Lamisha Serf-Walls

A Lesson In Working Smarter, Not Harder

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Life has a way of getting pretty busy.  When you have a full-time work, freelance work, and a family to care for losing one hour like we did this weekend can seem like a disaster waiting to happen.  My full-time work is picking up (not by my choice) and my freelance work is also increasing (to my delight), as well as a recent increase in home-improvement tasks for our home is making for a somewhat hectic schedule…until now.

I have always been a list maker and great and delegating tasks, but when it comes to my own work, I can sometimes find myself flailing to keep up.  But I have since decided it is time for me to work smarter and not harder.  The biggest issue I have found recently was trying to figure out what to do with my 8 hrs of “free” time in the mornings each week.  I tried balancing it between home responsibilities and freelance work, however the home responsibilities usually won out.  The writing work would get done on lunch breaks and a few hours before bed making for a very long day and less sleep.  Two things I don’t enjoy all that much.  And since I will be adding other personal writing to my schedule (writing my first children’s book series, in addition to starting a life coaching business down the road, I figured it is best if I learn to manage my time a bit more effectively now, rather than later.

What I did?

I decided what items I needed to keep in my schedule.  One was my lunch break.  I have been having “working” lunches far too much and have missed out on several opportunities to get outside to take a walk which is causing some issue with my exercise routine (because now it is non-existent).  So I am taking my lunch breaks back.  I also found that at night-time after getting the little one to bed, the last thing I want to do is work for an additional 2 hours.  So I am taking that time back as well and allowing myself some added reading time in addition to potentially getting to bed earlier.  So when will I be doing my writing work?  In the morning.

I haven’t always been a morning person, but since my full-time job schedule has changed I have 2 days a week where I don’t begin work until 11 am providing me with an added 3 hours to do other things.  The “other things” have mostly been house related, but I am thinking that time might better be used with writing work especially when I have several projects to finish.  So, I am dedicating my mornings to whatever writing work I have and making it a point not to work on writing projects at night.

Family time, house projects, and other home related tasks will be set for the weekends.  While we do get some family time in the evenings, it isn’t nearly as much as we would like so we try to make the most of it on our weekends.  And since it isn’t fun to work 6-7 days a week, I am using the weekend as a break from writing.  Family is important to me and spending as much time with my partner and our son is something I don’t get to do nearly enough and I am not going to sacrifice that precious time for my work.

So, my new schedule begins this week.  I will provide an update next week to let you know the differences I have found not only in my efficiency, but also my stress levels.  I am optimistic to say the least.  I think this new plan will work out great and I will not only be more focused, but more relaxed and more healthy overall.

What do you do to keep a balanced home/work life?

Resolutions Revisited

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I have to say I can’t believe March is here already.  It seems like not too long ago I was thinking, dreaming, and intending my year ahead full of wonder, magic, and awe.  Ah how quickly the newness subsides and everyday life takes over.  Laundry, work, bills, and life all go on and sometimes our dreams, goals, and resolutions fall quickly to the background.  I suppose that is why many resolutions fall by the wayside never to come about again until next year…that is unless you revisit them.

Last Friday it hit me that we are now entering the third month of the year and my excitement for 2013 had dropped dramatically.  So much that I wasn’t thinking of my dreams all that often and my passion was waning too.  The realization that I was no longer as excited for what is to come as I was in January really got me thinking.  How could I let all of that excitement and fire just fizzle out?  Where did it go?  More importantly, how do I get it back?

I don’t know if there is a set formula to finding your fire again, but this is what I have come up with so far.

  • Remember your resolutions/dreams/intentions.  Revisit the goals you wrote down, the things you told your friends you wanted to do, but most of all FEEL them.  Feel the fire, passion, and desire you had when you set them.  Revisit your resolutions and make friends with them again.
  • Know that each month (and each day) is new and you can recreate the newness whenever you want.  Maybe at the beginning of each month you want to set a mini celebration for what you accomplished the month before and look forward to what is coming in the next month.  Maybe you wan to journal about all the gooey goodness that you had in the month before while setting your intentions for the month ahead.  Whatever you do remember every day, week, and month provides a new start.
  • Bring back the magic.  When the clock struck 12, you were likely filled with a sense of wonder and magic for what was waiting for you in the coming year.  I can’t tell you how many times I heard or read “2013 is my year” only to find that thought is forgotten a few weeks later.  Bring that magical feeling back to life.  Read inspirational quotes, stories, and blogs.  Find someone you admire and ask them what they do to keep the magic and wonder alive.  Embrace positivity and allow it to fill you up each and everyday.  Sounds corny, but it works.

