Lamisha Serf-Walls

A Collaborative Approach

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I have never been a big fan of competition and as a dance coach I often found it challenging to get my dancers out of the mindset that if they didn’t bring home a trophy, then they were “losers”.  Instead of believing the myth that if you don’t win whatever you do doesn’t matter, I believe in progress and improvement, but beyond that the idea that we only have to be better than yourselves.

I often see people getting so wrapped up in what someone else is doing as they attempt to “be better than” so and so, or they feel the need to measure up to another person’s standards and successes that they lose their purpose.  They begin to focus on the other person and forget why they are doing what they are doing in the first place.

Our dreams are not here as a competition.  They are simply our heart’s desire that we wish to fulfill in our lives.  They are ours, and ours alone.  They are what we make of them, and it doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing.  Of course society says something very different.  In today’s world you have to fight your way to the top and sometimes that means stepping on others to get there.  We are constantly bombarded with not only the idea that we can reach the peak of perfection, but that perfection has a certain look, a certain feel, and a certain amount of money in a bank account.

I’m not buying it.

I say be the best you, you can be.  Don’t worry about what someone else is doing.  Don’t worry about how much money they are making, or how successful their business is compared to yours.  Focus on your life purpose, your dreams, and being a better you.  That is what matters.  And as you move along your path, support others in their goals and dreams and it will come back to you tenfold (that’s my belief anyways).  Find ways to collaborate with others and be more co-creative with a joint vision instead of seeing the other as your competitor.

In my opinion our society has too much division the way it is and we must take a different approach for our future.  Let’s support one another, collaborate in unity, and be kind.  Encourage, uplift, and inspire others to follow their dreams whatever they may be and if you happen to be in the same field and can offer some helpful advice, do it.  It is through this collaborative approach that we will all succeed in achieving our hearts desire, and the idea of competing against someone else’s dream or journey will be a thing of the past.

As I am beginning my own dream journey towards life coaching, I have been very fortunate to have several life coaches assist me with information, guidance, and insight into the training and the business aspects coaching.  At no time did I feel like they didn’t support me in my endeavors, or feel threatened by my questions and for that I am grateful.  I hope that as I move forward in my own career that I too can offer guidance, assistance, and insight to someone else on a similar path.

I invite you to think of (and act on) ways you can support others in their pursuits.  And if there is anything I can do to support, motivate, and inspire you, please let me know.

Gratitude: Democracy and Books

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As I continue to do my daily (and weekly) gratitude practices, I am finding not only am I beyond blessed in my life, but I may be taking far too much for granted.  I am much better at noticing the little things that make my life easier, more beautiful, and sometimes just plain interesting.  I guess you could say I am much more aware of the little joys in life and it allows for a happier disposition over all.  Additionally the frustrating things in life (you know like waiting in a long line for 3 hours to vote-type of things) don’t seem as frustrating when you look at all of the wonderful blessings around you.  So without further ado, here is my latest installment of gratitude.

 

This week I am grateful for democracy.  With the election this week, my dedication and appreciation of democracy was taken to a whole new level.  I have been much more aware and involved with politics this year than ever before and the main reason is because I am thinking beyond my own limited vision of life and future.  I am thinking of the life of my son and other children to come.  The decisions I make today have an impact on the future of this country and ultimately the life of my children and grandchildren.  I was reminded of that this week as I stood in a ridiculously long line to cast my vote.  Yes the line was long, and I spent one of the three hours it took me to vote outside in the cold, but all the while I was very aware and thankful to have the opportunity to cast my vote.  I was proud to see so many people turn out regardless of who they were voting for, because too often people believe their voice, their vote, and their opinion doesn’t matter.  But if you don’t cast your vote, use your voice, etc., then it will never matter.  I am both humbled and grateful for the democracy we have in this country and the continued progress we are making.  Don’t get me wrong we still have far to go and the system is far from perfect, but we are far better off in many ways than hundreds of countries around the world and for that I am grateful.  With a grateful heart for what is, I have high hopes that we will continue to move as a country towards a more united nation with equality for all and that I will live long enough to see it.

