Lamisha Serf-Walls

A Collaborative Approach

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I have never been a big fan of competition and as a dance coach I often found it challenging to get my dancers out of the mindset that if they didn’t bring home a trophy, then they were “losers”.  Instead of believing the myth that if you don’t win whatever you do doesn’t matter, I believe in progress and improvement, but beyond that the idea that we only have to be better than yourselves.

I often see people getting so wrapped up in what someone else is doing as they attempt to “be better than” so and so, or they feel the need to measure up to another person’s standards and successes that they lose their purpose.  They begin to focus on the other person and forget why they are doing what they are doing in the first place.

Our dreams are not here as a competition.  They are simply our heart’s desire that we wish to fulfill in our lives.  They are ours, and ours alone.  They are what we make of them, and it doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing.  Of course society says something very different.  In today’s world you have to fight your way to the top and sometimes that means stepping on others to get there.  We are constantly bombarded with not only the idea that we can reach the peak of perfection, but that perfection has a certain look, a certain feel, and a certain amount of money in a bank account.

I’m not buying it.

I say be the best you, you can be.  Don’t worry about what someone else is doing.  Don’t worry about how much money they are making, or how successful their business is compared to yours.  Focus on your life purpose, your dreams, and being a better you.  That is what matters.  And as you move along your path, support others in their goals and dreams and it will come back to you tenfold (that’s my belief anyways).  Find ways to collaborate with others and be more co-creative with a joint vision instead of seeing the other as your competitor.

In my opinion our society has too much division the way it is and we must take a different approach for our future.  Let’s support one another, collaborate in unity, and be kind.  Encourage, uplift, and inspire others to follow their dreams whatever they may be and if you happen to be in the same field and can offer some helpful advice, do it.  It is through this collaborative approach that we will all succeed in achieving our hearts desire, and the idea of competing against someone else’s dream or journey will be a thing of the past.

As I am beginning my own dream journey towards life coaching, I have been very fortunate to have several life coaches assist me with information, guidance, and insight into the training and the business aspects coaching.  At no time did I feel like they didn’t support me in my endeavors, or feel threatened by my questions and for that I am grateful.  I hope that as I move forward in my own career that I too can offer guidance, assistance, and insight to someone else on a similar path.

I invite you to think of (and act on) ways you can support others in their pursuits.  And if there is anything I can do to support, motivate, and inspire you, please let me know.

Gratitude: Technology and Sharing

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As I began thinking of the many things I am grateful for this week, it became quite difficult to decide what I wanted to include in this post.  I am beginning to take note of more things I am grateful for each week and make a mental note in preparation for this post each week.  Not only has it turned my attention to the many blessings in my life, but also to the things that sometimes we tend to overlook and take for granted.  I am delighted to see how my weekly gratitude post is overflowing into the rest of my week and allows me to become more aware of the richness of my life and I certainly don’t mean monetary richness.

This week I am extremely grateful for technology and while I am far less “techy” than I am creative etc., I realize technology allows for us to connect in so many ways across vast distances.  A little over a year ago my family and I picked up and moved to SC where we didn’t know anyone but our realtor (who we found via the internet).  There was a part of me that panicked a bit at the thought of starting over again, and having to find a way to meet friends, acquaintances etc.  My sense of community has always centered around my workplace and the people I meet there in addition to my lifelong friends from back home.  This time my community building would be different since I work for a company remotely (a blessing in and of itself) and I don’t have the luxury of meeting people in an office setting.  At first I found this to be a frustration and somewhat of a concern, until I realized how many people I connect with on a daily basis via the internet.  In fact there are quite a few people I have “met” through other friends either by phone or via the web that I have yet to meet in person.  In the business world they call it networking, I call it human connection.  Many of my friends are people I would never have known had it not been for the wonderful technology that allows me to connect with some really incredible people many miles away.  I was reminded of that this week as I emailed, text messaged, and blogged with people all over the world.  For that I am so very grateful.

This week I am also grateful for sharing.  I was reminded of this thought at various times this week, but the one that stands out the most was motivated by nature.  I posted about my monarch messenger last week and since then I have had many other butterfly friends visit our mums on the front porch (sometimes 3 and 4 at a time).  Earlier this week as I was going to check the mail, I walked by the mums and saw a flurry of activity from various butterflies, bees, bubble bees and flies.  The butterflies stole the show with their beautiful orange, black, and yellow wings, but I was struck by the ability of all these little beings sharing the same space and how they managed to do it with ease.  I stood there for a moment just watching them fly from one flower to the next and was mesmerized.  When I initially bought the plant, I simply wanted to spruce up our front porch for the fall as I loved the cheerful feel of the yellow mums.  Little did I know, I was creating a meeting place of sorts for many insects to come together to share in the beauty for their own individual needs.  It reminds me of the importance of sharing and exchanging with one another.  I began thinking of ways to apply this concept of sharing in my own life and even managed to share a few ideas and websites that I thought might be helpful to others.  I realized that the butterflies, bees, and flies became my teachers this week and what an amazing lesson in sharing it was.

What are you grateful for this week?

Gratitude: Connection and Twinkling Stars

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This week I have been feeling an immense sense of gratitude for many things and today I have chosen two to share with you.

 

The first thing I am grateful for this week is connection.  Connection with people, places, nature, and life as a whole.  This week I have been reminded of the profound connections we are capable of and when you become aware of these connections, it is a beautiful thing.  I am reminded that even with the many differences we have from one another, we truly are connected by a beautiful golden thread.  One that allows us to reach past our differences and see the wonderful human beings we truly are.  I am so grateful for my connection with my friends, my partner, and my son.  Connections that mean so much to me, and for each moment I am aware of these connections, I say a little ‘thank you’ because in that moment I realize I am in the flow of life, and loving every moment of it.

 
I am also grateful for gorgeous twinkling stars.  This morning as I was leaving the house just before placing my son in the car, I looked up and saw what looked like a million stars shining brightly.  It was amazing.  I told my son to look up and see the vast sky I was looking at and surprisingly he did.  We both just stared in awe for a few moments before getting in the car.  There was something so sweet about that moment that I shared with my son that gave me the warm fuzzies and made for a great start to the day.

 

I hope you find some wonder in your weekend ahead and take a moment to revel in the beauty of nature and the connections of every day life.  Life feels like it flies by sometimes, but when you take a moment to really experience it, one moment can feel like a lifetime.