Lamisha Serf-Walls

My (not so) Tiny Triumph

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Today has been one of those days filled with ample frustration, work, and irritation.  For the most part my day job runs fairly smoothly without much headache, but boy was today different.  I felt like my energy was spread about in many different directions yet little was getting accomplished.  As I felt my stress building, I received an inspirational email about the upside to irritation.  Clearly this email was meant for me to read at that exact moment.  (I love when that happens. )

The email talked about how every moment or circumstance that invokes frustration or any other negative emotion, is an opportunity to find peace.  It sounds a little bit backwards, but when I took the time to think about it, I could see the point.  Every moment I allowed the frustration of the day to get to me was one less peaceful moment.  I had to make a choice to allow the circumstances that I couldn’t control (most of the work circumstances) to be however they were going to be and change my response to them.

I would love to say I got the message and my entire day turned around, but that’s not entirely true.

As the day wore on the frustration wore me out, literally and it caused me to lose some focus.  I began worrying about all the other things I had to do for the evening that were also piling up because of the lack of time (or the perception of lack, but more on that in another post).  One frustrating thought lead to another and it created a snowball effect from there.  I finally made the choice to change that.

I changed my thoughts.

My mantra for the day changed.  Instead of thinking “I don’t have time to ______(fill in the blank)”, I began thinking, “I will do what I can.”  It was amazing what happened.  I felt lighter, more productive, and surprisingly more in control.  Was all my work done in the matter of minutes?  No, but my focus had changed from what I couldn’t do and what I didn’t have (time), to what I could accomplish in the time I had left.  Everything else that didn’t take top priority for the moment was put on my list for tomorrow and the best part about it all is now I have enough energy and mental power to get a few items done this evening.  One of which is relaxing after a long day.
This may seem like a tiny triumph for one day, but to me it is a lifetime lesson.

There are bound to be many more moments when I feel overwhelmed with all of my commitments especially having a family, working full-time, training for life coaching (in the future), and starting my business.  There will be times when I need to take a step back find my peace in the midst of chaos and with this one lesson I will be a little more prepared for the future.

When you look at it that way, this seemingly tiny triumph isn’t so tiny at all.

What about you? What do you do when you feel overwhelmed or frustrated?

Finding Balance

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As a child you probably had no problem answering the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Chances are you didn’t even begin to think about whether it was realistic, because as a child, everything is realistic.  Life is magical and if you can imagine it, it can happen.

Sadly we grow up and society places limitations on what we deem realistic and we lose a bit of that spark of imagination we had as a child.  The magical essence of life is gone and for some it never returns.  Those that lose the sense of magic in life, tend to live and make decisions in very practical ways.  They may make life decisions in ways that make sense and very rarely think and live outside the box.

I have two very distinct sides of myself that at times fight for control over situations and decisions in my life.  One side is the creative dreamer that enjoys creating, writing, choreographing and doing anything that allows me to stretch outside the box.  The other side is logical, practical and a planner.  She sets a plan and executes accordingly.  This side is also quite controlling and when things don’t fall into place the way I thought they should…well let’s say it isn’t a pretty sight.

It would seem that having a combination of these two sides would provide a nice balance, but to be honest it doesn’t.  When I begin to think of all the wonderful things I want to do in my life, my realistic/logical side often kicks in and begins asking “how”.  How will you start a business, when you don’t know anything about business?  What are the steps?  When do we start?  How long will it take?  The list of questions goes on and at some point I begin questioning whether I can do it or not.  My self-talk takes a very negative turn and fear kicks into full throttle.  It goes downhill from there.

During these times I find my logical/realistic side fueling my limiting beliefs, the very beliefs I need to release in order to make my dreams a reality.

There are other times when my imaginative side is in control and I am floating on the belief that anything is possible.   During these times I truly believe that all of the unknown pieces will fall into place if I am patient, believe in myself, and keep my mind open to the many possibilities of how my dreams can come true.  These thoughts often lead to more complacency than action.

What I have found is that neither side will benefit me if used exclusively and yet I am at a loss as to how I can combine the two to work together.  How can I dream a magical dream, yet set some action steps that will allow me to make progress as I go?  I’m afraid there is no formula that will work for me and as with anything in life it will take a bit of trial and error.

Yet again I am presented with an opportunity to learn.

I now have the opportunity to practice patience as I figure everything out.  By allowing myself to not have all the answers, I am relieving a lot of pressure I have had on myself for the past few years.  Additionally, I am giving myself the space to learn how to release the fear and uncertainty that comes with my dreams and as I shed each layer, I become more open to life and possibility.  By allowing my dreams to unfold organically, I can believe in the magic again without feeling like I always have to control how my dreams come true.  I am reminded that while I may have a plan in place, the Universe may have a better way and if my focus resides on my one and only plan, I am stifling the very thing that I love so much…my creativity.

The key?  Believing that anything is possible (no matter what you want to accomplish), setting a loose plan, and being flexible about how your dreams meet reality. Sounds easier than it is, but with a little practice anything is possible.

And So It Begins…

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A little less than a year ago I had a dream (well many dreams to be exact), but one in particular was to create a blog that would serve as a space for my creativity, expression, and the beginning of a bigger vision.  This isn’t my first blog.  I started one over a year ago and soon realized that my dream was lacking in vision and intent.  I simply wanted to write and while my posts made sense and were inspirational (I thought), there was something missing.  The missing link was the thought behind the blog itself.  I had no idea who my audience would be, who might like to read what I had to say, and where I wanted it to lead.  So I decided to begin again.  The thought process took me awhile, but here I am with the same dream, a new vision, and a plan.  A recipe for success…or for more learning and life lessons and growing as a writer.  Either way I am ready for where this new adventure will take me and I hope you are too.