being Archives - Lamisha Serf-Walls

What To Do With In-Between Time

October 28, 2013 by Lamisha

When you set out on your journey to create the life of your dreams, it isn’t abnormal to feel a slow withdraw from the reality you have been living. Everyday responsibilities and commitments may not feel the same as they once did and though you are working on your dream in your spare time, it can seem like it just isn’t enough. It can get to a point where you feel like you are in limbo, teetering between two worlds, yet not fully engaged in either.

I get it, in fact I more than just “get” it. I’m living it, this very moment.

If you are like me, you might be used to fully engaging in whatever activity you have set forth to accomplish and it can feel unnatural to withdraw your energy. If you aren’t quite sure how the future is going to unfold (and let’s be honest we don’t always know what lies ahead), it can make this in-between time feel even more unstable and often scary. Not being fully aware of what is next on your path can easily create doubt, worry, and a loss of faith in your dreams.

So, what do you do? If you aren’t here or there and are struggling to find your footing between worlds, what can you possibly do???

The answer is very simple and is one I have heard over and over again (and I am sure you have too.)

Be here now.

As humans we are very good at reflecting on the past and planning for the future, but most of us generally stink at being IN the moment. We are so busy planning our next moment and reflecting on past mistakes and misgivings, that our entire lives are focused on planning on what is to come while not making the same mistakes and we miss this moment.

I am no Eckhart Tolle or Ram Dass, but I know that being in the moment is an incredible lesson to be learned and is one of my own personal quests in this life. In fact, it is one I think I am just beginning to get a handle on.

If you are like me you are probably thinking “Yeah, I get it, focus on the present, but what can I DO to do that??”

The specific steps may be a little different for everyone, but I have outlined a few of the things that work for me. Try them out and see if they help you too.

Meditate- Meditation is the act of being present. For constant planners and doers, this can be challenging at first, but with consistent practice it gets much easier. This practice is by far one of the best ways for me to focus on the moment and has a very powerful effect on my mindfulness throughout the rest of the day.
Stop Multi-tasking– Say what?? Multi-tasking is a way of life for many, but while we are trying to 10 things at once, we are robbing ourselves (and our work, family, health etc.) of operating on all cylinders. Splitting your energy and focus can result in mistakes, frustration, anxiety, and worry. So the next time you find yourself doing one thing, thinking about another, and planning your next steps, stop and take a deep breath. Move into the next moment with a singular focus and take it one thing at a time.
Practice Gratitude-This has been another paramount practice for me during my time of transition. Instead of focusing on the things that haven’t yet happened or worrying about what the future may bring, take a step back. Look around you and become aware of the beautiful blessings that surround you daily. On your drive to work how many times have you been aware of the flaming sunrise before you? What about the crisp fall air that reminds you, you are alive? There are always amazing things going on around you and if you can settle into the present and become mindful of them, the future will not only be incredible, but you will be able to enjoy the beauty when you encounter it.
Trust- While worry can creep in during moments of overwhelm, it is important to trust the process and unfolding. Things are working out for you just as they did when you began your dream journey. The pieces fall into your path at exactly the right moment and while you are moving toward your ultimate dream, remember to trust in the process. You might find it helpful to create a mantra or two that remind you that all is well and everything is working out.

While the above practices appear to be much less doing and more being, it is important to continue to follow your inspiration along the way. What is interesting is that the more you become aware of the present moment, the more you are able to recognize those inspirational nuggets. You might enjoy a nice conversation with a stranger in line at the coffee shop or become aware of the beautiful surroundings when you hear about an incredible connection that will help you on your journey.

Life is full of those little miracles that will lead you down your beautiful path of your dreams. You just have to be mindful of them.

My wish for you today is to enjoy the start of your week by slowing down, becoming mindful, and being fully present in the moment.

Lessons Learned In: The Faces Of Opportunity and Being Open

September 13, 2013 by Lamisha

I am coming out of my cranky fog and realizing I learned some pretty hefty lessons this week. While it wasn’t the most progress-oriented week I have ever had, it is certainly one heavy in life lessons.

Lesson: Opportunities come with many faces, the key is accepting them even when they are in disguise.

After learning that my current full-time gig would be coming to an end at the end of this year, I recently heard that many other employees were given their pink slip with only 2 weeks to spare. This shocking news puts a lot of people in some seemingly tough situations as they plan for what is to come. Some are worrying about how they will pay the bills and take care of their families (understandably so), but I can’t help but see this as an opportunity to move into something better. In fact, one of my coworkers is thinking of following a passion she has had for many years, to which I responded “YES, Do that!!” As the saying goes, when one door closes another one opens and I believe that 100%. It seems we are moving into a time when doing what we are “supposed” to do is not only uninspiring and boring, but it isn’t what we are meant to do.

