Lamisha Serf-Walls

Gratitude: Democracy and Books

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As I continue to do my daily (and weekly) gratitude practices, I am finding not only am I beyond blessed in my life, but I may be taking far too much for granted.  I am much better at noticing the little things that make my life easier, more beautiful, and sometimes just plain interesting.  I guess you could say I am much more aware of the little joys in life and it allows for a happier disposition over all.  Additionally the frustrating things in life (you know like waiting in a long line for 3 hours to vote-type of things) don’t seem as frustrating when you look at all of the wonderful blessings around you.  So without further ado, here is my latest installment of gratitude.

 

This week I am grateful for democracy.  With the election this week, my dedication and appreciation of democracy was taken to a whole new level.  I have been much more aware and involved with politics this year than ever before and the main reason is because I am thinking beyond my own limited vision of life and future.  I am thinking of the life of my son and other children to come.  The decisions I make today have an impact on the future of this country and ultimately the life of my children and grandchildren.  I was reminded of that this week as I stood in a ridiculously long line to cast my vote.  Yes the line was long, and I spent one of the three hours it took me to vote outside in the cold, but all the while I was very aware and thankful to have the opportunity to cast my vote.  I was proud to see so many people turn out regardless of who they were voting for, because too often people believe their voice, their vote, and their opinion doesn’t matter.  But if you don’t cast your vote, use your voice, etc., then it will never matter.  I am both humbled and grateful for the democracy we have in this country and the continued progress we are making.  Don’t get me wrong we still have far to go and the system is far from perfect, but we are far better off in many ways than hundreds of countries around the world and for that I am grateful.  With a grateful heart for what is, I have high hopes that we will continue to move as a country towards a more united nation with equality for all and that I will live long enough to see it.

I am also grateful for books.  I love the adventures, knowledge, and occasional reprieve from everyday life you can get by simply opening the pages of a good book.  Not to downplay technology and the new readers that are out there, but I love reading books I can hold and carry with me.  In the last two years there hasn’t been a time when I wasn’t in the middle of 2 or 3 books at a time, enjoying every moment of it.  It is one of the things I do to escape the stresses of life, to learn and grow as a person, and to relax.  There is nothing better than a warm snuggly blanket, rainfall outside, and a good book.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and find some down time yourself, no matter how you choose to spend it.

Winds Of Change

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My how the winds of change sweep in so quickly, or so it has seemed recently.  I mentioned last week how I had some good feelings about the rest of the year.  I felt like something was on the verge of happening in my writing world and it was going to be great.  I also mentioned that what I thought was going to happen didn’t.  With that said the winds of change are blowing and they are blowing in an unexpected, unforeseen opportunity that will help me move forward towards beginning my life coach training program.

What is it you ask?

This week I was notified of a change in some of my work responsibilities at my day job that will mean more work, more hours, but some extra income as well.  Doesn’t sound like a good change does it? Actually it is a good thing because the added income will be just what I need to move towards setting a date to begin my life coach training (more on that later).  It is also a reason to celebrate because I feel like I am truly making progress and progress is always a good thing.

I am also seeing change  in a new light.

Change and I have never been friends, in fact change is something that I both crave and fear.  Not knowing where my path may lead fills me with both excitement and dread as I begin to think of all of the possibilities that can come from it.  I guess it also depends on what type of change we are talking about, but this type of change that allows me to move forward towards my dreams is a change I am ready to make.  And while the added income will be great, there are some other trade offs I have to be willing to make in the short-term.

One of which is more work and potentially more stress.  More items on my to-do list that will require more organization and balance of my time.  Add to that weekend hours that I am not used to and the potential for a very chaotic, stress-filled experience.  But, since I know this ahead of time I am choosing to be proactive in my efforts.  Planning my time accordingly and remembering the benefits of this current sacrifice.  More money and more savings mean I can begin my training much sooner.

In addition to that, the more time I spend in a job that I don’t love is more motivation to work on getting my ducks in a row to begin my journey towards my life coaching business.  This may be a mini step and a little sacrifice, but in my book it is also a huge opportunity to move forward.  And for that I am thankful as I welcome the winds of change, for they are not only changing this moment, but have the opportunity to change the rest of my life.

Maybe change isn’t so bad after all.

