Lamisha Serf-Walls

Confession Time: I Didn’t Listen To My Heart…and I Failed (sort of)

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To be honest with you, I have been dreading writing this post.  Part of me knew I had to do some processing mentally and emotionally before I could put anything in writing and the other part of me was just plain embarrassed.

Embarrassed of looking like a fraud, a scam, a loser and my worst fear…a FAILURE.

So what did I fail at exactly?

I failed at listening to my intuition when it told me something wasn’t a good fit.

I failed at recognizing the signs that reinforced something wasn’t a good fit.

I failed at standing in my power to declare to myself and YOU that it’s ok to pull the plug on something that isn’t a good fit.

So what is this elusive ‘thing’ that isn’t a good fit?

The 90-Days To Biz Brilliance program.

Yep, the program I was so excited about (initially before the signs) and the same program I put off releasing twice for various reasons (because I clearly ignored the signs.)

The short story is this.  I fell into the trap of thinking that other people know me better than myself and while some of my clients are female entrepreneurs, I am not a ‘business coach’.  Here’s where it gets a little confusing even for me.  The biz brilliance program is actually full of amazing content, support, information, and practices to handle the stuff that comes up when you are creating a business, but it is also good for people NOT in business.

I was excited about the program.  I shared it with you and in various other networks happily.  I loved the feeling of the program, but something I couldn’t quite put my finger on felt off.  The more I shared, the more off it felt.  And when the feeling got to be too much, I knew that it wasn’t going to fly, but I was too afraid to pull the plug for fear of looking unprofessional.  I didn’t want anyone to think any less of me and to see me the way I was seeing me in that moment…a failure.

But despite all of that this is what I have learned:

  • I now know what the off feeling feels like in my body and I can use that in the future
  • I took a HUGE step to create a program that has good bones and can be used in another way…later
  • I am not a failure
  • I now have more clarity about what isn’t a good fit for me, which is equally as important as knowing what is
  • Life (and my business) goes on despite this bump in the road
  • Listening to my intuition and inner wisdom is always the best way

It is imperative to trust that tiny whisper within that tells you something isn’t right and the nudge you get to go in a particular direction.  Learn to listen to yourself and let go of the other stuff that doesn’t feel right for you.  Tap into your intuition on a daily basis and allow it to guide you forward.  It takes practice, I know especially when you are in business and there are so formulas for ‘success’.  Your success will come to you in a way that feels right and fits your path.

Another big thing this experience taught me is that trying is succeeding in its own right, so keep trying.  Keep experimenting and keep going.  Do you know how many times Albert Einstein ‘failed’ in his experiments before he got one ‘right’?  If one of the most amazing scientific geniuses in history can ‘fail’ a few times to get to something incredible, then don’t you think we can too?

Life is about experience, so remember that as you try and try (and try) again.  Don’t forget to trust too.  Trust is a big part of the process.  Knowing that you will get to where you are going as long as you keep going.

 

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P.S. We are entering the last 4 months of the year (where does the time go!) and I know there are dreams and goals that you have been procrastinating on.  It’s time to get a Jump Start don’t you think? My 1-month Jump Start package is available to help you take big action and get moving immediately toward your dreams.  Haven’t you waited long enough?  Get signed up for your free 30-minute consultation to get started for September. 

Accessing The Expert Within

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If I have learned anything this past year, or more accurately in the past month or so, it is the importance of listening to your intuition and making decisions that are right for you.  I have far too often fallen into the trap of wanting to always make the right decision whether it is in my business, family life, or other more mundane tasks like buying the right products.

You see, something you may not know about me is that I was very much a Ms. Goodie Two Shoes when I was younger.  Growing up I would beam with confidence when I received my gold stars for a job well done.  If the teacher was looking for a volunteer, I had my hand raised faster than she could blink.  I aimed to please and I wanted nothing more than to receive an abundance of accolades from the people I looked up to.  It doesn’t sound all that bad right?  I mean after all, I was on honor roll more often than not and I did very well in school.  But the downside to it all is that my delicate confidence depended on what other people thought of me and my decisions.  (Imagine the turmoil that ensued when my mother found out I was not her straight-laced-heterosexual daughter, but instead I was her seemingly-straight-laced-gay daughter….(gasp!))

While I have managed to step out of my comfort zone and do things the non-traditional (sometimes very non-traditional) way, I realized about a month ago that I still had this habit of seeking advice, knowledge, and insight about what I should do because I wanted to do what was right.  I didn’t want to make a mistake.  I wanted to select the perfect logo, find the perfect business name, and set up the perfect website that would draw in clients from every corner of the world.

I wanted everything to be perfect and I wanted everyone to like my new business (and me).

But the problem was that every comment, opinion, thought, and insight created a battle inside me, a battle between my gut/intuition and the oh-so-wise thoughts of someone else.  It was a battle that left me feeling more confused than ever and it wasn’t until I received a series of particularly hurtful comments that I finally realized what the struggle was about.

The struggle inside myself was a struggle against my inner knowing….the expert within.  You see, when you set out to fulfill your life’s calling there is a feeling you get that doesn’t go away.  It’s the feeling you feel when you first figure out what you want to do and the same feeling that keeps you moving forward when things get tough.  It’s the voice that tells you that it’s going to be alright and you will have all the things you need to make it happen.  It’s the resonance you feel when you meet people on your path who are exactly who you needed to meet to move to the next step.

That feeling, that voice, that resonance…is YOU.  medium_10770581383

Over the years, I have tried to live in a way that pleased those I deemed “experts” in life and when I set out on my journey to create a new business, I started moving down a similar path until my inner expert reminded me that I will find my way and know what direction to go because it will simply feel right for me.  It may not be right for everyone and it certainly won’t be the same path someone else took to get there, but it is mine and my inner expert will guide me to where I need to be, and yours will too.

You don’t need someone to map out your plan for you.  You have a wealth of knowledge and wisdom within you that will guide you along the way and you will know you are on your right path because it will feel right…for you.

You may be asking yourself if we all have inner experts then why in the world would we hire a life coach or anyone else to help us???

The truth is sometimes your inner expert will guide you to a life coach or someone else to help you on your path because it’s what you need.  As a coach I never tell my clients what they should or shouldn’t do.  Instead, we discuss the challenges, concerns, and struggles that may be holding them back from moving forward and when they are ready to make a decision, I help them tap into their own inner expert so they know what is right for them.  I also hold them accountable along their journey so that pesky thing we know as fear doesn’t get in the way of their incredible potential.

Whatever decisions you have to make as this year comes to an end don’t question whether it is the right or wrong decision based on someone else’s opinion instead, tap into the expert within and know that he/she will not lead you astray.

You are wiser than you believe yourself to be!

photo credit: symphony of love via photopin cc