Lamisha Serf-Walls

How I’m Building My Life Coaching Dream

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In my last post I talked about my current midnight hustle and how my life coach training may have to be put on hold longer than I originally had planned, however I wanted to give you a little bit of insight into how I am keeping my focus strong on my dream of inspiring and changing lives through coaching.

I decided just before starting this blog, that I wanted to do something now that would  not only support my journey to becoming a life coach, but also keep me inspired, motivated, and focused on my vision.  Since I am very much a do-er, I wanted something that I could do besides sit and daydream about “one day when”.  Over time the list of things I am doing to prepare for my business has grown and I am delighted to share them with you in hopes that you find a bit of inspiration to take action on part of your dreams, even if you have to wait for other pieces to fall into place.

So far here is what I am doing to prepare, plan, and focus on my business:

Research -When I first realized I wanted to be a life coach, I had no idea where to begin, so naturally I enlisted the help of the internet and did as much research as possible.  I wanted to see how other coaches had gotten started, where they studied, and what they were doing.  I even spent some time interviewing people who were in the coaching business.  This piece has been essential and while I did most of my research in the very beginning, I still do a bit here and there as I begin thinking about what I want my business to look like.

Blog – As my excitement grew, I felt like I had to do more than just read about coaching.  I realized I was already coaching friends, family, and co-workers in one way or another, so why not use my writing to reach out and inspire others?  After many months of intentionally planning the focus for my blog, in October 2012 I started writing.  I decided my blog would eventually turn into a portion of my business page and what better way to launch a business than to have readers to launch it to?

Brainstorm – This seems like a no-brainer, but I have spent some time over the last year simply writing down ideas, thoughts, possible business names, and things I would like to offer within my coaching.  In fact, I have a notebook dedicated to my business ideas and the best part about it is I just let my creativity flow.  I don’t limit anything that I write or judge it as good or bad, I simply brainstorm.  Who knows what it might turn into?

Collect Information – A few months ago I started a folder in my email entitled “Business”.  In it I collect newsletters, blogs, advice, and other information that I receive from various websites I subscribe to and my intuition tells me this is going to be very beneficial later.  Much of the advice may not apply to me right now, but it is something I can use in the future.  For instance the last one I received today was from Jess Lively in her “Wish I Knew Wednesday” post about dealing with worry and doubt as it applies to business.  I highly recommend being added to her newsletter if you are thinking of starting or have your own business and want some advice from someone who has been running her own business since she was 15.  And since I didn’t study business in college and am a newbie to being my own boss one day, I will take all the advice I can get.

Learning– One other item I am doing a little bit of is studying other coaches and their methods as well as gaining valuable insight from a free training program a dear friend sent me.  I love learning and the more information and knowledge I have before I actually launch my business, the more confidant I will be.  So I am taking full advantage of any information I stumble upon that may add to my training (even before training), or my business knowledge.

Allowing – I had to add this tidbit of info because while it seems that I am actively planning and building my dream, that isn’t exactly the case.  I am simply allowing things to unfold organically.  Conversations lead to research and research leads to books with tons of information etc.  I am keeping an open mind and following the flow of life.  I know in due time my dream will become real

So in a nutshell that is how I am planning for my business that I have yet to create.  My vision is growing more realistic, vibrant, and exciting everyday and I can’t wait for the day I get to experience it.  The truth is it’s far more than a vision, this is my dream on a journey to becoming reality.

 

Do The (Midnight) Hustle

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Over the last few years I have come in contact with a handful of innovators looking to start (or recently started) their own businesses in various ways.  Some people were following their creative hearts, while others were simply looking for a way to be their own boss and spend more time with their families, but regardless of what these people were doing, one thing was common amongst them, the midnight hustle.

If you don’t know what that is let me explain.  The midnight hustle is the way many new business owners, creators, and innovators make their business dreams a reality.  Let’s face it, not many of us have the riches to simply quit our day jobs to follow our dreams without cultivating and growing our business on the side and by “on the side”, it likely means during the midnight hours when other people are sleeping, hence the name midnight hustle.  And with that midnight hustling often comes late nights, less sleep, hard work, and hopefully amazing inspiration to keep you moving toward your dreams so you can one day quit your day job and enjoy the fruits of your labor doing something that you truly enjoy.  And while I am far from quitting my day job, I am experiencing a bit of my own hustle as I reach beyond my comfort zone into new opportunities and new territory.  It’s exciting and terrifying all at the same time.