I hope the steps above help you to breathe life into your resolutions and goals and you enjoy not only the things you planned for, but also the delicious surprises that await you.

Now it’s your turn.  What do you do to keep your resolutions alive?  Let me know!

To Do or Not Do…That Is The Question

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Most goal setting techniques involve setting a list of steps and then acting on those steps one at a time.  It makes sense in some cases to do things that way, but that isn’t always the best method I am realizing.  Sometimes it is important to take some time away from “doing” and to allow your previous actions to take shape and to allow the Universe to work some magic.

I recently finished Marlise Karlin’s book The Power of Peace in You and in it she describes igniting the power of stillness and peace within and living from that space to discover a life better than you imagined.  You can read my full review here, but one quote I found that really hit me is one that discusses doing vs not doing as a way to accomplish your dreams.

“Often, the best thing to do is…nothing at all, allowing space for inspiration by leaving a void.  It is here, in this essential non-doing, where you release attachment to the outcome-that the miraculous emerges to show you a different pathway for getting where you want to go.  You can’t tap into the Energy field of inspired solutions or discover the unforeseen if you are always racing to get it done at all costs.” Marlise Karlin in The Power of Peace in You

This quote has proven to provide a profound shift in my thinking regarding attaining my goals and dreams.  I have since moved (albeit slowly) from a place of doing to a place of non-doing in some situations and while it has been somewhat uncomfortable there, I am learning that there is certainly some value in it.  The key for me is knowing when to do and not do.

I suppose like anything in life, this is a matter of balance.  Just like a farmer can’t continuously plant seeds in the same space over and over again and expect his crop to grow overnight, I must learn to be content with letting my own dream crop grow.  Sometimes that means allowing my ideas, creations, and thoughts to ferment before I do anything with them.   For instance, when I started this blog, I went through a long period of thinking, pondering, creating, and allowing the right name, niche, idea to come to me.  And when it finally did, there was no question as to whether I should act or not act.  Maybe that is the key.

Plant your seeds of imagination and plant as many as you come up with, but be patient as you allow them to take shape or die out because the ones that are meant to be will be.  When you provide the space of non-doing, you allow miracles to happen because let’s face it, if you are always trying to do, do, do, the Universe has no time to work on your behalf.  But, if you are like me, you might wonder what you are supposed to do in the time you are not working on your goals.  My answer (one I often need to remember myself)? Have fun.

When you are not actively working on your goals and you are providing a space for them to breathe and grow, do something fun.  Catch up on a hobby you have missed.  Read a good book, get outside in nature, have coffee with a friend.  Life is meant to be enjoyed and if you are working on your goals all the time, no matter how happy they make you, you are likely to burn out.

So what are you doing or not doing right now in regards to your dreams and life goals?

Letter To My Future Self 2013

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I have a confession to make.  I had the best intentions to get this letter completed in the first or second week of the year, but time got away from me.  Life happened both at work and at home and things just got plain busy, however I made a commitment to myself (and to you) that I would write this letter and so I have chosen to share (and write) it here.  There is a part of me that believes it wasn’t pure lack of planning and busyness that caused me to wait, but maybe a deeper knowing in what I wanted to say in the letter had to brew awhile before it was ready.  Well, ready or not, here it is…

Dear Lamisha,

When I look at the woman standing before me I am amazed.  Not only in the confidence you exude, but also the pure peace that emanates from your being.  The woman I knew in 2012 is long gone and a newer, more peaceful and centered woman stands before me, transformed.  I wish I could tell you that this transformation happened overnight, but you know better than that.  This transformation has taken place in much the same way all changes take place.  Step-by-step.  But it all started with your theme of the year.  Do you remember?  To simply be open.  To some it is vague, but for you it was a true lesson and the starting point of this transformation.

You see, by your willingness to be open to what life, the Universe, God, etc. has to offer and letting go of your control where you needed to, you welcomed in a trust you have never known before.  A trust that all is happening in the right time, for the right reasons, and this journey you are on is a wonderful adventure when you are open.  And it can be fun too!

