Lamisha Serf-Walls

Gratitude: Transformation & Positivity

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This week I was struck by how much I am changing in various ways.  I am growing, transforming, and moving into a new chapter in my life bit by bit and I must say in all the years I thought change was scary, I am finding it to be such a good thing.  Sure it isn’t always easy, and I have come to face some parts of myself that I don’t particularly like, but I am grateful for those parts too.  I am happy for the purpose they served in my life and I am grateful for the courage to move into a new me.  The truth is I have always been transforming in one form or another.  I think we all are.  But there is something about conscious transformation that feels different.  A good different.  A proud different.  And so I am grateful this week for transformation.

I am also grateful for the power of positivity.  Not just the arbitrary thought that positive is better than negative, but the power it has in my life (and yours too if you practice it).  I have consciously made an effort to let go of my resistance to life and believe that all will be fine.  Things will work out and be happy where I am right here, right now.  I have made lists of things that make me smile and things about my partner I adore just so I can build on top of my good vibes.  All-in-all it has allowed me to see and experience a different aspect of life.  The good that is in life no matter what is going on in ours.  I am finding that even when things feel less than hopeful or down right disastrous, a little bit of positivity goes a long way.

So my dear readers, I wish you well as you head into the weekend.  May you embrace whatever changes are lurking around the corner and find the positive in every single, delicious moment of this life.  It is all so good, even when it’s not.

Gratitude: Focus

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I have spent several days away from my blog and though it certainly hasn’t been on purpose, I am finding myself changing and growing (again).  Of course change and growth are two things that don’t really stop and are for the most part good things, but as far as my blog is concerned, they sometime cause me to take some time to look inward to process everything.  With that said, I didn’t want to miss my one gratitude post a week because it really is a good reminder for me to practice gratitude on a daily basis.

This week I am grateful for focus.  While my focus has been a bit scattered at best lately, I am finding myself constantly bringing my thoughts back to the present moment.  Whatever task I am completing at the moment works out for the better if I can offer my undivided attention and focus to it as opposed to being split between various tasks.  Splitting my attention is rarely the most effective use of my time, though it is something that has become far more of a habit than I care to admit.

I am also grateful for bringing my focus closer to home, meaning focusing on the things that affect my family and I personally rather than get involved in others business.  Again this is something I am constantly reminding myself to do because for far too long I have been playing the role of rescuer to people, situations, and circumstances that may not really need or want my help.  So, I am taking my focus back a little bit and focusing on myself and my family.  I am beginning to think more about my dreams and how I can create the space, time, and energy for those things I want to bring to fruition.  I am also formulating a loose plan of action and seeing where the tide takes me, because while focus is a good thing, it can often be limiting as well.  So, here’s to having a soft focus on my little world and much gratitude in my heart for all that unfolds.

What are you grateful for today?

Lessons In Layers

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I have had an epiphany this past week and it is one that I believe I have begun to develop over the years, but for some reason this it is hitting me now.  Maybe it is because I have been doing a lot of internal work, thinking, ruminating, and wondering about life and my journey in this life.

I just realized lessons aren’t learned in distinct moments, but instead occur in layers over time.

It seems I have had many “aha” moments throughout my life only to find myself repeating the same “aha” only to a different degree or in a different situation.  A friend of mine posted something a few months back about learning and re-learning lessons and I told her I thought of learning in the form of college courses.  Instead of learning Patience (period), we learn Patience 101 and Patience 202 etc.  It seems that there are various situations that we can learn the same lesson and yet it still feels new.  And since I tend to have a lot of “aha” moments, I would like to think I am learning them on another level as opposed to believing I am just too stubborn to learn.

As I have come to this Lessons In Layers theory, I began thinking of the lessons that I feel I have learned at least on the surface level.  For instance, thoughts become things, positive thoughts=positive experiences, patience, letting go, allowing life to flow, etc.  I truly believe those are things I have learned, or at least understand on some level and yet I find myself in situations where I realize them in entirely new ways.  It can be both exciting and frustrating depending on how you view it (yet another layer) and yet I feel the same way about personal growth.

At one point in my life (more recent than I care to admit), I thought growing and evolving personally and spiritually was not only a journey, but one that actually had an end (before death of course).  I thought I could hurry up and learn these lessons in order to get to a life of unfettered bliss.  Some part of myself thought that my happiness would begin once all my dreams came true and I would finally be able to live happily ever after.  And being the go-getter that I am, I found myself doing all I could to get there, only to find I was losing this beautiful journey by being caught up in a non-existent destination.  If it wasn’t for a very dear, very wise friend of mine telling me (more than once) that life is about the journey and growth is happening all the time, I would likely still be pushing my way to the end..wherever that may be.

So where am I today?  I am not at the end at all and I am ok with that, for the most part.  I have accepted the fact that I am growing everyday and learning lessons in various layers, in various situations and times.  I am learning to flow with life and sometimes I need a gentle reminder while other times I need a good bonk on the head to revive this important lesson.  The most important part of where I am right now in life is my journey.  I am coming to a place of presence in both mind, body, and spirit to how magnificent life is no matter what is going on.  And while this is a lesson that will come and go, I am ok with taking it slow sometimes.  Sometimes we just need to absorb our experiences with our entire being before we take another step and give thanks for the journey.  I am learning that the journey is the best part…

Profound Inspiration On Authenticity

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The world we live in can often times make us feel like we have to play a specific role in order to “fit in”.  For misfits like myself it can become a tireless task to be accepted by all groups and to attempt to be like everyone else when deep down we know, we are just us.  Many of us are taught from a young age to merely exist and blend in with those around us.  Sure we want to be successful but at what cost?  The cost of our individuality?

