Lamisha Serf-Walls

The Doubt Factor: The real reason other people doubt you

by

It’s not YOU, it’s THEM.

That’s the easy answer.  But let me back up a moment.

Have you ever had an experience where you share your biggest, brightest, most expansive dream with a loved one only to have them crap all over it?

What started out as a celebratory conversation turns into a self-loathing, dream-crushing, doubt-filled experience that sends you back to the “logical” drawing board for your life.

I have had this experience more times than I can count and recently I had a client share with me her experience.

Hit the link below to find out what I told her.

 

Are you ready to build a solid, unshakeable belief system and mindset within yourself?  Schedule a free 30- minute consultation below and let’s chat about how we can do that together.

Book a FREE 30-Minute consultation here.

7 Things I’m Afraid to Tell You…

by

photo credit: Elf-8 Non no nej via photopin (license)
photo credit: Elf-8 Non no nej via photopin (license)

 

A few years ago, I came across a blog post by another coach titled “Things I’m Afraid to Tell You”. 

At this point, I can’t remember who that was, but I was intrigued by the concept and shared a few things with my tribe that I too was afraid to share and today I’m doing it again.

It’s always incredibly important to me that I be 100% honest and real with you because after all, I am only human.  You may read some of these and find that I am no longer a coach you want to follow or find that I am exactly the kind of coach you want to be a part of your life.  Either way, I know it’s all for the best.

So, without further ado (and more procrastinating) here we go!

  • I just pulled the plug on the 60-Day Momentum Mastermind.  – You know that new blended program I put together and announced last week that was supposed to begin on Monday?  Yep, I pulled the plug.  The truth is, it was something I have been wanting to do for a long time (create a blended program), but something didn’t feel quite right about it.  So, instead of trying to revive it in some way, I’m pulling the plug.  There is a part of me that is slightly embarrassed, yet also incredibly relieved about it because it frees up a bit more time for me to do something else. (More on that soon.)
  • I’m afraid of what you think of me.  There are times when I really overthink what I want to say to you because my intention is never to offend you or rock the boat.  There are times when I wonder if I’m “selling” too much and creating too many offers and I wonder what you might think of me because of it.  (On a deep level, I guess I just want to be liked.)  But, then I remember why I am in business to begin with.  I love what I do (most of the time) and if I am creating offers (or pulling the plug) there is a very good reason for it and who am I to keep that from YOU, especially if it’s something that could help you?  This is also the reason I was hesitant to share an article I wrote on race that was recently published on ElephantJournal.
  • Sometimes I get bored with my business.  Now let me be clear, I am NEVER bored with the people I work with…ever.  But, there have been times (ahem-recently) when I have felt a bit bored with myself and my business.  I am the type of person that likes to shake things up and get really excited about new things I am offering in general and if it’s feeling a bit stagnant, my inspiration goes down the tubes and I have to regroup and reset myself.  The truth is, I’ve been feeling that way for a bit now and I’m just itching to bring in some fresh new energy to shake things up.  (Again, more on that later.) To be clear, I LOVE what I do, I love who I work with, but sometimes I don’t love the way I do things, so I have a need to switch it up.
  • Sometimes I don’t feel like “enough”.  When my mind-gremlins start kicking up, I get so stuck in my head about things that I start believing the crappy thoughts that come up and I feel like I’m not enough.  Not smart enough, strong enough, clear enough, good enough, blah, blah, blah.  Most recently, I felt like I wasn’t a good enough mother.  I’m human.  Sometimes these are quiet thoughts in the back of my mind and other times they can take me to my knees and make me cry uncle, but I always come out the other side stronger, because I know that this is just another part of the up-leveling process for me.
  • I am a lesbian.  I realize that many of you know this about me already and it shouldn’t even be a “thing”.  I get that, but I’d be lying to you if I told you that even after being ‘out’ for close to 15 years now (plus being married to the woman of my dreams and having a family too) that there isn’t a part of me that worries what other people might think of me because of this fact.  I also realize that for some people, this is an utter and total deal-breaker.  (There is an unsubscribe button at the bottom of this email, should this be a deal-breaker for you.  No hard feelings at all and I wish you all the love in the world.) Moving on…
  • I am a card-carrying (not really) woo-woo coach & intuitive.  All this means is that I am deeply in touch with my intuition (something we all have) and I am able to feel into the circumstances, energy, and “stuff” that clients have going on pretty easily.  It’s my super-power an while it’s not something I try to explain (and to be honest, most of my clients don’t really ask) it’s 100% how I work.  I also often use oracle cards with clients and occasionally will offer to do readings for people if that’s something they are into.  (If that’s something you’re interested in let me know because I LOVE doing them.). The truth is, all of this spiritual and “woo-woo” stuff makes me the coach I am and it helps me, help you.
  • Sometimes, life gets the best of me.  Basically what that means is that there are times when I need to retreat, regroup, rehash, revive, and refresh my mind so I can show up and be the best for you.  It is often accompanied by general shit going on in my personal world (like this past month my wife had surgery, Mercury Retro gave me a run for my money, and I was totally off of my mindset practice.) that takes me off track.  For the most part, I don’t like to share too much of that with you because, well-who likes to talk about that stuff?  I mean, it’s the stuff that makes me relate-able, and human I suppose, but it’s just not fun to share.  That, and part of me doesn’t want you to think less of me because of it.  (I’m also a recovering, perfectionist.)

