Lamisha Serf-Walls

Gratitude: Magic & Mayhem

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This week has been a bit crazy and it seems that it may continue for a few weeks, so when deciding what to write about in today’s post it took me a little bit to decide on my two items.  After some reflection on the week and looking forward to the weekend, finally decided on magic and mayhem

There is always a lot of hustle and bustle around the holidays for my family.  Since we live so far away, we have to plan our shopping early and make sure to wrap and package our gifts to get them mailed off in time.  At the moment my living room looks like Santa’s workshop exploded with the many gifts, and piles of items to be mailed.  With that said I was reminded of the magical essence this time of year brings with the decorations, sweet-smelling treats, and the tale of Santa and his reindeer delivering wonderful things to families around the world.  I am reminded of the general good-will feeling that comes with the holidays and for that I am grateful.  I am grateful to be able to share in the magic with my son as his imagination grows especially during this time of year.  In spite of all the manic hustle and bustle that has gone on this week, I am comforted by the magic.

In addition to magic, I am surprisingly grateful for the mayhem that has taken place the last few days.  Without it, I wouldn’t learn lessons of patience and faith.  Without it, I might miss the appreciation and peace that comes when the mayhem has subsided.  In a weird, twisted, maybe confusing way, I am blessed by the mayhem because it keeps me on my toes and makes me stronger for next time.

May you all find a little bit of magic in the midst of whatever mayhem you maybe experiencing, but most of all enjoy your weekend.

Expect The Unexpected

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Whenever I have heard the phrase “Expect the Unexpected”, it has always been in a negative way, meaning always be prepared for the worst.  For many years I lived waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop and when things in life got too good, I became leery.  Looking around every corner for the disaster to hit and by golly each time I looked for it, it showed up!  Lately, I have begun thinking of the unexpected as gifts of wonder, beauty, and generally more positive opportunities and experiences.

 

Today, “Expect the Unexpected” leaves me wondering what wonderful blessings are lurking around the corner and it gets me excited about life.  What a great feeling that is!

My transition from expecting negative to expecting positive didn’t happen overnight.  It was a gradual progression that happened over many years.  It actually came because I realized that every time I started expecting a disaster, one would appear, yet on the off-chance I was excited about life and excited for a new opportunity to reveal itself, an opportunity would also pop up.  After years of trial and error (unbeknownst to me), I realized what I expect, I get (to some degree).

Over the last month, I have been opening my eyes and my heart to whatever opportunities may come.  I have thought this thought even in times of uncertainty, and decided that whatever happens I will accept the opportunity and be open to it.  I will accept it with open arms and be grateful for I know there is a reason for it in my life right now, even if I don’t know the why.  Last week I wrote about getting over my self-doubt and moving from psyching myself out, to psyching myself up about a potential writing opportunity and at that point I decided I was going to do my best and if it worked out I would be grateful, and if it didn’t, I would still be grateful yet remain open for whatever new opportunities may come.  What I didn’t know was how quickly that opportunity would appear.  While I am still waiting to hear back from the first writing opportunity, I am currently working on another one!

Life never ceases to amaze me.

If you know me, you know that when I get my heart set on something it is often hard for me to let it go and I often find myself disappointed when it doesn’t work out as I had envisioned it to be, but this time I tried something different.  I decided that I am going to be open to what comes and let go of my control a bit more and have faith.  Faith that I am on the right path that will lead me to my dreams.  Trust in myself and confidence in my gifts.  And with a grateful heart and an open mind, I am sure to have many more wonderful opportunities come about.  That is not to say I should become complacent because we all know that action is part of making your dreams a reality.  But instead of dreaming and then worrying about the how, when, why, etc., I am going to dream and allow it to fly.  I am going to do what I can, and then trust that if it is meant to be, it will be.

I am learning that sometimes when the other shoe drops it’s a good thing. Sometimes it is exactly what you needed, and that proverbial shoe just might be a piece of your dream puzzle.  So be open and expect the unexpected and when the unexpected comes, no matter what form it may be, be grateful, for you never know where it may lead.

Make Room For Your Dreams

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I read a post last night from a friend regarding her experience of the “stuff” that is weighing her down and her intentions of letting it go.  It reminded me of something I have been thinking about for a few weeks now, as I have been making attempts to also clear out the old, to make room for the new (whatever that entails).