There are many things that connect us as human beings, but a vast number of things that make us unique as well and those things are what make this life experience so amazing. (In my humble opinion.)  The fact that we all have our own experiences, opinions, decisions, and choices in this life make it the huge melting pot that it is, yet many people can’t seem to understand that “different” doesn’t necessarily mean “bad”.  And so, many of us strive to live the lives we think we should when really our authentic selves are waiting to come to the surface.  For some it can take an entire lifetime of working hard to fit in, only to realize they were really meant to stand out and follow their heart’s desires all along.  Others realize it much sooner, but still live half of their lives ignoring and denying who they truly are on the inside.

These last few weeks I have been doing a lot of thinking about authentic living.  I have had times in my life where I felt like I needed to fit in and have since begun what feels like a huge transition into living truly and authentically from my heart, and part of that authentic living means accomplishing my less than normal dreams.  And as I have begun sorting through my own beliefs on what is normal and what isn’t, I stumbled across some profoundly inspiring information/quotes that I want to share with you.

In the January 2013 issue of The Oprah Magazine, Oprah interviewed spiritual teacher Carolyn Myss about discovering happiness and finding our true path in this life.  One of the questions Carolyn was asked was why are people so confused about what they are meant to do in this life and her response resonated with me to my core.

“Because they define their life by what they want versus what they have.”

Wow…how many of us can think of a time when we have found ourselves unhappy due to not having something in particular?  What if we all took stock of what we have and live from a space of gratitude for those things instead of trying to keep up with society and what they dictate is enough?  I don’t think our lives should be defined by our possessions or the things we want to have, but more by who we are…our true, authentic selves.

The interview goes on to discuss life purpose and how many people find achieving their dreams and goals as a difficult thing.  They often find they are met with resistance and struggle.

“People suffer when they pursue a life or chase a dream that doesn’t belong to them.”

I had to stop for a moment and really absorb what this statement suggests.  If we are traveling a path that is not ours, meaning we are trying to live a life that is not authentic for us, then we are likely to be met with resistance, frustration, and challenge.  That is not to suggest that achieving our own dreams won’t have its own struggles and life lessons, but there will likely be a distinct difference in how those challenges feel.  The key is realizing when you are operating from your true self and when you are attempting to achieve a goal simply for the way it looks on the outside.  Are you achieving your dreams because it is your soul’s purpose or are you doing it for other reasons?

So, how do we find our life purpose?  By that I mean our true, authentic path that we are meant to travel in this lifetime.  What if you don’t know where to start?  Carolyn suggests:

“Have no judgments about your life.  No expectations.  Give up the need to know what happens tomorrow.  Just be fully present and appreciate all that is in your life right now.” 

Again, I don’t think she suggests sitting around and waiting for life to happen for you, but instead to be fully present with where you are right now and to listen.  Listen to your inner voice, your joy, and your passion.  It is likely you haven’t heard what it is trying to say if you have been attempting to live a life that isn’t yours.  Enjoy this moment, be grateful for it, and listen to what comes up for you.  I think you will find your true self shine through and it may be 180 degrees different from the life you were trying to live, but I firmly believe when we are living fully from our authentic selves, life simply flows.  You might just find that your true path offers more joy, happiness, and peace than you ever imagined.

Are you willing to live from that place?

Gratitude: Accepting Mistakes

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I am finding my weekly gratitude practice changing and not in the way that I like.  As each week winds down I am finding it more difficult to remember specific moments during the week for which I am grateful, so I have decided to implement a daily gratitude practice written in a journal each day.  This will allow me to get into the flow of gratitude again and will help my weekly post here as well.

For this week as strange as it sounds I am grateful for accepting my mistakes.

As much as I would love to say (and feel) that I am perfect, of course I am not.  I make mistakes, but for some reason those mistakes affect me in a way that can be at times embarrassing and makes me really uncomfortable.  Of course no one likes to make mistakes, but that is usually where lessons are learned right?  Well I suppose I don’t prefer this method of learning lessons, I’d rather study the book of life, only there isn’t one.  So mistakes will happen and I will make many an I will learn from them (hopefully), though it isn’t always easy to accept.

Just a few moments ago, I realized I had made a mistake…several actually.  I was doing a task for my midnight hustle gig and it came to my attention that the link I had set up and sent to several people was incorrect.  This was the first time I had completed this task and I was a little anxious about doing it for fear of making a mistake, and sure enough I did.  Maybe it was my anxiety about making a mistake that caused it, or maybe my intuition was telling me to triple check everything.  Either way, the mistake was made.  Is it a world shattering, life altering, ginormous mistake? No, but sometimes it can feel that way.

So what have I learned???

I have learned to double and triple check my work.  I have learned to fix my mistakes as soon as I realize them and to accept it as a part of life.  Making mistakes doesn’t make me incompetent, irresponsible, or incapable of accomplishing my tasks.  What it does mean is that I am human and I am learning.

Mistakes are going to happen and when they do, I will look to them for the lessons they are teaching me instead of focusing on the how bad it feels at the time.  I am only human and what a blessing that is, mistakes included!