Lamisha Serf-Walls

Dreams, Goals, and Bucket List Items

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This evening I took some time to review my list of dreams located on my blog as I wanted to see what still fit and what didn’t.  I also planned on adding a few items that I have been thinking about for a few weeks, and I realized something.  The items I listed on my “Dreams” page weren’t all dreams.  In face I found they fit into one of three categories; Dreams, Goals, or Bucket List Items.  I had never really thought about the difference myself, but tonight I was struck by the various “dreams” I had listed, and realized that each had a different feel to me.  So what is the difference?

Dreams

For me dreams come from a place of passion and desire.  There is a spark and a constant inspiration to achieve these items. For me personally my dreams invoke a sense of service to others in an attempt to touch lives and to inspire, motivate, and create positive change, both with my clients and in the world as a whole.  These are the things I don’t go a day without thinking about.  They are the things you can find me talking about to anyone that will listen.  And though they may take longer to achieve, the fire is still burning bright.  They are things I need to do and in some cases are the very things I feel called to do.  My life purpose if you will.

Goals

Goals on the other hand are more checkpoints or markers on my journey.  These are things that aren’t a necessity in my soul, but are more of an accomplishment.  You might even say these are ego driven in how specific they may be. At some point I may have a goal that sets a specific number of clients in a month or amount of money I want to bring in from writing each month.  My goals are things I want to accomplish and are things I strive for, but they are not things I think about daily.

Bucket List Items

My bucket list items are simply that.  Things I want to do or experience to enhance the fun and adventure in my life.  Things I want to try that I have never tried, places I want to visit etc.  They are things that would enhance my experience in this life and are likely to teach me lessons along the way, but are purely for the experience.

Each of these categories of things, accomplishments, and intentions are slightly different from the other, but they are all areas that are important to me.  And though I may not complete all of the items on every list this year, I am sure that by simply having the list, I will accomplish more than I would otherwise.

Please visit my updated list here, and feel free to share your own dreams, goals, or bucket list items.  I would love to hear about them!

How I’m Building My Life Coaching Dream

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In my last post I talked about my current midnight hustle and how my life coach training may have to be put on hold longer than I originally had planned, however I wanted to give you a little bit of insight into how I am keeping my focus strong on my dream of inspiring and changing lives through coaching.

I decided just before starting this blog, that I wanted to do something now that would  not only support my journey to becoming a life coach, but also keep me inspired, motivated, and focused on my vision.  Since I am very much a do-er, I wanted something that I could do besides sit and daydream about “one day when”.  Over time the list of things I am doing to prepare for my business has grown and I am delighted to share them with you in hopes that you find a bit of inspiration to take action on part of your dreams, even if you have to wait for other pieces to fall into place.

So far here is what I am doing to prepare, plan, and focus on my business:

Research -When I first realized I wanted to be a life coach, I had no idea where to begin, so naturally I enlisted the help of the internet and did as much research as possible.  I wanted to see how other coaches had gotten started, where they studied, and what they were doing.  I even spent some time interviewing people who were in the coaching business.  This piece has been essential and while I did most of my research in the very beginning, I still do a bit here and there as I begin thinking about what I want my business to look like.

Blog – As my excitement grew, I felt like I had to do more than just read about coaching.  I realized I was already coaching friends, family, and co-workers in one way or another, so why not use my writing to reach out and inspire others?  After many months of intentionally planning the focus for my blog, in October 2012 I started writing.  I decided my blog would eventually turn into a portion of my business page and what better way to launch a business than to have readers to launch it to?

Brainstorm – This seems like a no-brainer, but I have spent some time over the last year simply writing down ideas, thoughts, possible business names, and things I would like to offer within my coaching.  In fact, I have a notebook dedicated to my business ideas and the best part about it is I just let my creativity flow.  I don’t limit anything that I write or judge it as good or bad, I simply brainstorm.  Who knows what it might turn into?

