Lamisha Serf-Walls

Finding Balance

by

As a child you probably had no problem answering the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Chances are you didn’t even begin to think about whether it was realistic, because as a child, everything is realistic.  Life is magical and if you can imagine it, it can happen.

Sadly we grow up and society places limitations on what we deem realistic and we lose a bit of that spark of imagination we had as a child.  The magical essence of life is gone and for some it never returns.  Those that lose the sense of magic in life, tend to live and make decisions in very practical ways.  They may make life decisions in ways that make sense and very rarely think and live outside the box.

I have two very distinct sides of myself that at times fight for control over situations and decisions in my life.  One side is the creative dreamer that enjoys creating, writing, choreographing and doing anything that allows me to stretch outside the box.  The other side is logical, practical and a planner.  She sets a plan and executes accordingly.  This side is also quite controlling and when things don’t fall into place the way I thought they should…well let’s say it isn’t a pretty sight.

It would seem that having a combination of these two sides would provide a nice balance, but to be honest it doesn’t.  When I begin to think of all the wonderful things I want to do in my life, my realistic/logical side often kicks in and begins asking “how”.  How will you start a business, when you don’t know anything about business?  What are the steps?  When do we start?  How long will it take?  The list of questions goes on and at some point I begin questioning whether I can do it or not.  My self-talk takes a very negative turn and fear kicks into full throttle.  It goes downhill from there.

During these times I find my logical/realistic side fueling my limiting beliefs, the very beliefs I need to release in order to make my dreams a reality.

There are other times when my imaginative side is in control and I am floating on the belief that anything is possible.   During these times I truly believe that all of the unknown pieces will fall into place if I am patient, believe in myself, and keep my mind open to the many possibilities of how my dreams can come true.  These thoughts often lead to more complacency than action.

What I have found is that neither side will benefit me if used exclusively and yet I am at a loss as to how I can combine the two to work together.  How can I dream a magical dream, yet set some action steps that will allow me to make progress as I go?  I’m afraid there is no formula that will work for me and as with anything in life it will take a bit of trial and error.

Yet again I am presented with an opportunity to learn.

I now have the opportunity to practice patience as I figure everything out.  By allowing myself to not have all the answers, I am relieving a lot of pressure I have had on myself for the past few years.  Additionally, I am giving myself the space to learn how to release the fear and uncertainty that comes with my dreams and as I shed each layer, I become more open to life and possibility.  By allowing my dreams to unfold organically, I can believe in the magic again without feeling like I always have to control how my dreams come true.  I am reminded that while I may have a plan in place, the Universe may have a better way and if my focus resides on my one and only plan, I am stifling the very thing that I love so much…my creativity.

The key?  Believing that anything is possible (no matter what you want to accomplish), setting a loose plan, and being flexible about how your dreams meet reality. Sounds easier than it is, but with a little practice anything is possible.

3rd times a charm

by

Many of you probably do not know this, but this isn’t my first blog.  I have had two other blogs in the past that were not successful and didn’t last very long.  I will not bore you with the details or links because they weren’t very good.  The first blog was created on a whim, with little thought, no planning, and simply an urge to write.  The topic?  My dog.  As sweet and crazy as she can be sometimes, I soon realized there was only so much I could write about her, none of which was terribly exciting or helpful to the average reader.  My dog blog lasted all of a month, tops.
The second attempt was a little less than a year later.  The topic? Good stuff, inspirational quotes, musings etc.  This blog had a bit more vision, a lot more passion, but again not much planning.  With this blog I was able to write almost everyday, stay inspired, but something was missing.  I couldn’t quite put my finger on it and so the good stuff blog retired.

You may be asking yourself why I would try yet again?  Well the truth is my passion to write and the desire to blog has never really left me.  I also had a desire to use my blog as a starting point for my bigger vision of being a life coach.  I thought this would be a wonderful platform to reach out to people who are interested in making their dreams reality and they would hopefully find some inspiration from me sharing my journey.  I knew that if I was going to start another blog, I had to set some serious intentions and stick with them.

What I did…

I took some time to brainstorm.  My first step was to define what I wanted to write about.  I didn’t want a topic so exclusive that I couldn’t branch out and utilize every morsel of my creativity, but I wanted it to be something uniquely my own.  I wanted my blog to evolve over time into something my coaching clients could read and enjoy as well.  Once I had that figured out I had to decide on a name.

Naming my blog was like naming a child…sort of.  I wanted something that was descriptive, unique, catchy and something that didn’t already exist on this particular platform.  I started a list and jotted names down as I thought of them, occasionally checking them out on WordPress to see if they were available.  Many of them didn’t resonate with me or give me the warm fuzzies, so I kept searching.  Finding just the right name was harder than I thought, but I was dedicated to waiting it out until I found the right one.  This process took many weeks, so many in fact I lost count.  Then it happened…last week.

The name came out of nowhere…literally.  I was on the phone at work and the words “Life Once Dreamt” popped into my head.  I knew that was the one and I knew I had to hurry and write it down or else it may be gone forever.  After quickly jotting it down I was lucky enough to find that it was available and it fit perfectly with a tag line I had written weeks ago (where dreams meet reality).  It was then that I knew that this time would be different.

Clearly a name is not all that defines a blog and I still have quite a bit of work ahead of me, but it’s a start.  And for me a very good one.  Not only did I learn from my previous experience, but I was also able to remain patient to allow the right name to come to me before making the same mistake again and potentially laying another poorly planned blog to rest.

So there you have it, one dream becoming reality right before your eyes.

I would love to hear about what dreams have materialized for you and how many tries it took.  Feel free to share!

 

 

It Takes Practice

by

All my life I have known that one major life lesson I need to learn in order to be successful and happy, is patience.  I’m not talking, stuck in traffic, standing in long lines kind of patience, but rather patience for allowing things to fall into place in life.  I find myself dreaming big, bold, beautifully extravagant dreams, filling my soul with excitement and then almost immediately tapping my foot with impatience because I want it now.

Over the years I have learned that instant gratification isn’t always best, and many times patience gives space for proper planning and execution, especially when it involves financial risks, business decisions, or putting yourself in the best situation to succeed.  Beyond that I know (much to my chagrin) that to do things right it takes time.

I know, I know…Rome wasn’t built in a day, human beings have a gestation period of 9 months etc., but when I have these big ideas and my creativity is flowing, I feel the need to act, and act now.  But try as I might to make things happen, they don’t always and I often find myself feeling stuck and discouraged, wondering why/how/when will it all work out???

I have found my impatience tends to bleed over into my personal life as well.  I found recently it has come when my main focus is on a future event or moment as opposed to being fully mindful of what I am doing in the now.  Not only am I not being effective in the moment, but I am no closer to the future because all I have is now.  If I am constantly worried with the future, how can I ever tend to the moment and give it all that it deserves in order to make it to the future?

Eureka!

Every moment I see my dreams as yet to be attained instead of being in the process of being achieved, I am discrediting everything I am doing now.  I am losing precious time right now.  Time that allows me to experience this wonderful adventure that helps me to grow and evolve into a better me, and who knows maybe a better end result for my dreams.

So the next time I wonder how I can be more patient, I will remember this… Patience takes practice and in my case…lots of it!