Lamisha Serf-Walls

Moving Through the Storm and Into the Sunrise

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photo credit: Hamed Saber via photopin cc

Last week I shared a few videos on how to add a bit more self-care into every single day.  It seems fitting since this week I need not only a little, but it seems quite a lot.

I am moving through a period of transformation not just in my business, but also in my personal life.  I am uncovering another layer of who I am and learning to be with whatever comes up which for me can be a pretty emotional process.  You see, I am realizing that some of the lessons I thought I learned (and incidentally mastered) are resurfacing for deeper clearing and healing.  It’s like going through college and taking Psych 101 and moving onto Psych 205.  More info, more processing, more to integrate into everyday living.

So here I am in the center of what I call for my clients a ‘blissful breakthrough‘ though I am not quite at the bliss yet.  I’m still in the uncovering, releasing, and accepting phase.  Loosening old thoughts that have been lodged in my psyche for as long as I can remember.  Letting go of the crud that has weighed me down over the years and releasing the expectation that the world must shift in order for me to stay present, be successful, and happy.

As far as shifts go, I know them well.  I have gone through many periods of growth followed by long periods of plateau and here I am in the growth phase once again.  And in my experience after the emotional upheaval that may come, the silence, and the shift comes incredible clarity.

It’s almost like being in the middle of a treacherous storm.  Heavy rain, powerful wind, and old debris falling away only to be followed by the most amazing sunrise that only comes after a powerful storm.

The storm is your breakthrough.  The sunrise is your bliss.  Moments like these remind me why I am able to do the work I do.  It’s because I get it.  I’ve been there and am still learning, growing, and evolving.

As for the current lesson, I am allowing and not fighting it.  Accepting it and not resisting it because I know what lies on the other side of this and I have a choice.  I can fight it, hide it, and ignore  it or I can accept it, allow it, and choose to see the sunrise again.  I choose the sunrise.  Because even on the darkest day, with heavy rain, and crazy wind, I know the sun will rise again.

And while I am being a bit tight-lipped about the specifics of the lesson and my current situation, I want you to know this: Lessons in life are inevitable, but even with them all you get to decide how you feel, what you do, and what you want out of life.  So decide what you want and be willing to experience the lessons along the way and heal what needs to be healed.  It is there you will find your bliss.

<3 Lamisha

 

When Inspiration Fails…Or Does It?

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Happy Friday Dreamers!

I talk a lot about following your inspiration and not questioning the feeling when you feel the need to act.  I have even stressed the point that when you follow your inspiration there tends to be something special waiting for you that ultimately leads you to the very next step.  But, what happens when the very next step you thought you were moving toward, doesn’t work out?

Did your intuition fail you?

No it didn’t. Click the video below to hear a story about my own inspired action and how I realized my intuition really didn’t fail me.


Can you remember a moment when you thought your intuition/inspiration had failed you, but you realized things turned out for the better?  If so, I would love to hear about it in the comments below!

P.S. Get ready because you are going to be seeing a lot more videos in the months to come.  Stay tuned!

Being Here, Instead of There

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I find that I learn life lessons far better through experience as opposed to theory and this past weekend, I found myself learning a life lesson that I have known in theory for many years, but am only now beginning to bring it into my experience by one of the wisest teachers I know….my three year old son.

You see the misconception that many people have about parenting is that the parent is the “know all” to the child.  Parents are supposed to teach all the important life lessons since theoretically we have learned them all ourselves and while that may be true for some things, I find I learn far more from my son, than I have taught him in the last 3 years of his life.  The most recent lesson came yesterday when he absolutely refused to take his nap.  (If you are a parent, you know exactly what I am talking about.)

The lesson he taught me: Be.Here.Now.behere

The struggle began with my preconceived, preplanned expectation of what I wanted to accomplish during nap time yesterday.  I had some work to do and it seemed that nap time was a good time to dig in and get some things done before the big game.  My son had plans of his own.  Mainly to avoid sleep at all costs and to teach Momma a very important lesson about life.

Every time I tried to put my little one down for his nap, he fought me.  Being the parent, I thought I knew what was best for him and could tell that he was in fact tired.  It was my duty to get him down so he could rest his weary head, right?  Maybe.  Upon further reflection today, I realized what I was really trying to do was get him to fall in line with my expectations so I could have a bit of a rest and get some (in my mind very important) things done.

Instead of listening to what he truly needed, I was focused on all the things I needed to do, but wasn’t able to.  I was watching the hours tick by and was planning for the disaster that would occur if he didn’t take his nap.  Cranky kid, cranky Momma, and no work done.  Sadly and selfishly, my thoughts were not on what my son needed from me in that moment, but on what I needed him to do so I could move on with the rest of my schedule.

Thinking about it this morning, I was filled with guilt and the worst kind…Momma-guilt.  The kind that breaks your heart and makes you feel like the worst mother on the planet.  Luckily, I didn’t stay there long before I moved from guilt to curiosity.  What could I learn from this?

Is the lesson that good moms never lose their patience?

Nope.

What I learned is that regardless of what expectations I have set for the day, the week, the month, or the year, shit happens.  Plans don’t work out.  Kids don’t nap.  Cars break down.  It rains. (Though thankfully all that didn’t happen in one day.) And when things don’t go as planned, it’s not only best to just roll with it, it’s imperative.