Collect Information – A few months ago I started a folder in my email entitled “Business”.  In it I collect newsletters, blogs, advice, and other information that I receive from various websites I subscribe to and my intuition tells me this is going to be very beneficial later.  Much of the advice may not apply to me right now, but it is something I can use in the future.  For instance the last one I received today was from Jess Lively in her “Wish I Knew Wednesday” post about dealing with worry and doubt as it applies to business.  I highly recommend being added to her newsletter if you are thinking of starting or have your own business and want some advice from someone who has been running her own business since she was 15.  And since I didn’t study business in college and am a newbie to being my own boss one day, I will take all the advice I can get.

Learning– One other item I am doing a little bit of is studying other coaches and their methods as well as gaining valuable insight from a free training program a dear friend sent me.  I love learning and the more information and knowledge I have before I actually launch my business, the more confidant I will be.  So I am taking full advantage of any information I stumble upon that may add to my training (even before training), or my business knowledge.

Allowing – I had to add this tidbit of info because while it seems that I am actively planning and building my dream, that isn’t exactly the case.  I am simply allowing things to unfold organically.  Conversations lead to research and research leads to books with tons of information etc.  I am keeping an open mind and following the flow of life.  I know in due time my dream will become real

So in a nutshell that is how I am planning for my business that I have yet to create.  My vision is growing more realistic, vibrant, and exciting everyday and I can’t wait for the day I get to experience it.  The truth is it’s far more than a vision, this is my dream on a journey to becoming reality.

 

Do The (Midnight) Hustle

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Over the last few years I have come in contact with a handful of innovators looking to start (or recently started) their own businesses in various ways.  Some people were following their creative hearts, while others were simply looking for a way to be their own boss and spend more time with their families, but regardless of what these people were doing, one thing was common amongst them, the midnight hustle.

If you don’t know what that is let me explain.  The midnight hustle is the way many new business owners, creators, and innovators make their business dreams a reality.  Let’s face it, not many of us have the riches to simply quit our day jobs to follow our dreams without cultivating and growing our business on the side and by “on the side”, it likely means during the midnight hours when other people are sleeping, hence the name midnight hustle.  And with that midnight hustling often comes late nights, less sleep, hard work, and hopefully amazing inspiration to keep you moving toward your dreams so you can one day quit your day job and enjoy the fruits of your labor doing something that you truly enjoy.  And while I am far from quitting my day job, I am experiencing a bit of my own hustle as I reach beyond my comfort zone into new opportunities and new territory.  It’s exciting and terrifying all at the same time.

I have talked a little bit about my dream of starting my own life coaching business, but the truth is my dream isn’t to start the business per se, it is really to help people through my business.  I thought the path would be fairly straight forward, but I am finding that I may be taking a bit more of the scenic route as opposed to the straight shot as I go with the flow of life.  The programs I have found in the last year haven’t really touched me in the way that makes me think, “Yes this is the ONE!”, so I have been researching various programs in hopes to find the one that best fits my purpose and calling.  I think I have finally found it.  (YAY!) But, with it comes a pretty hefty price tag, one that is about double the price of the last program I was going to settle on.  So, it looks like the actual training may be put off longer than expected, but as you well know I am not one to sit around and do nothing and being the jack of many trades that I am, I am following an equally creative and exciting interest, writing.

The truth is I have always enjoyed writing but I have just recently begun to make some money from it and it is becoming a bit of a midnight hustle for me.  While I only have one regular gig right now, I am learning that the key to having one or many midnight hustles is balance and knowing your limit, both things I am working on right now.  I am very aware of the amount of time I have in my days (and nights) to complete writing projects and am working on a bit of a writing schedule that will allow me to continue to share my journey here on my blog (because I love it so much), and to still complete writing projects in a timely manner.  My hope is that my current midnight hustle will help support the training I need for life coaching and things will seamlessly flow with one another leading to (one day) quitting my day job to do something I love.  But, until that day comes I am going to consciously balance my time to include self-care, meditation, and family because life shouldn’t be all about work, it should be fun too.

Do you have a midnight hustle? If so what is it?