Have you ever heard the saying that when you open your hand to let go, it is also open to receive?  It can also be said that you must first let go of a little bit of your control to allow your dreams to manifest.  I think the same goes for making space, both literally and mentally, for your dreams to come true.  We often forget that in order to bring something new into our lives, we have to let go of the things that no longer serve us, be it behaviors, beliefs, or tangible objects that are blocking our ability to receive the resources we need to move forward.  Sometimes those beliefs, objects, or behaviors are all that we know and letting go of what we have always known for something that we can’t yet see is a scary venture.  I know, I have been there before.

The truth is our dreams are not guaranteed, but then again you could say that about anything in life.  The best we can do is have faith in ourselves and trust that we are not traveling this path by chance.  We are instead making a choice to live a life full of experiences, adventure and fulfilling our deepest desires and many times we must be willing to walk into the unknown to do it and sometimes that means letting go of the things that no longer serve your current reality to make room for the life you dream of.

I have always been much better at letting go of physical things than I am with letting go of my control (or perceived control as it may be).  I often find myself at the end of each season looking into my closet and donating items that no longer fit or things I haven’t worn in over a year.  I would much rather have the added space than the item I won’t use again.  When it comes to letting go of my expectations of myself or the beliefs I hold true about how my dreams should manifest, I am a bit more reluctant to let go.  Maybe it is because I am such a planner and when I get set on one plan, I begin to limit other possibilities.  Recently I have been thinking of what “stuff” I might need to let go of in order to receive the flow of energy, resources, and other contacts I need in order to make my dreams come true.

How can I make room for my dreams?

The first thing that comes to mind is time.  I hear people talking (myself included) about the lack of time they have, when really it is more about how you allocate your time.  Do you spend it doing things that will help benefit your dreams and goals or do you use it doing things that you feel you have to do?  Why not free up some time to do the things that will bring you closer to your dreams, no matter what it is?  For me this includes writing almost everyday.  I could become a much better writer if I committed to writing a little bit everyday and I could make the time if I got up only 30 minutes earlier each day.

Another thing I could do is clear out the belief that my dreams have to manifest based on the exact plan I have come up with.  My plan stems from what I believe is most feasible and realistic in achieving my dreams.  It is how I have come to know the world and my own abilities within it.  I know that by doing this I am not allowing the other innumerable possibilities to be an option.  My focus is so set on how I want it to happen, that I am quite possibly missing signs that could lead me in a direction I haven’t thought about.  I am by no means an expert in all the wonderful possibilities that my dreams could manifest, so how can I believe that there is only one way to do it?

I can’t.

I must be able to let go of the notion that I have it all planned out.  Sometimes, (actually most times) I don’t have the only way to do something and I frequently don’t even know the best way to do things.  When I let go of the idea that there is only one way to create my dreams, many more options present themselves.  The key is letting go and having faith that my dreams will come to fruition even if it isn’t the way I thought it would.  If I continue to believe in myself and my abilities and open my hands to release a bit of my control, my energy is then free to flow to the other possibilities that come my way.

So how can you make room for your dreams?  Do your dreams require you to pare down your belongings so you can travel the world for a year?  Maybe you want to start that business you have always wanted, but it means you have to free up some time, money, and space for that business to come alive.  Whatever dreams you have, what can you do to make room for them?

Success Redefined

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I have made it just past a month since starting this blog (woohoo!) and I am very proud.  Not only have I stuck with my writing every week day, but I have also managed to keep my creativity flowing and I have found that I am never lacking in material or ideas.  Success!!

Or is it?

When I started using WordPress as a platform for my blog, I was (and still am) very excited about how easy it is to use.  For a newbie like myself it was easy to set up and start blogging, and while there are still many things to learn, I feel confident with what I post each day.  In addition to the easy set up, I found (rather quickly) there is some great statistical information you can get in one click of your mouse.  Information about how many people viewed your posted, what country they are from, the number of “likes” for each post, and how many followers you have.  And being the numbers gal that I am, sometimes I find myself obsessing about the numbers.  How many views do I have today?  How many “likes” do I have?  Any new followers?

Crazy right?

I know I just started this magnificently creative, and courageous journey and though I keep telling myself that “every new blog takes time to grow”, I feel a little disappointed in the numbers.  If one of my posts doesn’t have many likes or views, I am starting to wonder about my content.  Is it boring?  Did I post too late or too early?  Should I have certain topics on certain days? Questions that are taking my focus away from my flow of creativity and joy in my writing.  And since I started this blog for two reasons, (to inspire, empower, and motivate others to achieve their dreams as well as to have a creative outlet for my thoughts), I realized that getting the most likes or followers on my blog is not as important and should not be my main focus.

Easy to say, not as easy to do.

