Lamisha Serf-Walls

Following The Signs To Clarity

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I have talked a little bit about synchronicities and following the signposts of life as you venture down your given path. I have often found these signs in books, quotes, a newsletter, or sometimes even songs where a specific topic or set of words just jump out at me and make me think “Aha!”. Well today was one of those days and boy did I have some things jumping out at me.

Over the last few weeks I have been having an internal struggle about what I believe my truth to be. By truth I mean, where I am going, what I am doing, and how my spirituality and belief system is made up (both about myself and the world/society as a whole). I haven’t ever questioned my truth or my spirituality, and don’t particularly find myself questioning it now, but rather wondering how my truth fits into what others believe etc. In the midst of the fog and somewhat confusion I was feeling, I could hear my internal dialogue asking for clarity. I wasn’t looking for it in any given form, nor did I expect it to come about the way it did, but what I found was a series of synchronicities that kept coming about throughout the day. It was as if the Universe/God/Powers that be, was giving me the clarity I was seeking. Simply put, it was amazing.

I’d like to tell you what it was that set these moments of clarity in motion, but I don’t have a formula. I started my day feeling a bit uneasy and since I am committed to my 100 day meditation challenge, I thought what better way to handle such feelings than to be still and quiet my thoughts. Afterwards, I felt a little better, but couldn’t shake this feeling that left me off balance. So instead of trying to push it away, I sat with it. Moving through my morning the way I would normally and allowing the feelings, uneasiness, and day to progress as it should. That is when I stumbled upon a post from one of my favorite blogs the Journey Through The Chrysalis. I found her words lighten my mood and bring a bit of clarity to what I was feeling. I began to feel better and as I did the signs just kept coming.

Almost immediately after reading that post, I saw a status update on FB and an article posted almost simultaneously, providing even more clarity to my particular situation. And it didn’t stop there. Over the course of the day, I had read, heard, and seen several other articles, videos, and blog posts that were either dealing with this particular issue, or reminding me to be open, something I had forgotten over the last few days. Once I reminded myself of my theme for the year, I relaxed. The uneasiness subsided, the chaotic thoughts in my mind calmed down, and I was still. It was then that I allowed myself to let go of this picture I had painted in my mind as a struggle and looked at it from a different view. It is no longer a struggle, it is simply a way for me to grow, both in my own spirituality, but also in how I deal with everything I see as a struggle.

What looks like a struggle from one view, can be very different when you step out of it for a moment and be still, something I was reminded of in my own meditation as well as from Candy Coated Reality (this post is great). Sometimes you even have to get quiet and just listen and if you don’t hear something right away, give it some time and be open to whatever comes your way, you never know where your guidance may show up.

How I’m Building My Life Coaching Dream

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In my last post I talked about my current midnight hustle and how my life coach training may have to be put on hold longer than I originally had planned, however I wanted to give you a little bit of insight into how I am keeping my focus strong on my dream of inspiring and changing lives through coaching.

I decided just before starting this blog, that I wanted to do something now that would  not only support my journey to becoming a life coach, but also keep me inspired, motivated, and focused on my vision.  Since I am very much a do-er, I wanted something that I could do besides sit and daydream about “one day when”.  Over time the list of things I am doing to prepare for my business has grown and I am delighted to share them with you in hopes that you find a bit of inspiration to take action on part of your dreams, even if you have to wait for other pieces to fall into place.

So far here is what I am doing to prepare, plan, and focus on my business:

Research -When I first realized I wanted to be a life coach, I had no idea where to begin, so naturally I enlisted the help of the internet and did as much research as possible.  I wanted to see how other coaches had gotten started, where they studied, and what they were doing.  I even spent some time interviewing people who were in the coaching business.  This piece has been essential and while I did most of my research in the very beginning, I still do a bit here and there as I begin thinking about what I want my business to look like.

Blog – As my excitement grew, I felt like I had to do more than just read about coaching.  I realized I was already coaching friends, family, and co-workers in one way or another, so why not use my writing to reach out and inspire others?  After many months of intentionally planning the focus for my blog, in October 2012 I started writing.  I decided my blog would eventually turn into a portion of my business page and what better way to launch a business than to have readers to launch it to?

