Lamisha Serf-Walls

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You’ll Know It When You Feel It

September 18, 2013 by Lamisha

I had a moment today when my inspiration came flooding back.  I guess it wasn’t gone entirely, but over the last 2 weeks or so, I have felt my inspiration dwindle more and more while I found doubt creeping in much more than usual.  I knew it would come back, I just wasn’t sure when or how.

Today it did.

The last few weeks the momentum in my business and writing has slowed a bit, and while I wasn’t immediately concerned, I have found myself playing the “what if” game in a negative way.  Instead of thinking, “oh, what if I found the perfect job to replace the new job”, I found myself saying “what if I can’t find anything before December?”.

Not a fun game to play.

But today, when I followed up with a client for our call tomorrow, my inspiration and passion returned.  She was giving me an update on what has been going on over the last week and her update was overflowing with inspiration, excitement, energy, and passion that she passed that along to me.

I remembered in an instant why I do what I do and how good it feels to watch a client grow and evolve.  I read the email and smiled not only because of the success of a wonderfully talented client/writer/wordsmith/storyteller, but because in that moment my heart opened and the doubt began to melt away.

My inspiration is back and running rampant.

Sometimes you don’t have to know where or how or when, the important thing is that you will know it when you feel it.

What is the “it” I am referring to?  It can be your inspiration, your next step, your dream job, or anything else you are wanting “it” to be.

Trust your intuition because you will know it when you feel it and boy does it feel good!

Filed Under: Coaching, Inspiration, journey, Life, Peace, Practices, Writing

4 Phases To The Life Of Your Dreams

August 28, 2013 by Lamisha

When I set out to create my coaching model, I began thinking about my own process in creating a coaching practice.  I pondered the struggles, challenges, and frustrations I encountered (and still encounter) and put it all together into a 4-phase model.  This doesn’t mean everyone fits perfectly into one phase or another or even moves through them linearly, but I have found that many people deal with these phases at some point as they move toward their dreams.

Phase 1:  Dream Discovery- I have found there are people who either know what their dream is or they don’t and usually the ones that don’t know simply haven’t labeled a specific hobby, thought, or want as a dream.  There are however, people who have forgotten how to dream.  These are the people who have been taught to move through life based on their core survival needs.  They may go to school and study a subject they are good at or follow in the footsteps of a family member because they were expected to.  They may be in a career that pays the bills, but doesn’t necessarily bring them joy.  They may even be people who don’t know it’s possible to do what you love and get paid for it and are strictly living in a “survival of the fittest” mentality.  daretodream

These are people who need help dreaming again.  They are people that I work with to broaden their horizon about life and open their eyes and minds to having the wonder of a child again.  I help them use their imaginations and allow the restrictions of logical thinking to go out the window and tap into the child that always wanted to ________(fill in the blank).  Too often, we feel we need to grow up and let go of that pipe dream that still lies within us.  The truth is if we tapped into that place more, we would not only be happier, but we would find that life is limitless and there is a power within us that allows us to do ultimately anything!

Phase 2: Feel The Magic- Phase 2 is really about keeping the magical feeling of wonder alive.  It’s about allowing our dreams to take our thoughts where they may and to get into the knowing that anything is possible.  There are some people who know what they want to do, but have difficulty figuring out how to do it because they only see one or two ways.  (I was one of these people.)  Clients in this phase typically have a vision of how they will achieve a specific dream, yet for some reason it hasn’t worked out.  They may be frustrated and stagnant in their dream and need a bit of assistance bringing the magic back to fuel their vision.  I help clients do just that.  I help them tap into the feeling place of the dream and help them to imagine the thousands of ways it could happen.  Once they let go of the notion that it can only be achieved in one specific way, they find a multitude of possibilities that ignite their passion again.magic

I have found this phase to be one that clients come back to again and again as a means to refuel their vision.  Sometimes everyday life can cause us to forget the amazing possibilities that exist in the world as we focus on the “real world” that comes in the form of bills, responsibilities, family, work, etc.  Sometimes we just need to sit back and remember the magic that is all around us and when we do that, we realize anything is possible, even our dream life.

 

Phase 3: Protect Your Dream– Protecting your dream is probably one of the most important pieces of the process.  Once we are able to identify our dream, feel the possibility and magic in it, it is important to ensure we don’t allow Dream Crushers to cause us to doubt ourselves.  We need to also ensure that even during times when we lose some confidence or aren’t sure where to go that we remember what inspired us in the first place and get back to the magical feeling of our vision.  It is there we find additional inspirational nuggets that will lead us to the next step.  protectdream

Phase 3 is really about building self-confidence, dealing with fear, possible failure, and any other nuance that can cause us to doubt the possibility of making dreams a reality.  During this phase I work with clients to get to the core of the doubt and other self-limiting beliefs that are holding them back and can even provide exercises to use between sessions to keep the Dream Crusher thoughts at bay.

