Lamisha Serf-Walls

Vacation Reflections

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I hope you all had a wonderful 4th of July holiday and could enjoy family, friends, and a lot of fun.  I haven’t posted in several days because we went on a little vacation to visit family last week and while I had every intention to prepare a few posts for last week, it didn’t happen.  I am however, back in action this week!

Before I post the Dreamer Highlight for this week (tomorrow), I thought I would share a few things I realized during the course of my vacation.  I tend to be so immersed in how many days I have left in my time off that I miss some precious moments, insights, and experiences, however this time was different.  With over 21 hours in the car and many more relaxing, I had some interesting thoughts and inspirations to share with you.

Vacation Reflections:

  • No matter how much you love your work, everyone needs and deserves a break so don’t skimp on your vacation time.  This past week off was wonderful for so many reasons, but one was the fact that even though we had planned something to do with family each day, it amounted to much-needed down time.
  • Time away from anything provides time and space for growth. My phone is full of notes, ideas, phrases, and other inspirational material that simply came to me while I was in the moment.  Instead of “trying” so hard to come up with a blog post idea or what I might offer in my coaching business, I found they floated into my consciousness effortlessly when I allowed myself some down time.  It was wonderful.
  • Seeing the bigger picture in many cases is far more beneficial than agonizing over the minor details.  With traffic delays, detours, and a multitude of other things that could send you (read me) into a tailspin during a road trip, they are all quite minor when you look at the whole trip.  Looking back I can see how the slight delays and hiccups we experienced during our trip were fleeting when compared to the big picture of our overall experience.  Overall, we had a lovely time despite the seemingly annoying details.
  • Time off allows for you to see things with fresh eyes.  Similar to my second point, there is something about taking time away from everyday life that provides a new way of seeing things.  While the Monday after a vacation isn’t my most favorite day, I realized that I had a renewed sense of purpose and drive for the things that needed to get done.  And since I am so much a “doer” I didn’t feel nearly as overwhelmed or frustrated with my “to-do’s” as I might have before our vacation.
  • Sometimes doing nothing is just as important as doing something.  Looking back at the last week, I realize that much of the time I was doing nothing in particular.  My plan was to read a lot (to get caught up on some reviews), brainstorm, research, and enjoy family.  As it turned out, we only did what we wanted to do i.e. spent time with family at the zoo, the movies, Chuck E. Cheese, and we went skating.  All-in-all, it was a wonderful trip full of quality time with family and time spent doing nothing in particular.

I hope you returned to this week with fresh eyes and a renewed energy for the month ahead.  If you took time off last week I would love to hear about your own vacation reflections.

Training The Happy

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I began my day today noticing various aspects about the world, my son, and myself that put a smile on my face and gratitude in my heart.  My son is turning 3 this weekend and I am so grateful that he is healthy, vibrant, and quite the entertainer.  Life is good, I am loved, healthy, and in a good place.  It seemed that nothing could ruin my mood today and it was quite lovely.  Until…

Well that’s the thing, there wasn’t anything in particular that happened to dull the vibrant happy I was feeling, it just sort of wore off a bit.  Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t fall to the other end of the emotional spectrum and feel upset, angry, or sad.  I just wasn’t on the same cloud I was on earlier in the morning.  It got me wondering what happened and how can I get that feeling back?

Just before the happy seemed to fade I had written a poem/greeting card about happiness and the words spoke to me so much that I think I had my answer before the question was formed in my mind.  I realized the idea of “happiness” for many people (me included) stems primarily from a future point in time.  The good feeling comes with thinking of what is coming down the pike or what we are looking forward to.  I know I have always had a tendency to look into the future for the best things to come and incidentally I miss the good stuff that is all around me.  Not only that, but the good stuff around me doesn’t seem to compare to the future event that I have created in my mind.  And yet when that moment comes, I may feel happy it is here, but it is only momentarily until I am waiting for the next future moment to be happy about.

As I was pondering this thought, I realized the importance of not only being happy in the moment, but training the happy.

What is that?

Training the happy simply means doing things in the moment that remind you of the good stuff here and now.  Seeing the beauty around you and being grateful for it.  Finding the positive aspects of life in each and every situation.  Sure it may seem difficult at first, but the more you practice it, the more you train yourself to be happy now, the easier it is to let go of the idea that you will be happy when…whatever happens.  You can be happy now, you just have to train yourself to see the good.

So, as my jovial feeling was dulling, I began thinking of the things that make me happy and I wrote some of them down.  My son’s smile.  His laughter.  The silly things he says and how happy he is to see me when he gets home.  The fact that we found the cake he wanted for his birthday after thinking it wasn’t available.  The sunshine.

