Lamisha Serf-Walls

Lessons Learned In: Unplugging & Balance

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Well friends, the weekend is coming to an end and as I end this (partial) unplugged weekend, I learned some very valuable lessons that I want to share with you.

Lesson: Unplugging from technology may be difficult, but it is well worth the time and effort for the amount of peace and serenity it provides.

I have to say that when I set the intention to spend the weekend “unplugged” I hadn’t put much thought behind it.  I knew I needed some time away from the constant feed of emails, constant Facebook feeds, and the endless supply of information simply because I spend so much time through the week connected for my day job, my business, and my side gigs, I often am left feeling depleted and frazzled.  I thought it would be easy to leave the phone behind and not scramble to check my emails every time I had a new notification.  I was wrong.  It was much more difficult than I thought.  Though on Friday, just after making my declaration in my last post, I took a book outside and sat in the mild South Carolina weather and read for about 20 minutes and I couldn’t help but feel free.  I felt the tension ease in my shoulders and a growing sense of peace fall over me as I collapsed into the nothingness that became my Friday evening.

As the weekend wore on, I had an on/off relationship with peace.  While the frazzled feeling never returned, I checked my email a few times as well as my Facebook page, though not nearly as often as I would have.  I was making progress.  Today, was by far the best since I was able to disconnect almost completely and only picked up the computer now to write this post.  What I found about this semi-unplugged time was that it is far more a habit than I realized and it is something I could stand to give up every once in a while.  In fact, I intend to be more mindful of my email/Facebook checking even throughout the week as it can end up being a drain of not only my energy, but also my time.

Another thing I realized about this time is that I was far less focused on measurements of various things such as website statistics and Facebook likes.  Things that when you think about it are nothing but numbers.  It can be far too easy to fall into the trap of thinking that certain numbers (or lack there of) mean one’s success or failure.  Taking time away from those measurements has definitely allowed me to relax about business related things as well.  All-in-all, this intention taught me that it is not only healthy, but necessary to take time away from things every once in a while to allow you to reconnect with nature, family, and friends.  It’s nice to let go of our online lives for a bit so we don’t miss what life is all about.

Lesson:  Work/life balance is even more important when you own your own business.

Since I have been juggling many responsibilities for the past few months, I have begun to feel a drain on my energy and my capacity to focus on certain things.  Not only have I placed more focus on my business and put more effort into ways to market myself and get new clients, but I have also increased my freelance writing work as well.  In the process of all this work I began to lose my sense of ease and flow.  I was so focused on doing the next thing and figuring out how to move forward that I forgot to just relax, breathe, and flow with life.  Sounds kinda airy-fairy, I know but I realized even in the early stages of my business how crucial it is for me to maintain a good work/life balance.

So, as I embraced the idea of being “unplugged” this weekend, I was eager to get out and do something just for fun with no thought to what I “should” be doing.  In fact, I didn’t do any work all weekend long which is a first for me at least recently.  I am teaching myself to get into the practice of not only taking time away from technology every now and then, but also to do things for fun.  Life is meant to be enjoyed right?

How was your weekend?  Did you unplug and enjoy time with friends and family?

Gratitude: Beginning and Ending With Peace

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This week has been a week of lessons.  Lessons about work, personal life, and finding balance with it all.  Along with those lessons came a much-needed epiphany of which I am grateful.  That epiphany is the importance of beginning and ending with peace.

This week was a little crazy in terms of my schedule and getting everything accomplished, but I began my week with a pause.  Knowing all I had to accomplish and ready to take it all on.  I took a deep breath and dove in and while the middle of the week got a little hairy, I am back to the place I started.  Peaceful.

It seems beginning each day with peace in my meditation practice sets the tone for the rest of the day and if things tend to get a little crazy, I can find my center again at the end of the day with more meditation, yoga, or some quiet time.  Beginning and ending with peace is essential for me to be the best me.  I am so grateful for that realization.

