Lamisha Serf-Walls

Re-Framing the Green-Eyed Monster

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envy

When we are growing into our dreams and taking action in the world to create the life of our dreams, there are times (sometimes many) when we come up against the dreaded green-eyed monster.  We see all these amazing people doing what we want to do and doing it WELL.

Some of us get discouraged and begin to feel ‘less-than’ that other person that is doing it better, faster, and more beautifully than us.  Others feel like giving up because they convince themselves that they won’t ever measure up.

Well I have a re-frame that will turn that green-eyed monster into a joyous, happy, and celebratory friend.

Check out the video below to find out how you can use this re-frame the next time you feel a bit of envy, jealousy, or ‘less-than’ someone else.

 

P.S. If you are interested in some FREE coaching hop on over to my Facebook Coaching Power Hour that I am hosting TONIGHT from 8pm-9pm EST.  I will have a special thread open for your questions and will be offering my insight and coaching for an hour.  Got a burning question about creating the life &/or biz of your dreams? Ask away!  All you have to do is be a fan of my FB page and come with your questions. 🙂 Talk to you tonight!

Your Heart-Centered-Passionate-Path Needs This To Thrive…

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photo credit: Alexandria LaNier via photopin cc
photo credit: Alexandria LaNier via photopin cc

In the last year or so I have had the honor of meeting some truly amazing women with incredible talent yet I see far too many struggling to make their dreams a reality.

With such awesome gifts and healing work that can change the world forever, they are struggling to create thriving businesses.

How can that be?

I have experienced first hand some of these awesome gifts and am blown away at what EFT Tapping, Chakra Healing, Muscle Testing, Reiki, Yoga, and many other healing modalities can do to shift our energy and vibration so we can live happier and healthier lives.  It’s like magic…literally.

So, why the struggle?

The magical abilities and ideas that these women have can literally heal the world.  They can get rid of diseases, help others manifest amazing abundance, and heal a ton of emotional junk that we all experience (and need to heal) and yet actually taking those ideas and putting them into action often feels restrictive and against their very nature.

As a fellow airy-fairy, woo-woo-centric, hippy-dippy, out of the box-thinker, I know how incredible it is to have a dream that is so vivid and colorful that you could stay in your head forever, but I am also blessed with an uncanny ability to put those dreams into action.  Inspired action that is.

The magic happens when we can effectively bring our glorious ideas down from the heavens and implement them in inspired-actionable-steps.  And if you are like many of my clients, I know what you are thinking. “Ugh, actionable steps sounds pretty in the box to me.” or “I just like to go with the flow and see where the tide takes me.”

I get it.  The idea of structure and schedules and dare I say accountability can make us enlightened folks cringe because it goes against all the free-flowing, belief-bustin’, let-me-do-it-my-own-way, nature, but I can promise you two things:

Without action & accountability, your dreams may stay fully alive in your imagination, but that is as far as they go.

AND

You CAN have structure and freedom while creating a thriving life & biz of your dreams.

The key is in following inspired action and creating structure that works for you.

There really isn’t a one size fits all plan on how to make your work come alive and if you have been fighting the good fight against a ‘schedule’ or ‘to do list’ because you want to keep your freedom status, then I invite you to look at freedom a bit differently.

Freedom implies you have a choice or an option to do as you please and when you can create a schedule or structure that works for YOU, you still have the freedom you crave.  And when your business is thriving and soaring to new heights, you are capable of hiring out a ton of work that you don’t enjoy doing, but the choice is still yours.

So get out there and don’t be afraid of creating a bit of free-flowing-structure (that’s totally a thing) and begin following your heart to take inspired action.

The world needs your gifts & it’s up to you to share them.

What’s the #1 thing you have been resisting in your heart-centered biz because it feels too restrictive? Leave it in the comments below and share this post with your friends who could use a nudge to send their gifts out to the world!

If you need a bit of extra help in the structure & accountability department, this is for you.  I have opened up a few spots for my 1-Month Jump Start program for July 2014 that will get you moving in 30 days or less. 4 sessions in 4 weeks = major progress.  This offer expires June 30th so if you want in on this incredibly affordable and powerful opportunity, you can sign up here.

 

Less Than Motivated…

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It happens to us all right?  You have those days where you know you “should” be getting busy and marking things off your to-do list, but you have zero motivation.  The inspiration to act just isn’t there and to be honest you would just as much like to take a nap and try again later…or not.

I am having one of those days today.  My list of things to be done is ever-growing and even after a mid-day nap I can’t fight this “meh” feeling I am having.

What is a coach to do???

Well first thing to do is admit that we are human and we have those days.  Days when things seem a little less go-go-go and a lot more..zzzzzz.

And while I may not be able to put my finger on exactly what is going on, I’m not sure it matters.  What matters is accepting that it happens to us all and it will pass.

So what do you do in the meantime?  You can’t just sleep all day and not tend to your responsibilities right?

I guess that would depend on what your responsibilities are.  I know I have a lot of things I have set a loose deadline for in my business building and freelance writing.  I have very few things that absolutely have to be done today, so while there is a part of me that knows I really should do X, Y, Z…I’m taking the easy way out and meandering my way back to motivation.

I find that if I am less than motivated to act on something, forcing myself to do it makes it so much worse.  Not only is the end result lackluster and boring, but it feels miserable to do.  So, if I can avoid it, I don’t do it.  Luckily enough this feeling only comes during days when I have my day job that is already pretty lackluster and clearly not my passion.

