Lamisha Serf-Walls

Blissful Breakthroughs & My Truth

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The other day I had a personal breakthrough and ‘aha’ moment that resulted in me writing the post below on Facebook with a promise to write a full post on what it really means today.

“I know now more than any other time in my life it is imperative for you to live the most authentic life possible. BE you, EMBRACE who you are, LOVE yourself for ALL that you are, and above all else, be true to you. Don’t be afraid of what others might think or feel or believe about you. It’s not their life, it’s yours. Live it, love it, and encourage others to do the same!”

Part of the work I do involves not only getting to know many clients on a very personal level, but it also forces me to take stock in who I truly am.  It allows me to learn, grow, and evolve with each interaction and the most recent evolution has led me to share with you a bit more about who I am.

When I began my business, I thought I had to be ‘business-like’.  I compared myself to others and attempted to some degree to emulate their practices and systems.  I wanted to be successful and since I was new to the business/coaching game, I opened myself up to learn as much as I could.  Even while I was telling my clients to create their own paths and forge ahead fearlessly without having the path laid before them, I was looking in the wrong places for mine.  I was walking in circles avoiding the one true path that was my own, the path I am sharing with you now for fear it would scare people away.  I thought that by sharing my true essence I would scare away potential clients, business partners, and friends that have known me for years.

So what is all this about?  What is the my true essence and who is Lamisha Serf?

photo credit: AlicePopkorn via photopin cc
photo credit: AlicePopkorn via photopin cc

I am a freedom seeker, lover of life, and a sharer of light and love.  I believe we are all meant to have a blissful experience while we are alive and part of that means finding our true calling, purpose, and passion.  Life is about growing, evolving, and stepping into our true power, not just physically but spiritually too and before I lose some of you, I am not necessarily talking religiously.

If you were to categorize me you might categorize me as a hippy, hippy-dippy, or a bit woo-woo and as a dear friend so eloquently put it the other day, “Call it woo-woo if you simply like to call spiritual things woo-woo. But if you call it woo-woo because you think it’s weird, I suggest finding a new term. That’s mis-using woo-woo!”-Torrie Pattillo of Holistic Voyage

I use woo-woo as a positive thing meaning all things spiritual.  I meditate, use crystals, read books about metaphysics, psychics, and so much more.  I pray to the Divine, use affirmations, study the Law of Attraction, set my intentions, and practice gratitude.  I have friends and clients who are holistic coaches, intuitive healers, Reiki practitioners, and Angel readers and I love it all!  I am fascinated by the Akashic Records, by who I might have been in my past life, and how the body handles energy of all sorts.  I read about chakras, have mine balanced, believe in magic, miracles, astrology, and the beautiful cycles of the moon.  I am fully aware of what happens during Mercury Retrograde and take special notice of my thoughts when I notice the numbers 11:11 on the clock.

I read all the time.  Books on self-development, connecting with my intuition, communicating with loved ones on the other side, and any of the other many New Age subjects can be found on my bookshelf at any given moment.

I love learning, connecting, and helping people break through the blocks that keep them playing small because for far too long, I have done the same.  I have allowed my fears of what others might think, my anxiety of who I might lose, and my stress of what lies on the other side of this Truth to hold me back for too long and now I am stepping forward.  Proudly.

So what does all of this mean?

It means that there are some things that are going to change around here…with love.  I am going to be my true, authentic self and stop hiding the hippy-dippy, woo-woo, tree-huggin’ hippy that I am.  You might be reading things with a spiritual twist and if it resonates with you, awesome, if not, no worries.

It also means my work, coaching, and pricing structures are going to change a bit.  You see coaching is not just about helping you get from point A to point B…in fact most coaching isn’t about that at all.  Many coaches work on a very intimate level helping clients delve into the dark areas they would rather keep hidden from others (and themselves).

It is in these places that healing, reflection, and growth are needed the most and while I have done a bit of that work in my last year of coaching, I have found it to be my sweet spot.  I get the most fulfillment out of coaching by creating loving accountability for my clients who are ready and willing to dive into the emotional centers of their souls that house the blockages that keep them from moving forward. I get excited when I can celebrate blissful breakthroughs with women as they open up to their true and authentic selves that shed amazing, illuminating light on their path forward.  Through the blockages and breakthroughs I act as a guide and provide the safe space for women to share their deepest dreams and desires while unlocking their fullest potential that many didn’t even know they had.

lightSo, to the fellow freedom-seekers and soul-centered women who are ready to share their gifts with the world, I am here to help you make blissful breakthroughs so you can begin living the life you were meant to live…the life of your dreams.  To the yogis, healers, artists, creatives, business owners, and light-workers of the world, your gifts are meant to change the world and I am ready to help you move through the blockages that have you stuck and keep you playing small.

