Lamisha Serf-Walls

Delegating The Dream Details

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I have often mentioned that I am a recovering “do-er”, meaning I far too often attempt to use action to make things happen instead of allowing them to happen naturally.  I guess it stems from the mentality that “if you want something done, you gotta do it yourself”, however time and time again I have learned that isn’t always true.  Sometimes the missing pieces fill in perfectly when I give my project the breathing room it needs.  The missing piece may come in the form of a quiet thought while I am focused on something else, or it comes from someone else entirely.  Either way I am learning that I don’t always have to make things happen and that goes for the details of my dreams as well.

Have you ever woken up from a dream with a knowing of what happened, but the details are fuzzy?  You can feel what happened and in some cases you can see the big picture but can’t quite make out the details.  That’s how it can feel when you are inspired to achieve your life dreams.  Often we find ourselves very aware of the big picture.  We know what we want in the end.  We can see it in our minds and feel the deliciousness in our soul, but the details that lead to that big picture are fuzzy.  Some are even invisible.

I am in that space in regards to my coaching business.  I can visualize the end result and the many services and goodies I want to offer my clients, yet many of the details have yet to fill in.  I even found myself moving into “do-er” mode last night while trying to research some of the details.  Not only was the action not inspired action, but it just felt forced.  I realized I was forcing the details to fill in and based on my previous experience, forcing them is never a good idea.  Sure it might get done, but it won’t be without some unnecessary headaches and frustration.  Remembering that, I stopped in my tracks and let it go.

Or so I thought.

This morning I couldn’t shake the feeling that I should be doing something in regards to some of the details.  See, my old thought processes are kicking into gear and becoming impatient with my progress.  The deeper part of me knows that all is well and things are moving along beautifully, however the “do-er” is pulling her hair out.  She would ask a million questions about “how”, “when”, and “who” if I let her, however I have done a pretty good job of keeping those thoughts at bay.  I know my dream is coming together perfectly and that the details will fill in accordingly, but what about the “do-er”?  I had to figure out a way to appease that part of me that wants to make lists and action steps and all that jazz.  So, here’s what I did…

I made a list, but the list was not for me to worry about.  It was a list to the Universe (insert God, Goddess, Energy, whatever tickles your fancy).  On this list are some of the details the “do-er” can’t seem to let go of.  Instead of worrying about them day in and day out, I am letting go of my control over them.  I am accepting and trusting the fact that they will be handled appropriately and only when I am ready to deal with the details (through inspired action and inspirational nuggets), will I take control of them.  Until then, they are out of my hands.

Think of it as delegating tasks.  When the details begin to get overwhelming, delegate.  I am choosing to keep the things on my “list”, that inspire, delight, and motivate me to continually make progress.  The Universe can handle the rest.  And when the time is right, I trust that the details my “do-er” has been stressing about, will fill in beautifully and all will be well.

Far too often we allow the details to overwhelm our excitement and passion for our dreams.  We allow reality as we see it to limit our beliefs and thinking in such a way that it stalls our forward movement.  But, what if instead of worrying about the “how”, we allow it to be revealed to us in perfect timing?  That isn’t to say we get lazy with our dreams, it simply means to keep the vision and motivation alive while not getting bogged down with the idea that we have to figure it all out right this moment.  The truth is we don’t.  All will be revealed in perfect timing.

The vision you hold and the good feelings that stem from your dreams will lead you effortlessly to the “how”.  You just have to have a little faith and delegate the details to the Universe to figure out.

When Inspiration Fades

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It is an awesome feeling to following your inspiration into action.  The fire is burning and you just can’t help but feel energized and uplifted.  But what happens when inspiration plummets?  How can we invoke that inspirational spark that moves us in the direction of our dreams?

There are a number of things you can do to bring that inspirational spark back into your life as long as you don’t try too hard.  I have found that when I am feeling anxious about something and really feel like I need something to happen almost out of desperation, it makes it that much more difficult to grasp.