I have talked a little bit about my dream of starting my own life coaching business, but the truth is my dream isn’t to start the business per se, it is really to help people through my business.  I thought the path would be fairly straight forward, but I am finding that I may be taking a bit more of the scenic route as opposed to the straight shot as I go with the flow of life.  The programs I have found in the last year haven’t really touched me in the way that makes me think, “Yes this is the ONE!”, so I have been researching various programs in hopes to find the one that best fits my purpose and calling.  I think I have finally found it.  (YAY!) But, with it comes a pretty hefty price tag, one that is about double the price of the last program I was going to settle on.  So, it looks like the actual training may be put off longer than expected, but as you well know I am not one to sit around and do nothing and being the jack of many trades that I am, I am following an equally creative and exciting interest, writing.

The truth is I have always enjoyed writing but I have just recently begun to make some money from it and it is becoming a bit of a midnight hustle for me.  While I only have one regular gig right now, I am learning that the key to having one or many midnight hustles is balance and knowing your limit, both things I am working on right now.  I am very aware of the amount of time I have in my days (and nights) to complete writing projects and am working on a bit of a writing schedule that will allow me to continue to share my journey here on my blog (because I love it so much), and to still complete writing projects in a timely manner.  My hope is that my current midnight hustle will help support the training I need for life coaching and things will seamlessly flow with one another leading to (one day) quitting my day job to do something I love.  But, until that day comes I am going to consciously balance my time to include self-care, meditation, and family because life shouldn’t be all about work, it should be fun too.

Do you have a midnight hustle? If so what is it?

Don’t Forget To Dream

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In the last month or so I have spoken to two friends that I have known for several years.  Both are a bit older than myself and find that they have reached a point in life that they need a change.  After talking to them and asking them questions about why they feel the way they do, I came to the conclusion that they have lost the ability to dream.

I asked one of my friends the question I have asked many people regarding if money were not an issue what would she want to do, and I was astounded at her response.  She didn’t know.  She had no way of identifying what brings her joy or what she would want to do next in life.  A few weeks later, I was talking to my other friend and the conversation went in the same direction.  This friend even asked me “Am I too old to dream?” After telling her “Of course not, you are never too old to dream.”, she confided in me she didn’t know how to dream.  She had always been focused on getting by and simply making it to the next day, that she never allowed herself to think too far into the future.  While I believe living in the moment is a beautiful thing, dreaming is what makes life magical. 

I fear that many people in the world have lost their ability to dream at some point or another as they are overcome by their current reality.  Their current state of being has overpowered their ability to be open to possibilities and limited their ability to see the world through a child’s eyes again.  A world where there are no restrictions, no boundaries, and nothing stopping you from dreaming of the best life possible.  Sometimes we grow up knowing that bills have to be paid and so we must work and are often told to get our head out of the clouds and come back to reality.  If you ask me, losing the ability to dream is one of the most detrimental parts of being an adult.

The good news is that you can begin to dream again.  Just as I told both of my friends, just because you lose sight of it for a while, doesn’t mean it’s gone forever.  You simply have to flex your imagination and begin to see the world differently.  For some people dreaming doesn’t have to be winning the lottery or striking it rich somehow.  For many, dreaming means doing work that they love, making a difference in the lives of others, and simply being the best person they can be.  And if you have lost your ability to dream, you might wonder where to begin.

My first suggestion is to begin seeing the magic that is already around you, some of which you may be overlooking.  Keep a little notebook of magical moments and write them down as you experience them.  Maybe you want to keep a gratitude or beauty journal where you write down all the things you observe that strike you as beautiful or list items everyday that you are grateful for.  The key is to get out of your head and into the world.  Become an observer of your surroundings and look at the world through different eyes.  Enjoy the twinkling Christmas lights, notice the beautiful colors of the sunrise or the sunset at night, enjoy looking up at the stars at night and feel the abundant magic that lies within all of these things.  The more you begin to notice the magic of everyday life, the easier it will be for you to believe that you can employ that same magic in your own life.

The more you notice the magic around you, the more you will begin to feel the joy that comes with it.  The appreciation for the things, people, circumstances, and brilliance that are already around you.  Use that joy to begin thinking of other things that bring you joy and write it down.  In your perfect world what does happiness look like for you?  Describe it, feel it, taste it, smell it, and see it.  That is what dreams are made of.  They are magical visualizations full of vibrant feelings that employ all of your senses.  Dreams light the fire inside you to move forward and to not only believe your dream is possible, but to know it is.  Sure it might seem crazy to someone else, but this is your dream.  Dream it, feel it, and then go out and get it.

Life isn’t meant to be difficult.  Sure there are times when we all struggle with certain circumstances in life, but I truly believe life is meant to be enjoyed.  So find your joy again.  Find it, feel it, and keep it.  And as you venture through your day, and make your plans for 2013, don’t forget to dream!

