Lamisha Serf-Walls

It’s Time To Come Clean…

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Vortex-ClarityI seem to be in the remedial school of life these days, learning and re-learning lessons that I thought I had mastered long ago (ok well some of them might be a few months old, but who’s counting?).  Last week I was going through a particularly emotional lesson and now I have reached the sunrise or clarity portion of that lesson.

Here’s what I have learned.

  • I have the POWER to create the life and reality of my dreams.  I believe in that so much that I built a business around this exact idea.  In fact it’s not an idea, but instead a truth.  A truth that applies to you too.  YOU have the power to create whatever it is you want.  You just have to decide what you want, hold the intention, and take inspired action.
  • I may not have the skills and connection that others have, but that does not discount my abilities to do the work I love.  I have unique abilities that allow me to connect to and with the exact people I should be connecting with.  Our differences are beautiful and our gifts are unique.  It’s what makes this world amazing.  And being my true authentic self is the best (and truly the only) way to serve my clients.  This article shares my lesson on being the authentic expert.
  • The intuitive guidance that led me to my business was not wrong and it is the same intuitive guidance that I have been discounting for the past few months.  Sure, there are many things I still need to learn, but if something doesn’t sit right with me intuitively, it’s not for me.  I’m ok with that and you should be too.
  • I am surrounded by amazingly talented women who are doing incredible things in the world.  I support them, uplift them, and celebrate their magnificence and I know that their brilliance has no effect on what I am doing or not doing.  Their success doesn’t cause my demise and vice versa.  We are connected. Period.  And the success of one creates a vortex of power for others.
  • When I am in my power, standing in my truth, and sharing who I really am, I have more of an impact on those around me.  This post is a perfect example of how passion, purpose, and authenticity can come together to create an amazing inspirational energy that can’t be denied.
  • I also know that this very moment with all of its lessons is completely perfect.  I am living the life of my dreams and everyday I am closer to more expansion, creation, and success.  The key to all of that is inspired action.  And the inspiration behind the action comes from intuition.  You have it too, so stand in that power and trust your gut to tell you who to hire, what to do, and where to go.
  • Last but not least, I am uncovering more and more of who I really am which is allowing me to reach more women, inspire change, and support the dreams of others.  This life of mine is amazing! Not because of money, numbers, or crazy success.  Not at all.  It’s amazing because I am doing what I love, making a difference, and learning lessons along the way.

Should you find yourself going through lessons you thought you learned, never fear.  A perfect life is not without lessons.   A ‘perfect’ life is the life you are living right now with lessons, love, connection, dreams, and a lot of growth. 

If you are ready to step into your power to create the amazing life or business of your dreams, now is the time to follow your calling.  I have opened up a few spots for my 1-Month Jump Start program for July 2014 that will get you moving in 30 days or less. 4 sessions in 4 weeks = major progress.  This offer expires June 30th so if you want in on this incredibly affordable and powerful opportunity, you can sign up here.

When Is The Perfect Time???

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How many times do you find yourself waiting, planning, scheming, and trying to get everything just right before you move forward with a big goal?  Something like moving or changing jobs can require a bit of planning in order to do it without a lot of unnecessary stress, but when it comes to your dreams, when is the perfect time to get started?

It has been my experience that there isn’t a specific moment when the clouds part, the sun is shining, and you just know that everything is perfect.  Let’s face it, perfect is word that tends to cause us to procrastinate on the things we want most in life because we want it to be just right.  And my perfect may not be the same as yours and I would bet that your perfect may not even be all that realistic right?

What I am really talking about here is how you know when it’s time to move forward and take that leap you have dreaming of.  For me, it took some visualization, excitement, and inspiration I gained by watching others take that big scary leap.  It was then that I realized the perfect time I was waiting for was just a ploy for me to, well keep dreaming.  In the dream phase my goal was beautiful, exciting, but not quite real.  I mean, I wanted it, but it was more of a figment of my imagination than it was something I could accomplish.  When I put the perfection aside and took the leap, I had more inspiration than I knew what to do with and it seemed that things were coming together by my not waiting for the perfect moment.

How could it be?

How could it all come together in the most organic, unplanned, yet almost magical way?medium_10799618335

It came together because I always had the potential to accomplish my dreams and one day I just decided to take that first step.  I didn’t have to know the whole dance, hell I still don’t know the whole dance, but I’m learning more and more each day.  I guarantee you will too.

You see, that perfect time you are waiting for is now. Today. Or Tomorrow.  Or whenever you choose for it to be.  It’s not about getting specific things lined up so you can take that first step.  It’s about taking the first step and trusting that the rest will fall in line.