It’s time for you to step into your power and allow your amazing light to shine.  Are you ready?  Contact me to schedule your 30-Minute Consultation today.

Authenticity and Intuition

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Everyone who sets out on a new path into a future that is unknown experiences bouts of fear, insecurity, excitement, and a variety of other feelings that come with the territory.  It’s normal.  It’s expected and it’s sometimes necessary to learn extremely important lessons.  Do you know how I know this?  Because I have had to learn some pretty big lessons in authenticity and intuition.

You see, when you start something new you might look around to others for their help and expertise in various decisions and choices you are making.  Being a newbie in whatever field you are in, it is often suggested to have a mentor to provide guidance and insight into what you are doing.  It’s also great to have a second eye on new projects or things that you are working on in order to help you grow your skill set.  It doesn’t matter what your dream might be, but if it’s new, there will likely be some growing pains along the way.

But, what happens when you begin outsourcing decisions and opinions to a degree that you lose faith in your own ability to choose what is right and wrong for you?  What happens when you lose the little bit of confidence you had to begin with?

What happens is you lose the connection with your intuition and your authentic self, which can be detrimental to dream and your wavering confidence.

But wait a minute Lamisha, didn’t you say that it’s okay to ask for help and assistance when we are reaching for our dreams and that we don’t have to do it alone???

Yes I did say that and I still stand by that statement, BUT it is also important to stay true to who you are and to stay connected to your intuition.  Advice, insight, and assistance are all fine and good, but when it doesn’t feel right and goes against who you are, take note.  Whatever the suggestion is might not be what is right for you in that moment.

I don’t expect my clients (or myself for that matter) to know everything there is to know in order to accomplish their dreams, but I encourage them to listen to their intuition and use it as guidance for the choices they make.  Does that mean that if a suggestion is scary they don’t do it?

Not necessarily.  It can take some work to learn to differentiate between fear and intuition, but once you figure it out, you can begin feeling your way to the future life of your dreams.

It also doesn’t mean you won’t ever have to experience challenging lessons along the way.  Sometimes our intuition will lead us to exactly what we need to learn and experience, so take it as a gift and a lesson.

I guess what I am saying is to trust yourself.  Believe in your dream and trust that the path will light up for you and the steps, advice, inspiration, and action steps on your path will come when they are meant to.  If it just doesn’t feel right and you feel like you are creating someone else’s idea of your dream, then that’s not for you.  Take a step back and remember what your dream is and set the intention on being open to the steps that will keep your dream authentic for you. We all have experienced those “gut feelings” now and again, so tap into your intuition and I assure you it won’t lead you astray.

The Real Deal: Part 2

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A few months ago I shared a post titled The Real Deal.  It was my confession to you (and myself) that I am not perfect and I am in fact human.  (Contrary to how I may act sometimes. 🙂  )

Well consider this part two of that post.large__4182902199

Over the last two days I have been struggling with a lot of questions, doubts, concerns, and overall worry about the future.  A few comments from a friend that were meant to be helpful actually uncovered some deep insecurities and fear within myself that I thought I was managing by putting on a happy face and staying positive.

You see, when I started this life coaching business venture, I had one plan in mind.  I was going to build it from the bottom little-by-little and I fully believed that what I didn’t know about the business end of things I would figure out along the way.  When I got word that I would be losing my current job, I took it as a sign that I should dive more fully into my business and continue building it piece-by-piece and that things would rapidly take off.  For the first time in my life I wasn’t worried about the future.  I didn’t have to know how it was going to happen or what would come next and I certainly wasn’t worried about money.  (If you know me personally, you know that is a HUGE thing for me to say.)

I had faith and I was trusting the process.

Then I received some rather blunt, yet constructive comments about my business and all of my faith and trust flew out the window.  A million “I can’t…” thoughts flew into my mind accompanied by other dream crushing statements that seemed to multiply by the moment.  I was doubting myself, my business, and my future.  I was frustrated, stuck, and lost.  I didn’t know what action to take (if any) and I felt like a failure.

It sucked.  It was ugly.  But, it was necessary.

What I now know is that the insecurities and hidden fear that bubbled up were there all along.  I was simply trying to cover them up.  I didn’t want to admit that there were things I didn’t know and my emotional reaction to a friend and mentors constructive comments gave me the opportunity to face them head on.  I had the option to continue to wallow in self-doubt and worry or take a step back and re-evaluate things.

While there are many things that I have yet to learn, I know this:  I LOVE coaching and I’m good at what I do because of experiences like this.  I know where my clients are coming from when they feel lost, stuck, and unsure of what to do next.  I understand how it feels when things don’t go as planned.  But, I also know what it means to keep going and to keep your dream alive.

