If there is one thing I know it’s what it feels like to be held back…mostly by myself.
You see, on this journey of mine, I’ve been a PRO at getting in my own way of success and expansion and at one point I had done it so gloriously that even after knowing what I was meant to do (coaching/writing/teaching etc) I stalled my progress for 3 years!!!
(Just the thought of where I might be now had I started earlier, still haunts me sometimes.)
When I look back on those moments I can see so clearly the exact things that were holding me back and stopping me from taking even the tiniest step forward.
Funny enough, they are also the things I see within my clients and it may be something you’re struggling with too.
If you’ve been feeling a bit stifled in your journey and you’re not quite sure what’s got you stuck, keep reading. I think you will find the info below really helpful.
4 Things that may be holding you back from greatness.
1. Your past. I can’t tell you how many times I hear people share with me how they can’t move forward on their path because their mom/sister/brother/spouse doesn’t support them ( or insert some other limiting story of the past). We all have a past and many of us have really painful, awful, sometimes tragic situations that have happened in our past that have been hard to overcome. I get it because I have one of my own and for a long time, I allowed it to hold me back. (Of course I didn’t know it at the time.)
When you are constantly revisiting your past in order to in some way validate where you are today, you are limiting yourself in a huge way. I am in no way trying to minimize what you have been through or the healing and care necessary to move through that, but what I am saying is that there is another way.
Your past can become the foundation that you build your future upon or it can become your resting place. You choose.
The more you give those past experiences your attention, the less power you have over your NOW. To be honest, this is a big reason I decided to go into coaching as opposed to therapy work. Don’t get me wrong therapy was a God-send for me many times, but at some point you have to shift your focus to what you are working toward and stop giving your power away to the things that have happened.
2. Analysis paralysis. Many people who are holding themselves back don’t have an issue with what to do, they have an issue with what to choose.
They spend hours, days, months, and even YEARS pondering what they should do next. Every thought seems to be followed with doubt, lack of confidence, and a general lack of clarity and momentum. They think, doubt, wonder, worry, and go through the cycle again without ever taking action.
They wonder things like…Which is the “right” way to go? How do I know if it will “work”? What should I do? What if I make the wrong move?
Again, I get it. I’ve been there and for 2+ years I delayed starting my soul’s work because I was overwhelmed with all the things. I didn’t know which way to turn or what to do. I doubted myself and even when I thought I had “decided” to do something, I couldn’t quite make it click because the doubt was within ME. I was afraid of moving forward more than I was afraid of staying where I was. So, round and round I went and it’s the same cycle I see many people in.
The answer? DO something. Make a list of all the things you can do to move you forward and pick one. The next day…do the same thing. Eventually you will get so used to taking (imperfect) action that it won’t be scary anymore.
3. Mind gremlins. I don’t have to tell you much about these because you probably already know them pretty well. The thing about mind gremlins (as I call them) is we ALL have them. I don’t care who you are or how far you’ve come. From time-to-time we all have that little voice in our head that causes us to question our abilities.
If your mind gremlins are like mine, you may see images of past failures populating your mind reminding you of just how tough it’s been and how you’ve “never” done anything like this before. Or maybe you hear your mom or dad’s voice saying something about how creative people are never successful or that, art isn’t a real job or some other incredibly frustrating thing that applies to your path.
The truth is YOU have power of your mindset and only when you understand that (and actually do something to change it) will things start moving for you. And let me tell you, it can move pretty quickly once you begin.
If you feel like you’ve been held back for a long time, your mindset may be on autopilot but the moment you start questioning (and maybe even responding to) the thoughts in your head, everything will change. I promise. So, take some time to take stock of the things you are thinking and then start being intention with your thoughts. If you dedicate at least 15 minutes a day to thinking thoughts that support and uplift you, I promise you will begin to feel the difference sooner rather than later.
4. You don’t know what you want. Sounds a bit nuts when you think about it, but it’s true. You might be surprised to know that there are far more people in the world who have no idea what it is that they want in life simply because they don’t think they can have whatever “it” may be. I talk to people all the time who when asked “What is it that you really want?” they reply with “I don’t know.”
Unfortunately, while some people are focused on living their dream life, there are far more people struggling to even dream. They’ve been knocked down so many times that they can’t quite get back to that “anything is possible” feeling we all had as children because they are so focused on being realistic.
Screw REALISTIC!
If you know anything about me you know realistic isn’t in my vocabulary. I despise the thought of anyone simply being “realistic” and settling for less than they desire and deserve. In fact, I’ve made it my mission in life to help people NOT be realistic and to actually give themselves permission to want what they want.
So, if YOU are one of those people living in “reality” and settling for whatever life throws your way, I beg you to reconsider and take a moment to ignite that inner child within you and go PLAY in your imagination a bit. If this is the thing holding you back, I want you to practice thinking outside the box for the next week. Daydream, journal, search exotic jobs and places on the internet, or follow that thread of creativity within you that has been whispering for sometime. Lean into it and see what bubbles to the surface. You may just find a whole treasure trove of goodness that will set your soul on fire and send you moving forward faster than you thought possible.
I want to leave you with one final thought in all of this.
STUCK isn’t forever and if you’ve been feeling like you have been chasing your tail for too long and you’re not sure when or how to make it stop…ask for help.
That is one of the things I waited too long to do. In fact, I waited a full 2 years (in my business) before I ever hired someone to support me. Now, it’s second nature to me.
You don’t have to do this alone and it doesn’t have to be hard.
Reach out. Ask for help. Believe in yourself. Get curious. Lean into the process.
When you do that, magic happens.
I know because I’ve been in your shoes.
So here’s the deal, if you’ve been struggling with 1 (or more) of the things above then my 6-week 1:1 program is what you need to shake the cobwebs loose and get you a plan of action forward again. It includes 3-45 minute coaching sessions and 6 weeks of unlimited guidance and support through video messaging and email for $597.
If you want to find out if we are a good fit to work together, hit the link below and let’s get you scheduled for a chat.
Your future is waiting for you.