I believe I can apply the same concept to beginning and ending my week.  I can begin each week with an intention for how the week will go in terms of my schedule, work, and appointments.  As things come up (and I am sure they will) I can handle them accordingly.  In the event things get a bit busy or overwhelming, I can find my center and balance by ending the week with some mindful reflection, similar to what I do with my gratitude posts each week.

There is something about the idea of beginning and ending with peace that I think will ultimately bring more peace to the time in between.  As I am mindful of the beginning of each day and at the end of each day, I believe the peace will become a habit and as a result, I will feel much more centered and balanced.

I hope you too begin and end your weekend with peace.  Have a great weekend!

Where’s The Balance???

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Spring is upon us and as the weather changes and the trees and flowers bloom with color our lives tend to get busier too.  There are more activities to enjoy on the weekends, more events, and for some more work.  As a self-proclaimed busy bee, I have always enjoyed the buzzy feeling of a full schedule and yet on the flip side if I have too much busy in my life, I get overwhelmed.  From the outside it can often look like I just am never satisfied, and maybe that is true.  Or maybe I just haven’t found the right balance of it all.

I started this week knowing it was going to be a busy one with appointments galore in addition to work responsibilities.  I was of course correct in that assumption, however I often wonder if my thought of “oh boy it’s gonna be one of those weeks…” actually created my reality.  (I tend to think it did at least in my perception of it all.)  And while I know I can change my thoughts and in turn change my experience of a busy schedule, I still think I could use a bit more balance in life as a whole.

It seems when we have a lot going on something always takes the back seat.  One week I am really focused on my writing work, while other weeks I hardly touch it.  Some weekends I just want to lounge around the house and re-group, yet if I do many things that should get done, don’t.

Where is the balance???

I have tried making lists, setting schedules, and flying by the seat of my pants and yet at times I still feel overwhelmed.  And as I think about starting a business and expanding my freelance work, I am left wondering if I will ever be able to do it all???

And just before I allow myself to fall into the hole of self-pity, I remember this.  Balance isn’t something you all of a sudden have.  It’s not something you can purchase or wish for and it will appear.  It is something you learn…over time. 

I often want to say “Bah-humbug!”, because when I want something, I want it to happen right this second and yet I know that isn’t how it works.  Just like anything else I am going to have to muddle my way through this to figure out what works and what doesn’t.  It may require me to say “no” to a few things or to incorporate more free time into my schedule, but one thing is for sure it will not happen by my complaint that “there just isn’t enough time in the day”.

Instead of focusing on my perceived lack of time to do it all, I am changing my focus.  I have even begun saying a little mantra that helps calm me when my feathers get ruffled and I feel overwhelmed.  Sometimes taking a deep breath and thinking to myself “It will all get done at the right time.” puts my mind at ease.  When I stop fighting with time and simply accept it for what it is, I find I have much more time to get things done and the things that don’t get done can be saved for another day.

I am a do-er and I want to do it all.  I often want to throw on my cape and go, go, go until I can’t go anymore, but I know that isn’t what life is all about and it’s not the way we are meant to live.  So, instead of being anxious about my schedule or my dreams that I have yet to attain, I will take a deep breath, repeat my mantra and learn as I grow.  And just as I have learned to be more patient over the years, I too will learn to create more balance in my life and schedule.

I set the intention and so it shall be.

 

Setting The Date For Action

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I have written a lot on my blog about flowing with the current of life and being in the moment because these are two things I personally need to practice daily.  And while I believe them to be key components to living a happy and fulfilling life, I also know a good dose of action is important as well.  The key is balance.  So as a piggy back to my post about revisiting resolutions, I am setting a bit of a plan for one of my resolutions.

I decided in 2012 that I really wanted to take my writing to a new level and accomplish my dream of writing a book.  I came up with a non-fiction book idea for adults, but have since decided to get my feet wet first with writing a series of children’s books.  In January I made some progress by inquiring about prices for editing and incidentally made a contact for a possible illustrator for the books that have yet to be written.  In the excitement of finding not only an editor, but also a potential illustrator, I decided I wanted a book deal by the end of 2013.  (Insert face of surprise and butterflies).