So I am redefining success as it pertains to my blog.  Creating a blog and sticking with it was one of my dreams and here I am blogging about it.  I am enjoying the creativity, thoughts, and muses that come about in my daily life because of my blog and am happy to share with others in hopes that as they venture towards their goals, they will know that they are not alone in their journey.  I am enjoying the journey, the connection with other bloggers, and my own space to share my thoughts, visions, words, etc.  I’d say that is a success, a mini success maybe, but a success none the less.  And as my blog continues to grow (and it will), my definition of success may also change.  One day, I might set a goal for a certain number of followers/likes/blog awards etc., but I’m not there yet.  As for today, I am enjoying the process of creating something that matters to me.  And while I will still check out the numbers and statistics (because I’m curious), I will not allow my confidence to waver if I don’t have as much traffic, or “likes”, because while they are great, they are not the reason I am on this journey.  Those things do not define me as a blogger, writer, creator or person, but in time as I continue to make progress in my writing and blogging, those things will grow naturally.  It just takes time and patience. 

That is the great thing about goals.  When you create your dreams or goals, you get to decide what is successful and what isn’t.  For instance, if you are looking to lose a certain amount of weight, you are bound to have a bunch of little successes along the way and it is important to celebrate them as you go.  It builds the momentum and positive energy you will need to stay the course and reach your ultimate goal.  Same thing goes for any goal really.  If you are starting a business, celebrate when you decide on the name of that business.  Celebrate when you find the space for that business.  Celebrate when you have 2 clients, or when you have 10.

The main thing to remember is to celebrate the journey because it is there that you will find many little successes that once built upon, create the life you once dreamt.

Think about it.  How do you define success as it pertains to your most current dream?  I would love to know.

Ease Into It

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The other day I set an intention to get my fitness and meditation practices back on track, and yesterday was my first day back.  I was happy to find nice weather outside as I began my extended walk/jog on my lunch break and that optimistic feeling might have caused me to over-estimate my current fitness level.

As I began I warmed up a bit by walking and with the sun shining down on me boy was I feeling good. I felt so good that I broke out into a jog, thinking I could at least jog half of the total distance.  I was wrong.  I found very quickly that I am much more out of shape than I thought and realized I should probably walk before I run.  And as you may already know  patience is not my forte, and sometimes I have a difficult time easing into things.  As I huffed and puffed, I decided to listen to my body and walk the remainder of the distance, but instead of berating myself and judging my lack of progress, I used it as an opportunity to really enjoy my surroundings.  It turned out to be a very lovely walk, leaving me feeling energetic and focused for the rest of my day, a sure sign that exercise and fresh air does wonders for the mind and body.  I also realized that had I not listened to my body, I would have felt very differently about my new fitness regime and over the course of the day I kept thinking…you have to ease into it.

That thought stuck with me because while it applies to my health and fitness plans, it also relates to my dreams as well.  I often find myself passionate and excited about a new project or idea and I want to dive in head first and I have found that if I do the unfortunate result is burn out.  (My two previous attempts at blogging is a great example.)  And while my passion and drive may never cease (at least I hope it doesn’t), I am reminded that in order for my dreams and goals to last, I have to ease into them.

What does that mean?

In regards to my life coaching career it means allowing myself the space to learn along the way, to plan for unforeseen challenges, and enjoy the ride.  There’s a concept I often forget…enjoying the ride.  I have often been so focused (and frustrated) on getting there, that I have found myself dismissing my little victories along the way and forgetting that the journey is really the best part.  And though I will be extremely proud, excited, and feeling over the moon once my business really takes off, I will feel that way because of all the things I did to get there.  The planning, writing, saving, creating, and all the other wonderful things that go into building a business are all things I want to truly experience and if I were to jump in head first, I might miss everything it takes to get there.

I don’t want to miss that.

I want to take it one step at a time (did I just say that?) in order to not only do it the right way, but the right way for me.  It may not be the way everyone else would do it, but then again I am not everyone else.  I am me.  I am passionate about helping people.  I am creative and I am absolutely in love with the idea of helping people achieve their own dreams and as I learn what it takes to achieve mine, I will be that much better at helping someone else.  Those are the things that excite me and allow me to take a step back and say “I will do this”.

So I have decided that while my passion is what fuels my ideas, creations, and my life, it’s something I want to last and so I will be patient.  I will enjoy the journey as it unfolds, be present in each experience, and keep my vision alive, both for my dream of being a life coach, and my intention of getting my health back on track.  But above all else, I am learning more and more, that life is a wonderful journey, and if you can’t enjoy the journey, the destination won’t mean all that much anyways.