I then found my happy factor increasing and the positive thoughts multiplying in my head.  One thought led to another etc.  And while it may seem amazing in the moment, it’s no rocket science.  The process is simple.  Think of what makes you feel good and keep that going.  Sooner or later you will find yourself looking for the good feelings on a regular basis and your happy mood will be the new normal for right now.  And when the future moment comes that knocks your happy socks off, you will savor it fully in the moment and the next because you know there are many happy moments to be celebrated.

So, the next time you find yourself feeling less than joyful, use it as an opportunity to train your happy.  In fact don’t wait for that moment.  Start right now!  Make a list of 20 positive aspects about you, your life, your surroundings, your job, your spouse, etc., and watch your happy factor multiply.

What else do you do to increase your happy?

 

Reflection: Surviving to Thriving

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I often find myself sitting in contemplation, reflecting on a certain situation, thought, or book I have read recently.  It isn’t abnormal for me to turn inward for a few days as I think about whatever it is that has given me reason to reflect, and a few weeks ago someone said something to me that got me thinking.  In a conversation I was having about a particular challenge I was dealing with someone said “No matter what you have encountered in your life, no matter how hard it may have seemed, you have always survived.”  In the moment that comment didn’t seem like much, but in the last few weeks I have been reminded of that comment over and over again.

Many times when we are stuck in a rut or dealing with a particular challenge, it is easy to feel like our world is crumbling and everything is falling down on us.  The negative aspects of life seem to be highlighted and we can easily be convinced that we are failing at whatever it is we are attempting to do.  We may think we aren’t good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, and simply don’t measure up to whatever standards we are measuring ourselves by.  It is during those times we believe the illusion that we are destined to fail when the truth is we have made it this far and have been through far worse things in life than this very moment.  And as I have pondered that comment, I realized that yes I have survived every challenge I have encountered and I am better for it.  Of course you couldn’t tell me that in the moment of a complete meltdown, but it is true.

The more I contemplate that thought, the stronger I feel.  I know that I have seen, experienced, felt, and lived some terrible things in life and the “challenges” I experience now are nothing compared to them.  And beyond all that I am here.  I am stronger, wiser, and honestly more creative than ever because of my past and the challenges I have faced.  So yes, I have always survived.  Yes, I will make it through the next proverbial storm. And yes, I am still growing, but I am moving into a phase of my life that is more than just surviving.  I am moving into a phase of life where I thrive.

A phase of life where my dreams transform my reality faster than I can dream it, and my life is wonderful.  Not wonderful because everything is fine and dandy, but wonderful because I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am strong enough to handle whatever comes my way.  I am learning life lessons and embracing change more than I have ever before and if you know me ( and many of you do), you know this is no small feat.  And as I write this I know I may need to be reminded of my strength and my ability to thrive when life throws me a particularly difficult situation and during those moments I will read this post and remember the strength that lies within.

 

Gratitude: Reflection and New Beginnings

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This week I spent a lot of time in a hotel room with a rambunctious 2-year-old and in between chasing him around and trying to keep him entertained, I spent some time reflecting on this past year and thinking of the new year ahead.  This week I am grateful for reflection and new beginnings.

At the end of each year I tend to think back to the past 12 months and reflect on how far I have come.  I like to think about the challenges I have made it through and my accomplishments.  This past year has been one of many ups and downs, yet as the year is coming to a close I have found most of my growth has occurred in the last 2 months or so.  I don’t know exactly why that is, but I am glad that I have grown and changed this past year the way I have.  I have found that I am more patient with changes in everyday life and am more open to the flow of life, both very important areas of growth for me personally.  All in all it has made for a more peaceful end to the year and takes me to my next gratitude item.

At the end of each year after I reflect on the past year, I also look forward to the year ahead.  I like to think about the things I want to change and new goals for the year ahead.  I like to dream and dream big.  Last year I decided to put together a dream board for 2012.  I put together pictures and words that I looked at everyday in an attempt to fit my year together like a puzzle.  Things I wanted more of in my life, accomplishments I wanted to achieve, and even more general items were depicted on my dream board and I can honestly say it gave me a lot of motivation for the year ahead.  I haven’t decided how I will dream big for 2013 and whether I will make another dream board or not, but I will definitely spend some time as this year comes to a close thinking of the newness that lies ahead.

Some believe that today was to be the end of the world and while I never believed that to be true, I do believe we are at a point in history that is important for all of us.  We are at a point of transition.  A transition from fear, hate, and separation to love and co-creation.  I hope that each and every one of us will take some time to reflect on what we can do to work together to make this world a better place, to reach out and co-create a world of peace and love together as one.  I read a quote today that I love so much and thought I would share it here.

“The lamps are different, But the light is the same.” Rumi  May we move into 2013 with a sense of knowing that we hold within us the same light and love to change the world.  What will you do to change the world?