I am also grateful for books.  I love the adventures, knowledge, and occasional reprieve from everyday life you can get by simply opening the pages of a good book.  Not to downplay technology and the new readers that are out there, but I love reading books I can hold and carry with me.  In the last two years there hasn’t been a time when I wasn’t in the middle of 2 or 3 books at a time, enjoying every moment of it.  It is one of the things I do to escape the stresses of life, to learn and grow as a person, and to relax.  There is nothing better than a warm snuggly blanket, rainfall outside, and a good book.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and find some down time yourself, no matter how you choose to spend it.

Success Redefined

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I have made it just past a month since starting this blog (woohoo!) and I am very proud.  Not only have I stuck with my writing every week day, but I have also managed to keep my creativity flowing and I have found that I am never lacking in material or ideas.  Success!!

Or is it?

When I started using WordPress as a platform for my blog, I was (and still am) very excited about how easy it is to use.  For a newbie like myself it was easy to set up and start blogging, and while there are still many things to learn, I feel confident with what I post each day.  In addition to the easy set up, I found (rather quickly) there is some great statistical information you can get in one click of your mouse.  Information about how many people viewed your posted, what country they are from, the number of “likes” for each post, and how many followers you have.  And being the numbers gal that I am, sometimes I find myself obsessing about the numbers.  How many views do I have today?  How many “likes” do I have?  Any new followers?

Crazy right?

I know I just started this magnificently creative, and courageous journey and though I keep telling myself that “every new blog takes time to grow”, I feel a little disappointed in the numbers.  If one of my posts doesn’t have many likes or views, I am starting to wonder about my content.  Is it boring?  Did I post too late or too early?  Should I have certain topics on certain days? Questions that are taking my focus away from my flow of creativity and joy in my writing.  And since I started this blog for two reasons, (to inspire, empower, and motivate others to achieve their dreams as well as to have a creative outlet for my thoughts), I realized that getting the most likes or followers on my blog is not as important and should not be my main focus.

Easy to say, not as easy to do.

So I am redefining success as it pertains to my blog.  Creating a blog and sticking with it was one of my dreams and here I am blogging about it.  I am enjoying the creativity, thoughts, and muses that come about in my daily life because of my blog and am happy to share with others in hopes that as they venture towards their goals, they will know that they are not alone in their journey.  I am enjoying the journey, the connection with other bloggers, and my own space to share my thoughts, visions, words, etc.  I’d say that is a success, a mini success maybe, but a success none the less.  And as my blog continues to grow (and it will), my definition of success may also change.  One day, I might set a goal for a certain number of followers/likes/blog awards etc., but I’m not there yet.  As for today, I am enjoying the process of creating something that matters to me.  And while I will still check out the numbers and statistics (because I’m curious), I will not allow my confidence to waver if I don’t have as much traffic, or “likes”, because while they are great, they are not the reason I am on this journey.  Those things do not define me as a blogger, writer, creator or person, but in time as I continue to make progress in my writing and blogging, those things will grow naturally.  It just takes time and patience. 

That is the great thing about goals.  When you create your dreams or goals, you get to decide what is successful and what isn’t.  For instance, if you are looking to lose a certain amount of weight, you are bound to have a bunch of little successes along the way and it is important to celebrate them as you go.  It builds the momentum and positive energy you will need to stay the course and reach your ultimate goal.  Same thing goes for any goal really.  If you are starting a business, celebrate when you decide on the name of that business.  Celebrate when you find the space for that business.  Celebrate when you have 2 clients, or when you have 10.

The main thing to remember is to celebrate the journey because it is there that you will find many little successes that once built upon, create the life you once dreamt.

Think about it.  How do you define success as it pertains to your most current dream?  I would love to know.