Another important note is that as your vision grows and evolves you may revisit this phase more than once on different subjects/issues, but know that each time you move through it with more courage, confidence, and belief in yourself than you had before.

Phase 4:  Live The Dream: At first glance this phase may seem easy.  Sure you go through each of the other phases doing the “work” and then this is where you finally see the benefit of your work.  That is only partially true.  Yes, this phase is about allowing your dream to transition into reality, but it is an ongoing process.  This is where clients implement their ideas and take inspired action to the next step.  Ideally they have created their vision, aligned with the magical essence of it, dealt with any limiting beliefs, and are now confidently flowing toward a new reality, but that isn’t always how it works.

I am seeing many people moving through this phase as they transition through some of the other phases as well.  For instance, someone who knows what they want may begin taking inspired action and come up against struggles and frustrations that cause them to want to give up or they have allowed the beliefs of others to dictate what they can and can’t achieve.livedream

When I created this loose model, I knew instantly it was not going to be a simple linear equation because life isn’t like that.  Life is a journey of discovery and while it would be nice (sometimes) to simply follow a set map from point A to point B, it wouldn’t be nearly as fun and this process is much the same.  A fun, free-flowing process of discovery and evolution that will ultimately lead to a you living a life you once dreamt.

Do you find yourself falling into one or many of the phases above and want to test the life coaching waters?  If so, I am still offering FREE introductory calls to anyone interested in working with me.  Please feel free to send me an email at lamisha@lifeoncedreamt.com to get set up.  I look forward to working with you!

Filed Under: Coaching, Goals, Life, Planning, Practices Tagged With: coaching, coaching philosophy, dream steps, work with me

Giving Dreams Room To Breathe & Grow

August 22, 2013 by Lamisha

I have seen my fair share of people working hard to have a happy life.  There seems to be a universal campaign for accomplishing goals through back-breaking work, blood, sweat, and tears.  Many of us have grown up with the idea that if we could just do more by working longer or harder than we would finally reach the platform of success.  And while I certainly believe in the benefit of (inspired) action, I feel like something is missing in this formula for a successful life.

People that know me, know that I have always been a doer in life.  I have always focused on doing the next thing and looking for the next step in my dreams and only recently have I been able to understand the importance of non-action, and allowing the space for our dreams to breathe and grow.

Not sure what I mean?  Let me explain.

When we decide we are going to move forward with a new goal, career, or project typically there is some sort of planning phase.  After the planning phase comes the execution.  And since we are so accustomed to instant gratification in our everyday living, we seem to be chomping at the bit to make things happen by working long hours and in some cases spreading ourselves too thin.  The fear of failing has caused us to overcompensate in the action arena to a point that we never allow ourselves (and our dreams) a chance to breathe.

I know I have struggled with this many times in my life where I want instant results for the work I am putting in, but the reality is things take time. 

I have also learned that when I am able to take a step back and stop measuring my progress (or lack thereof in some cases), I find things almost magically happen.  The right people flow into my life effortlessly and the next inspirational nugget appears before my very eyes and each time it happens I am reminded of the importance of allowing my dreams to breathe and grow.

I was reminded of that just a few weeks ago.

Photo from www.MyDreamsMatter.com
Photo from www.MyDreamsMatter.com

While I was having a conversation with a friend about some things I needed/wanted to take care of for my business, I mentioned needing to find someone to design my logo.  I had actually thought about it several times, but wasn’t trying to make anything happen with it as I had other things that I was working on.  About an hour after that conversation I saw a post on FB from a friend of mine that said “Designing a logo!”.  I almost fell out of my chair.  I couldn’t believe it!  I immediately sent my friend a message and inquired about her services and found that not only was it affordable, but she does absolutely amazing work!

Was it just dumb luck?  Or, did I allow enough space and time for things to unfold in the most organic and perfect way for me?

I truly believe that by giving my dreams/needs the space they need to grow and evolve, the resources I need will continue to unfold in the most beautiful of ways.

Not sure it will work for you?  Try it out!

The next time you find yourself forcing something to happen or working long hours trying desperately to make something happen, take a break.  Step back from it and leave it be for a while and open yourself to what you see and hear around you.  Just be easy about it and allow your next inspirational nugget present itself to you.  I promise you it will.

Have you had something like this happen for you recently?  I would love to hear how your dreams are unfolding as you give them room to breathe and grow.  Share your thoughts in the comments below!

 

Filed Under: Being, Coaching, Inspiration, Intention, Practices, Reflection Tagged With: being, dreams unfolding, space to breathe, unfolding

Guidance, Info, and Resources Oh My!

August 14, 2013 by Lamisha

guidanceAs you continue (or begin as it may be) your path to living the life you once dreamt, you may find yourself in need of guidance, information, and resources to help you along the way.  You may need to know more about setting up a blog, html coding, the legalities of business, how to write a book proposal, or any number of things.  The amount of what you don’t know may feel overwhelming, but never fear because there are many people in the world who have been where you are, are willing to share what they know, and even provide it to you for FREE!!