Trusting The Journey

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This time last year I was full of excited energy making plans for the coming year and reading anything I could my hands on that would tell me how to make my new dreams come true. I had set my intentions with affirmations, meditations, and by writing my letter to my future self, but I wanted something that would give me a sure-fire way to make it happen. Well needless to say I spent much of 2012 trying to make things happen only to find that when you let go and simply flow with life, not only is life more enjoyable, but things seem to fall into place. (And yes it took me almost a year to come to that realization, though sometimes I still struggle with the letting go part of it.)

Today I was reminded of something I heard (and read several times last year) from Michael Losier, the self-proclaimed Law of Attraction how-to guy. In explaining how the law of attraction works he mentioned that it isn’t our responsibility to figure out “how” something is going to happen, but instead for us to allow it to unfold by setting our intention, matching the feeling of the thing we wish to create or attract and simply let it go. For a control freak, over analytical, must know how everything will work out worrier like myself-I couldn’t get a handle on the letting go and allowing part. Instead I found myself focusing so intently on the thing I wanted to create, manifest, and/or attract that I was not only missing the present moment, but I was constantly noticing the thing that still wasn’t there yet. I felt like a failure.

The good news is I am getting better and today as I reminded myself to be open and trust that things are unfolding in perfect timing, it hit me. The journey to your dreams is very much the same as the journey to any other destination in life.

Inspirational wallpaper by Jess Lively @JessLively.com
Inspirational wallpaper by Jess Lively @JessLively.com

When we set our intention to go to a particular destination, say to someplace exotic, we may have a loose understanding of how we will get there, but we don’t likely know every detail that we will encounter along the way, nor do we worry too much about it. Instead we trust that with our intention set and ticket in hand, one way or another we will get to our destination even if there are delays along the way. Sure your flight may be delayed, or you may have to take a different road, but more often than not you get there safely and when you take a path other than the one you set for yourself, you may find it was the best way to get there anyway.

The key is to allow the path to unfold as you go and to be open to the signposts along the way. They aren’t always going to be big billboards with flashing lights telling you what to do and where to go, sometimes it comes in the form of a whisper from deep within yourself. Sometimes your signposts are little nuggets of information, words, sayings, pictures, or people you meet that gently guide you to your destination and the more open you are and the more you trust that you will reach your destination, the pieces seem to effortlessly fall into place.

So what about the detours, roadblocks, and other things that slow us down?? Well those are just lessons that keep us growing and evolving. But when you trust your intentions, and your path, there really are no roadblocks, they are simply another way to your dreams.  And as I continue to open myself to where ever my path leads, I will continue to trust the whispers, inklings, and signposts along the way, because no matter what I have planned my way isn’t always the best way.

Unexpected Opportunities For Growth

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Today, the first day of 2013, I had expectations that I would spend day dreaming. I envisioned today would be filled with relaxed moments, reflection, and loose planning for the year ahead. But what I experienced was far from relaxation.

I began my day feeling a bit off kilter. I couldn’t pinpoint what the problem was exactly, but I could tell something felt off. Instead of feeling energized about the newness of the year, I was feeling lethargic and a bit on edge. Throughout the day I found myself reacting rather intensely or over reacting in some cases to seemingly small things. My patience was wearing thin and I realized my frustrations were coming from my lack of flow with the events of the day and my lack of perceived control. And while the aspects of the day that were outside of my “control” are not important, I had a pretty strong epiphany by the end of the day.

As 2012 came to a close I decided to choose a theme for this year that would help me keep my focus this year. Incidentally my theme for this year is to be open and by that I mean open to not only the good things, but the challenges and lessons as well. I realized today that I was not only asking for opportunities to remember to be open but in some ways I had attracted these opportunities to flow and be open to life.

Simply deciding to be open or be more patient doesn’t necessarily mean there is an instant change. In fact, any growth or change takes place over time and lasting change happens when we choose to respond to situations in a different way over and over again. What I soon realized is that the challenges I was having today was simply an opportunity to respond differently. This was the beginning of my year of being open.

I believe when I chose the theme for this year I sent a message to the Universe that I am now ready for opportunities to choose to be open, to choose differently than I have in the past. And while I didn’t expect to have my theme challenged on the first day of the year, I firmly believe it is through these moments I will be able to continue to grow and become better at being open and flowing with life, not only in the good times, but also in the challenging times.