, opinions, decisions, and choices in this life make it the huge melting pot that it is, yet many people can’t seem to understand that “different” doesn’t necessarily mean “bad”.  And so, many of us strive to live the lives we think we should when really our authentic selves are waiting to come to the surface.  For some it can take an entire lifetime of working hard to fit in, only to realize they were really meant to stand out and follow their heart’s desires all along.  Others realize it much sooner, but still live half of their lives ignoring and denying who they truly are on the inside.

These last few weeks I have been doing a lot of thinking about authentic living.  I have had times in my life where I felt like I needed to fit in and have since begun what feels like a huge transition into living truly and authentically from my heart, and part of that authentic living means accomplishing my less than normal dreams.  And as I have begun sorting through my own beliefs on what is normal and what isn’t, I stumbled across some profoundly inspiring information/quotes that I want to share with you.

In the January 2013 issue of The Oprah Magazine, Oprah interviewed spiritual teacher Carolyn Myss about discovering happiness and finding our true path in this life.  One of the questions Carolyn was asked was why are people so confused about what they are meant to do in this life and her response resonated with me to my core.

“Because they define their life by what they want versus what they have.”

Wow…how many of us can think of a time when we have found ourselves unhappy due to not having something in particular?  What if we all took stock of what we have and live from a space of gratitude for those things instead of trying to keep up with society and what they dictate is enough?  I don’t think our lives should be defined by our possessions or the things we want to have, but more by who we are…our true, authentic selves.

The interview goes on to discuss life purpose and how many people find achieving their dreams and goals as a difficult thing.  They often find they are met with resistance and struggle.

“People suffer when they pursue a life or chase a dream that doesn’t belong to them.”

I had to stop for a moment and really absorb what this statement suggests.  If we are traveling a path that is not ours, meaning we are trying to live a life that is not authentic for us, then we are likely to be met with resistance, frustration, and challenge.  That is not to suggest that achieving our own dreams won’t have its own struggles and life lessons, but there will likely be a distinct difference in how those challenges feel.  The key is realizing when you are operating from your true self and when you are attempting to achieve a goal simply for the way it looks on the outside.  Are you achieving your dreams because it is your soul’s purpose or are you doing it for other reasons?

So, how do we find our life purpose?  By that I mean our true, authentic path that we are meant to travel in this lifetime.  What if you don’t know where to start?  Carolyn suggests:

“Have no judgments about your life.  No expectations.  Give up the need to know what happens tomorrow.  Just be fully present and appreciate all that is in your life right now.” 

Again, I don’t think she suggests sitting around and waiting for life to happen for you, but instead to be fully present with where you are right now and to listen.  Listen to your inner voice, your joy, and your passion.  It is likely you haven’t heard what it is trying to say if you have been attempting to live a life that isn’t yours.  Enjoy this moment, be grateful for it, and listen to what comes up for you.  I think you will find your true self shine through and it may be 180 degrees different from the life you were trying to live, but I firmly believe when we are living fully from our authentic selves, life simply flows.  You might just find that your true path offers more joy, happiness, and peace than you ever imagined.

Are you willing to live from that place?

To Do or Not Do…That Is The Question

by

Most goal setting techniques involve setting a list of steps and then acting on those steps one at a time.  It makes sense in some cases to do things that way, but that isn’t always the best method I am realizing.  Sometimes it is important to take some time away from “doing” and to allow your previous actions to take shape and to allow the Universe to work some magic.

I recently finished Marlise Karlin’s book The Power of Peace in You and in it she describes igniting the power of stillness and peace within and living from that space to discover a life better than you imagined.  You can read my full review here, but one quote I found that really hit me is one that discusses doing vs not doing as a way to accomplish your dreams.

“Often, the best thing to do is…nothing at all, allowing space for inspiration by leaving a void.  It is here, in this essential non-doing, where you release attachment to the outcome-that the miraculous emerges to show you a different pathway for getting where you want to go.  You can’t tap into the Energy field of inspired solutions or discover the unforeseen if you are always racing to get it done at all costs.” Marlise Karlin in The Power of Peace in You

This quote has proven to provide a profound shift in my thinking regarding attaining my goals and dreams.  I have since moved (albeit slowly) from a place of doing to a place of non-doing in some situations and while it has been somewhat uncomfortable there, I am learning that there is certainly some value in it.  The key for me is knowing when to do and not do.

I suppose like anything in life, this is a matter of balance.  Just like a farmer can’t continuously plant seeds in the same space over and over again and expect his crop to grow overnight, I must learn to be content with letting my own dream crop grow.  Sometimes that means allowing my ideas, creations, and thoughts to ferment before I do anything with them.   For instance, when I started this blog, I went through a long period of thinking, pondering, creating, and allowing the right name, niche, idea to come to me.  And when it finally did, there was no question as to whether I should act or not act.  Maybe that is the key.

Plant your seeds of imagination and plant as many as you come up with, but be patient as you allow them to take shape or die out because the ones that are meant to be will be.  When you provide the space of non-doing, you allow miracles to happen because let’s face it, if you are always trying to do, do, do, the Universe has no time to work on your behalf.  But, if you are like me, you might wonder what you are supposed to do in the time you are not working on your goals.  My answer (one I often need to remember myself)? Have fun.

When you are not actively working on your goals and you are providing a space for them to breathe and grow, do something fun.  Catch up on a hobby you have missed.  Read a good book, get outside in nature, have coffee with a friend.  Life is meant to be enjoyed and if you are working on your goals all the time, no matter how happy they make you, you are likely to burn out.

So what are you doing or not doing right now in regards to your dreams and life goals?