Asking yourself how to get started or continue your path of things you don’t know?

Here are a few tips to get you started:

  • Reach out to your network. You never know how far your network can reach until you ask.  Tell your friends, family, and co-workers what you are working on.  Ask them if they know of anyone that does _______.  Chances are you will find someone who knows someone who knows about what you are working on.  You have the ability to get some wonderful information simply by reaching out to the people you interact with everyday.
  • Find people doing what you want to do and see if you can pick their brain for information.  When I began looking for information about life coaching, I realized my best friend knew not one, but two coaches that were willing to chat with me about what I wanted to do.  I also “cold-called” a coach in the area that I was moving to, to see if she was willing to give me some information about how she got started.  Turns out, there are more people out there willing to help you…all you have to do is ask!
  • Don’t just ask one person.  This has been paramount for me.  The first life coach I contacted for information actually put a little damper on my joy as she expressed her frustration with her work.  While I was glad she was sharing both the up and the down sides to life coaching, I felt she was more discouraging than anything, but I didn’t let that stop me.  I spoke to another coach (who later became a good friend and client), who has been so helpful through the process. If you find a person that you don’t jive with, no worries, find someone else and just ask!
  • The Internet is full of great info.  There is a ton of information available online and while sometimes it can be a little overwhelming, if you follow your gut you will find exactly what you are looking for. You would be surprised how many bloggers, entrepreneurs, coaches, etc. are willing to offer resources on their websites for free.  You can find a ton of great stuff out there including worksheets, meditations, workbooks, guides, and good ‘ole helpful advice without spending a dime!
  • Hire a coach. You knew I was going to add this one right?  While life coaches don’t know everything, I have found that my clients find the right information, people, and resources they need as we move along in our work together with ease.  It seems that the more we talk about their bigger vision, the easier it becomes to manifest the very next step to take and that is the magic of following your inspiration to create the life of your dreams.  (And I’m not just saying to hire a coach because I am a coach, I am saying to think about it because it really is an amazing and fun journey to go from not knowing to knowing exactly what you are meant to do.

I am currently working on my own resources and programming to better serve my clients and could use your help.  I have put together a short survey and would love it if you would take a few minutes to complete it (anonymously of course).  The information you share will help me create the best resources to you in the coming months.  Thank you in advance for your time!

Click here to take survey

Filed Under: Coaching, Goals, Lessons, Planning, Practices Tagged With: finding information, information, resources, survey, tips

15-Minute Magic

August 8, 2013 by Lamisha

Within the last week or two I have implemented a practice that has completely changed my daily life.  It is a “life hack” I heard about many years ago, but never tried, until a few weeks ago.  I applied it to my life in order to create more balance between my full-time job, coaching, writing, and family duties and it has worked wonders.  I soon realized this magical practice can even be applied to accomplishing your dreams, 15-minutes at a time.

If you are like me you probably have a laundry list of things to do (including laundry) and some days you aren’t sure how you can fit it all in, let alone make time for you to focus on the one big thing you really want to create in your life.  You also know that without that time and space, that thing may never manifest.

So how do you do it without locking yourself in a room for hours on end to finally make some headway?

You break it into 15-minute chunks.

I know you are saying that you can’t possibly get anything worthwhile accomplished in 15-minutes, but believe it or not, you can accomplish a lot in 15-minutes if you are totally focused on the task at hand.

Here’s how it works:

  1. Select something from your to-do list that you just haven’t found the time to do.

    image from www.childhood101.com
    image from www.childhood101.com
  2. Set a timer for exactly 15-minutes.
  3. Get to work.
  4. When the timer goes off, stop what you are doing and pat yourself on the back. You have just taken a tiny step toward accomplishing your goals.

Now, at this point if you are really on a roll and you have the time you can reset the timer and go for another 15-minutes and see where that gets you, or you may decide you want to do something else for 15-minutes.  The awesome thing about this practice is you can use it for anything. (If you are a parent, this works wonders with children especially when they have chores to do.)

Do you have some follow-up emails you have been meaning to send?  Some contacts you have been meaning to look up?  Need to research business cards/webpage designers/workshop ideas/need to contact that life coach you have been meaning to hire? Set your timer and go!

You may find some tasks work better with a 30-minute set up and that is ok too.  Feel free to mold this practice into something that works for you and your unique situation.

Using this practice allows you to take little steps toward accomplishing your dreams and the more you do it, the more inspired you become.  Soon you may find yourself setting the timer for much longer simply because you enjoy working on your dreams.  The key is to do a little bit everyday.

When you make your dreams a priority by doing a little each day, you will not only begin to feel better, but you will also see your dreams take shape before your very eyes.  Don’t believe me?  Try it and leave me a message in the comments below on how it worked for you.

Filed Under: Goals, Intention, Life, Practices Tagged With: accomplish dreams, just 15 minutes, progress, small steps

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