So, I guess that’s it for this round and honestly it wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be.  I expect there may be some people who leave my tribe because of one or more of what I listed above and to you I wish you all the best.

For those of you who are sticking around-I’m so happy for you to be here!  Stay tuned because the next email you receive from me is SO exciting and you don’t want to miss it!!!

P.P.S. If you LOVE being a part of my tribe and you’ve been wanting to work with me 1:1 (and you aren’t currently), hit reply to this email OR sign up for a free 30-minute consultation and I’ll give you the inside scoop on this very-super-secret-squirrel-crazy thing I’m cooking up that I’ll be announcing to the public in a few days.

The day FEAR almost won…

by

photo credit: "Fear" in stone via photopin (license)
photo credit: “Fear” in stone via photopin (license)

The day FEAR almost won, happened just last week.

The scenario is one I see my clients struggle with every single day and yet, I had been so far removed from it myself I almost forgot what it felt like…until last week.

Recently I’ve been feeling the call to get back to writing on a regular basis.  To write from the heart and share my message authentically and with purpose.  Over the past few months it hasn’t felt like the right time or the right moment to write and to be honest, I didn’t have a ton of inspiration to do so, yet I made the commitment in my mind and I knew the time would come for me to write again…and it did.

Last week, our world was hit with more violence and protests that brought up a TON of emotion for so many people, myself included.  I had a visceral response to it all and I felt called to write about it, only I was afraid.

You see, this work that I do…it’s more than just a career for me.  It’s my mission.  It’s my calling.  It’s my gift to the world and when I see that the world is crumbling in turmoil and I feel inspired and called to speak, write, or share on the topics, I can’t ignore it.

My business is my platform in a way and from day one I’ve committed to using that platform to promote peace, understanding, compassion, non-judgement, love, and joy in all areas.  But, it also means sometimes I have to do things that are uncomfortable for me to do.  Say things I’m uncomfortable to say, and share a message that may not be popular and last week I did just that.

I wrote an article that came directly from my heart and soul.  The words poured out of my fingers and onto the computer with ease.  There was no question of what needed to come through, but a part of me was afraid to write it.

To be honest, an even bigger part of me was afraid NOT to write it.  So, I continued writing and when I was finished I submitted it for publication.

When I first wrote it, I wasn’t exactly clear on where it would end up.  All I knew was that I needed to write it.  Once it was complete, the next step seemed obvious and after I hit “submit”, the fear set in.

 

“What will people think?”

“It’s so different from what I write! What if people hate it?”

“What if people hate me?”

“What if…”

The FEAR just wouldn’t go away and yet there was a part of me that knew it was all going to be ok.

I followed my inspiration and I knew that it would be ok.  I just knew it.

After a few hours or so, I forgot about the fear of ‘what if’ and honestly forgot I had submitted the article completely.  A few hours later, I received an email letting me know my piece was accepted for publishing and that I would be notified once it had been published.

I was shocked. Afraid. Worried. And funny enough I was proud.

I was proud that I had once again followed my intuition and inspiration and I had not let fear win.

I was proud that I was walking my talk and doing the things that scare me, even when I’m unsure of how it will all work out, but even more so, because I listened, I took action, and I let go.

The actual article has yet to be published, but as soon as it is, I’ll update this post for you so you can read it in all it’s glory.

The moral of this story is this:

 

Fear may try to stop you from doing the very thing that will move you closer to your vision.  Don’t let it. Follow your intuition, take that big action and trust that it’s all working out in your favor, even when you can’t see the entire path.

My question for you today: What is it that you are MOST afraid to do, but you know you NEED to do?

My advice…go do that!

 

MOST people aren’t willing to do this…are you?

by

photo credit: Sunset Jump via photopin (license)
photo credit: Sunset Jump via photopin (license)

TRUTH TIME—>

MOST people aren’t willing to do what it takes to make their dreams come true.

I’m not talking about blood, sweat, tears, “hard” work and hours of sleep lost either.

I’m talking about breaking out of the safe, secure, and let’s be honest, a bit too predictable-comfort zones we find ourselves in just before we realize we MUST break free.

You see, most people FEAR the unknown.

I know I did…hell I STILL do!

I’m equally terrified by the thought of big changes and completely stifled when I don’t have enough change.

BUT, I’ve learned to DANCE with it. I’ve learned to get comfortable with the discomfort and TRUST that the path forward will always end up with something amazing, mind-blowing, and soul expanding for ME.