Opportunities are popping up in some fun, exciting, sometimes shocking ways to get your attention, so listen up! See the opportunity and be grateful that you have an opportunity to do something different. And should you find yourself in a similar lay-off position, by golly take it as a blessing and a sign to move onward and upward. The unknown can be scary, but it is also exciting to know that something better is coming only you get to decide what that is! So watch as the faces of opportunities appear around you and respond accordingly by following your inspiration. And don’t forget what I wrote yesterday…don’t borrow trouble!

Lesson: Be open to negative emotions and feelings and they will easily float on by. Fight them and they hang on for dear life.

This lesson came full force yesterday in the midst of my gray cloud of confusion. I had this icky feeling I couldn’t pinpoint and I wanted nothing more than to move on from the down feeling it was leaving me with. Only when I stopped fighting it and stopped trying to rationalize it was I able to be open to it fully. I didn’t try to change it or soothe it, I simply allowed it to be and an amazing thing happened. It quickly began to loosen its grip on my mood and as the sun set, I was feeling better.

The next time you feel an icky, less than ideal feeling and you can’t quite figure it out, try being open to it instead of fighting it. The more you fight, the more power you give to the mood/negativity that you are trying to avoid and by allowing it to flow through you, you create a path for it to float peacefully away.

What lessons have you learned this week?

I hope you have a lovely weekend and as always thank you for reading!

Giving Dreams Room To Breathe & Grow

August 22, 2013 by Lamisha

I have seen my fair share of people working hard to have a happy life. There seems to be a universal campaign for accomplishing goals through back-breaking work, blood, sweat, and tears. Many of us have grown up with the idea that if we could just do more by working longer or harder than we would finally reach the platform of success. And while I certainly believe in the benefit of (inspired) action, I feel like something is missing in this formula for a successful life.

People that know me, know that I have always been a doer in life. I have always focused on doing the next thing and looking for the next step in my dreams and only recently have I been able to understand the importance of non-action, and allowing the space for our dreams to breathe and grow.

Not sure what I mean? Let me explain.

When we decide we are going to move forward with a new goal, career, or project typically there is some sort of planning phase. After the planning phase comes the execution. And since we are so accustomed to instant gratification in our everyday living, we seem to be chomping at the bit to make things happen by working long hours and in some cases spreading ourselves too thin. The fear of failing has caused us to overcompensate in the action arena to a point that we never allow ourselves (and our dreams) a chance to breathe.

I know I have struggled with this many times in my life where I want instant results for the work I am putting in, but the reality is things take time.

I have also learned that when I am able to take a step back and stop measuring my progress (or lack thereof in some cases), I find things almost magically happen. The right people flow into my life effortlessly and the next inspirational nugget appears before my very eyes and each time it happens I am reminded of the importance of allowing my dreams to breathe and grow.

I was reminded of that just a few weeks ago.

While I was having a conversation with a friend about some things I needed/wanted to take care of for my business, I mentioned needing to find someone to design my logo. I had actually thought about it several times, but wasn’t trying to make anything happen with it as I had other things that I was working on. About an hour after that conversation I saw a post on FB from a friend of mine that said “Designing a logo!”. I almost fell out of my chair. I couldn’t believe it! I immediately sent my friend a message and inquired about her services and found that not only was it affordable, but she does absolutely amazing work!

Was it just dumb luck? Or, did I allow enough space and time for things to unfold in the most organic and perfect way for me?

I truly believe that by giving my dreams/needs the space they need to grow and evolve, the resources I need will continue to unfold in the most beautiful of ways.

Not sure it will work for you? Try it out!

The next time you find yourself forcing something to happen or working long hours trying desperately to make something happen, take a break. Step back from it and leave it be for a while and open yourself to what you see and hear around you. Just be easy about it and allow your next inspirational nugget present itself to you. I promise you it will.

Have you had something like this happen for you recently? I would love to hear how your dreams are unfolding as you give them room to breathe and grow. Share your thoughts in the comments below!

One of Those Moments

October 28, 2012 by Lamisha

I had one of those moments today,where my entire attention was drawn to a beautiful part of nature that many often miss or overlook. I was in the kitchen and caught a glimpse of the sky outside the back door. It was the most beautiful sky I had ever seen and while I wanted to capture it to look back at later, I knew no picture could encompass the beauty that I was looking at in that moment.

Instead of running for my camera, I walked outside to absorb as much of the beauty as I could. I stared at the sky in awe and in deep gratitude for such an amazing show of colors. Bright pinks, oranges, and lilacs graced the sky and I felt time stop. In that moment I was in a trance, experiencing the moment for all that it was. Not moving, not thinking, not worrying…simply being.

As the sun continued to descend and the colors began to fade, I realized I am becoming much more aware of these moments with each passing day. Moments that stop me in my tracks and allow me to take a reprieve from my thoughts and just be. In these moments I am fully awakened to what is before me, allowing all thought and worry to disappear if just for that moment. And when that moment comes to an end, I am filled with a deep sense gratitude for the experience.

I am noticing these moments much more than I did before, and it gives me hope that I will soon be able to just be in every moment no matter what the moment brings and that brings joy to my soul.