Lamisha Serf-Walls

A Collaborative Approach

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I have never been a big fan of competition and as a dance coach I often found it challenging to get my dancers out of the mindset that if they didn’t bring home a trophy, then they were “losers”.  Instead of believing the myth that if you don’t win whatever you do doesn’t matter, I believe in progress and improvement, but beyond that the idea that we only have to be better than yourselves.

I often see people getting so wrapped up in what someone else is doing as they attempt to “be better than” so and so, or they feel the need to measure up to another person’s standards and successes that they lose their purpose.  They begin to focus on the other person and forget why they are doing what they are doing in the first place.

Our dreams are not here as a competition.  They are simply our heart’s desire that we wish to fulfill in our lives.  They are ours, and ours alone.  They are what we make of them, and it doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing.  Of course society says something very different.  In today’s world you have to fight your way to the top and sometimes that means stepping on others to get there.  We are constantly bombarded with not only the idea that we can reach the peak of perfection, but that perfection has a certain look, a certain feel, and a certain amount of money in a bank account.

I’m not buying it.

I say be the best you, you can be.  Don’t worry about what someone else is doing.  Don’t worry about how much money they are making, or how successful their business is compared to yours.  Focus on your life purpose, your dreams, and being a better you.  That is what matters.  And as you move along your path, support others in their goals and dreams and it will come back to you tenfold (that’s my belief anyways).  Find ways to collaborate with others and be more co-creative with a joint vision instead of seeing the other as your competitor.

In my opinion our society has too much division the way it is and we must take a different approach for our future.  Let’s support one another, collaborate in unity, and be kind.  Encourage, uplift, and inspire others to follow their dreams whatever they may be and if you happen to be in the same field and can offer some helpful advice, do it.  It is through this collaborative approach that we will all succeed in achieving our hearts desire, and the idea of competing against someone else’s dream or journey will be a thing of the past.

As I am beginning my own dream journey towards life coaching, I have been very fortunate to have several life coaches assist me with information, guidance, and insight into the training and the business aspects coaching.  At no time did I feel like they didn’t support me in my endeavors, or feel threatened by my questions and for that I am grateful.  I hope that as I move forward in my own career that I too can offer guidance, assistance, and insight to someone else on a similar path.

I invite you to think of (and act on) ways you can support others in their pursuits.  And if there is anything I can do to support, motivate, and inspire you, please let me know.

Make Room For Your Dreams

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I read a post last night from a friend regarding her experience of the “stuff” that is weighing her down and her intentions of letting it go.  It reminded me of something I have been thinking about for a few weeks now, as I have been making attempts to also clear out the old, to make room for the new (whatever that entails).

Have you ever heard the saying that when you open your hand to let go, it is also open to receive?  It can also be said that you must first let go of a little bit of your control to allow your dreams to manifest.  I think the same goes for making space, both literally and mentally, for your dreams to come true.  We often forget that in order to bring something new into our lives, we have to let go of the things that no longer serve us, be it behaviors, beliefs, or tangible objects that are blocking our ability to receive the resources we need to move forward.  Sometimes those beliefs, objects, or behaviors are all that we know and letting go of what we have always known for something that we can’t yet see is a scary venture.  I know, I have been there before.

The truth is our dreams are not guaranteed, but then again you could say that about anything in life.  The best we can do is have faith in ourselves and trust that we are not traveling this path by chance.  We are instead making a choice to live a life full of experiences, adventure and fulfilling our deepest desires and many times we must be willing to walk into the unknown to do it and sometimes that means letting go of the things that no longer serve your current reality to make room for the life you dream of.

I have always been much better at letting go of physical things than I am with letting go of my control (or perceived control as it may be).  I often find myself at the end of each season looking into my closet and donating items that no longer fit or things I haven’t worn in over a year.  I would much rather have the added space than the item I won’t use again.  When it comes to letting go of my expectations of myself or the beliefs I hold true about how my dreams should manifest, I am a bit more reluctant to let go.  Maybe it is because I am such a planner and when I get set on one plan, I begin to limit other possibilities.  Recently I have been thinking of what “stuff” I might need to let go of in order to receive the flow of energy, resources, and other contacts I need in order to make my dreams come true.

How can I make room for my dreams?

The first thing that comes to mind is time.  I hear people talking (myself included) about the lack of time they have, when really it is more about how you allocate your time.  Do you spend it doing things that will help benefit your dreams and goals or do you use it doing things that you feel you have to do?  Why not free up some time to do the things that will bring you closer to your dreams, no matter what it is?  For me this includes writing almost everyday.  I could become a much better writer if I committed to writing a little bit everyday and I could make the time if I got up only 30 minutes earlier each day.

Another thing I could do is clear out the belief that my dreams have to manifest based on the exact plan I have come up with.  My plan stems from what I believe is most feasible and realistic in achieving my dreams.  It is how I have come to know the world and my own abilities within it.  I know that by doing this I am not allowing the other innumerable possibilities to be an option.  My focus is so set on how I want it to happen, that I am quite possibly missing signs that could lead me in a direction I haven’t thought about.  I am by no means an expert in all the wonderful possibilities that my dreams could manifest, so how can I believe that there is only one way to do it?

I can’t.

I must be able to let go of the notion that I have it all planned out.  Sometimes, (actually most times) I don’t have the only way to do something and I frequently don’t even know the best way to do things.  When I let go of the idea that there is only one way to create my dreams, many more options present themselves.  The key is letting go and having faith that my dreams will come to fruition even if it isn’t the way I thought it would.  If I continue to believe in myself and my abilities and open my hands to release a bit of my control, my energy is then free to flow to the other possibilities that come my way.