Gratitude: Family Time and Sunrises

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With the holidays upon us and Thanksgiving just around the corner, I have decided to increase my gratitude practice to list one thing I am grateful for during the month of November (and hopefully December as well), on my Facebook page.  I am doing this because in the time I have begun regularly practicing gratitude, I have found such a tremendous change in my overall attitude about life, abundance, and what it means to be happy.  I am finding that I am blessed beyond measure in so many ways, even if my dreams were never to manifest (though I know they will).  I invite you to also join in the 30 days of gratitude for the month of November and see how it makes you feel, and what changes you notice in your own life.

 

This week the first thing I am grateful for is family time.  Being a mother is one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given and spending special time with my son and partner are absolutely priceless.  This week we did a little pumpkin carving, attended an Elmo and Friends event, and went trick or treating as a family.  I absolutely love the time we get to spend together, particularly the moments when I get to see my son smiling, or I can look at my partner and see the joy in her eyes.  It is during those times that I am fully awake and aware of the moment and nothing is more important than our little family.  I also find myself thanking the Divine for being blessed with so much love to give the two most important people in my life and as we venture towards adding to our family (hopefully in the near future), I look forward to more family time and more love to share.

This week I am also grateful for the beautiful sunrises I am blessed with each and every morning.  Living in South Carolina, I have been drawn to the vast beautiful skies both during the day and at night.  Each morning as I take my son to daycare it is quite dark and we have begun a practice of admiring the stars and the moon as we leave.  On my way home, this morning I was amazed at the gorgeous sunrise that greeted me just over the horizon.  I would have taken a picture to include here, but I was driving and was too mesmerized to even attempt to capture it on my cell phone.  The beauty took my breath away and reminded me yet again of the beauty that surrounds us everyday if we are open to it.

I hope you all have a marvelous weekend and remember the wonderful blessings you have, especially as so many are still struggling without power, heat, and basic necessities in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy.  My prayers are with the victims that are working to get their lives back to normal in the wake of this natural disaster.

Source of Inspiration

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I have been thinking a lot about inspiration lately, mostly because I have had an unlimited supply of inspirational thoughts, musings, readings, and quotes that I have come across lately.  And as I have been blogging for almost a month now, I have never had a moment where I didn’t have something to write about.  (Fingers crossed that doesn’t change.)  More specifically I have been thinking about the source of our inspiration to continually work towards accomplishing our goals and dreams. Where does it come from?

 

What is your source of inspiration?

Is it purely the satisfaction of accomplishing another goal? Or are you like me and you have this undying need to help make the world a better place one person at a time?  Maybe your dream is to start a business and money is your motivator, but is money going to keep you going?  I am not saying money is a bad thing at all, in fact I love money! (Well, actually I love what money allows me to do.)  But when it comes to your life purpose, your dreams, the fire that burns within, what keeps you going?

If I were to answer that question about my dreams, I guess it would depend on the specific dream.  For instance, wanting to run a mini-marathon is purely for the challenge and accomplishment factor.  The training and preparation needed for such a task also allows me to get into shape and live a healthier life which is an added bonus.  My inspiration for writing a book is partially accomplishment based, but more about the fact that I want to inspire, motivate, and move more people in the direction of their dreams and writing a book that reach the masses seems like a good start.  My inspiration for becoming a life coach is also about reaching out to people and empowering them to accomplish their dreams too.  To think outside the box of “reality” or the reality they have been taught, to find the undying power that lies within when you truly believe in yourself.  Helping others, and being a source of their inspiration has been something I have always enjoyed and it continues to light the fire with in me to just keep going and never give up.

You want to know what else inspires me?  People doing what they love.  When I see someone living their dreams, doing the thing that brings so much joy into their lives, I am more motivated.  I feel good and I know that one day that will be me and I hope that whatever I choose to do, I do it with the joy and zest that I see in others, because it is contagious!

Have you ever thought about the things that inspire you on a daily basis?  Have you ever taken note of the things that drive you to continually give it your all?  If now, now is the time to do so, because when you know what inspires you, you can always turn to those things, people, books, when you are in need of a little pick me up.

So I ask you this…

What is your source of inspiration?