Brainstorm – This seems like a no-brainer, but I have spent some time over the last year simply writing down ideas, thoughts, possible business names, and things I would like to offer within my coaching.  In fact, I have a notebook dedicated to my business ideas and the best part about it is I just let my creativity flow.  I don’t limit anything that I write or judge it as good or bad, I simply brainstorm.  Who knows what it might turn into?

Collect Information – A few months ago I started a folder in my email entitled “Business”.  In it I collect newsletters, blogs, advice, and other information that I receive from various websites I subscribe to and my intuition tells me this is going to be very beneficial later.  Much of the advice may not apply to me right now, but it is something I can use in the future.  For instance the last one I received today was from Jess Lively in her “Wish I Knew Wednesday” post about dealing with worry and doubt as it applies to business.  I highly recommend being added to her newsletter if you are thinking of starting or have your own business and want some advice from someone who has been running her own business since she was 15.  And since I didn’t study business in college and am a newbie to being my own boss one day, I will take all the advice I can get.

Learning– One other item I am doing a little bit of is studying other coaches and their methods as well as gaining valuable insight from a free training program a dear friend sent me.  I love learning and the more information and knowledge I have before I actually launch my business, the more confidant I will be.  So I am taking full advantage of any information I stumble upon that may add to my training (even before training), or my business knowledge.

Allowing – I had to add this tidbit of info because while it seems that I am actively planning and building my dream, that isn’t exactly the case.  I am simply allowing things to unfold organically.  Conversations lead to research and research leads to books with tons of information etc.  I am keeping an open mind and following the flow of life.  I know in due time my dream will become real

So in a nutshell that is how I am planning for my business that I have yet to create.  My vision is growing more realistic, vibrant, and exciting everyday and I can’t wait for the day I get to experience it.  The truth is it’s far more than a vision, this is my dream on a journey to becoming reality.

 

Trusting The Journey

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This time last year I was full of excited energy making plans for the coming year and reading anything I could my hands on that would tell me how to make my new dreams come true. I had set my intentions with affirmations, meditations, and by writing my letter to my future self, but I wanted something that would give me a sure-fire way to make it happen. Well needless to say I spent much of 2012 trying to make things happen only to find that when you let go and simply flow with life, not only is life more enjoyable, but things seem to fall into place. (And yes it took me almost a year to come to that realization, though sometimes I still struggle with the letting go part of it.)

Today I was reminded of something I heard (and read several times last year) from Michael Losier, the self-proclaimed Law of Attraction how-to guy. In explaining how the law of attraction works he mentioned that it isn’t our responsibility to figure out “how” something is going to happen, but instead for us to allow it to unfold by setting our intention, matching the feeling of the thing we wish to create or attract and simply let it go. For a control freak, over analytical, must know how everything will work out worrier like myself-I couldn’t get a handle on the letting go and allowing part. Instead I found myself focusing so intently on the thing I wanted to create, manifest, and/or attract that I was not only missing the present moment, but I was constantly noticing the thing that still wasn’t there yet. I felt like a failure.

The good news is I am getting better and today as I reminded myself to be open and trust that things are unfolding in perfect timing, it hit me. The journey to your dreams is very much the same as the journey to any other destination in life.

Inspirational wallpaper by Jess Lively @JessLively.com
Inspirational wallpaper by Jess Lively @JessLively.com

When we set our intention to go to a particular destination, say to someplace exotic, we may have a loose understanding of how we will get there, but we don’t likely know every detail that we will encounter along the way, nor do we worry too much about it. Instead we trust that with our intention set and ticket in hand, one way or another we will get to our destination even if there are delays along the way. Sure your flight may be delayed, or you may have to take a different road, but more often than not you get there safely and when you take a path other than the one you set for yourself, you may find it was the best way to get there anyway.

The key is to allow the path to unfold as you go and to be open to the signposts along the way. They aren’t always going to be big billboards with flashing lights telling you what to do and where to go, sometimes it comes in the form of a whisper from deep within yourself. Sometimes your signposts are little nuggets of information, words, sayings, pictures, or people you meet that gently guide you to your destination and the more open you are and the more you trust that you will reach your destination, the pieces seem to effortlessly fall into place.

So what about the detours, roadblocks, and other things that slow us down?? Well those are just lessons that keep us growing and evolving. But when you trust your intentions, and your path, there really are no roadblocks, they are simply another way to your dreams.  And as I continue to open myself to where ever my path leads, I will continue to trust the whispers, inklings, and signposts along the way, because no matter what I have planned my way isn’t always the best way.