Here is what I have found to work for me:

  • Take a break- If you have been thinking about something or have been working on a project for a long period of time and are getting more frustrated by the minute, sometimes taking a step back from it can help you regroup and allow your ideas to breathe.  I find this particularly useful when I am writing or doing choreography.  Sometimes I am just not in the flow and leaving it for a few hours or days can make all the difference in the world.
  • Meditate-You may be wondering how slowing your thoughts can lead to more ideas and creativity, but when you give your mind a little break from thought after thought after thought, you allow the space that is needed for ideas to flow into your consciousness.  Not sure what your next step is in achieving your dreams?  Meditate with the intention to allow thoughts to come and go and if you don’t get the answer you are looking for, that’s ok.  It may come to you after meditation or on another day.  By giving your mind a break you are simply inviting inspiration to come.
  • Read- I love to read and am always reading other blogs, books, and articles for inspiration.  I don’t look for a specific idea, but I find I am drawn to exactly what I need to read at exactly the right moment (similar to the inspiration nuggets).  If you are stuck on a particular writing project, read the work of authors you enjoy.  If you aren’t sure where to move forward in your business venture, research others in your same business and see what they are doing.  This is not meant to replicate what they are doing, but it can often get the creative juices flowing again.
  • Get out in nature- Spend some time outdoors.  Go for a walk, a hike, or a run to get the blood pumping.  Allow the natural rhythm of the great outdoors to soothe your mind and feed your soul.  You may find that as you look at your surroundings ideas come to you easily.  Maybe Mother Nature will provide you with an idea or two as you revel in her beauty.  I love spending time outside and I find it helpful to just get away from the office and my computer for a while to refresh my thoughts.
  • Let it go- I often have a tendency to obsess over a problem until I have found the solution.  More specifically if I want to do something I need to know how I am going to do it.  I am learning that if I just let it go for a while and think about something else, I let go of the resistance that is keeping the solution from me.  Sometimes when you are searching for something you only find it when you stop looking.  (Ever lost your keys only to find them when you stop looking for them 2 hours later??)  This doesn’t mean let go of your idea, your goal, or your dreams, but sometimes we need to allow the Universe to work some magic for us.  So, let it go for a bit.
  • Get happy-Take some time to do something you enjoy.  Read a book, watch a movie, take a nap, or write a list of things you are grateful for.  Often taking some time to do something you utterly enjoy can take the frustration out of a creative block and you might be surprised where your next ideas come from.  I often get ideas or confirmations from things I read, movies, or in a conversation I have with someone.  It is amazing how easily inspiration flows when you are in a relaxed and happy state.  So, what are you waiting for??? Get happy!
  • Be open- You never know where your next inspirational nugget will come from so by simply setting the intention to be open to any and all forms of inspiration, you are inviting those nuggets to flow your way.  Go about your daily routine knowing that your inspiration will return and just be open to what may show up.  You may be surprised to find where your inspiration comes from.

What do you do when you need a boost in inspiration?

Flowing vs Forcing

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After my big announcement yesterday I had a difficult time sleeping last night.  I don’t know if it was the excitement of sharing the big news or if it was my mind running wild with all kinds of ideas and insights.  One thing is for sure though, my inspiration is high and I am so excited about moving forward with my dreams, I can hardly stand it.  I am trying to stay in the inspirational mindset and not allow myself to float away on a sea of questions that seem to be popping up here and there.

Questions like:

How are you going to get clients?

When will you start?

How much will you charge?

Are you sure you can do this?

How? How? How?

I am letting go of all of those questions right now and focusing on the current task…building my model.  Instead of worry about all the details, I am taking it one step at a time and allowing my inspiration to lead me and to be honest, my model is coming together faster than I expected.

I am allowing my inspiration to lead me as opposed to my logic.

I am choosing my dreams over what reality tells me.

I am choosing hope over doubt.

I am flowing with my ideas instead of forcing them and I must say it feels great!  Who knew letting go of the how could feel so good?

My Flying Leap!

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I love when I get messages from the Universe that catch my eye and provide a bit of meaning to my current situation…that is when I take notice.  Sometimes I don’t realize the meaning or impact of a quote, statement, or article until I look back, often kicking myself for not noticing it before.  But, as I am learning, everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t know what that is.

Looking back over the last few weeks I noticed I had an eery feeling of discontent upon waking almost everyday.  I didn’t have any particular worries on my mind and I couldn’t quite pinpoint the source.  I would meditate, write in my journal, and compile my gratitude list to help combat this feeling, but I was never really able to get rid of it entirely.  I have also been reading a lot.  Books, quotes, articles, other blogs, and newsletters all with a similar theme.  They became what I like to call “inspirational nuggets”, and while I really enjoyed the information, it didn’t really click.  At least not right away.

The first post was from the When I Grow Up Coach website.  It was about how Michelle Ward’s husband decided to quit his day job to venture into the freelance world.  It’s a really great post and you can read more about it here.  I read it and thought, “Gee I can’t wait to be able to do that.  Of course I will have to do x, y, z first and then…”

The second post was a post from Tiffany Han that discussed achieving your dreams Someday vs Right Now.  In my head my life coaching business has always been a someday kind of thing.  Sure I want to do it and I know that it is what I am meant to do, but there are so many things I should do first…or at least that is what I kept telling myself.  When I read this post, I was thought..”Sounds good but…” and I left it in my inbox to be read later.