The idea that I would be a real life, published children’s author is far beyond my wildest dreams and somewhere in my mind, I wondered if it were possible.  Can I do this?  Can I really write a book that will be successful etc?  Those questions and so many more have led me to put it off and find many excuses for why I haven’t begun.  The ideas are floating around in my head, but nothing has made it to paper…yet.

I have since decided it is time for me to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and let my ideas come to life.  The book isn’t going to write itself and we are already 3 months into the year, so if I want a book deal for not just one book, but for the entire series, I better get moving.  So, here I am setting the date for when I will begin working on my first book of the series (March 20th if not before).  The loose plan is to have the book written and ready for the editor in a month and off to the illustrator shortly after that.

I realize I am diving into uncharted waters now and there is a certain amount of fear that is natural, but the bigger part of me is excited for what I am doing.  I dreamed this dream for a reason and am so excited to get the ball rolling.  December will be here before you know it and I can’t wait to share with you the good news of my book contract, because I know without a shadow of a doubt it will happen.  🙂

So tell me, have you set a date to begin any of your goals/dreams for this year?  What are you waiting for?  Don’t let fear stop you from moving forward even if it is just a teeny, tiny step.

To Do or Not Do…That Is The Question

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Most goal setting techniques involve setting a list of steps and then acting on those steps one at a time.  It makes sense in some cases to do things that way, but that isn’t always the best method I am realizing.  Sometimes it is important to take some time away from “doing” and to allow your previous actions to take shape and to allow the Universe to work some magic.

I recently finished Marlise Karlin’s book The Power of Peace in You and in it she describes igniting the power of stillness and peace within and living from that space to discover a life better than you imagined.  You can read my full review here, but one quote I found that really hit me is one that discusses doing vs not doing as a way to accomplish your dreams.

“Often, the best thing to do is…nothing at all, allowing space for inspiration by leaving a void.  It is here, in this essential non-doing, where you release attachment to the outcome-that the miraculous emerges to show you a different pathway for getting where you want to go.  You can’t tap into the Energy field of inspired solutions or discover the unforeseen if you are always racing to get it done at all costs.” Marlise Karlin in The Power of Peace in You

This quote has proven to provide a profound shift in my thinking regarding attaining my goals and dreams.  I have since moved (albeit slowly) from a place of doing to a place of non-doing in some situations and while it has been somewhat uncomfortable there, I am learning that there is certainly some value in it.  The key for me is knowing when to do and not do.

I suppose like anything in life, this is a matter of balance.  Just like a farmer can’t continuously plant seeds in the same space over and over again and expect his crop to grow overnight, I must learn to be content with letting my own dream crop grow.  Sometimes that means allowing my ideas, creations, and thoughts to ferment before I do anything with them.   For instance, when I started this blog, I went through a long period of thinking, pondering, creating, and allowing the right name, niche, idea to come to me.  And when it finally did, there was no question as to whether I should act or not act.  Maybe that is the key.

Plant your seeds of imagination and plant as many as you come up with, but be patient as you allow them to take shape or die out because the ones that are meant to be will be.  When you provide the space of non-doing, you allow miracles to happen because let’s face it, if you are always trying to do, do, do, the Universe has no time to work on your behalf.  But, if you are like me, you might wonder what you are supposed to do in the time you are not working on your goals.  My answer (one I often need to remember myself)? Have fun.

When you are not actively working on your goals and you are providing a space for them to breathe and grow, do something fun.  Catch up on a hobby you have missed.  Read a good book, get outside in nature, have coffee with a friend.  Life is meant to be enjoyed and if you are working on your goals all the time, no matter how happy they make you, you are likely to burn out.

So what are you doing or not doing right now in regards to your dreams and life goals?