You see, even with plans and expectations for what I wanted to accomplish yesterday, I could have been fully in the here and now.  And if I was, I would have been better equipped to roll with the punches and find a better way to spend my time.  Instead of thinking about the work I was not doing but desperately needed to do, I could have created some happy memories with my son.

The lesson in all of this is what I have known in theory all along.  Life is lived in the ‘now’.  Not the past or the future.  When we waste our days thinking about what we could’ve, should’ve, or would’ve done or about what has yet to come, we miss the most amazing, magical moments in life.  For me, those moments were with my son.  For you, it might be with your spouse, a friend, or a magical moment that could lead you to the next step of your dream.  And while I would love to say I have mastered this lesson and will always be patient and flow with life, I’m not sure that’s entirely true.

What I do know is that I will be far more mindful of where my thoughts are in the moment.  I will breathe.  I will think, and I will refocus on the present moment, especially when I am with my son.  Because let’s face it, time passes by too quickly and life is too short to worry about work, stress, bills, money, and material things when we have precious children, spouses, friends, pets, family members, etc. around us.

So my question for you is this:  Where are you now?  Here or There???

2013 Reflection-Look How Far You’ve Come

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Hello my lovely dreamers!

I apologize for my sudden time off of the blog, but with Christmas and some pending deadlines just before the holiday, I found myself a bit scattered.  As I work to get back on track, I thought I would share with you a bit about what the next week and a half will be about here on the blog.

As the New Year approaches, many of us are looking to make some changes.  Some big and maybe a few small changes and as we plan to make 2014 the best year yet, I have a few things planned here on the blog.

Last year, I wrote a few posts about how I was going to plan for 2013 with a Letter to Myself, a vision board, and selecting a theme for the year.  This year, I have a few ideas for making changes for the new year along with some other inspiring posts to get us all started on the right foot.  I hope you will join me in this end of year reflection and planning as the new year approaches.  I have a feeling it’s going to be a good one for all of us.

The process of reflection is an important piece that many of us miss as we look to make changes.  We get so excited for what is to come, that we often forget to look back at all of our accomplishments and challenges.  This is meant to give you a clear picture of how far you have come as well as provide an opportunity to really celebrate the past year.  The lessons, challenges, and successes are all part of how you got to where you are today and reflecting on that can be invaluable for the future.  Michelle Ward keeps track of her “wins” throughout the year so she can reflect back on it at the end of the year in celebration.  You can read her 2013 re-cap here.

Even if you haven’t collected your wins throughout the year, this exercise is a great way to get started on your reflection.  Think back to all the things you started, made progress on, and completed in the past year.  Write them down, celebrate them and recognize your progress.  You might even take it one step further and take note of any challenges you overcame during the year that you are particularly proud of.

Every year is something to celebrate and before you begin to make plans for 2014, take a step back and review how far you have come.

My list of wins include:

  • Taking the leap to create my coaching framework (April)
  • Successfully working with my wonderful guinea pig client (May)
  • Reaching my 1 year mark of blogging (October)
  • Working with a total of 5 clients (from August to December)

While I am sure there are many others that I am missing, the biggest thing for me this year was taking the leap into my dream career and committing myself to helping clients live their dreams.  It is my gift, my calling, and my purpose and I love doing what I do.

Take some time this week to reflect on 2013.  What wins would you put on your list?

Endings and New Beginnings

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I suppose it is fitting that endings and new beginnings have been on my mind as of late.  As the year quickly comes to a close many people are taking advantage of this time to make plans for the new year while reflecting on what they have accomplished this year.  While I don’t think it’s necessary to stay focused in the past for too long, it is important to reflect on how far you have come, where you are going, and what changes you want to make. medium_4646140669

As my most recent full-time position ended on Friday, I found myself in the most wonderful (and weird) state of peace.  While I have never been laid off from any position, there was something about this position ending during at this time of the year that felt so right.  All along I have felt that this situation just happened perfectly and that in 3, 6, or even 12 months in the future, I will look back on this moment and know that this was the turning point to something bigger.  As I sit here and write this, I have no idea what that might be, but I am so excited to find out.

I wasn’t always this easy about change.  There was once a time in my life when even the most simple changes threw me for a loop.  Something so small as changing my schedule could throw my entire day off.  A flat tire? Bad weather? Anything out of my ordinary expectations would ruin my entire day and we aren’t even talking about money.  Money issues are an entirely different story.  Yet, here I am looking into a future that is far more unknown than is known and I am peaceful, happy even.  I have faith that it will work out.  I will find my next thing and it will be the perfect situation for what I need in that moment.  I’m not worried and for me that is a little bit weird.

How about you?  How well do you deal with change?  With this year coming to a close are there things that you are ready to move on from and other things you want to get started?  I’m sure you may have a laundry list of things that you would like to implement into this new year and maybe even some things that you are ready to close the door on.  Whatever that might be for you, I would love the chance to chat with you about it.  I am still scheduling free-intro sessions for anyone who is interested.  So, if you are looking for someone to help you create some simple, yet inspiring action steps to get you moving into your new beginnings with ease, I’m your girl.  Simply contact me and we can get you well on your way to an amazing start to 2014.  I can’t wait to see what is in store!
photo credit: bjornmeansbear via photopin cc