Success Redefined

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I have made it just past a month since starting this blog (woohoo!) and I am very proud.  Not only have I stuck with my writing every week day, but I have also managed to keep my creativity flowing and I have found that I am never lacking in material or ideas.  Success!!

Or is it?

When I started using WordPress as a platform for my blog, I was (and still am) very excited about how easy it is to use.  For a newbie like myself it was easy to set up and start blogging, and while there are still many things to learn, I feel confident with what I post each day.  In addition to the easy set up, I found (rather quickly) there is some great statistical information you can get in one click of your mouse.  Information about how many people viewed your posted, what country they are from, the number of “likes” for each post, and how many followers you have.  And being the numbers gal that I am, sometimes I find myself obsessing about the numbers.  How many views do I have today?  How many “likes” do I have?  Any new followers?

Crazy right?

I know I just started this magnificently creative, and courageous journey and though I keep telling myself that “every new blog takes time to grow”, I feel a little disappointed in the numbers.  If one of my posts doesn’t have many likes or views, I am starting to wonder about my content.  Is it boring?  Did I post too late or too early?  Should I have certain topics on certain days? Questions that are taking my focus away from my flow of creativity and joy in my writing.  And since I started this blog for two reasons, (to inspire, empower, and motivate others to achieve their dreams as well as to have a creative outlet for my thoughts), I realized that getting the most likes or followers on my blog is not as important and should not be my main focus.

Easy to say, not as easy to do.

So I am redefining success as it pertains to my blog.  Creating a blog and sticking with it was one of my dreams and here I am blogging about it.  I am enjoying the creativity, thoughts, and muses that come about in my daily life because of my blog and am happy to share with others in hopes that as they venture towards their goals, they will know that they are not alone in their journey.  I am enjoying the journey, the connection with other bloggers, and my own space to share my thoughts, visions, words, etc.  I’d say that is a success, a mini success maybe, but a success none the less.  And as my blog continues to grow (and it will), my definition of success may also change.  One day, I might set a goal for a certain number of followers/likes/blog awards etc., but I’m not there yet.  As for today, I am enjoying the process of creating something that matters to me.  And while I will still check out the numbers and statistics (because I’m curious), I will not allow my confidence to waver if I don’t have as much traffic, or “likes”, because while they are great, they are not the reason I am on this journey.  Those things do not define me as a blogger, writer, creator or person, but in time as I continue to make progress in my writing and blogging, those things will grow naturally.  It just takes time and patience. 

That is the great thing about goals.  When you create your dreams or goals, you get to decide what is successful and what isn’t.  For instance, if you are looking to lose a certain amount of weight, you are bound to have a bunch of little successes along the way and it is important to celebrate them as you go.  It builds the momentum and positive energy you will need to stay the course and reach your ultimate goal.  Same thing goes for any goal really.  If you are starting a business, celebrate when you decide on the name of that business.  Celebrate when you find the space for that business.  Celebrate when you have 2 clients, or when you have 10.

The main thing to remember is to celebrate the journey because it is there that you will find many little successes that once built upon, create the life you once dreamt.

Think about it.  How do you define success as it pertains to your most current dream?  I would love to know.

Acceptance vs Resistance

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There are many times in my life when I find a common theme that continues to appear in various ways.  Sometimes it’s a word or a phrase I hear over and over, while other times it’s a full-blown message in a book or article I am reading, but no matter where I see it, if it keeps popping up I take note.  This has happened again over the last week or so and the message I am seeing in various places is acceptance for what is.

What does that mean? When I think of acceptance I often think of the serenity prayer, specifically “accept the things I cannot change”.  It rings true to me that we should accept the things that are outside of our control, however I can’t help but wonder what if we only perceive that we cannot change it, but then again perception becomes our reality most of the time.  But this message of acceptance has come in many forms and circumstances.  It is not the message that we should simply accept the circumstances we are given and then give up hope (I don’t believe in giving up hope), but instead I feel led to accept what is right now.  

Accepting a situation for what it is right this moment does not mean it cannot change or all hope is lost.  Instead it means allowing it to be as it is now and not fighting it or resisting the reality for this moment.  Let me give you an example.  Yesterday when I received notification that my poems were not selected for publishing I was fairly disappointed at first.  Part of me was resisting the reality of the matter because I wanted them to be published so badly and I even found myself resisting the disappointment.  The reality for the moment was that the poems would not be published right now.  The reality was that I was disappointed and no matter how hard I fought those facts, they were not going to change, at least not at that time.  The best choice was to accept it as is.  My partner was actually the person that helped remind me of the choice I had to focus on the positive, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t allow the feeling of disappointment to be there. I just had to choose not to allow it to take over.  And that is what I did.