It’s about believing in yourself and allowing your path to be guided by the magical intuition you have been gifted with because it will always lead the way if you listen.

Do you hear it now?  What is it saying?

Whether you make today, tomorrow, or next week your “perfect time”, you will be right because you get to choose.  The question is why wait?

Things are getting busier with the holidays creeping up, but if you are ready to take the leap into your dreams I am ready to help you get to where you are going.  Send me an email at lamisha@lifeoncedreamt.com to get more info or to sign up for your free session today. 

photo credit: symphony of love via photopin cc

Accessing The Expert Within

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If I have learned anything this past year, or more accurately in the past month or so, it is the importance of listening to your intuition and making decisions that are right for you.  I have far too often fallen into the trap of wanting to always make the right decision whether it is in my business, family life, or other more mundane tasks like buying the right products.

You see, something you may not know about me is that I was very much a Ms. Goodie Two Shoes when I was younger.  Growing up I would beam with confidence when I received my gold stars for a job well done.  If the teacher was looking for a volunteer, I had my hand raised faster than she could blink.  I aimed to please and I wanted nothing more than to receive an abundance of accolades from the people I looked up to.  It doesn’t sound all that bad right?  I mean after all, I was on honor roll more often than not and I did very well in school.  But the downside to it all is that my delicate confidence depended on what other people thought of me and my decisions.  (Imagine the turmoil that ensued when my mother found out I was not her straight-laced-heterosexual daughter, but instead I was her seemingly-straight-laced-gay daughter….(gasp!))

While I have managed to step out of my comfort zone and do things the non-traditional (sometimes very non-traditional) way, I realized about a month ago that I still had this habit of seeking advice, knowledge, and insight about what I should do because I wanted to do what was right.  I didn’t want to make a mistake.  I wanted to select the perfect logo, find the perfect business name, and set up the perfect website that would draw in clients from every corner of the world.

I wanted everything to be perfect and I wanted everyone to like my new business (and me).

But the problem was that every comment, opinion, thought, and insight created a battle inside me, a battle between my gut/intuition and the oh-so-wise thoughts of someone else.  It was a battle that left me feeling more confused than ever and it wasn’t until I received a series of particularly hurtful comments that I finally realized what the struggle was about.

The struggle inside myself was a struggle against my inner knowing….the expert within.  You see, when you set out to fulfill your life’s calling there is a feeling you get that doesn’t go away.  It’s the feeling you feel when you first figure out what you want to do and the same feeling that keeps you moving forward when things get tough.  It’s the voice that tells you that it’s going to be alright and you will have all the things you need to make it happen.  It’s the resonance you feel when you meet people on your path who are exactly who you needed to meet to move to the next step.

That feeling, that voice, that resonance…is YOU.  medium_10770581383

Over the years, I have tried to live in a way that pleased those I deemed “experts” in life and when I set out on my journey to create a new business, I started moving down a similar path until my inner expert reminded me that I will find my way and know what direction to go because it will simply feel right for me.  It may not be right for everyone and it certainly won’t be the same path someone else took to get there, but it is mine and my inner expert will guide me to where I need to be, and yours will too.

You don’t need someone to map out your plan for you.  You have a wealth of knowledge and wisdom within you that will guide you along the way and you will know you are on your right path because it will feel right…for you.

You may be asking yourself if we all have inner experts then why in the world would we hire a life coach or anyone else to help us???

The truth is sometimes your inner expert will guide you to a life coach or someone else to help you on your path because it’s what you need.  As a coach I never tell my clients what they should or shouldn’t do.  Instead, we discuss the challenges, concerns, and struggles that may be holding them back from moving forward and when they are ready to make a decision, I help them tap into their own inner expert so they know what is right for them.  I also hold them accountable along their journey so that pesky thing we know as fear doesn’t get in the way of their incredible potential.

Whatever decisions you have to make as this year comes to an end don’t question whether it is the right or wrong decision based on someone else’s opinion instead, tap into the expert within and know that he/she will not lead you astray.

You are wiser than you believe yourself to be!

photo credit: symphony of love via photopin cc

The Real Deal…

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When I first set out to create my blog, I had this idea to keep most posts upbeat and positive.  I wanted this to be a place of inspiration, motivation, and information to help people move confidently in the direction of their dreams.  I wanted it to be a space of uplifting posts, quotes, and tips to help readers focus on the positive.  As a life coach, I thought it was my duty to keep things light, bright, and positive all the time.