Aside from learning to deal with the fear and insecurities that came up in this situation, I have also learned the importance of standing in your power and trusting your intuition.  Just because someone shares their insights and thoughts with you does not mean you have to do anything with it, especially if it doesn’t resonate with you.  You get to choose whether to use the information or discard it.  It’s your choice.

Trust your dreams.  Trust the process, even when it doesn’t go the way you expected.  But most of all trust yourself!

Onward and upward!!!

photo credit: patricklanigan via photopin cc

The Real Deal…

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When I first set out to create my blog, I had this idea to keep most posts upbeat and positive.  I wanted this to be a place of inspiration, motivation, and information to help people move confidently in the direction of their dreams.  I wanted it to be a space of uplifting posts, quotes, and tips to help readers focus on the positive.  As a life coach, I thought it was my duty to keep things light, bright, and positive all the time.

I was wrong.

What I think makes me good at what I do is the fact that I am human and I struggle with many of the same issues my clients do.  I have bad days full of frustration, doubt, and sometimes fear.  I have had my experience with the Dream Crusher on more than one occasion, and there are days when I need to be reminded that I have the power and ability to live the life of my dreams.

I am not perfect.  Authenticity

I don’t always pounce out of bed with a beaming smile and positive attitude.  Sometimes I try too hard and more often than not, I need to take a step back from the immediate issue and look at the bigger picture.  My life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows.  I often struggle with disappointment and worry as I move through my journey and instead of sharing those moments with you, I have remained silent.

There have been many days when I wanted to share something uplifting, but I simply wasn’t in that state of mind and instead of sharing with you my perspective and how I am learning to deal with various situations, I write nothing at all.  I have allowed my idea of being a super-human up-lifter get in the way of sharing my authentic self with you.  For that I am sorry.

Does it make me any less of a coach to confess that I don’t always have it together?  I don’t think so.  In fact, I think it makes me a more effective coach because I know what it is like to have down moments in life.  We all do.  And while I admit to having my fair share of struggles, I also have a variety of tools that I use to help combat those not-so-positive moments and they are tools that I want to share with you.

The truth is I love what I do.  I love working with people and helping them follow their inspiration to live the life of their dreams, but I don’t want to misrepresent myself in the process.  I am an up-lifter that sometimes needs to be uplifted and I’m ok with that, because isn’t that what life is all about?  It’s not about being perfect, it’s about learning, sharing, and experiencing life as much as possible.  And I have to say, if it wasn’t for the struggles I have (and will) encounter in life, I wouldn’t be able to help my clients deal with their own, because sometimes you have to go through it to understand it.

 

Things I’m Afraid To Tell You…

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About a year ago I read a blog post from one of my favorite bloggers (Jess Lively) listing various things Jess was afraid to share with her readers.  (You can view her post here.)  For some reason this morning I was reminded of it and inspired to share with you my own list of things I am afraid to tell you.  By sharing this list with you, I hope to make these things a little less scary for myself and bring comfort to anyone reading this that has their own list.

Things I Am Afraid To Tell You

  • I care about what others think of me far more than I care to admit.  I like to think of myself as an out of the box thinker and overachiever, but there is a part of me that wants to be well liked and accepted by others despite my desire to be unique.
  • I can be very emotional at times.  I feel my feelings very deeply and for a woman who wears her heart on her sleeve, this can become very draining. (I am learning to let some of that go, bit by bit, but in my heart of hearts, I am just one big ‘ole sap.)
  • I have a deep fear of failure and many times it stops me from doing the things my heart desires most…but this is getting better with each new dream I tackle.
  • Sometimes I think if I could just win a million dollars, life would be better.  (Materialistic I know, but I have thought it more than once even though I know money doesn’t equal happiness.)
  • There are times when I am convinced I know nothing and doubt my ability to inspire anyone to change their lives.  Those days I feel like a fraud.
  • Rejection in my work, personal life, and creative ventures is one of the biggest fears I have and I know the only way to conquer it is to accept it as a part of life.  (I am still working on that. )
  • I am a spiritual person, but not in the traditional religious way and I often hide my alternative beliefs (on social media sites and my blog) for fear of being seen in a negative light.
  • I have days when I feel weak and days when I feel strong.  The strong days are beginning to outweigh the weak and I now realize my journey is worth every single valley just so I can experience the view from the mountain top.

So, those are some of the things I am afraid to tell you.  Now that I look back at them it isn’t as scary as I thought.  I am who I am, and despite the often difficult road I have traveled to get here, I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I am who I am because of where I have come from and I accept that I am a work in progress…most of the time.