Hello lovely dreamers!
I am so happy to share with you a very special post I did for an amazing website called Kind Over Matter. Check out my post and find out how I found myself Leaping Over the “How” Hurdle as I reached for my dreams and how you can too!
Enjoy!
We have all had this experience at one time or another right? You have an amazing dream, you work hard for it, you have a passion that runs deep, yet you keep running up against brick walls and speed bumps. And then as you open your Facebook page to drown your sorrows in some mindless news feed scrolling, you see the amazing things everyone else is doing. (What?!)
You see business posts about how someone just made a bajillion dollars within their very first day of launching a new program. Someone else just had a baby and is now rockin’ a beach body with 6-pack abs and don’t get me started on the other people taking amazing vacations, getting job promotions, and landing free tickets to their favorite show. All the while you feel like pulling your hair out because you can’t get your website to look right, your clients won’t call you back, and your dog just puked on the rug. (Insert a string of expletives here.)
You wonder how it can be so easy for everyone else and not for you. You question what you are doing wrong and as shallow as it might sound, you want what they have…and you want it yesterday!
Can I tell you a secret?
You are not alone. Everyone has had their own experience with the big, ugly, green-eyed monster, especially when things feel like they are taking a turn for the worst. I’ve been there and the reason I am writing this post now, is because I found my own green-eyed monster poking it’s ugly head out a bit recently and I don’t like it.
Step one in dealing with the monster is recognizing it. Step two is realizing that everyone has their own version and you are not alone. Step three, dismantle it.
But how?
I think we all know that the face we put on Facebook and other social media platforms isn’t always 100% accurate right? I mean, sure people post their best statuses and best pictures during times when things are going well, but that doesn’t accurately depict what is really going on in their lives. And even if their lives are all shiny diamonds and gorgeous rainbows, there really is no reason to compare.
Take your big dream for example. It’s YOURS. It’s unique, exciting, and dipped in all your amazing-ness because it is your dream, not someone elses. Their path to success isn’t going to be the same for you and let’s be honest, how they define success might not be the same either. For one person success is being able to live a minimalist lifestyle with their family at home while another is being able to travel the world on a whim. Your dreams, your goals, your success, are all yours. You get to dictate what it looks like, how it feels, and what that means to you.
That sounds all fine and good but when it feels like things are going nowhere and your dreams have grown stagnant, their lives sound really good. So what about that?
In my own experience (just this past week), I have had to identify where the green-eyed monster was coming from. Is it really about what they have or is it a lack that you feel regardless of the comparison? Is it because they are so much further than you or are you worrying about something that has yet to come?
Understanding the core issue to envy is key, but it can be hard to pinpoint especially when you are in the throes of it. Here are a few things to remember when dealing with your own big, ugly, green-eyed monster:
We have all experienced our own version of the green-eyed monster, so if you find yourself feeling a bit envious, just be easy with yourself. Your time will come and your journey will be amazing, in its own way. For now, just relax, regroup, trust the process, and remember why your dream is so important to begin with. And if all else fails, stay off of social media sites, chances are you could use a little unplugged time anyways.
In the past few weeks I have had several conversations with potential clients about their dreams and the multitude of ideas they have flowing through their minds at any given moment. With so many ideas and so much creativity, they are finding themselves paralyzed and unsure of what to tackle first. It is sort of like seeing your to-do list with 15 different things on it and not really knowing where to begin, so you just don’t do anything.
Have you been there before?
I think it is something that happens to many of us when overwhelm sets in. Just taking that first step can be scary and is enough to cause you to ignore it and procrastinate even more.
So where do you start?
I find it much easier to start with the small stuff and use that to build momentum for the bigger things.
But what if it all feels like ‘big stuff’?
That is a valid question considering when we first set out to accomplish our dreams, they can often feel like huge mountains to get over, but if you can take a step back for a moment and look at the bigger picture, you might be able to make out a tiny first step. If you still are having trouble, hiring a coach or chatting with someone about your ideas can help put your thoughts to rest a bit more so you can take the first step.
The truth is, what you do in that first step matters less than the fact that you just begin. When I took the leap to begin my coaching practice, my early first steps entailed a ton of research. I looked at coaching programs, various coaches, credentials, coaching philosophies, and even contacted two coaches to talk to them about the work they do. Some of my other small steps included just writing down all of my ideas, coming up with a name for my website, and getting a bare bones website up and running. Some of those steps took mere moments to complete while others took upwards of a week or more, but every time I sat down to work on it, I felt like I was making progress and that led to more momentum.