From Psych-Out to Psych-Up

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There are many times in life when you have to simply ignore the anxious ramblings in your head that ask you if you are good enough, strong enough, smart enough, ______(fill in the blank) enough and like Nike says “Just Do It”.  Get rid of the negative self-talk, and the voice in your head that says you aren’t enough in whatever capacity and do what scares you anyways.  If you psych yourself out and you get cold feet and walk away simply because you are afraid, you will never know what the outcome could have been.  Simply put, if you don’t ask, the answer is always no.

 

As a writer most writing gigs don’t fall from the sky (I wish they did), but instead you must do your research, submit query letters, and apply, apply, apply, that is if you want to get paid.  And this writer despite the joy I get from writing this blog, would like to have more paid writing opportunities to add to my publishing portfolio.  So, I apply and most days after applying, I wait only to find that if you aren’t chosen for the gig, you never hear from the person ever again.  Sometimes that is better than hearing a flat-out no, but I guess that depends who you ask.  But, on the off-chance I get a response and they are asking for more information like I did this weekend, I begin to psych myself out, especially if it is something even the slightest bit out of my comfort zone.

The voice in my head begins its rambling of panic asking if I am good enough, and goodness forbid they ask me for a sample piece, then my mental chatter goes into overtime.  ‘Can I do this?’ ‘What if it isn’t good enough?’ ‘What if they say no?’  To which I respond sometimes, but psyching myself out entirely and end up not getting the gig.

Not this time!

I applied for a gig that I thought would be fun and interesting.  I genuinely want the gig, and it’s paid! (win-win all around)  It is something I knew I could do before applying, so why am I questioning it now?  Because that is how I work sometimes, not a good way to work, but the way I work none the less.  The difference is that instead of psyching myself out, I am psyching myself up.  I am going to write the sample, and give it my all because I know I can do it.  Not in a cocky, I am better than you kind of way, but the type of knowing that stands out as courageous confidence.  This writing gig is small, but if I want to fulfill my dream of being a published writer in various genres and eventually publish a book, this is a good step in that direction.

I am moving out of my head and into my heart.  The heart that knows that I can do this. The heart that has the confidence, the joy, and the courage to do something different even if it scares me a little, and in spite of the potential rejection, I am going to continue to move forward applying for other writing gigs that may scare me.  And if the chips fall and I am not selected for this particular writing gig, then it just wasn’t meant to be, and there will be another one (or two or three) out there for me and I look forward to those as well.

Moving forward confidently and courageously toward my dreams without all the negative mental chatter.

 

A Collaborative Approach

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I have never been a big fan of competition and as a dance coach I often found it challenging to get my dancers out of the mindset that if they didn’t bring home a trophy, then they were “losers”.  Instead of believing the myth that if you don’t win whatever you do doesn’t matter, I believe in progress and improvement, but beyond that the idea that we only have to be better than yourselves.

I often see people getting so wrapped up in what someone else is doing as they attempt to “be better than” so and so, or they feel the need to measure up to another person’s standards and successes that they lose their purpose.  They begin to focus on the other person and forget why they are doing what they are doing in the first place.

Our dreams are not here as a competition.  They are simply our heart’s desire that we wish to fulfill in our lives.  They are ours, and ours alone.  They are what we make of them, and it doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing.  Of course society says something very different.  In today’s world you have to fight your way to the top and sometimes that means stepping on others to get there.  We are constantly bombarded with not only the idea that we can reach the peak of perfection, but that perfection has a certain look, a certain feel, and a certain amount of money in a bank account.

I’m not buying it.

I say be the best you, you can be.  Don’t worry about what someone else is doing.  Don’t worry about how much money they are making, or how successful their business is compared to yours.  Focus on your life purpose, your dreams, and being a better you.  That is what matters.  And as you move along your path, support others in their goals and dreams and it will come back to you tenfold (that’s my belief anyways).  Find ways to collaborate with others and be more co-creative with a joint vision instead of seeing the other as your competitor.

In my opinion our society has too much division the way it is and we must take a different approach for our future.  Let’s support one another, collaborate in unity, and be kind.  Encourage, uplift, and inspire others to follow their dreams whatever they may be and if you happen to be in the same field and can offer some helpful advice, do it.  It is through this collaborative approach that we will all succeed in achieving our hearts desire, and the idea of competing against someone else’s dream or journey will be a thing of the past.

As I am beginning my own dream journey towards life coaching, I have been very fortunate to have several life coaches assist me with information, guidance, and insight into the training and the business aspects coaching.  At no time did I feel like they didn’t support me in my endeavors, or feel threatened by my questions and for that I am grateful.  I hope that as I move forward in my own career that I too can offer guidance, assistance, and insight to someone else on a similar path.

I invite you to think of (and act on) ways you can support others in their pursuits.  And if there is anything I can do to support, motivate, and inspire you, please let me know.