So how can you make room for your dreams?  Do your dreams require you to pare down your belongings so you can travel the world for a year?  Maybe you want to start that business you have always wanted, but it means you have to free up some time, money, and space for that business to come alive.  Whatever dreams you have, what can you do to make room for them?

Gratitude: Technology and Sharing

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As I began thinking of the many things I am grateful for this week, it became quite difficult to decide what I wanted to include in this post.  I am beginning to take note of more things I am grateful for each week and make a mental note in preparation for this post each week.  Not only has it turned my attention to the many blessings in my life, but also to the things that sometimes we tend to overlook and take for granted.  I am delighted to see how my weekly gratitude post is overflowing into the rest of my week and allows me to become more aware of the richness of my life and I certainly don’t mean monetary richness.

This week I am extremely grateful for technology and while I am far less “techy” than I am creative etc., I realize technology allows for us to connect in so many ways across vast distances.  A little over a year ago my family and I picked up and moved to SC where we didn’t know anyone but our realtor (who we found via the internet).  There was a part of me that panicked a bit at the thought of starting over again, and having to find a way to meet friends, acquaintances etc.  My sense of community has always centered around my workplace and the people I meet there in addition to my lifelong friends from back home.  This time my community building would be different since I work for a company remotely (a blessing in and of itself) and I don’t have the luxury of meeting people in an office setting.  At first I found this to be a frustration and somewhat of a concern, until I realized how many people I connect with on a daily basis via the internet.  In fact there are quite a few people I have “met” through other friends either by phone or via the web that I have yet to meet in person.  In the business world they call it networking, I call it human connection.  Many of my friends are people I would never have known had it not been for the wonderful technology that allows me to connect with some really incredible people many miles away.  I was reminded of that this week as I emailed, text messaged, and blogged with people all over the world.  For that I am so very grateful.

This week I am also grateful for sharing.  I was reminded of this thought at various times this week, but the one that stands out the most was motivated by nature.  I posted about my monarch messenger last week and since then I have had many other butterfly friends visit our mums on the front porch (sometimes 3 and 4 at a time).  Earlier this week as I was going to check the mail, I walked by the mums and saw a flurry of activity from various butterflies, bees, bubble bees and flies.  The butterflies stole the show with their beautiful orange, black, and yellow wings, but I was struck by the ability of all these little beings sharing the same space and how they managed to do it with ease.  I stood there for a moment just watching them fly from one flower to the next and was mesmerized.  When I initially bought the plant, I simply wanted to spruce up our front porch for the fall as I loved the cheerful feel of the yellow mums.  Little did I know, I was creating a meeting place of sorts for many insects to come together to share in the beauty for their own individual needs.  It reminds me of the importance of sharing and exchanging with one another.  I began thinking of ways to apply this concept of sharing in my own life and even managed to share a few ideas and websites that I thought might be helpful to others.  I realized that the butterflies, bees, and flies became my teachers this week and what an amazing lesson in sharing it was.

What are you grateful for this week?

Links that Inspire

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I am always looking for blogs, books, or other material that inspires me to keep moving forward on my path to achieving my dreams and I thought I would share a few with you, in hopes that you may be equally inspired.

When I first began my research on life coaches I found an awesome life coach that not only had a clear vision, but an awesome personality to share with the world. Her passion is contagious, her intentions are clear, and her purpose is ever evolving. I have followed the When I Grow Up Coach (Michelle Ward) for almost two years now and I have watched her business evolve as she has been forced to focus on her own health due to being diagnosed, treated, and in remission of breast cancer. I loved her energy before she was diagnosed and her fortitude and “go with the flow” attitude has done nothing but grow since then. There is no better way to put it than to say she is “amazeballs” a term she uses frequently on her own blog. For her story, her amazing energy, and to find out more about her life coaching business check her out here.

Another blog I stumbled upon in the last year or so is a blog all about designing a life with intention. Jess Lively is a designer and small business consultant that is helping people build their business with intention, something she has done since she started her jewelry line at age 15. I am inspired by her ability to live her life in a way that is very intentional and methodical. Doing what works for her and her husband even if it goes against the proverbial grain. I can relate to her in so many ways, and I am encouraged to continue on my path, even when it doesn’t go along with the majority, and build my life based around the intentions I have set for myself and my family. Our lives are our own, and no one says that you should live it like everyone else. Jess Lively is a perfect example of living life with intention and I am constantly inspired to continue to create and hone my own life intentions the more I read about her journey. I hope you find her equally as inspiring.

The last inspirational person/site I want to share with you is Lilou Mace and her Juicy Living Tour project. I happened to find one of Lilou’s many youtube videos when I was doing some research on the Law of Attraction. I was immediately drawn to her energetic personality and zest for life and became instantly inspired to create that same sense of adventure in my own life. Lilou Mace is an amazing visionary. She shares videos of interviews she conducts all over the world with people who are all working to co-create a world that is more peaceful and loving and shares their stories of how they are changing the world one day at a time. Her spiritual essence is contagious and my motivation is renewed each time I watch one of her videos. Moving from losing a job to finally achieving her dreams, she reminds me of the importance of faith. Having the faith to believe my dreams will become reality even if I can’t see the exact path right now, and as my journey unfolds, she reminds me to live in each moment fully (a lesson I am continually learning every day). I invite you to check out her Juicy Living Tour project and see how your own motivation and inspiration is affected.

I hope you find some inspiration in the links I have shared above, and even if they aren’t exactly in line with your own interests, I hope they show you that anything is possible, no matter what your dreams may be.

What are some links, blogs, or books that inspire you and keep you moving forward?

***Please note all information listed above are my own opinions and I have not been provided any compensation for sharing the links, businesses, or people listed in this post.***