Still need help deciding what those first steps might be? Check out the examples below.
The truth is no matter how many dreams/goals you have accomplished, there are always going to be more, so take it step-by-step and start small. And if you find yourself at a loss for where to begin and what to do to get started, feel free to set up an introductory coaching session with me. I am happy to chat with you about untangling the web of ideas you have in your head that might be keeping your paralyzed. In fact, I love helping clients break their big, bold dreams into bite size steps that result in a big win! Let me help you do the same.
Chances are if you are reading this you are one of the purple people. I am not talking about the Oompa Loompa people from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory either.
When I say purple people, I am referring to the dreamers, healers, creatives, writers, and other artists of the world that Tama Kieves talks about in her book Inspired & Unstoppable. These are the people who dare to forge their own path to success and don’t need to follow in the steps of someone else. The truth is every person in the world can be a purple person, but for far too long we have been taught to follow tasks, plans, parameters, and success principles of others and have forgotten how to tap into our intuition and inspiration for guidance.
When was the last time you felt for the right decision instead of consulting some plan or to-do list that you have written down?
I have to say that when you are taught not to trust your own instincts it can be hard to believe in yourself to know what is the right way…for YOU.
I think I have always known that I was a ‘purple person’ or at least that I was different. Having done all the things I was supposed to do in life, I fully expected some moment when all the hard work would result in pure bliss, but something was always missing.
I used to say I had two parts of myself that struggled against one another. On one hand I was a responsible, level-headed, and logical person that was always striving to do what was “right”. On the other hand I had a free, creative, and adventurous spirit that was calling me to do something more. Whenever I had to make a decision the two parts collided to create a wave of confusion and frustration. I was stuck.
Even after making the choice to follow my own path and I began coaching others to do the same, I find the logical voice still creeps in during times of uncertainty.
Am I doing it the right way? Is this how a business is supposed to run? Do I have all the marketing and business know-how to succeed?
The answer is yes. Do I have all the answers I need right this very minute? Nope. But, I am ok with knowing and trusting that I will find my way as long as I stay open and true to my intuition. Things fall into place at exactly the right time and if it hasn’t happened yet, it’s not the right time…for me.
The same goes for you. You will know all that you need to. You will find your way and when you do, at first you might be amazed at how perfect it feels. You might even try following someone else’s path and direction first and realize how hard, frustrating, and forced it feels. That’s ok. It’s all part of the process, but once you tap into who you truly are and the amazing wisdom that lies within, things will be a lot more clear.
Will it always be easy?
No, but it will get easier as you move forward and I promise you, the “purple people” path is about passion, fire, and following your inspired heart.
If each step feels right for you and leads you to the very next step, how can it be wrong?
Trust yourself, your dreams, and your gifts. If you can do that all the steps in between will be clear.
It’s a new year and you finally know what you want to do. Your dreams are big, your inspiration is on fire, but your confidence is a little lacking.
You aren’t quite sure where to start. Maybe you have some doubts about if you have what it takes to begin.
You wonder: Do I have enough money? Time? Experience? Do I even know how to get started? I mean if you had all that wouldn’t you have started already?
Maybe not.
The truth is, very few people have everything they need to accomplish their dreams up front. Sure, you may have an idea of what you need to get started, but what if inspiration is all you need to get started? What if, deciding what you want to do is the only thing you need to begin?
What if that were true?
I have a secret. That is all you need to get started, but chances are you know more than just that.
You have inspiration, ideas, imagination, and you already know some of what is needed to get started and there is something you can do now to move you in the direction of your dreams.
Start where you are.
Don’t wait until you have the money, the time, the steps, the certification, and the perfect plan. Start now, with what you have.
There is always something you can do to get you moving in the right direction and I promise it doesn’t have to be hard or frustrating. It can be fun, exciting, and inspiring. Not sure how to start? Need a little nudge or a creative pow wow?
I can help. I can meet you where you are with all that inspiration in your soul and help you find that first step. That first simple, fun, and exhilarating step that together, we can build on through our coaching together. It’s time for you to respond to the call and make your dreams a reality.
Interested? If so, contact me today and we can get you scheduled for your intro session to discuss your beautiful dream. Together we can make some incredible things happen. What are you waiting for?