So, I do what I can to pass the time in hopes that this “meh” feeling passes quickly.  The good news is that typically it will move along and I am back to my bubbly, go-getter, inspired self in no time.  I’m just not there yet.

So why am I sharing my less than motivated moment with you?

Because I want you to know that even professionals feel the same way you do.  We are not super-human, always happy, always successful, never-failing people.  Nope, we are just regular passionate, inspired, and mostly motivated individuals that like you, have one of those days.

And this is mine.

The next time you are feeling less than motivated, don’t fight the feeling.  Just go with it and ask yourself honestly, “What do I feel like doing right this moment?”  Should you get an answer, go with it and see if your mood turns around.

Writing this post was the first thing that came to mind for me.

Re-frame, Re-focus, and Move On

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I often find it difficult to write when I am having a particularly challenging day and yesterday was that kind of day.  The financial mishap I thought I had taken care of not once, but twice had reared its ugly head again and I had a difficult time with it.  In the midst of trying to clear it up and ensure it wasn’t going to happen again, I kept wondering how in the world I had created such a mess.  Sure everyone makes mistakes, but why wouldn’t this particularly large mistake just go away??

Where had I gone wrong?  I just couldn’t figure it out.  Each day I meditate, write my gratitude list, read inspiring blogs and other blogs, and try to keep a generally positive attitude.  How could this happen to me???

When I was finally able to step out of my drama-filled cloud of confusion, I realized some stuff just happens.  And while I may have done all of those generally positive things, I am not perfect.  I have a tendency to complain with the best of them about seemingly small details and while those complaints may not be directly related to this financial mishap, it certainly doesn’t help.

Instead of continue to ask questions about why this happened or wonder where I had gone wrong, I took a step back and decided to re-frame, re-focus, and just move on. 

Re-frame– Sometimes things happen and while we (read I) want to figure out the cause behind the mishaps in everyday life, sometimes it’s just a mystery.  The key is not to dwell on the insignificant things and to re-frame the negative into a positive.  In my case, things could have been much worse.  It could have been a situation that couldn’t be fixed and I would have been stuck with trying to find several thousand dollars to make it right.  Lucky for me this situation is something that can be remedied despite the extra fees that I am incurring for a seemingly innocent mistake on my part.  So, it could always be worse.

Re-focus- After a challenging situation it is important to take some time to turn your attention back to what is important.  In this case it means re-focusing on my coaching business, writing, and other projects I have in the works.  Turning my attention away from the situation moves my energy in a more positive direction and creates a flow toward my goals instead of harping on the past.

Move On- Once you have re-focused your energy, it is time to move onward and upward leaving the challenging situation or frustration behind.  Simply put, just let it go.

This three-step process can apply to everyday life as well as disappointments and challenges that happen while working toward the life of your dreams.  Things happen and the speed bumps, detours, and disappointments we encounter can lead us to more clarity, desire, and drive for the things we want, so don’t allow them to destroy your momentum.  Simply re-frame, re-focus, and move on.

Do The (Midnight) Hustle

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Over the last few years I have come in contact with a handful of innovators looking to start (or recently started) their own businesses in various ways.  Some people were following their creative hearts, while others were simply looking for a way to be their own boss and spend more time with their families, but regardless of what these people were doing, one thing was common amongst them, the midnight hustle.

If you don’t know what that is let me explain.  The midnight hustle is the way many new business owners, creators, and innovators make their business dreams a reality.  Let’s face it, not many of us have the riches to simply quit our day jobs to follow our dreams without cultivating and growing our business on the side and by “on the side”, it likely means during the midnight hours when other people are sleeping, hence the name midnight hustle.  And with that midnight hustling often comes late nights, less sleep, hard work, and hopefully amazing inspiration to keep you moving toward your dreams so you can one day quit your day job and enjoy the fruits of your labor doing something that you truly enjoy.  And while I am far from quitting my day job, I am experiencing a bit of my own hustle as I reach beyond my comfort zone into new opportunities and new territory.  It’s exciting and terrifying all at the same time.

I have talked a little bit about my dream of starting my own life coaching business, but the truth is my dream isn’t to start the business per se, it is really to help people through my business.  I thought the path would be fairly straight forward, but I am finding that I may be taking a bit more of the scenic route as opposed to the straight shot as I go with the flow of life.  The programs I have found in the last year haven’t really touched me in the way that makes me think, “Yes this is the ONE!”, so I have been researching various programs in hopes to find the one that best fits my purpose and calling.  I think I have finally found it.  (YAY!) But, with it comes a pretty hefty price tag, one that is about double the price of the last program I was going to settle on.  So, it looks like the actual training may be put off longer than expected, but as you well know I am not one to sit around and do nothing and being the jack of many trades that I am, I am following an equally creative and exciting interest, writing.

The truth is I have always enjoyed writing but I have just recently begun to make some money from it and it is becoming a bit of a midnight hustle for me.  While I only have one regular gig right now, I am learning that the key to having one or many midnight hustles is balance and knowing your limit, both things I am working on right now.  I am very aware of the amount of time I have in my days (and nights) to complete writing projects and am working on a bit of a writing schedule that will allow me to continue to share my journey here on my blog (because I love it so much), and to still complete writing projects in a timely manner.  My hope is that my current midnight hustle will help support the training I need for life coaching and things will seamlessly flow with one another leading to (one day) quitting my day job to do something I love.  But, until that day comes I am going to consciously balance my time to include self-care, meditation, and family because life shouldn’t be all about work, it should be fun too.

Do you have a midnight hustle? If so what is it?