This idea of acceptance came in another conversation regarding accepting people for who they are, not who you wish them to be.  Often times I have the ability to see the potential in people even when they ate not living up to it or can’t see it in themselves.  Yet sometimes I expect too much and instead if accepting who that person is right now, I fight against it by setting expectations that I know they won’t reach (at least right now).  This is a rocky road to tread on because it almost always leads to disappointment on my part.

So how does this apply to accomplishing our dreams?  In my opinion by accepting what is right now we are allowing ourselves to  free up some of our much-needed energy by letting go of the resistance and allowing things to be as they are.  It doesn’t mean we can’t change it because sometimes we can, but there are also times when we must learn to let go. I am not suggesting we let go of the possibility of our dreams, but instead letting go of the way we wish our dreams to meet reality.  While we may believe we know the best way, or the most realistic way for our dreams to come true, the truth is we don’t know all the ways and sometimes the best way, is to let go just a little bit and allow life to be magical again.

Why spend so much time resisting the things we can’t change right this instant, when acceptance can be so freeing?  I know it’s easier said than done, but I believe it is worth the practice to accept what is and open our hearts and minds to other possibilities.

What will you accept today?

Ease Into It

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The other day I set an intention to get my fitness and meditation practices back on track, and yesterday was my first day back.  I was happy to find nice weather outside as I began my extended walk/jog on my lunch break and that optimistic feeling might have caused me to over-estimate my current fitness level.

As I began I warmed up a bit by walking and with the sun shining down on me boy was I feeling good. I felt so good that I broke out into a jog, thinking I could at least jog half of the total distance.  I was wrong.  I found very quickly that I am much more out of shape than I thought and realized I should probably walk before I run.  And as you may already know  patience is not my forte, and sometimes I have a difficult time easing into things.  As I huffed and puffed, I decided to listen to my body and walk the remainder of the distance, but instead of berating myself and judging my lack of progress, I used it as an opportunity to really enjoy my surroundings.  It turned out to be a very lovely walk, leaving me feeling energetic and focused for the rest of my day, a sure sign that exercise and fresh air does wonders for the mind and body.  I also realized that had I not listened to my body, I would have felt very differently about my new fitness regime and over the course of the day I kept thinking…you have to ease into it.

That thought stuck with me because while it applies to my health and fitness plans, it also relates to my dreams as well.  I often find myself passionate and excited about a new project or idea and I want to dive in head first and I have found that if I do the unfortunate result is burn out.  (My two previous attempts at blogging is a great example.)  And while my passion and drive may never cease (at least I hope it doesn’t), I am reminded that in order for my dreams and goals to last, I have to ease into them.

What does that mean?

In regards to my life coaching career it means allowing myself the space to learn along the way, to plan for unforeseen challenges, and enjoy the ride.  There’s a concept I often forget…enjoying the ride.  I have often been so focused (and frustrated) on getting there, that I have found myself dismissing my little victories along the way and forgetting that the journey is really the best part.  And though I will be extremely proud, excited, and feeling over the moon once my business really takes off, I will feel that way because of all the things I did to get there.  The planning, writing, saving, creating, and all the other wonderful things that go into building a business are all things I want to truly experience and if I were to jump in head first, I might miss everything it takes to get there.

I don’t want to miss that.

I want to take it one step at a time (did I just say that?) in order to not only do it the right way, but the right way for me.  It may not be the way everyone else would do it, but then again I am not everyone else.  I am me.  I am passionate about helping people.  I am creative and I am absolutely in love with the idea of helping people achieve their own dreams and as I learn what it takes to achieve mine, I will be that much better at helping someone else.  Those are the things that excite me and allow me to take a step back and say “I will do this”.

So I have decided that while my passion is what fuels my ideas, creations, and my life, it’s something I want to last and so I will be patient.  I will enjoy the journey as it unfolds, be present in each experience, and keep my vision alive, both for my dream of being a life coach, and my intention of getting my health back on track.  But above all else, I am learning more and more, that life is a wonderful journey, and if you can’t enjoy the journey, the destination won’t mean all that much anyways.