I then received this post from The Green Bough which included the quote “I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument while the song I came to sing remains unsung.” by Rabindranath Tagore.  (Hmmm, do you see a theme here?)  It was this post that got me to start waking up a bit, but I still wasn’t there yet.

I hadn’t quite gotten the full message until a few days later when I was having a conversation with one of my co-workers.  She mentioned she had decided to go back to school to be a pre-school teacher.  She had mentioned wanting to do something other than the work she was currently in and just saying she was going back to school caused her to overflow with excitement.  I was so happy for her.  I congratulated her and told her how I wish I could move forward with my dreams, primarily the life coaching dream.  That is when she said, “You just gotta take the flying leap!”

The idea of a flying leap sounded freeing.  It sounded exciting.  It sounded like throwing my procrastination to the wind and finding another way for it to all work out.  But how???  From the time I decided I wanted to be a life coach the logical step was to get training.  In order to get training the logical step is to save for the training…you get the picture.  It was then I realized I have far more power and knowledge than I am giving myself credit for.

From the time I graduated from college I have been talking to, encouraging, and inspiring co-workers and friends to follow their dreams.  I started this blog for that very reason.  I wanted to continue to inspire others through my journey.  And while I thought there was something specific that I needed to learn in order to help people, I realized, I have been doing it for years already.  So why not take my own flying leap and create my very own model of coaching and do what I love?

I couldn’t come up with a good reason not to, so I took the leap.  I am currently working on a coaching model that I will use in my business.  I am no longer waiting for the “right time” or for someday to come.  I am choosing today and I must say it feels great.  I am inspired and challenged, but most of all proud that I am taking control of my dreams.

One day soon, I can help you take control of yours too.  (That sounds so good!)

Fearless Living…The “How”

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Let me first apologize to you lovely readers for taking so long to continue my thoughts from last weeks “fear” theme.  Sometimes the things we plan are not the things we must do in the moment and I am learning that more and more each day.  With that said, I am back and I am excited to update you on some recent developments in my world.

I ended last weeks post with a promise as to how I was going to begin living a fearless life as a way to teach my son (and future children) to do the same.  At the time my thoughts were on taking some much-needed action toward my goals and leaving fear in the dust.  Before I do that, let me give you a little insight into why I haven’t been moving forward as much as I would have liked.

I have talked a little bit about my plans to write a children’s book and I set the intention to begin writing on a certain date.  I thought the best way to do it was to jump right in, but I soon realized (after scheduling conflicts) that maybe I should wait until I have more inspiration before I begin writing.  I still stand by that decision, but the more I found myself waiting for the inspiration to hit me, I realized I was also allowing fear to dictate my plans.

I had a moment (or two) where I thought if I don’t start this book, I can’t fail.  But then again if I don’t start it, I can’t succeed either.  So, in order to accomplish my dream of writing a book, I have to write, but in order to write the best book, I have to be inspired.  To be completely honest with you fear was not only dictating my plans for writing a children’s book, but also my plans on starting my business and many of my other dreams.  Looking back, I can see my vision was a bit skewed.  I thought I needed certain pieces to fall into place in order to execute my plan of action.  I realize what that really was, was fear.

I was procrastinating and in a way sabotaging my dreams by not even getting started.  I did a lot of good talking about my dreams, about my plans, about the many things that had to happen first, and then I could start working on my dreams only to find they were excuses.  Excuses not to start for fear of failure.  Excuses not to begin for fear of not being good enough.  Excuses not to dream bigger, for fear my reality wouldn’t live up to the picture in my head.  And when I jumped off the boat of self-pity and self-sabotage, I remembered this…

The best part of our dreams is the journey we take in reaching them.  The mistakes we make, the lessons we learn, and the amazing experiences we have along the way make our lives worth living.  And to be completely honest with you, if all of my dreams came true in the blink of an eye, what fun would it be?  Sure my book series would be a success and my business would be booming, but would I appreciate it as much without the journey?  Probably not.

So, with that said I am accepting the journey ahead of me with open arms and while fear may accompany me a little bit along the way, I vow that I will not allow it to become the captain of this ship.  Instead, I am moving forward with my dreams and as I do, I will go where my inspiration leads me and I hope you do too.

(Tomorrow I will give you a little insight into the inspirational nuggets that have appeared to me in the last few weeks. )