It ALWAYS leads to a greater lesson, bigger purpose, longer-lasting joy and alignment…always.

But it wasn’t always that way.

In fact, the more I fought the idea of change and leaping outside my comfort zone, knowing good and well that is exactly what I needed, the harder it got.

The very foundation upon which my identity was built began to crumble, one brick at a time.

I lost myself, my vision, my safety net and was all of a sudden blessed with this incredible desire that scared the shit out of me.

I was going to change the world and hadn’t the slightest idea HOW or WHY I thought I actually could do something so big.

 

Who the hell did I think I was???

I didn’t think I was anything special and yet, I couldn’t let this feeling go.

I tried to ignore it for years, but you see that’s the thing about your purpose…when it’s your purpose…I mean REALLY your purpose, you can’t hide from it, no matter how hard you try.

So, I had nothing else to do but step into the unknown one inch at a time and trust as much as I could.

NOW…well now taking risks and stepping into the unknown is a bit easier.

It’s definitely still uncomfortable, but now I know the reward that comes from what feels like a huge risk and I know it’s worth it.

The life you desire, the career you crave, the pure joy that you know is possible yet still slightly out of reach—> all of that lies just outside your comfort zone and you must be willing to take the risk to step into the unknown in order to experience the amazing expansion your soul craves.

That’s just how it is.

So…tell me what’s more comfortable for you?

Continuing on the path of certainty and settling for the mediocre experience you’ve grown used to?

OR

Stepping out, with maybe wobbly knees and butterflies in your stomach onto a path that is a risk, but the reward is oh so sweet you can almost taste it now?

I chose the risk.

What do YOU choose?

6_silver-line

Are YOU willing to do what it takes to step out of your comfort zone and into your zone of purpose and genius?

Are YOU ready to stop trying to hide from the inevitable and get on with it already?

Are YOU done settling once and for all and committed to making the rest of your life the absolute best?

If so, hit the button below and let’s connect.

Schedule FREE 30-Minute Consultation

 

The other side of stuck…

by

photo credit: Always greener on the other side. via photopin (license)
photo credit: Always greener on the other side. via photopin (license)

Fact:  98% of the women I work with come to me for help because they are feeling STUCK.

Fact: 100% of those women are intelligent, soulful, and more than capable of doing all the ‘logical’ things to get themselves unstuck.

Fact: BUT…the thing that really has them STUCK has nothing to do with logic.

If you’ve ever been stuck in a rut and found yourself wondering how the heck to get out, you know what I’m talking about.  You’ve likely tried everything to get unstuck, yet often still find yourself in the same place you were before, only now more frustrated and disheartened.

I know because about 8 years ago I was exactly where you are, feeling the same things.  Frustrated, disconnected, and frankly a bit pissed off.

In my heart I knew I was meant for SO much more than the life I was living, yet everywhere I turned to find a ‘logical’ out…I hit a dead end.

The truth is, I was looking in all the wrong places and I didn’t know…what I didn’t know.

Imagine being in school trying to figure out a math problem only you have absolutely no idea what you don’t know, so you don’t even know what kinds of questions to ask.

Yep…when you are feeling stuck in life, it’s kind of like that.

You wiggle and squirm and do what you can…logically, but sometimes what you need to do isn’t logical at all.  Sometimes what you need to do has everything to do with stepping out on faith and trusting yourself and the process.

I learned that the hard way.

And you know what?  Sometimes you just need to ask for help.

Fact: Being STUCK is not a sign that there is something wrong with you.

Fact: Being STUCK is simply a message that it’s time for you to step-up and grow…that’s it.

Feeling stuck is a symptom that is meant to make you stop, ask for help and make some changes that will transform your life for the better…guaranteed.

And if you are currently feeling a bit disheartened and stuck in the rut of life right now, I have an opportunity for you that you won’t want to miss!

Introducing: Break Free From Stuck: Group Edition

LOST

For the last 8 months or so, I’ve been working with women 1:1 in this 4-week program to help them shift the mindset stuff that has them spinning their wheels.  I’ve helped them see exactly what has them stuck (it’s usually not what they think it is) and armed them with the tools they need to clear the junk and move forward with more passion, inspiration, and freedom than ever before.  Simply put, I’ve helped these women get out of STUCK and into FREEDOM in just 30 days!

In that time I felt a calling to offer this in a group forum to help even more women and it’s all starting February 1st!!!

This 6-week journey includes weekly support, bi-weekly group calls, loads of tips, tools, and strategies, as well as an opportunity to energetically clear what has you stuck the most right now and so much more!

Honestly, is there any better way to begin the year than to take massive action that will set the stage for more freedom and flow in your life for 2016?

If you’re interested in what the program entails and you are dying to know how to register (PSST! There’s an early bird offer WITH a bonus that expires soon, so hop on over and check it out!), you can find out more by hitting the button below. I can’t wait to see you there!

TELL ME MORE!