Gratitude: Reflection and New Beginnings

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This week I spent a lot of time in a hotel room with a rambunctious 2-year-old and in between chasing him around and trying to keep him entertained, I spent some time reflecting on this past year and thinking of the new year ahead.  This week I am grateful for reflection and new beginnings.

At the end of each year I tend to think back to the past 12 months and reflect on how far I have come.  I like to think about the challenges I have made it through and my accomplishments.  This past year has been one of many ups and downs, yet as the year is coming to a close I have found most of my growth has occurred in the last 2 months or so.  I don’t know exactly why that is, but I am glad that I have grown and changed this past year the way I have.  I have found that I am more patient with changes in everyday life and am more open to the flow of life, both very important areas of growth for me personally.  All in all it has made for a more peaceful end to the year and takes me to my next gratitude item.

At the end of each year after I reflect on the past year, I also look forward to the year ahead.  I like to think about the things I want to change and new goals for the year ahead.  I like to dream and dream big.  Last year I decided to put together a dream board for 2012.  I put together pictures and words that I looked at everyday in an attempt to fit my year together like a puzzle.  Things I wanted more of in my life, accomplishments I wanted to achieve, and even more general items were depicted on my dream board and I can honestly say it gave me a lot of motivation for the year ahead.  I haven’t decided how I will dream big for 2013 and whether I will make another dream board or not, but I will definitely spend some time as this year comes to a close thinking of the newness that lies ahead.

Some believe that today was to be the end of the world and while I never believed that to be true, I do believe we are at a point in history that is important for all of us.  We are at a point of transition.  A transition from fear, hate, and separation to love and co-creation.  I hope that each and every one of us will take some time to reflect on what we can do to work together to make this world a better place, to reach out and co-create a world of peace and love together as one.  I read a quote today that I love so much and thought I would share it here.

“The lamps are different, But the light is the same.” Rumi  May we move into 2013 with a sense of knowing that we hold within us the same light and love to change the world.  What will you do to change the world?

My No Plan-Plan

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It has been almost a week since my last post and I am so glad to be back.  The last few days I have been traveling with my family and while I typically hold a certain level of expectation for what we plan on doing each day and have a general plan in mind, this time was different.  This time we couldn’t exactly operate on our own accord since the reason for our travels was work-related for my partner and my son and I were just tagging along.  This week I have quickly learned to let go and I must admit, it has been pretty nice.

Generally I like to know what to expect regarding schedules and routines and quite frankly I really enjoy being able to control it.  (Did I just admit that???) I know I can’t always control what is going on and one of the things that makes life an adventure is the joy of the unexpected.  Learning and growing when things get a little hairy and ultimately learning to go with the flow.  This trip has helped me with that lesson.

While we had a loose understanding of what was going to happen during our trip and had an idea of the schedule (as much as you can when you are dealing with the military), we soon realized that “schedule” was sort of a joke.  Within a matter of 24 hours the plan had changed 4 times and it became very clear that we weren’t going to have as much free time as we previously thought.  If this had happened earlier in the year, the control freak in me would have been agitated, annoyed, and just plain angry that we were now unable to do all the fun things we had planned.  The new “go with the flow” side of me just accepted it and made the plan to have no plan.  Ironic isn’t it?

This whole no plan plan is not something I plan on utilizing in every avenue of my life because I really do have to have a plan for my dreams, goals, and many work related tasks, but learning to flow with the energy of life is a HUGE lesson for me.  If you know me personally you will understand that at times I can be a bit of a drama queen and can get very riled up when things don’t go as planned.  I have lived that way for as long as I can remember and yet now I feel like a new me is emerging.  Maybe it is because the year is coming to an end and I am beginning to think of the possibilities of the new year and what I can do to make it the best year yet.  Though I believe that is partially true, I don’t think I set this no plan plan intentionally.  I think it has simply grown out of my experience on this trip.

Intentional or not, this is a great lesson for me to learn.  It is one lesson I am happy to take with me into 2013 and beyond.  I believe a new me is emerging and I can’t wait to see what the new year brings and as we get closer and closer to 2013 there are some other things I would love to share and discuss with you, so check back often to read about my reflections on this past year and my loose intentions for 2013.  I can’t wait to hear about your intentions.