I was wrong.

What I think makes me good at what I do is the fact that I am human and I struggle with many of the same issues my clients do.  I have bad days full of frustration, doubt, and sometimes fear.  I have had my experience with the Dream Crusher on more than one occasion, and there are days when I need to be reminded that I have the power and ability to live the life of my dreams.

I am not perfect.  Authenticity

I don’t always pounce out of bed with a beaming smile and positive attitude.  Sometimes I try too hard and more often than not, I need to take a step back from the immediate issue and look at the bigger picture.  My life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows.  I often struggle with disappointment and worry as I move through my journey and instead of sharing those moments with you, I have remained silent.

There have been many days when I wanted to share something uplifting, but I simply wasn’t in that state of mind and instead of sharing with you my perspective and how I am learning to deal with various situations, I write nothing at all.  I have allowed my idea of being a super-human up-lifter get in the way of sharing my authentic self with you.  For that I am sorry.

Does it make me any less of a coach to confess that I don’t always have it together?  I don’t think so.  In fact, I think it makes me a more effective coach because I know what it is like to have down moments in life.  We all do.  And while I admit to having my fair share of struggles, I also have a variety of tools that I use to help combat those not-so-positive moments and they are tools that I want to share with you.

The truth is I love what I do.  I love working with people and helping them follow their inspiration to live the life of their dreams, but I don’t want to misrepresent myself in the process.  I am an up-lifter that sometimes needs to be uplifted and I’m ok with that, because isn’t that what life is all about?  It’s not about being perfect, it’s about learning, sharing, and experiencing life as much as possible.  And I have to say, if it wasn’t for the struggles I have (and will) encounter in life, I wouldn’t be able to help my clients deal with their own, because sometimes you have to go through it to understand it.

 

Beta Isn’t So Bad…

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Perfect

When it comes to doing things we are passionate about, many of us strive for optimal perfection.  We work, analyze, plan, and strategically lay out the action steps and pieces that need to come together for our vision to be just right.  As it begins to take shape we may notice areas that need more work, attention, and focus only to find our vision of perfection is always slightly out of reach.  There is always something else that can be added, tweaked, and changed to make it better and if you are like me, you may find yourself pondering how to make it better or frozen as you wait for the perfect idea to make it well, perfect.

I found myself in the perfectionist conundrum over the last few weeks as I began over thinking the necessary pieces that need to fall into place in order to have the perfect launch for my business.  In my mind I had to have what many other coaches offered on their websites in order to do it the right way and to be successful and while I knew that comparing my business vision with others was a sure-fire way to lose my confidence, I still felt like certain pieces had to be just right before I could move forward.

I realized I was very wrong.

As I was reading this weekend, I stumbled across an idea that was exactly what I needed to read at that moment.  In a book called The Gift of Adversity by Norman E. Rosenthal, M.D., I read a chapter that focused on the idea of perfection.  According to Rosenthal, most things don’t have to be perfect to do what you want them to do.  For instance, many companies will knowingly release a product that still has some bugs to be worked out as long as the bugs don’t compromise the integrity of the product known as a beta version.  The beta version is somewhat of a tester that can be improved along the way.  That is why we have so many versions of apps, phones, and computers.  No matter what product you have purchased it is likely a work in progress since developers are always working on the next best thing.

You may be asking yourself how this applies to your dreams and my business vision.

Well, here’s how I see it.  My business (and ultimately your dreams, goals, and aspirations) are always in transition.  Life is nothing but a constant change of events and circumstances, so nothing ever remains the same.  With that said, as I create my business intentions, services, and products I now realize whatever I create will not be what I offer for the entire life of my business.  Just as I will continue to evolve as a person, so will my ideas, creations, and my business.

So, if what I begin with isn’t exactly perfect, that’s ok.  I am sure there will be some mistakes and lessons along the way, but I will also learn a lot as my business progresses and I will likely learn many lessons I couldn’t learn if I wasn’t simply taking the leap.  In fact, I have always been far better at on the job training that pre-training with the expectation that I just know it all.  So, why should this be any different?

It shouldn’t.

I would venture a guess you too have struggled with your own progression toward your dreams/goals because you feel not ready enough.  Maybe you feel like you need more classes, more training, more knowledge, or more life experience.  Well I am here to tell you that’s not true.  You will learn far more by moving toward your goals than you will sitting back and planning them.  If you are inspired to do something, do it whether it feels perfect or not.

Beta versions aren’t all that bad, because when you think about it, aren’t we all just beta versions growing, learning, and evolving all the time?