Do you remember what your letter looked like for 2012?  Of course you do, it was cluttered with income amounts, possessions you wanted to have, and specific expectations that the old you wanted too much to control and yet very little on that list came to be and why is that?  Could it be you didn’t let go of the wheel enough to allow things to happen in their own time?  Possibly, or more likely it was all part of your path to get you here.  To the state of peace in allowing life to flow.

Please don’t think that ‘peace’ is your only accomplishment for this year, though it is your greatest, there are many other very exciting opportunities, situations, and adventures that you were open to.  Sure your blog following has grown, your book idea is no longer just an idea, your midnight hustle has developed into a more substantial income, and your life coach dream is taking flight, but even if all of that hadn’t happened and peace is all that was gained this year…it would be enough.  Because within peace lies the space to allow the magic of your dreams to come true.  And though I want to share with you every teeny, tiny, delightful morsel of your best year yet, and to warn you of some potential challenges, I will leave it to you to explore and enjoy.  Just know that as you move, evolve, and grow this year, you are transforming step-by-step into the peacefully grounded woman standing before me.

Enjoy the ride!

Keep Your Dreams Alive

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I can’t tell you how many people I have met in various areas of my life who have told me that in one way or another they had given up on their dream.  Some thought them to be unpractical, while others simply didn’t believe in themselves.  I once was a naysayer about my own abilities and struggle with it still from time to time.  When I set out to do something new my old self would immediately say “I can’t..”  I have learned to ignore that little feeling and move forward through the discomfort of change or growing, and I usually find that I could do it and that my old self was just giving me lip service.  But what about those people who have just gotten caught up in everyday life?

How do you keep your dreams alive?

I can’t tell you for certain how to do it, because I believe we are all very different beings.  Some of us respond to certain things, while others do not, but I can share with you how I do it.  Maybe you will find something that will be useful in your own dream resuscitation.

Visualize

I am one of the best day-dreamers around (ahem don’t tell my boss).  I often think of what it will look like to have my dream become reality.  I think about the type of clients I want to work with, how I want my schedule to be set up, what my business name might be, and even what my business card will look like.  I have fun with it.  I simply paint a mental picture of my dream.  And while I may not always feel the dream when I feel like things are moving slowly, visualizing the end result is usually enough to keep me moving in the right direction and best of all it keeps me believing not only that my dream can become reality, but it will.

Talk About It

Talk about your dreams with the people you care about.  Share what you want to accomplish with friends, family, co-workers even.  Those of you that know me personally have probably heard me talk about life coaching or writing a million times over and are probably tired of hearing about it already (though I hope not) and the best part about that is you all become my cheerleaders.  When you share something like this with people who love and care for you, they become part of your journey.  They are going to talk you off the ledge when you feel like quitting.  They are the ones that will say, “But you want nothing more than to ____”.  They are going to remind you why your dream is your dream to begin with, and they get that info from you!  Share your dreams so you can be reminded of them later.

Multiple Dreams

This one may not be so obvious, but it has been a really great way for me to stay excited about all of my aspirations.  I have a tendency to have laser focus when it comes to something I want to do.  Sounds great right?  Not exactly.  If things don’t go exactly as planned or certain parts of my journey become delayed, I can get pretty down about it.  My mind goes into over drive and the negative chatter takes over.  I seem to only notice what is not going well and it goes downhill from there.  But when I have a few dreams to focus on, I can flow between them and if one seems to be at a standstill for one reason or another, then I can easily change focus to work on something else.  This may not work for everyone as some people prefer to do one thing at a time, but it seems to work for me.

Dream Board

Dream or vision boards are a visual representation of what you want to create.  It can be a collage of words, quotes, pictures, or items that remind you of what you are trying to accomplish.  I created a dream board for 2012 and when I looked back at it, I found that many of the items came to fruition.  I am still planning (read procrastinating) on making a dream board for 2013, however I am still envisioning what I want to accomplish this year.  Keeping to my theme this year, I am trying to be open and flow with life as much as possible, so I want to create my board in a way that allows me to do that.  Once my board is complete, I will hang it in my office where I can see it everyday.  I may not look at all of the items on it everyday, but seeing the board everyday will certainly keep my dreams in the forefront of my mind and keep me excited for what is to come.

So those are the ways I am keeping my dreams alive.  How do you do it?